So I have no where to vent my frustration except on the forums. I was just given a lecture by my dad to play less of swtor (not that he knows what it is) because I "can't control myself and will get addicted" since he saw me have swtor open over the past few days. Now I am a very casual swtor player. Been playing for about a year and my highest toon is 51, the rest are low 20s, although I have 6 toons in total. This ie because I only play on break/ during the holidays becauwe the rest of the time im too busy with homework.

What he said was that I'll get addicted and can't control myself and the game will turn into a hobby such rhat I don't do work properly anymore. The problem is I have no grounds to defend myself even though I do pretty well in school and coaching and he's seen poof of it because he's too stubborn and ignorant and due to the fact that he has power over me. Even if I made a valid argument he would just say something like "I don't care do what the **** I say because I'm always right and I make you money and you don't make money", which is why I've decided to vent my frustration on the forums.

During the holidays I've got a lot of spare time, apart from the occasional piece of homework which I will always do on schedule and I think it would feel more rewarding to spend time that I rarely get outside of break onto an MMO rather than spend my day on youtube watching jennamarbles or something. He thinks that because I'm spending time on this game now,I will get addicted to the game later and not do my work. I always thought of playing the game as a reward for myself. I mean he doesn't even check in on my work. He just occasionally asks oh have you done a bit of maths homework? And then says I won't manage you, you do everything yourself and then goes and watches his tv shows. He doesn't know how much time I normally put into homework and yet hes trying to tell me what to choose as my hobbies. I just feel really pissed about this; somewhat oppressed and that he's just being a lazy parent.

I know most of the swtor playerbase are very mature people and well accomplished in life and dont have to deal with things like this. Im sorry I wrote basically an unstructured essay I just put out what came to mind. If anyone is bored enough to read this could you tell me am I just being a whiny little ***** or am I right? Im 14 almost 15 btw. Wow **** I wrote so much.

Massive kudos to anyone who reads the whole thing.

TLDR: Asian parents are ignorant stubborn ***** who dont give a **** about what their kids have to say.

And yes I've tried talking to him about how I feel once when he told me to delete all violent video games on my computer, because "violent games are more addictive"; it just turned out to be a huge argument with him screaming at me at the top of his lungs.

By the way happy australia day

Sounds like he cares about you, but doesn't know how to show it...

If you want to go to the effort, create a log book of your time spent. It sounds silly, but it could provide evidence of how productive you are with your time (outside of the school holidays in particular).

You shouldn't need to do this, but it's the only thing I can suggest if you want to show him that you aren't addicted to games, given the info you have provided.

[Edit]: Also, if he doesn't know anything about computer games, his reaction is quite understandable, most kids do get addicted to games, and violent games get all the bad media. There's a lot of speculation as to what games do/cause, with only a small portion of it having any real truth. Naturally it's the people outside the gaming community that hear these things and get the wrong idea before doing any research.

I don't think your a whiny anything. I think you are simply at the age where your parents way of thinking is a bit lost and frustrating to you. I do believe however that he does care about you but perhaps does lack the ability to actually say it. It sounds like to me that you are good student and takes studies seriously. So my advice, is to take the advice you can hear from your dad and then dismiss what you don't want to hear.

That way you won't find yourself so upset. Also kudos for dealing with your anger and frustration in a positive way. It shows great maturity,

Do a Force Choke on him.

And that is how you convince your dad that swtor doesn't make you violent.

Do a Force Choke on him.

Best to CC all friends and family when it's SW time. Force Choke doesn't last long enough.

Been there, and it sucks. Your dad's being an idiot.

Also, if he doesn't know anything about computer games, his reaction is quite understandable, most kids do get addicted to games, and violent games get all the bad media. There's a lot of speculation as to what games do/cause, with only a small portion of it having any real truth. Naturally it's the people outside the gaming community that hear these things and get the wrong idea before doing any research.

I don't really want to get into this, but, well, people are stupid. Games get 'all the bad media' in large part as a result of said media feeding on the general population's suspectability to hysteria and willingness to believe that the responsibility for all the worlds problems can be laid at the feet of anything that isn't them, and the media is fully willing to spread those stories because it turns a profit and protects their interests. The only speculating going on is that begun by the ethically bankrupt and perpetuated by the ignorant.

As to the bolded part, no, they don't.

IHe's probably concerned that you will waste your youth infront of a computer screen

I have limited my kids computer use to 1hr per day after they literally spent the whole 6 weeks holidays

Watching YouTube and playing minecraft They don't like it but I know its for their own good

as a teenager these years are extremely important.

You need to consentrate on school to get a good degree or job to have a decent life you want to be earning

80k+ in your early 20's not stuck in a minimum wage job as a working slave which is what will happen if you spend most of your time playing games

Don't dis your dad

Pull up peer rewieved studies about how computer games improive congnitive skills, language, expose you to various cultures and improve hand-eye coordination in addition to not having harmful side effects that can be shown scientifically.

Gaming is awesome and helps people grow as people if you can moderate it.

IHe's probably concerned that you will waste your youth infront of a computer screen

I have limited my kids computer use to 1hr per day after they literally spent the whole 6 weeks holidays

Watching YouTube and playing minecraft They don't like it but I know its for their own good

as a teenager these years are extremely important.

You need to consentrate on school to get a good degree or job to have a decent life you want to be earning

80k+ in your early 20's not stuck in a minimum wage job as a working slave which is what will happen if you spend most of your time playing games

 

Don't dis your dad

I think he is old enough to make his own decisions. I am not a parent myself but your parenting may not be the right way for him. So do not presume to know what is best for him. He is not your child.

Please read and have your dad read this report from IBM: http://www.ibm.com/ibm/gio/us/en/gaming.html

IBM and other major corporations also has other studies on how social gaming improves business skills. If you want to know why I know about this study, it's because I am a full-time employed grown up who does not work in games but has used my gaming skills and strategies in the workplace, and I have mentioned my gaming in interviews. At least once, a gaming story got me a contract position (profits were used to upgrade my computer).

My personal take: It is more of an American social thing - we use our games to be both cooperative and competitive. That's the part that carries over into the workplace. Read the report, and see if that will help you explain how your 'casual' gaming will help you get to 'business casual.'

Good luck! And of course, May the Force be with you!

It's not just Asian parents bro lol. I'm black and when I was your age (did I just say that? *shivers) my folks felt the same way your dad does. He felt I spent entirely too much time playing video games. I think what irked him most was the fact I worked & bought my own gaming systems. To him was a waste of money, but because I was spending money I made I got what I wanted. I was also an honor student taking mostly AP classes and I played basketball. Just like you, I didn't really have a lot of time to game. But in his eyes I was "always playing that Damn Nintendo". But the solution has already been mentioned.....a daily journal. You need to track your day.....everything you do. That way when he says "you're spending to much time gaming", you can show him that you're actually not spending as much time as he thinks. Also...I assume your dad pays for your sub. This needs to change. YOU need to pay for it with your own money that you've earned. And no...your allowance doesn't count as money earned. You can't get a "real job" at age 14, but you can get a hustle. There's something you can do for friends, other family members outside your house, or neighbors to make enough to pay for your gaming needs.

Trust me tho when I say "it's all part of growing up". Your only a couple of years older than MY oldest child. So I understand both sides. Good luck & may the force be with you.

It's not just Asian parents bro lol. I'm black and when I was your age (did I just say that? *shivers) my folks felt the same way your dad does. He felt I spent entirely too much time playing video games. I think what irked him most was the fact I worked & bought my own gaming systems. To him was a waste of money, but because I was spending money I made I got what I wanted. I was also an honor student taking mostly AP classes and I played basketball. Just like you, I didn't really have a lot of time to game. But in his eyes I was "always playing that Damn Nintendo". But the solution has already been mentioned.....a daily journal. You need to track your day.....everything you do. That way when he says "you're spending to much time gaming", you can show him that you're actually not spending as much time as he thinks. Also...I assume your dad pays for your sub. This needs to change. YOU need to pay for it with your own money that you've earned. And no...your allowance doesn't count as money earned. You can't get a "real job" at age 14, but you can get a hustle. There's something you can do for friends, other family members outside your house, or neighbors to make enough to pay for your gaming needs.

 

Trust me tho when I say "it's all part of growing up". Your only a couple of years older than MY oldest child. So I understand both sides. Good luck & may the force be with you.

No mate, I pay for my own sub. I usually only play in holidays so I pay for a month and cancel sub afterwards. I use swagbucks and usually by the time of a holiday, I have enough to get $25 in paypal cash.

Cool....well in that case, the journal will be your best option to get him off your back.

And If you think he's Trippin, wait till you try dating a female who's not a gamer.... everytime you look at a video game and she's like "you're always playing that game, you're not paying me any attention!" (Dang girl! It was a TV commercial! ) ROFLMAO

That's why I married a gamer lol

TLDR: Asian parents are ignorant stubborn ***** who dont give a **** about what their kids have to say.

 

And yes I've tried talking to him about how I feel once when he told me to delete all violent video games on my computer, because "violent games are more addictive"; it just turned out to be a huge argument with him screaming at me at the top of his lungs.

 

 

 

By the way happy australia day

Be thankful you have a parent that cares about your future success and well being rather than just going along with today's "let kids do whatever the **** they want" trend.

@leptir:

Sorry to say this but I had to smile as I read your posting; it just reminded me so much of how my own (European) father treated me when I was in your age. He used the exact same arguments and was afraid as well that playing computer games could become an addiction because: *clears throat*

"Computer games reward you without any real effort on your part (like getting good grades by learning hard for school)!"

He had a similar opinion on everything else I did for relaxation, like reading comics or watching TV. So I'd guess your father is as concerned about you having a good start in life (with a good education and good grades) as my father was.

I know that may not help you a lot but one way I dealt with that situation was to offer my father a bargain about when and how long I'd have my very own "free time" without him interfering (yeah, I was always a good diplomat when it came to handling people with determined personalities ). So I could read comics at evenings and had three hours on Saturday and Sunday to play computer games (but not on weekdays).

Overall, my father was very strict in his own beliefs and opinions, besides computer games and comics for example regarding homosexuals which he referred to as "sick people" at one time; however he later came around and accepted a lot of my personality traits. Today (20 years later) he has full confidence in my ability to make my own decisions and live with as well as handle the consequences. And he's now fine with me playing computer games as well.

But one very important thing that I learned from being the son of my father: The longer and more you desire something, the more enjoyment you'll have when you finally achieve it. And even today, when I have enough money to for example buy any DVD I want, anytime, I limit myself to a strict "leisure money" budget and don't spend any more money than that -- my own allowance, so-to-speak. So I still have months where I can't buy "everything, right away" and have to be patient until I have enough "leisure money" saved up.

In the end, I'm afraid you'll have to make the best of your current situation and develop an interest in things your father deems worthy to spend time on. And like others already wrote here, yes, I agree that your father only cares about you (in retrospect many things my own father said and did were an expression of his love and care). Todays world is not easy to live in and the better someone is prepared for it (with good grades and through that a good job) the less problems they'll have. So, please don't be too hard on your dad.

Oh, and no, you're not whiny, you're just a teenager without a protocol droid to help them communicate with their parents.