When I Wake

I don't recall seeing much of Torian's side of the relationship; don't think he says anything, which means it may all be in Mako's mind . However, Mako does tell him something along the lines of "you're never allowed to leave the ship again" after he gets captured, which I'm sure would really go over well with a hardcore Mandalorian (Enjoy him while you got him Mako, because I have plans mwahahaha!)

That's hilarious!! That would also make a good fanfic.
Wow... and I thought my BH was possessive... and they just really don't seem suited those two.
Yes! You steal him away!

Also:
Thank you!
And I was sooo disappointed when you don't go with Torian to Alderaan. I had been thinking 'yes! Get to meet Corridan and kill some senators!' but then no! You don't!
So that's why I have written this because that was so frustrating for me. And Corridan was only a holo figure who didn't say much so basically making him what I imagined he would be... and what suits my own purposes.


-----


Three hours before dawn...


'Watch is over, Torian. Go get some sleep,' I call as I walk closer.

I crouch down next to him and smile at the serious frown with which he watches the blackness below. Corellia's three moons are only slim crescents and the stars offer little light. But it's ok. I can see fine.

'Stay with you a while.' He doesn't move closer to me or stop watching the darkness below. After a pause when I almost tire of silence and the stars no longer occupy my thoughts, Torian moves his arm around me. I stiffen at first but then relax and move my head rest against his cold and hard armour.

Torian glances down at me and smiles in a way that bellies his serious expression of a moment before.

'Something good happen, Torian?'

'Part from you being here? Only spoke to Corridan.' Knew it would be that and Torian doesn't say any more about it for many minutes. Conversation gave me a lot to think about as well.

'What did you think of him?' Torian eventually asks.

I'm aware of what Torian wants to hear and know I should think about my words. Can say from my impression that he's close to being a good man. I feel he wouldn't do anything to sacrifice his or his clans honour and I think he does what he needs to without complaint. Yet to see how intelligent he is but I think it's on the upper side. Also seen that he can be compassionate when he sees it as necessary. But I feel he would be quick to anger and expect rigid obedience and complete competency. And I feel he isn't a man that would be quick to forgive a slight against him. But I can see how Torian has come to respect him so much.

'Many things. Will tell you at the end of tomorrow.' I flash a grin before saying, ' but don't worry. I won't be killing him anytime soon.'

Torian frowns and nods but the smile still tugs at the edges. Think it was the first time Corridan ever called him 'son' and I think Corridan's approval of me means a lot to him. The silence between us lengthens and nothing moves in the darkness. I look to the other watchers and see them in place and alive.

'Can see why you respect him, Torian.' I straighten as I hear a person tred behind us and I have an idea of who it is. 'Now, go! Need all the sleep you can get for tomorrow.'

Torian smiles down at me and kisses me gently.

'Later then,' he breathes as he stands. He walks away quietly and doesn't acknowledge the man that remains unseen in the shadows. I wait for him to come out.

Oooooo suspense

The not so suspenseful continuation...


I hear a new mans footsteps and heart. It makes the other man slink back into the shadows further and slip away. I know the next time he will approach me. And I will break his f***ing arm at least. Our confrontation could never end with only words.

'Never seen the kid so happy.'

I don't turn to Corridan's voice. I just keep looking out. My thermal vision is on. Everything is blue. Sometimes, there are small flashes of red as a lone bird flies in the night. Most have fled the city.

Corridan walks to kneel beside me and I don't let my guard down. He looks blind into the night. Only a few street lamps still work. He remains silent. I have nothing to say. Heard enough when he spoke to Torian. Seems I've done a lot of listening in on Torian's conversations recently. Hearing them just makes everything more complicated. How knowing your making someone happy complicated?

'Not just 'cause of Jicoln. All you. Know that, right?' Corridan speaks basic. Doesn't need to. Could speak Huttese, Mando'a, Dosh, Rodese, Durese, Shyriiwook or any other known language and I would be able to understand him. I don't want these Mandalorians to forget I am one of them.

'Don't need you to tell me about my husband's happiness,' I retort in Mando'a. I let a note of anger and apprehension slip into my voice. I turn my head to him and flash a smile. 'But it's appreciated.'

'After he met you on Dromund Kaas, he was star struck,' Corridan explains after a pause. 'And something more, I see now. You left a strong impression on him and the others. Mainly good. Don't want to know what half of them said. It had nothing to do with your fighting.' He grins slightly. 'Torian wasn't too impressed by that.' He chuckles at the memory. I can imagine Torian's silent disapproval. Mando'ad seem fond of gossip.

Corridan turns serious. 'Remember when he came for the hunt on Duxn after joining up with you. Seemed troubled by something. Angry and sad. Asked him about it and he said you both went on a big hunt.'

He pauses here as if he thinks I'm going to explain what Torian was thinking and feeling. I'm not. It's my business. Haven't even told Torian everything so I'm never going to tell him anything. Took over three months for Torian to know anything.

When Corridan realises I won't talk, he continues.

'He had plenty of other stories. Never smiling more than when he was thinking or talking of you. Obvious to see how he felt. Others were jealous to hear them. Didn't think him worth you.'

After a small pause he continues quietly. 'Good to see him happy. Never was inclined that way before. Not everyone can forgive a son for who their father was.'

I nod. The last part isn't a bit of new information. Never really thought about how Torian felt on Tython. Only ever assumed he was disgusted. I'm happier than I let on at hearing of Torian loving me so early. Thought I was alone there. I like the thought that all along the way, he was mine to hold.

'At the Alderaan op, I saw how his fighting had improved. The man he has become. It's a good one. Always knew it would be. He let slip you were teaching him many things.' His smile and eyes hint that he's not just talking about shooting with a blaster rifle. I can't help but smirk in return. Men gossip more than women. 'Seems you know a lot about fighting. Showed me the tooth you gave him. Wouldn't mind seeing how much you can do myself some time.'

I leer at Corridan but don't look at him. 'What about now? No other human or droid for another three hundred meters that aren't ours and no aircrafts flying in this sector.'

He regards me for a moment. I tap my ear. He nods.

We fight bare handed. I go easy on him. We're both slow at first. But gradually the tempo increases. He's on the ground in twenty. We both change fighting styles. He's on the ground in fifteen. And again: ten. Not even trying hard and choosing how long each bout should be. But he is good. Would have been better at Torian's age. He'll have more than one bruise in the morning. Possibly a black eye. But nothing that will impair his fighting in the morning.

'Perfect form. No weaknesses. Fluid movements. Been trained well. I wonder by who.' I don't nod or acknowledge this. I just keep going through the movements. All the while, I am aware of the streets below.

'Interested to see what you can do with a gun. Guess I'll see tomorrow.' I pin him to the ground again. When I let him go, he only sits up. He's seen enough. 'Fight well. Speak Mando'a. See why Torian chose you. You are one of us.'

I nod and return to watching the streets. Think about replying that I don't need his approval or say so to be Mando; I think about saying being Mando'ad means little to me; I think about thanking him and I think about not saying anything. What I do say surprises me a little.

'Not the only woman around here that meets that criteria.' Loathe the bitterness in my voice.

Corridan chuckles a little. 'Insecure are we?' I scowl at him with a death stare and though he quietens his grin remains. 'Don't be. Never seen Torian look at any of them the way he looks at you. Others have only been casual things. Don't think he cared for them at all. Can't say the others felt that way.'

I keep my face impassive. I'm insecure? Never thought about women for longer than a few moments a couple of times. Suppose Torian never had to worry about other men outside of Gault. I killed them all. Remember Torian's words on Belsavis: the viciously desperate look in his eyes. Guess knowing they're dead isn't always comforting. It doesn't change feelings or memories. People who say time heals or wounds are full of crap and lies. It's never true no matter how many times you tell yourself that. The anger I feel would never change even if I had a life time.

'I don't like competition.' I smile at the memory. I don't like competition either.

Corridan smirks a little. He has a good smirk. Well practiced. 'And they don't all meet that criteria. From what I have seen of you now, I know none could beat you. None prettier, either.' His smirk twists into a flirtatious smile.

I am lying over him, my gun pressed to his temple and my lags and spare hands pinning him to the ground. I am fast. I try not think of why. I don't like to think of why I can do a lot of things.

'Pow,' I say clearly with dead eyes and a blank face.

But then I grin down at him and laugh. 'I'm the kind of woman that shoots if you try anything.' I wink at him and roll into a sitting position.

Corridan's wizened face shows surprise. I don't think his face has moved like that in a few decades. There is a question in his eyes. I tap my temporal lobe, just above my ear, and wink. He nods and returns the grin.

'Kind of woman that's full of surprises, I'm sure. Wonder if Torian knows about that.' I wink again and sit against a pile of rubble, my back to the city.

Corridan turns sober and continues. 'Weren't many lovers, though. Not everyone accepts Torian because of Jicoln. Thought for a while he ruined his sons life. But it's only made him stronger and try harder. Wish more were like him.'

I nod. Yes, I think I do like Corridan. He knows not only how to gain respect but also love. He can read people well and say what needs to be said with a frankness that isn't repulsive. Seems like a man that does have honour. Almost a good man. Almost.

'Are any of them here?' I ask curiously. It try to remain stoic but Corridan has sharp eyes.

'I don't want one less clan Ordo member,' is his stern reply. I smile at the way he's quick to protect his clan. I don't push for names.

After a lengthening silence Corridan speaks again. 'He didn't teach you, did he? You couldn't have learnt so well so quickly. Hardly an accent. Another enigma.' He looks at me with determined curiosity; the look a man gives a particularly hard but fascinating puzzle they can't yet put down.

'Had a wide and thorough education,' I reply vaguely. I don't look at him. I return to my post properly. I have piqued his curiosity and though I think it started as a concern for Torian, he's now just plainly interested. I'm not here to interest or entertain others.

'Seems you have. After our victory, during the feasting, we will have a competition. Standard celebrations. Interested to see how you fare. Torian will enter. Think I might this time, too. Want to see how good he's gotten since Alderaan personally. Torian won the last one. Now I know why. He had a good teacher.'

'Had a harsh teacher,' I correct. 'He's the good learner. Give him all the credit. Learnt a lot faster than I did.' I can't help but sound proud of him. Guess he's my trophy too.

Corridan chuckles a little. I turn and look at him with a look that demands an explanation. I don't appreciate being laughed at. He's more than slightly amused. 'Haven't seen two people so in love in a long time,' he explains. 'Very refreshing,' but the look in his eye suggests something different and the dark brown eyes only look sad.

'Good to know you're taking care of him.' Wouldn't say that if he knew anything. Happy as Corridan's words have made me, they are void. Doesn't know enough for them to mean anything. So I cast them away from organic memory. I could never take care of Torian.

Corridan gets up and leaves. He has a slight limp. I didn't go that easy on him. But it's nothing that won't be fine in a few hours.

And then I am alone with my thoughts in a way I never wanted to be.

Two years, huh? Wonder how much destruction I can cause in two years while I'm here. Two years is too short to love Torian. I wish I had more than half of me to give. But I don't. And I can't. I look to the stars and see the words 'what if?' written there. Too many 'what if's to count.

I have decided what I would wish for if I only had one. Revenge is within my means. And Torian is within my arms now. But 'now' can only last for so long.

I don't want to leave you, Torian. So please, fate, let me stay. I silently beg the impassive, silent stars.

'I don't want to die anymore,' I whisper to no one. I am alone.



----

*sniffle* must.. hug Hunter.. without dying!

Didn't just make yourself cry
I'm curious though, this 'paying for the sins of the father' thread, with Torian and then with the General's children...curious to see the outcome.

But my BH was making me sad
@ Milani, I think we should all give her none stabbing or violent hugs.

And yes, I am aware (and so is she) that Torian would entirely hate that idea and nothing else she could do (maybe short of killing him or Corridan) could test their relationship like that would. Thus, (not really sure if this is a spoiler but your choice)


-----

The start of dawn...


In the morning, there are numerous comments about Corridan's black eye.

When people ask, he merely laughs and loudly exclaims something about 'testing the new blood'. Torian watches me suspiciously from across the room as he talks to his friends. I sit alone on a tall crate against a wall that has a close exit and view of the entire hall. It gives me a clear view over everyone's heads and I'm able to watch the interactions of the Mando'ad as I clean my armour. I also check my rockets and grappling hook. I've decided not to use any other weapons today. I will only use myself.

I watch Torian and his friends now and again but I don't join them. Never cultivated a skill for 'making friends'. My ability for social interactions is limited to seducing people and killing them. They weren't always exclusive things but the first was always shortly by the second. Observational learning will be more effective then research and I'm not willing to try practice.

Later, Torian breaks away and comes to me. He asks about Corridan's eye as I look down on him from my perch.

I shrug. 'He wanted to see me fight. You know I can't resist a challenge.' Torian nods and his lips twitch.

'You won?'

'You doubt me?' I ask rebuke with indignation. I jump down smoothly and he unnecessarily catches me by the waist, placing my gently on the ground.

'No. Just wanted to know how easy you went on him.'

'Very. Black eye is the worst he's got though I also suspect his got a large bruise on his lower back and behind his left knee which he is successfully hiding from everyone.' Torian doesn't turn to look at Corridan to agree with my appraisal. He only stares at me as intently as usual.

I lean against the crate and he moves closer. 'Still a rather good fighter. I didn't flatter him though by allowing him to get a hit. But-'

Torian cuts me off with a kiss and I stand dumbly even when he draws away. My lips still burn and I feel dizzy in a way only Torian could ever achieve.

'Was that for anything in particular?' I ask as my body finally regains the ability to move and air returns to my empty lungs. I move my hands to his waist but I can't meet his intense stare, so I look to the ground to my left and trace the cracks in the tiles with my eye.

'Jorcu ni kar'taylir gar darasuum.' Because I love you. He moves a hand to my cheek and turns my face to his like I have done to him so many times. He kisses me again with more force. 'Jorcu gar mech'la.' Because your beautiful. He kisses my nose, forehead, cheek, and then lips again. 'Jorcu ni ures* gar.' Because I missed you.

I don't know what to say to Torian's forward words so I only kiss him back.

'Clearing out in ten, Caderas,' Corridan says with a laugh after he walks past us.

We break away and Torian grins down at me with quiet and complete happiness.

'He's got a point,' I remark. I kiss Torian's chin. 'So, what's today's wager, riduur? I'm feeling 8 to 10. Thinking you might do better to impress.'

'You're on, Cyare.' He smiles down at me.

'Usual bet?' I raise me arm and fist.

'Usual bet.'

We cross wrists.



----



* I couldn't find a Mando'a word for 'miss' so I went with 'ures' which is 'without' or 'lacking'.

*om nom nom's your story* mm so delicious. *om nom nom*

Twenty minutes later...



Torian and I are in Corridan's assault group.

Front lines. Standard attack. We come in the front. Others from back and sides. Meet in the middle and half will head for the politician's chambers while the other half will clear out the rest of the upstairs.

It's a small group. Only forty. All teams have ten each. Jogo is not in our squad. Corridan is a smart man.

'Champion,' accosts an older woman in our squad, 'where are you weapons?' We continue to advance on the entrance, still hidden from attack by our own defences.

I hold my arms wide form my body a grin. 'They're in me.'

She looks at me curiously but doesn't ask any more questions. We advance on the lines and I notice how beautiful the rays of light look as they shine down through thin, morning clouds. It's going to be a nice day.

'Jurkadir!' Corridan calls.

I laugh and sprint as fast as I can to the Republic soldiers. I extend my blades and turret and summersault the remaining metres to the soldiers as they pointlessly fire at me and my comrades. I cut the necks of the soldiers I land behind them and continue down there ranks in that fashion as Torian joins me at my side. A few seconds later, the other melee Mando's join us as the cross fire rages around us. Melee is to take the middle while ranges takes the sides.

Torian fights well. He doesn't take risks to impress. Doesn't need to. We fight as a coordinated duo and take down a large section of the first two lines together. We don't need to give verbals anymore. We just know. I laugh occasionally. Never thought fighting in a team could be fun.

We make it to the middle while the side and back clean up the ones fleeing or taking a final and futile stand. The team begins to heal injuries. I don't have any.

'Good job, Caderas. Glad to have you along,' Corridan congratulates as he places his hands on our shoulders. 'Your wife has some impressive weaponry hidden in there, Torian.'

'Don't I know it,' Torian says with a shrug and something close to as sly smile.

'Said it yourself, Corridan Ordo, I'm a woman full of surprises.' I tap the side of my head and he laughs. Torian looks at me with a pleased expression and Corridan removes his hands while saying something about not wanting to be in any cross fire.

Corridan looks around and only dead soldiers can be seen. Clean up crew is done. Only have to wait for the other squads to reach us.

'Don't get too comfortable. Not over yet. Stay alert,' he tells us with the stern voice of a man of command as Torian take my small hand in his gloved one. Torian nods and remains solemn.

'I don't need to tell you to have fun,' Corridan says with a chuckle before walking off to speak t the others, his eyes constantly scanning the large hall for any sign of an enemy. The others eyes only remain on Torian and I. Seems I'm the newest circus freak on a small back-water planet.

But I'm still smiling. I ignore their suspicion and impressed looks I recieve and focus on Torian.

'Count?'

'Twenty seven, Cyare,' Torian replies with pride.

'Kandosii,' I compliment with a smile and lightly kiss his lips. 'But I still win.'

'Your count?'

'Thirty two,' I reply and kiss his cheek. 'You owe me dinner now.' Torian only smiles in reply.

I hear mumbles of things in Mando'a like 'I thought fifteen was good' and another 'lucky arue'tal.' Torian frowns again and his eyes grow grave and his stature rigid and formal.

I turn and glare at the man that said the last one. He tries to sneer back but as I hold up my knife dripping in blood, he becomes scared and looks away. I leer at him and look back to Torian.

Torian is bleeding from a shallow cut on his forearm. I don't do him the dishonour or embarrassment of treating it like I normally would. I merely motion to it and he nods and begins to do it himself. I make a show of cleaning my knives as I sit next to him.

'Not the end yet, Cyare,' Torian mentions casually.

'No. But there aren't enough up there,' I point to the ceiling, 'to allow you anything near a comeback.'

'We'll see,' is his simple reply as he heals his arm with a faint smile. I don't get to make a retort as the other squads arrive.

Corridan briefs on the remainder of the plan. No causalities so far. It's even easier from here.


----

I like that she can have fun with a group, that the Mandos respect her abilities. Oooo games!