Jump to content

Knightless: A Jedi Knight Alternate Universe


kabeone

Recommended Posts

This is about what the SW:TOR Galaxy would be if the Jedi Knight in the story line never became a Jedi but everything else that was going to happen tried to happen anyway. It is both a collection of short stories and a comic book.

 

If you are familiar with Remi the Grey this is the same character except she never becomes a Jedi. I am also attempting to draw this as I go so you get to see me stumble through that. Feel free to comment/critique anything.

 

Index of Comic pages from my Art Thread:

The Prologue That Wasn't: Cover, Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5

 

Prologue

 

A Dish Best Served Cold: Story, Cover, Page 1, Page 2, Page 3, Page 4, Page 5

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Prologue that Wasn’t

Reposted and edited from short fic. This is the origin story for Remi the Grey.

 

No Spoilers

 

 

Balmorra 3 BTC

 

The war for territory and resources raged on every planet. Balmorra, a nexus of industry and invention, was not immune and they were losing. The Republic was reduced to a single base and lost more ground to the Empire every day.

 

Maksim Ritsarsyeriy leader of the Balmorran resistance watched his daughter with pride and worry. She looked so much like her mother, with her pale skin and dark red hair, but her yellow eyes marked her as his. He paced while he waited for his wife, her mother, Selena to come back from her mission. This was not the place to fall in love, nor the place to raise a child, yet they did the best they could, finding happiness in the chaos.

 

Maks was a master strategist, and his men believed it was he who kept the resistance from falling, but he knew the truth. It was his Selena, who should be given credit. She had been his most fearless operative before they fell in love, sneaking into Imperial camps posing as a peasant, a serving girl, a dancer, whatever it took to get the intel they needed to hamper the Empire’s efforts.

 

The newer resistance fighters often wondered how a young pretty woman like Selena became an insurgent. Her father had been Balmorra’s top weapons designer. Imperials tortured and killed him in front of his family when he refused to serve the Empire. After witnessing their cruelty in the face of simple protest, Selena had vowed to fight until the Empire was gone or she was dead. She became a master of disguise and a ruthless assassin. Two years ago, while she was pregnant, the entire resistance went blind.

 

There was guilt when Selena looked at their daughter. Guilt that she stood by while the Empire gained territory, guilt that she raised her in such a warzone, guilt that she refused to stop fighting, and guilt that she wanted to run away and give her the life she deserved. Maks understood he felt the same. He placed the toddler on the map table, letting her play with the little unit tokens.

 

“Maks,” Selena hurried in, “I overheard at the camp, they know about us, they’re coming.”

 

He swore and hit the alarm. This was not the first time a hideout had been discovered, they would have to fight to clear a path so the others could run to a new hiding place, and if the worst happened, they would retreat to the Republic base.

 

Adella, an old Twilek woman who took care of the wounded resistance fighters came in to take charge of their daughter. “Go,” she said in her native tongue, having never learned to speak Basic, “I’ll look after Cori.” They nodded with relief and ran to shore up their defenses.

 

She picked up the toddler and headed to the family bunker to wait with the others. The room was filled with people too old, too young or too wounded to fight. As the sounds of gunfire and explosions grew closer, Cori, who had long since grown used to the sounds of war, fell asleep. Adella held the little girl on her lap, grateful that she was not fussy.

 

A massive explosion shook the bunker. The children cried, the adults murmured fearfully, Cori woke up and screamed.

 

It was not a natural scream, it shook the room like the explosion before it, it only lasted a second then the little girl went limp in the old woman’s arms. Adella touched her nose and her hand came away bloody, the child’s scream had hit her physically.

 

Adella’s son ran down the stairs. “Is everyone alright?”

 

“We’re fine, Rolan.” Adella called speaking for the group, “What news?”

 

“It’s clear, the Imps are moving fast, we’ll have to get to the next base quickly.” The others filed out calmly knowing what to do. They may be old men, women and children, but they were used to this life of endless combat and running.

 

Adella was last to leave, “Where are Maks and Selena?”

 

Rolan stared at his feet, “They’re dead.” Adella nearly dropped Cori in shock. “I didn’t want to scare the others, the Imps brought more than a squad, they had a Sith with them. Maks and Selena led them to a resupply. Then they blew the whole thing up, themselves too. That’s what everyone felt just now.”

 

Adella looked at the little girl who had not moved since the explosion. “She felt it,” Adella said softly, “She felt her parents die, she screamed when it happened, it felt like a punch in the face. I think she can use the Force.”

 

“Mother, if they find a Force user among us, they’ll kill us all.” Rolan looked alarmed then guilty. Adella chuckled, the war and the resistance had made them all a little short sighted and cold.

 

“I will take her to the Republic base.” She assured him, “She will go to the Jedi.”

 

Adella traveled with the group going closest to the base. She got past the Republic sentries who did not have the heart interrogate a tired old Twilek carrying a baby. They allowed her to speak with a Jedi, who put his hand on Cori’s head and closed his eyes. Adella thought his test was rubbish, a show of hand waving so that there would not be a flood of children brought to the base to be taken to a safer planet. He asked her to enter the child’s name on a datapad. Having never learned Basic nor how to pronounce Maks’s last name, she did her best. She sounded out Cori’s full name Coremi Ritsarsyeriy.

 

The Jedi looked at it. “Remi Syeriy.” He stumbled over the odd name. Adella nodded, it was close enough.

 

 

Comic Pages from Art Thread

Cover, Page 1, Page 2

 

Comic Script up to page 2 (derp)

 

 

 

Page 1

Panel 1: Mountainside of Balmorra

Cap: Balmorran Resistance HQ, 3BTC

 

Panel 2: Maks carrying baby Coremi

 

Panel 3 Full Page: Zoom in on Maks face

Cap:

Name: Maksmi Ritsaryeriy, Resistance Leader

Age: 36

Species: Human/Unknown

Occupation: Strategist

Skills: Demolitions , Heavy Weapons, Slicing

Known Associates: Selena, Wife Coremi, Daughter

 

Page 2:

Panel 1 Full Page: Selena leaning against doorway

Cap: Maks, we have to evacuate. I overheard at the camp, the Imps know about us. They're coming.

Cap:

Name: Selena Ritsaryeriy, Resistance Operative

Age: 25

Species: Human

Skills: Assassination, Seduction, Infiltration

See surveillance footage

 

Panel 2: Maks hits emergency button

Cap: E chu ta!!

 

Panel 3: Soldiers lined up for inspection, Selena standing in line wearing Imp uniform

 

Panel 4: Selena seducing officer

 

Panel 5: Selena killing commander (infiltrator gear)

 

 

 

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I am so excited for more! I love your pictures too! I really like the one with Coremi's mother. It looks sweet when she assinates that dude.:D

 

Thanks! I am slow though... at my best I can do only one page a day. Yikes and I have the attention span of a... thing with a really short attention span... what was I saying? :D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Prologue That Wasn't Comic Script Page 3

 

 

 

Page 3

Panel 1: Old Twilek woman comes to take charge of Cori

Cap:

Adella: Go, I’ll look after Cori.

Panel 2: Parents go to shore up defenses

Panel 3: Adella follows line to bunker.

Panel 4: Parents take up positions outside

Panel 5: Red eyes and Red lightsaber show their parents will face a Sith.

 

 

 

Comic Page 3 in FanArt thread

 

Notes:

 

 

Upon re-reading my "script" I saw how far I deviated when I drew this thing. I thought about changing it but I think it's more fun to reflect on how bad I am. Also! Messed up speech bubbles on Page 2. Fix it? NO.

 

 

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Squee! I've been checking out the pages as they come up, now I have proper time to sit down and focus on cri-ooh shiny objects over there

 

I mean, um.

 

First off, I like how recognizable the models from game are. Both character appearances and clothes (love Selena's jacket!).

 

Spacing and overlay on panels is good...it's one of those things you don't often notice until it gets screwed up. And for heaven's sake, you actually work with a natural reading/gaze-flow pattern down the page. Page 3 in particular just leads the eye exactly where it needs to go. Easy to follow.

 

Ooh, I like the zone map in background of the rebel base!

 

In conclusion, yay! :)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

@bright_ephemera Thanks for the feedback. I'm terrible at layout and color so I keep looking at other comic books going how do they figure out to DO that.

 

The Prologue That Wasn't Comic Script Page 4

 

 

 

 

Page 4:

Panel 1: Maks and Selena exchange fire with Imps

Panel 2: They run for cover to a small building

Panel 3: Selena looks injured and can’t run

Panel 4: They exchange a look and lure the imps into the building.

Panel 5: Building Explodes

 

 

 

 

Comic Page 4 in FanArt thread

 

Notes:

 

 

Again, major deviation from script. I'm not sure if I'm making it more active or just trying to avoid drawing redundant scenes :). Also, this was page 6 but page 4 and 5 were boring and putting this after them broke up the page 3 build up (at least I thought so.)

 

 

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The Prologue that Wasn't Page 5

 

 

Page 5:

Summary:

Coremi senses the deaths of her parents after the massive explosion that shakes the bunker. She “force-screams” for a second before collapsing. Adella’s son comes to tell the people in the bunker the way is clear. He tells Adella that Maks and Selena are dead. She tells him that Coremi could use the Force. They discuss the danger of keeping a force sensitive child. Adella takes Coremi to the Republic base. Adella does not speak basic and misspells Coremi’s name.

 

Panel 1: Close up of Coremi sleeping, mostly eyes

Panel 2: Pull back slightly still close to face, her eyes open. (Background BOOM? May not be necessary.)

Panel 3: Same close up, Coremi screams. Blur around her face in a circle to indicate the force of it.

 

Panel 4: Adella’s son appears in the doorway

Cap:

Rolan: The way is clear, everyone move out.

 

Panel 5: Adella holding Coremi facing Rolan, side view.

Cap:

Adella: Where are Maks and Selena?

Rolan: They’re dead.

Adella: She felt it. She screamed for her mother, it felt like a punch. I think she can use the Force.

Rolan: Mother if the Imps find a force sensitive among us,they’ll kiss us all.

 

Panel 6: Touching her bleeding nose.

Cap:

Adella: She felt it. She screamed it felt like a punch. I think she can use the force.

Rolan: Mother, if the Imps find a force sensitive among us, they’ll kill us all.

 

Panel 7: Adella speaking to a Jedi, Jedi hands her a datapad.

Cap:

Adella: You’re right, I will take her to the Republic base, she will go to the Jedi.

Jedi: Enter her name here.

Adella: I don’t write basic.

Jedi: Just do your best.

 

Panel 8: Zoom in on datapad it reads Remi Syeriy

 

 

 

 

Comic Page 5 in the FanArt Thread

 

Notes:

 

 

This was 3 boring pages that I crammed into one which is why it has the most dialog and I still cut a ton of dialog out from the script. The pacing felt a little off to me. Let me know if you have any feedback about it.

 

 

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Knightless #1: A Dish Best Served Cold

 

Reposted and edited from AU Shortfic

Spoilers for JK End Chapter 2 and Imperial Balmorra

 

 

 

Prologue: The End in the Beginning

 

A massive explosion shook the bunker. The children cried and the adults murmured fearfully.

Adella’s son ran down the stairs. “Is everyone alright?”

 

“We’re fine, Rolan.” Adella called speaking for the group, “What news?”

 

“It’s clear, the Imps are moving fast, we’ll have to get to the next base quickly.” The others filed out calmly knowing what to do. They may be old men, women and children, but they were used to this life of endless combat and running.

 

Adella was last to leave, “Where are Maks and Selena?”

 

Rolan stared at his feet, “Maks is dead.” Adella nearly dropped Cori in shock. “I didn’t want to scare the others, the Imps brought more than a squad, they had a Sith with them. Maks led them to a resupply. Then he blew the whole thing up, himself too. That’s what everyone felt just now. Selena's heading the evac, she said to take Cori to Hide 6.”

 

Adella nodded hugging Cori close. The loss of Maks would be terrible for the resistance, but at least Cori still had her mother.

 

 

A Dish Best Served Cold

Balmorra 12 ATC

 

Darth Lachris sat at the head of the table entertaining her latest guest. She had taken Balmorra with the help of that young Sith. She wondered if Ninka would live up to her potential, or would she be squashed under the heel of her master, Darth Baras. It was unfortunate that the handsome Lieutenant Quinn, chose to go with her when she left. She had enjoyed toying with a man who obeyed anything a Sith told him to do without question. Now someone far more delightfully interesting and dangerous sat beside her.

 

He was a Sith pureblood, tall, proud, powerful, everything a Sith should be. He was only a Lord, not a Darth, but he stood outside of Sith politics. He was the Wrath, immortal and ancient, he served the Emperor directly and now he was here on Balmorra.

 

She gazed at him, not too admiringly, she would not embarrass herself, but she made her interest plain. They were having a civilized meal, a rarity on Balmorra, she invited her guest of honor and four other Sith who had arrived shortly after she captured the arms factory.

 

“I hope you’re not here to kill me,” she said coyly over a glass of wine. The slaves pushed a cart laden with their next course. Lachris smiled and hit a switch on her remote. All four slaves dropped to their knees as the electricity arced from their collars through their bodies. The Sith at the table laughed or tittered as their personalities permitted. Her guest of honor looked unimpressed.

 

“It’s not random cruelty, my lord,” she smiled, “The voltage prevents them from trying to bring explosives to the table, after a few resistance fighters got into my slave pen, I can never be too careful.”

 

He inclined his head accepting her explanation. “My master has no need of me at the moment.” He said in response to her earlier query, “I am here on my own business.”

 

“Well then,” she arched a delicate brow, “Perhaps that will be beneficial to me.”

 

The servants circled the table, placing plates and selections next to each Sith. As the host, Darth Lachris was served last. She shocked each of the servants before could approach her.

 

Lord Scourge watched the slaves accept their punishment silently. They were all so thoroughly broken they could not muster anger or fear, he wondered how Lachris could tolerate being surrounded by the walking dead. The final servant placed a side dish in front of Darth Lachris, a rare sweet fruit. She and the other Sith bit into it eagerly, exclaiming over the flavor. Lord Scourge could not taste anything and was content to work through his meal in the order it was served, as none of it made a difference to him.

 

Soon, he noticed the others had gone quiet, they cleared their throats softly, looking slightly nervous. Poison, he thought, his eyes snapped to the last servant. From one moment to the next, she went from subservient to deadly. She grabbed a knife off the table and stabbed Darth Lachris in the neck. The poison paralyzed its victims and for all her power, Lachris could do nothing to stop the attack. The servant drew the knife out laterally, an arterial spray splashed across the table. The Darth slumped forward.

 

As the only one capable of mounting a defense, Lord Scourge drew his lightsaber, but the woman had already pulled out a simple ignition based explosive, one that would not have been affected by the electrical current. She lit the fuse and tossed it on the table meeting his eyes for a split second before she turned and dove out a nearby window.

 

Lord Scourge was forced to do the same in the opposite direction. He landed, grateful that the building was not far off the ground, and rolled to his feet while a rain of debris and body parts fell around him. The building burned and the worthless men who called themselves Imperial security ran to attend to the latest crisis. Attempting to determine the direction the assassin had run, Scourge thought he caught a glimpse of her disappearing into a blocked off tunnel system.

 

He ignored the questions of the Imperials gathered around him. He only thought of one thing. That face. The face he had waited three hundred years to see. The time drew near, but something was wrong. She was here, she was not a Jedi, and she did not use the force. Whatever the reason, he needed to find this woman, and train her himself if he had to. It might be the only hope for everyone.

 

 

 

 

 

Cover from the Fanart Thread

 

Notes:

 

 

 

I am assuming chapter 1 starts around 12 ATC. This is for my own convenience so that the main character's age is 17-18 at the start of the story.

 

 

 

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

May I kill your Sith?

 

I'm going to be drawing the scenes from the last little story piece. If you have read it you know that 4 other nameless Sith die. When you write, the extras can be as nameless and faceless as you want. When you draw, eh little harder to show 4 Sith without showing 4 Sith. I can make them up, I can look in the game for random Sith to kill, but if you want and are willing I can kill YOUR Sith in my alternate universe. I can even have a mention of their name if you like or it can just be a sith who looks vaguely like yours.

 

Just link to a screenshot of your Sith.

 

I don't think too many people read this thread so I doubt I'll have a flood of volunteers. If I do get more than 4 I'll pick the 4 most different looking because sometimes the PC's we make kind of look the same and I'm not subtle (good) enough with my drawings to make them distinct. For instance, had it not been for hair color and makeup choice Darth Lachris and Coremi's mom would have been the same person. Awkward.

 

Anyway, let me kill your Sith.

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Either Lenny or Nis would benefit greatly from some getting-blown-up-by-freedom-fighters. Wow, and ending up in a comic book about getting herself blown up would make Nalenne miserable :D

 

 

http://i1242.photobucket.com/albums/gg522/bright_ephemera/Misc%20SWTOR/NalenneContinuitySmaller.png

 

 

Then there's always the part-time-LS trio of Colran, Ruth, or Rylon Niral. Heavens only know what they would be doing dining on Balmorra, exactly, but if you need warm (yet rapidly cooling) bodies...

 

 

http://i1242.photobucket.com/albums/gg522/bright_ephemera/Misc%20SWTOR/Ruth_cast_RMC.png

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Either Lenny or Nis would benefit greatly from some getting-blown-up-by-freedom-fighters. Wow, and ending up in a comic book about getting herself blown up would make Nalenne miserable :D

 

Eeee yes! Considering Nalenne's love of comic books, I have to use her, it would be so funny because technically this would be a Republic side comic book that she would be downloading illegally, then she'd see her own face... rampage! So one from bright_ephemera, Vesaniae, Earthmama and iamthehoyden when she gets home. Yay!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Eeee yes! Considering Nalenne's love of comic books, I have to use her, it would be so funny because technically this would be a Republic side comic book that she would be downloading illegally, then she'd see her own face... rampage! So one from bright_ephemera, Vesaniae, Earthmama and iamthehoyden when she gets home. Yay!

 

Bursting into Coruscant Comics' headquarters..."You! I want a word with the creative director for this Knightless drivel!"

 

"S-she - uh - she's very busy, ma'am-"

 

"It will be a very short word. I could leave a message - " Nalenne drew her saber - "but I doubt you want to take it for her."

Link to comment
Share on other sites

http://i715.photobucket.com/albums/ww157/iamthehoyden/BabySithlets_zpsac27dc52.jpg

My baby Sithlets. Zram and Jestra. Feel free to use or not, I'm providing them purely as options.

 

Zram is an arrogant dethroned Sith who intends to take back his rightful position. (But mostly I made him for the hotness factor.)

Jestra is the motherf------ queen in her own mind. She doesn't just want to become a Sith, she wants to rule them all and grind anyone who gave her trouble as a slave under her heel.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Bursting into Coruscant Comics' headquarters..."You! I want a word with the creative director for this Knightless drivel!"

 

"S-she - uh - she's very busy, ma'am-"

 

"It will be a very short word. I could leave a message - " Nalenne drew her saber - "but I doubt you want to take it for her."

 

haha, I'm totally going to try to draw that

 

http://i715.photobucket.com/albums/ww157/iamthehoyden/BabySithlets_zpsac27dc52.jpg

My baby Sithlets. Zram and Jestra. Feel free to use or not, I'm providing them purely as options.

 

Zram is an arrogant dethroned Sith who intends to take back his rightful position. (But mostly I made him for the hotness factor.)

Jestra is the motherf------ queen in her own mind. She doesn't just want to become a Sith, she wants to rule them all and grind anyone who gave her trouble as a slave under her heel.

 

Oooo zabrak yes please. Poor Scourge, having dinner in a room full of Sithy estrogen.

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The pages with my volunteer victims will probably take me forever to draw but here is a preview of the lovely ladies looking flirty at Lord Scourge. You know you would!

 

Also, if you do not want your character's name on there let me know, I will leave it off and if you don't like it or have a critique I welcome any comments but I suck so I may not be able to accommodate changes.

 

Thar be an image in the spoiler

 

 

There's a larger version you can dl from my deviant art.

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/264/8/4/dinner_party_by_kabeone-d5fel1i.png

 

 

Edited by kabeone
Link to comment
Share on other sites

The pages with my volunteer victims will probably take me forever to draw but here is a preview of the lovely ladies looking flirty at Lord Scourge. You know you would!

 

Also, if you do not want your character's name on there let me know, I will leave it off and if you don't like it or have a critique I welcome any comments but I suck so I may not be able to accommodate changes.

 

Thar be an image in the spoiler

 

 

There's a larger version you can dl from my deviant art.

http://fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2012/264/8/4/dinner_party_by_kabeone-d5fel1i.png

 

 

I lolled and in my opinion Atr'o looks like a sexy beast..... Awkward lol:D

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...