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Star Wars: Episode I (rewrite)

Klannad's Avatar

08.22.2012 , 08:36 AM | #1
It is a period of galactic strife. After the thirty year HYPERSPACE WAR, The Galactic Empire and its protectorate planets took on an oath of demilitarization, Arming themselves only with the necessary means to protect their own interests. Despite this, Imperial laws of taxation have gripped the galaxy, causing unrest among its citizens. In a shocking move , the TRADE FEDERATION blockaded the peaceful planet of Naboo, using its Merchant Ships as instruments of aggresion. The Jedi Council has sent KNIGHT OBI-WAN KENOBI and his apprentence, ANAKIN SKYWALKER to settle the dispute, to prevent another war from gripping the Galaxy...

ALSO: Since someone pm'd me about some guy posting my story on don't worry ahaha. That's me. But thanks for the warning. This is the second official link for this story, in more organized format as opposed to an ongoing thread.

Anakin sat uncomfortably in his hard mettalic seat. With the protective bindings strapped around him, It felt more like a prison than somewhere to plop down. He peered to his left to see the the vast expanse of space through his viewscreen. He was awed - So many stars! He thought. He wished he was in a fast single fighter ship- Not this bulkly military grade space crypt.

"Anakin, Focus." Obi-wan's gruff voice broke the young Jedi's daydream. The boy laughed to himself and stared ahead- Obi-wan sat infront of him, next to the ship's pilot- A nameless clone wearing a light gray uniform.

"Focus on what? How old this ship is? Is it really from the Hyperspace war?" Anakin asked.

"Yes. You know that, Anakin. The Empire hasn't produced an army in over ten years." Obi-wan answered, with a tint of annoyance.

Anakin laughed again. "And all the senators are amazed when something like this happens!"

This earned a chuckle from Obi-wan, and Anakin smiled as well, he could picture Obi-wan's face even though he couldn't see it.

"We're on a diplomatic mission- Anakin! Focus!" Obi-wan snapped. Anakin, who had been thinking about flying again, sighed.

"Could you not? The fact you spend so much time wandering around my head is a little creepy" Anakin answered back. He turned his head to the seat of the clone flying the ship.

"I'm sorry, he isn't always like this." Anakin said to the pilot.

The clone answered with a simple "It's alright, sir." Causing Anakin to laugh again, and was about to return to his fantasy when Obi-wan's voice broke him away from it.

His master had turned in his seat, having unschackled his bindings, and was looking at Anakin directly.

"Listen Anakin. This is a diplomatic mission. We are here to prevent a war from occuring. War is the last thing the Empire needs right now. " Obi-wan turned away from Anakin and settled back in his place.

"I need you to be serious right now Anakin." Obi-wan sighed. Anakin made a Hmph sound, but otherwise remained silent. The only sound was the rumble of the transport's rusty old engines-awakened by over a decade of slumber. Anakin looked down and examined his hands- They had gotten soft.

I don't even remember the heat anymore..

How old had he been when he left Tatooine? nine? He was fifteen now, and in only six years, all the vestiges of his past life were almost gone.

Mother. The thought of her, like always, came out of nowhere, crashing down on him and breaking away his mental shield that hid his negative emotions.

She's still a slave. The guilt ate away at him rapidly, consumed him, and he let it, he didn't battle the pain as it racked his body.

He could feel his essence, his force begin to seep out of his body. Anakin could hear sharp cracks begin to pop from inside the ship.

Obi-wan was beside him in an instant.

"Anakin! Focus!" He said, his head close to Anakin's as the boy's tears fell freely. The clone pilot was oblivious to the entire event, simply handling the controls- ignoring Anakin, Obi-wan, and the slight destruction of the ship completly.

"What is the jedi code, Anakin?" Obi-wan asked.

Anakin remained silent.

"The code! Anakin!" Obi-wan urged.

Anakin felt ease come over him slowly, the whirling emotions coming under control.

"The Jedi are the guardians of peace in the galaxy..." He choked.

"We use our powers to defend.." Obi-wan started.

"Never to harm" Anakin finished.

"We serve.." Obi-wan goaded again.

"Though we have the power to rule." Anakin answered.

His negativity was gone now, completely erased- an eerie sense of calm and tranquility taking its place.

He smiled at Obi-wan.

"That's the second time I've almost destroyed a ship like that huh?" Anakin joked.

Obi-wan allowed himself a slight laugh. "You're a handful. But I wouldn't want another apprentince."

"Sir," The clone pilot said over them,

"We're approaching the blockade. I've sent out the message. They should be accepting us shortly." The clone reported. Obi-wan patted Anakin on the shoulder, his hand touching the cold metal of his seat restrictors- and gathered his robes around himself as he returned to his seat, not bothering to lock himself in. His eyes grew wide almost insantly as he saw what waited for them.

The Trade Federation blockade was massive. No, more than that. Obi-wan brought a hand to his mouth as he was at a loss for words- the once peaceful merchant ships had quickly been outfitted for aggresion. Obi-wan saw, with a slight dark humor, how the turbolaser canons jutted from Trade-Federation destroyers didn't match the ship's design.

In truth, all of their ships had this appearance- Streamlined and smooth, qualities Trade Federation ships were known for, save for the random cannon or missile launcher that was quickly grafted onto them. But despite their odd apperance- the firepower was there.

And it was deadly.

"Have they sent a message?" Obi-wan asked. The Pilot shook his head simply, his brown eyes focused on the fleet before him. Obi-wan guessed that even clones could be awed.

Obi-wan saw two gray specs detach from the fleet and come speeding towards them- what were once specs grew bigger and bigger, until he saw them in their full form a mere hundred feet away from his own shuttle.

Single-pilot fighters. The alarms in his mind went off instantly. If the Federation wanted them dead...

"Pilot, dedicate twenty-five percent of the ship's energy to shields. Thirty to weapons." Obi-wan said. The pilot simply nodded.

"Already done, sir. Weapons are ready should they try to attack." The pilot said with confidence.

"Anakin," Obi-wan called.

"Yes, Master?" Anakin asked.

"How are you feeling?" Obi-wan inquired.

"Hungry. And cold. I hope they feed us." Anakin joked.

Cold. Obi-wan had learned that whenever Anakin felt cold, bad things were going to happen. He braced himself for the worst.

The Federation fighters flew by them harmlessly.

"Master Kenobi, a message from the fleet." The Pilot said, his voice monotone.

A miniature blue man appeared before them, his arms crossed behind his back. High cheekbones, a small, thin lipped mouth, and dark eyes found themselves on the man's face.

He smiled.

"Ah, the Jedi delegation has arrived. We have been expecting you. Master...?" The man trailed off.

"Kenobi" Obi-wan finished.

"Ah! good. My name is Wilhuff Tarkin. Commander of the Federation...merchant fleet. The two ships you no doubt saw will see you to my capital ship, the Azure. Oh, and Master Kenobi, you can lower your shields and weapons." Tarkin said with a smile, and the blue image fizzled out and dissapeared.

The two fighters swung back around and flanked the imperial transport, and then slowly moving ahead of it- leading the transport deeper into the Federation blockade.

"It was a show of strength. He wants us to know he is in control here." Anakin said suddenly.

Obi-wan smiled, proud of his young apprentince. "I was thinking the same thing, Anakin. You're starting to think like a Jedi."

"That was the first smart thing you've said to me in the past six years, Master." Anakin replied, and Obi-wan could hear his smile in his words.

The transport lurched softly, and Obi-wan looked ahead to see their descent into the heart of the Federation fleet- of which the Azure was the heart. They climbed lower and lower, the massive destroyer, shaped like the human letter C, hung in space like a beast suspended in animation. Federation fighters- Which Obi-wan now saw were mobile transformers, crawled like spiders ontop the arms of the capital ship. They flew closer to one of the arms and saw as the docking bay shield doors grew dim and vanished.

As their transport slowed down and landed, Anakin whispered,

"Into the belly of the beast." With a slight smile. Obi-wan smiled too, unaware that what would occur here would be the first direct act of war against the Empire in over a decade.

bright_ephemera's Avatar

08.22.2012 , 10:28 AM | #2
Oh, I like this take on Anakin! (And I never seriously expected to say I liked anything about Anakin beyond the original trilogy...)

Do you have spell check available in your word processor? There were a number of typos, but your prose is otherwise solidly readable.
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Klannad's Avatar

08.22.2012 , 10:35 AM | #3
Hey thanks! and no...I should use chrome but I hate it. Sorry, English isn't my first language ahaha. But I will use chrome or google docs from now on. And thank you! expect the second chapter later today or tomorrow

Klannad's Avatar

08.22.2012 , 03:32 PM | #4

Anakin and Obi-wan waited as the Imperial Transport sluggishly dropped its loading ramp with a chorus of loud hisses. Obi-wan was fully robed, his hood obscuring his face, while Anakin was simply dressed in a plain tunic, his apprentice braid dangling from his cropped head.

"Anakin." Obi-wan said without looking at him.

"Yes, Master?" Anakin asked, now walking down the loading ramp.

"Think before your act. I don't want a repeat of what happened on Taris".

Obi-wan began his descent down the ramp, Anakin's laughter bringing his mind at ease. But there was something here. Lurking... And what's worse, he could tell it was hiding from him. But the subtle ripples it made in the force stood out to Obi-wan like lighting in the sky.

It reminded him of the war.

The Jedi who killed without mercy. Without regard for life.

It reminded him of the dark side.

"Master..." Anakin called, and Obi-wan awoke to his immediate surroundings. And once he looked around, he could see why Anakin was uneasy. They were greeted by an armada. Hundreds of sentient soldiers and even more war droids marched themselves into line and were taxied off the capital ship, and to Naboo below.

"What does this mean, Obi-wan?" Anakin said anxiously. Obi-wan could only shake his head, his eyes not believing what they saw. Naboo was Imperial territory. And sending a force like this- was an act of war.
They stood infront of their transport while the Azure's forces marched by them. Anakin looked to Obi-wan and smiled glumly.

"When the council asks, I'm telling them you did it." He joked. Obi-wan frowned, and pulled his hood down from his head.

"Now isn't the time, Anakin." He said quietly.

"Sorry Master. But, I must say your skin is flawless in this Trade Federation docking bay/invasion launchpad light." Obi-wan shook his head, nodding towards the silver protocol droid that was shuffling towards them.

"Hello Master Jedi, Tarkin sends his regards." The feminine metallic voice greeted.

"Pft. He couldn't send himself?" Anakin quipped. The droid paused- this kind of response not answerable with her limited programming.

"I-sorry-I- Come this way please." The droid said politely. Obi-wan and Anakin turned to each other, each one with question written on his respective face, and then followed the droid to wherever it was taking them.

"Why do they design them like this? They move so slow." Anakin muttered underneath his breath. Obi-wan didn't respond to him. He didn't even hear him. He was was back on Concord Dawn, surrounded by fields of burning crops and bodies. Behind him, the army of the Empire- Clone troopers clad in white armor, pushed the offensive, led by Jedi. He remembered the sight of his former masters cutting down innocents and combatant alike. He remembered how the force screamed in his mind. He wasn't ready for another war. Not yet.

And then suddenly, he recognized the feeling he had felt when he first landed on the ship, the presence that had tried to escape his notice.

It was Dooku.

Wilhuff Tarkin was a respected man. From one of the noblest families in Imperial space, he had taken his clan from Eriadu and into Federation territory. He was one of the first defectors from the Empire. He had risen in the ranks quickly, the non-military minded Federation merchants practically begging him to become their military commander. As such, he was behind the quick reconstruction of the once peaceful merchant ships, turning them into weapons.

And he had never felt better. Ale from Cato swam in his belly and rolled in his wine glass as he watched the Federation ships- His ships fly to Naboo. Everything was going as was planned. He turned from his view screen and looked at the diverse crew of alien and human workers studiously clicking away at nav-computers and weapon systems. He walked through their rows, sometimes pausing behind one worker, chuckling as they would begin to work faster than what was necessary.

This, This was progress. This was industry. And most importantly, this was money. What the Emperor and the high senate didn't understand is that war was necessary for the survival of the Empire-It was needed. Without War, the Empire would crumble apart and fall. The old founders and the Jedi understood this after Ruusan; turning the Republic into an Empire- Creating a government system that prospered, and has stood for over a thousand years.

But the golden days of the empire were over. And the Empire was dying. Tarkin was a visionary, and he saw what was happening. He knew what had to be done. History was made by the victor, and he refused to be on the losing side. The Federation as a military power was young now- But under his direction, in a mere six years they would be able to challenge the waning empire.

It was his destiny to destroy it. And from the ashes of Coruscant, he would create a new dynasty, and his sons and grandsons would rule the galaxy, fighting in wars, ending lives and gaining honor.

A smile touched his lips. He was writing history.


Wilhuff''s dreams were shattered at the sound of that cold, calculating voice. He noticed that even the methodical clicking noises from the crew had ceased. It was quiet on the bridge.

"Tar-kin." The voice called again. Wilhuff blinked quickly and walked down the bridge to meet Dooku, who was waiting for him at the Bridge-doors. The former Jedi was dressed entirely in black, a great contrast when compared to his pale skin. Dooku was old, but he didn't look a day past forty, with jet-black hair and complexion unaffected by time. Wilhuff didn't look bad for his age, but when compared to Dooku, he looked almost insignificant.

"Master Dooku, I had almost forgotten you were on board." Wilhuff said, grinding his teeth. Wilhuff's eyes then noticed Dooku's companion, and his heart shrank even further. The man, if it was a man, had a face entirely covered by artistic red and black tattoos. Stitched with an almost savage grace, the tattoos were jagged and sharp- bright and violent. A hood covered this beings face, resulting in the red color of the tattoos seeming to almost jump out from the darkness.

Dooku noticed Wilhuff's gaze.

"This is my...associate, Maul." Dooku said. Wilhuff gulped deeply and bowed to this new enigma.

"Greetings, Master Maul."

Once the word Master left Tarkin's lips, Maul's eyes had turned on the old commander instantly, his expression going from general disinterest to deep anger. Tarkin's heart sank as Maul suddenly reached for him with intense trained speed. The old man gasped, narrowly jumping away. But Maul was faster, already closing the distance between them and preparing another move. He caught Tarkin by the cuff of his collar and pulled him in close, so that he was inches away from Maul's face.

"I am no Master. I am no Jedi." Maul snarled. Tarkin nodded emphatically, too gripped by fear to respond.

Maul, satisfied, allowed his expression to soften, and he almost delicately returned Tarkin to a respectable standing position. Maul gracefully moved to his position by Dooku's side. Dooku, who was chuckling during the entire ordeal, clapped.

"Bravo, Tarkin. Bravo. I haven't been able to get that much emotion out of him since we met." Dooku began walked down the bridge, Tarkin and Maul taking up step to his left and right.

"Now, On to business. Tarkin, I see you have carried out my altered instructions-Which is good. The invasion needed to be sped up." He said simply. Tarkin nodded gratefully.

"It was hard convincing the Gunray and his associates to-" Tarkin began, before he was cut off by Dooku.

"Tarkin.. I have need to alter the deal. Again." He sighed. Tarkin stopped walking, watching as Dooku and Maul walked to the end of the bridge, looking out the view-screen at the swarming ships.

"What is it..Master Dooku?" Tarkin asked hesitantly.

Dooku sighed deeply. "We must immediately take military action on Naboo."


Tarkin reached for his collar, suddenly feeling like he wasn't getting enough air.

"Convincing Gunray to allow me to begin the invasion was hard enough as it is...and the Jedi..." Dooku and Maul both turned around at this.

"Jedi?" Dooku asked.

"Yes they have been sent by the empire to negotiate-" Tarkin trailed off as Maul stared at him with violent, yellow eyes.

"You know there can be no negotiations. Why am I just being told of this now?" Dooku asked.

"Gunray thought it was an internal affair..." Tarkin began.

Dooku swooped over to Tarkin with impossible speed. He brought up a pointed finger to Tarkin's chest, and placed it firmly by the old man's heart.

"There are no internal affairs. Deal with gunray, deal with the Jedi, and carry out my master's orders as they are given to you." Dooku said.

Tarkin nodded, and Dooku, with Maul, left silently and wordlessly, like ghosts, leaving the bridge and Tarkin in shocked fear and rage.

Tarkin noticed the silence and looked around to see his crew was not working, but in the same state of shock as he.

"What are you fools doing? Get back to your duties!" he screamed, and almost instantly the sound of industry resumed. But Tarkin couldn't help but feel that he had been undermined. No, he knew he had been.

Well played, Dooku. He thought to himself.

But there are many roads on the path to power..

Tarkin almost forgot he had been holding a glass of wine. He finished it with a swig, and threw it on the ground, closing his eyes as the sound of even that simple destructive act eased his thoughts.

SveinEternity's Avatar

08.22.2012 , 04:10 PM | #5
Thank you for writing this! I really hated the prequels so I think is a good take on the subject. I like the way you are doing this with no Republic but an Empire and a Jedi Council. Creative idea! I can't wait to see whats next.
The Eternity Legacy

Klannad's Avatar

08.22.2012 , 05:41 PM | #6
Quote: Originally Posted by SveinEternity View Post
Thank you for writing this! I really hated the prequels so I think is a good take on the subject. I like the way you are doing this with no Republic but an Empire and a Jedi Council. Creative idea! I can't wait to see whats next.
Thanks! I thought it was a cool idea too! I'm oficially considering you my fan ahaha. Expect another chapter later tonight or early tomorrow!

Klannad's Avatar

08.23.2012 , 08:10 AM | #7

Obi-wan sat and looked at the food that surrounded Anakin with a frown.

foreign delicacies- sweetened meats and smooth wine. But he had no urge to eat- Unlike Anakin- Who had helped himself to not only two plates full but also Obi-wan's. But Obi-wan couldn’t help but smile at his naive but eager apprentice. He had grown well since Tatooine.

He had all but forgotten his anger. Anakin looked up from his plate with a mouth full of food, and smiled, showing Obi-wan perfectly white teeth tarnished with gushing foodbits.

“Anakin, you’re too old for that” Obi-wan sighed, putting a hand to his face- A habit, he realized, he had acquired when he first started training the boy.

Anakin laughed, gulping down his food and then taking a very generous drink of his wine- after which he put his glass down softly, patted his stomach, and laid back in his chair with his hands behind his head.

“You’re going to need to keep up your strength, master. Especially if they try to kill us or something.” Anakin said nonchalantly. Obi-wan didn’t respond, just stared ahead, looking at Anakin with a blank expression.

“...You do realize that, right? I mean- Tarkin doesn’t want to see us. They started the invasion. They’re going to try to kill us.” The young apprentice explained. But his master didn’t respond.

His facial expression didn’t change. Anakin sighed, and got up from the table, stretching his legs and walking to the wall of the suite. There were a few pleasing paintings on the wall, and though Anakin wasn’t exactly one for art, he did know a good piece when he saw one. He focused on one that caught his eye especially- It was a painting of a planet- deep green in color, almost similar to Naboo. He found himself smiling- He didn’t know why.

“I guess it’s a beautiful picture. The Federation has some taste.” He said. Anakin turned his head to look to see his Master, who was still sitting at the table- His face expressionless.

“Skark it, Kenobi.” Anakin muttered. He sat down on the floor, folding his legs, and began to meditate.

That was the only thing he could do, while he waited for Obi-wan to wake up from his nightmares.



“They’re going to kill us, Obi-wan!”



What is that smell?

burning skin?

Eighteen years ago. Stark Hyperspace war.

Obi-wan ran through the fields of Concord Dawn. He looked up to the red sky- Massive Imperial star destroyers hung in the lower atmosphere- throbbing rods of light coming from the ships and exploding on the ground below. He heard footsteps behind him. He turned while he ran to see them.

Clone Troopers.

He motioned them forward as he broke through the fields, ash smearing his face and his tunic. A militia of farmers met them- they were armed. Obi-wan, gasping for breath, began his speech- a statement that had been drilled into his mind the day before.

“I am A jedi representative of the Empire. If you lay down your weapons you will not be harme-”

A blaster shot zipped by his face and found itself crashing in the helmet of the first clone to push aside the crops to get through.

“No!” Obi-wan screamed as he ignited his lightsaber.

“You fools! They’re going to kill you!” He bellowed as the farmers released more shots at him and his clones. He weaved and turned, his blade flashing before his body like a round shield- No laser fire hit him.

Twenty clones now surrounding him, they raised their rifles- took aim- and fired. The militia returned fire, but the clones advanced on them, firing as they slowly marched forward. The farmers didn’t stand a chance. They all fell. Most died. As the clone troopers marched on to another settlement, Obi-wan walked by a youth who had been conscripted in the militia. a massive hole had sheared through his leg. It smoked and crinkled..

He was crying. Asking Obi-wan to save him.

To help.

“I’ll make it quick,” Obi-wan said. The youth cried louder and louder as Obi-wan raised his weapon, that symbol of peace and justice, and then brought it down.

Then it was silent.

He felt sick. But he was a Jedi. He had his duty. Just as the boy had his.

He vomited, then jogged after his clones.

Concord Dawn.



Maul watched as Dooku poked at a handheld device, the old former jedi entirely focused on the technology. He exhaled deeply and returned his attention to space.

He was never impressed by much of anything, but he did always feel awe when he saw the vast, dark expanse. Space reminded him of the embrace of the dark force. Cold. All powerful.


“He’s going to betray you, Dooku.” Maul said quietly. He placed a hand on the fibroglass view-screen, all that separated him from space. His space.

“Who? Tarkin? Gunray?” Dooku asked, still absorbed in his device.

“Both. All of them.” Maul answered simply. Dooku laughed, and pocketed his object, and rose from his seat, the clicking of his boots causing Maul to turn around to see him.

“Of course they will betray me. Us.” Dooku said.

“Then why do we not just kill them? They are useless.” Maul demanded.

So blunt, so un-diplomatic. Dooku thought to himself as he regarded the Zabrak. Maul had taken off his hood, the disgusting reality of his alien heritage visibly apparent- multiple white horns curving from his skull. He felt like he constantly had to hold in the desire to vomit whenever he was with the beast.

“Because they are useful to us now. Once they are no longer useful, which won’t be for much longer, mind you, they will be killed.” Dooku said, wiping his hands as if he had touched something dirty.

Maul scoffed. “Real servants of the Bogan have no need for foolish tools.” He spat.

He’s challenging me. Dooku thought with a laugh.

“My dear boy, I know more of the Sith, the dark side, the Bogan as you call it, than you.” Dooku placed his hands behind his back and walked towards Maul, who still stared at him, not backing down.

“You’re still a Jedi to the Empire. They still view you as an ally. You cannot serve two masters.” Maul fired back. But he didn’t raise his voice. His voice was barely louder than a whisper, but hinted of unimaginable rage and power.

“You are young, Maul. But even you know the first Sith were Jedi. When we numbered in the thousands-no, hundreds of thousands, all of us could trace our lineage to one rogue jedi, one disgruntled jedi scholar-” Dooku began.

“Don’t bring this up with me again. The Rule of Two is law. It cannot be removed.” Maul said simply.

Dooku sighed. He had tried convincing Maul, and his master the ultimate failure of the Rule of Two. There would never be enough Sith to adequately challenge the Jedi. And the fact that this beast, Maul, would inherit all of the secrets of the Sith while he, Dooku, who outclassed Maul in skill and intellect by right of human birth alone, would be forced to sulk around the outskirts of the Sith teachings-

It was madness. But Dooku was a planner. He would get what he wanted. He always had, and he will continue to do so. He would use Maul, and their shared master until they ran out of their use, and he would be the one to end them. And then nothing would be in his way to demolish the foolish Rule of Two.

But he had to wait. And he had to be careful.

“I have arranged for us to be removed from this ship. We’re going to Coruscant.” Dooku said.

“Coruscant? What...what of the Jedi?” Maul hissed. Dooku smiled thinly.

So single-minded. Short-sighted. “They have been on the ship for quite some time.” Dooku teased.

Maul bounded up to Dooku in a flurry of black cloth and yellow eyes. The Zabrak repressed the urge to grab Dooku, but stared him down venomously.

“The delegation has arrived?” Maul asked.

“Yes. I know where they are.” Dooku answered.

Maul was silent. And then he darted for the door. Dooku simply raised a finger- And Maul was frozen in his tracks.


“That...would be young sith friend.” Dooku warned. Maul grimaced, surrounded himself in hate, and broke free. Before Dooku could respond, Maul was already out of the room, letting his hate led him to where the Jedi were.

Dooku was speechless.

He summoned his holocom to his hand and phoned Tarkin. Immediately, the whelp answered.

“Yes, Dooku?” Tarkin said, bowing to the man.

“You have the Jedi in- Good. Lock them down. I will be there shortly.”

“Kenobi and his apprentice will not be leaving the suite, master Jedi.” Tarkin said respectfully, and fizzled out.

As Dooku was rushing out of the room, Tarkin’s words almost brought him to a halt.

Kenobi. Obi-wan Kenobi.

He smiled. Things were about to get much more interesting.

Klannad's Avatar

08.23.2012 , 10:35 AM | #8
AN (if the previous chapter read a little weird, it is because it was written on google docs and didn't translate very well...the next chapters will not be written on google docs. I hope you enjoy chapter 3, and expect chapter four later today or early tomorrow. Cheers)

Klannad's Avatar

08.23.2012 , 06:23 PM | #9

Anakin cracked his eyes open, stopping his meditation to see if Obi-wan had broken free of his nightmares.

Obi-wan sat with his hands in his head.

Well, it's better than nothing. Anakin thought to himself as he leaned backwards and jumped up to a standing position.

"Master?" Anakin called tentatively, looking at Obi-wan with cautious worry. His Master didn't move for a what seemed like hours, until finally he rose his head from his hands and smiled weakly and Anakin.

"I went out again?" Obi-wan asked.

"Yeah, you kinda did." Anakin shrugged with a smile.

" were born a few years after the war..." Obi-wan said trailing off. Anakin walked towards his master, putting a hand on his shoulder.

"Master...what happened? what happened to you?" Anakin asked.

Obi-wan simply shook his head.

"I can't tell you Anakin. Not yet." He said grimly.

"You don't trust me."

"No- Anakin-" Obi-wan began before he was cut off again by his apprentice.

"I know the whole dynamic thing between Masters and their students.. and I know I should show you respect. But there can't be any secrets between us. You don't have to carry whatever you're dealing with alone, Master." Anakin
stated confidently.

"You're like a father and a brother to me all rolled up in one. You're my family, Kenobi. You are the only thing I have." Anakin said. He smiled brightly down at his Master.

"Thank you Anakin.. but I can't..I can't just-" Before Obi-wan could finish speaking, loud clicks came from the door that separated them from the ship.

"Did they just...lock us in here?!" Anakin said with disbelief. Obi-wan went over to try the door.

"They did indeed." He said with a grimace.

"Those..two timing...skarking... sith's blood! they're actually going to kill us!" Anakin exclaimed.

Obi-wan was now more worried about Anakin than the current situation.

"Anakin! calm down. The last thing we want to do is lose our heads." Obi-wan smiled.

We also don't want another anger induced force storm.. Obi-wan thought. He remembered when he first landed on Tatooine with Qui-gon, and then finding Anakin...


No. No time for that now.

"Well, we're going to look at the situation we're in, and find out the best and most peaceful way out of it." Obi-wan said, and smiled as Anakin nodded in agreement.

Then the green smoke started pouring in the room.


"Kenobi..." Anakin hissed as he ignited his lightsaber.

"Relax" Obi-wan said, brandishing his own weapon.

Don't breath the air Obi-wan commanded Anakin, his voice reaching Anakin's mind.

The last image of Anakin that Obi-wan saw before the smoke overtook them was his face. He had his thumb on his forehead and rolled his eyes.

It meant Anakin obviously knew not to breath the air.

If we get out of this alive.. Obi-wan thought to himself,

I'm going to strangle that kid.


Klannad's Avatar

08.24.2012 , 10:14 AM | #10






Maul sped through the corridors of this space-prison, hiding his presence from Dooku and the Jedi, whoever they were, as he ran past alien, human, and droid. His mind was only focused on one thing-


He allowed his mind to dwell on the truths of their crimes during the Hyperspace War. The sound of his people screaming as clones, led by Jedi, masscared them all. It was on the ashes of Iridonia that his master found him, rebuilt him, made him a tool of revenge.

His master had promised he would be able to strike back at the Jedi soon. But he couldn't wait any longer. Not with them so close.

Just these Jedi.. He thought as he ran through the ship. His master would no doubt punish him for his actions, But Maul didn't care. This went beyond the enternal strife between dark and light. This was personal. This was so that his family could find solace in the afterworld- so that they could stop roaming the endless expanse... stop screaming in his mind...

"You! stop! stop!" A voice frantically called. Maul didn't listen, and he could hear blaster shots hurl at him from smoking barrels of Trade Federation marines. Without turning, he weaved and ducked, the shots missing him completely.

Save one.

His right leg instantly numbed and he stumbled over, a silent howl escaping his mouth.

Cannot be stopped. He swung his head over himself to see who had shot him.

A human dressed in a blue uniform flanked by six droids.


He opened his gloved hand in the direction of the company sent to arrest him and unleashed a torrent of blue lighting, releashing in the power of his fury. The human screamed as his skin melted from bone and his eyes boiled. The droids groaned as well as they were overloaded with a substance they once regarded as vital to their functions. He lifted the entire party with his mind while still firing them with lighting, and then hurled them against the wall of the corridor.

He had to move quickly. No doubt Dooku sensed his attack.

The numbness that began in his leg was spreading, and he released another round of lighting, but this time trained on himself. He bathed in the lethal energy, and then jumped to his feet- his affliction cured.

Jedi. He didn't know where they were. But Maul knew he was prepared to kill anyone, even Dooku, if they got in his way.


The gas was everywhere now. Obi-wan had slowed his breathing down, and hoped Anakin had done the same. He closed his eyes- He didn't need them.

The force saw for him.

He could see the room almost perfectly, as if he was looking about with his own natural eyes. He saw Anakin, his eyes closed, stumbling about the room, confused.

Anakin. Obi-wan called with his mind.

The young boy's face was immediately written over with an annoyed smile.

This is actually an elaborate door-opening dance. A hutt taught it to me. Anakin thought back to Obi-wan.

Obi-wan allowed himself a smile and approached the door. He could see past the massive metal barricade paritally- Droids and men had been stationed outside the room.

Anakin, I think they are going to open the door. Stay still.

Why don't we just cut it down? Anakin asked.

The thought occured to me. But we would be coming out of a small opening, unable to defend ourselves. We will have the element of suprise. They think we're dead. Or stunned.

The locks in the door gave way.

Anakin! Obi-wan projected, preparing himself.

"-They should be knocked out by now. OM-89, Are you finding any readings of cognitive function?" A young guard asked. The man turned his head to the droid, who's usually dark lenses began to glow red as it scanned the room.

"Rog-" It began, before being pushed into the wall behind it, shattering to pieces.

"Fire! Fire!" The young captian screamed, and his droids followed his command instantly, firing into the green smoke that was now seeping from the room and being pulled into the purification vents. Green laser bolts were abosrbed by the posionous smoke. Nothing moved.

And then two bright rays of light, blue in color, came shuffling into view.


"Fire!" The young commander said, but by the time his voice had left his mouth, half of his droids had been felled.

Damn Jedi.

Obi-wan pulled his lightsaber from the throbbing metal armour of a federation droid, swinging his blade back in order to defend his body from a flurry of laser blasts. The shots bounced from his sword, finding themselves in the bodies of the owners who held the guns.

He heard Anakin grunt behind him, and the young Jedi jumped over two droids, loosing them of their heads in the process. Now all that was left was the young human captain.

Anakin and Obi-wan both turned to face him, and the man had dropped his gun and was on his knees, glubbering for his life.

"P-please, I-..I had my orders!" He cried.

"Get out of here before I put my lightsaber where the sun don't shine" Anakin said, and the man nodded thankfully, getting up and running from them.

"Now we have to find a way out of here.." Obi-wan said.

But then he felt something.

And then heard a cry as the young man they had just released died.

"Master!..what is..what is that?" Anakin cried.

A crimson blade stuck out from the back of the captain's head, and a dark figure stood infront of the man's dying body.

The figure shook the body free of his weapon, and then flourished it above his head, revealing a second beam of lethal energy jutting from the butt of his weapon's long hilt.

Without a word, it charged.