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why are people so passive agressive?

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > Community Content
why are people so passive agressive?

Cathest's Avatar


Cathest
07.13.2012 , 08:11 AM | #1
i been working hard and finally got a armor i really like,

and my friend in my guild he KNOWS i really like this and i showed him and he's like "oh that doesnt look too bad."

also eveyrthign i say i do, he has to one up me

FlippinFlapJack's Avatar


FlippinFlapJack
07.13.2012 , 01:32 PM | #2
Only a Sith deals in absolutes. --Obi Wan Kenobi

CaptRavenous's Avatar


CaptRavenous
07.13.2012 , 02:47 PM | #3
Quote: Originally Posted by Cathest View Post
...my friend...
You must not be very picky about who you call friend.

Ignore him. You don't want a friend that's always trying to build themselves up by subtly tearing down others. People like that are not friends, they're parasites.

If you like your toon and what that toon is wearing, that's all that matters.

Don't rely on the comments of others for self-esteem boosts, or a pat on the back, you'll be disappointed most of the time.
THE GREYWALKER CONCLAVE- Master Zarchon Greywalker
HOUSE OF XARDOX - Darth Xardox

BEGEREN COLONY ROLE PLAY SERVER - west coast

vian's Avatar


vian
07.14.2012 , 08:46 PM | #4
Quote: Originally Posted by Cathest View Post
i been working hard and finally got a armor i really like,

and my friend in my guild he KNOWS i really like this and i showed him and he's like "oh that doesnt look too bad."

also eveyrthign i say i do, he has to one up me
<joke answer> We're not.</joke answer>

No, actually, some people can't stand it when someone is having a better time than they are. So they say deflating or dismissive things so you'll try harder to get their approval, or something. It's like negging. Don't fall for it, because it's a manipulative and crappy thing to do.

The important thing here is you worked hard and got a great set of armour and you look like a Boss in it. And if your 'friend' can't be happy for you, well, it sucks to be him. Or her.
Two blasters; no waiting!

Cerilynn's Avatar


Cerilynn
07.14.2012 , 09:23 PM | #5
This might sound odd, but was his response in text or voice?

I know I will say something along those lines as a complement. It doesn't sound like one in text, but it actually is. Imagine the person with a thoughtful look on their face and nodding while saying it with a positive tone in their voice.

Sometimes it means that the person wasn't expecting it to look good and was pleasantly surprised that it turned out better than they expected. (Personally, I'm often surprised when any MMO outfit looks really good. They usually have some quirk that makes me wonder what the artist was thinking. For example, the slave outfits, why are there TWO waistbands? For that matter, why is the loincloth part attached to the top? ... sorry, I'm getting off topic here.)

It also can be the person's culture.

If it annoyed you enough that you felt it necessary to post here, did you bother asking your friend for clarification?

If not, you might want to think about your own actions before calling out others as passive aggressive.

Also note that passive aggressive techniques sometimes aren't intended, but instead tend to feel to the person doing it as a more polite way of dealing with an issue. I know that I do it. I usually don't mean to, but I do.

Edit: - Sorry, I missed the bit about oneupmanship.

That also can be an innocent/unaware thing.

Sometimes it's a challenge, if I do better than you here, will that drive you to do better than me there? Who's going to be the first under the table from the beer?

Sometimes it's a self confidence thing, or rather lack thereof. I don't feel good about myself, so when you are going to show me how good you are, I need to point out how I'm better so I can feel good about myself. This one is especially true among teens.

So... in the end, there can be many reasons for both passive aggressive behavior and for oneupmanship. If you don't ask your friend, you may never learn why.

~ Cerilynn

Hxxr's Avatar


Hxxr
07.14.2012 , 10:58 PM | #6
'Not too bad' can equal 'pretty' once you consider mimic, intonation, etc.

Somthing obviously lost with written text.
Consider this and confront in a kind way to clear things up before turning to a third party.
A great deal of human grief comes from simple miscommunication.

And I you might want to look up the actual term 'passive agressive'.
Quote: Originally Posted by Rtwozero View Post
Just remember that combat logs only state mathamatical facts. They are not rude or arrogant.

Khalhazar's Avatar


Khalhazar
07.15.2012 , 05:38 AM | #7
This doesn't sound like a negative reaction to me. If somebody asks me how I'm doing IRL, I sometimes reply "Not too bad!". I don't mean that life is horrible and I'm scarcely holding on, I mean it as a colloquial synonym for "good".

Malles's Avatar


Malles
07.15.2012 , 06:28 AM | #8
Quote: Originally Posted by Cathest View Post
i been working hard and finally got a armor i really like,

and my friend in my guild he KNOWS i really like this and i showed him and he's like "oh that doesnt look too bad."

also eveyrthign i say i do, he has to one up me
Here's a stupid question.

Did you talk to them about it?
I used simple happy language words to help you understand.
Why yes, I have been a proud SWTOR Community member since August 2011. Why, wanna fight about it?