Here's a place we can talk about those areas of the game where things feels unrealistic, but for gameplay reasons we all grow to accept. To have some fun, it's in the form of characters talking about such things at the cantina, wondering why their world doesn't quite seem normal.

 

Please don't bash each other or Bioware. Let's keep it light.

 

I'll start . . .

 

(overheard at the Dealer's Den)

Monnassa (consular): "Hey Zerpa, I have a confession to make. You know how Jedi's are supposed to kill only when necessary, how unnecessary killing leads to the dark side?"

Zerpa (jedi knight): "Of course."

Monnassa: "Well, there are times when I feel compelled to kill *everything* in the room. It's like I can't stop until they're all dead. Sometimes I need to keep going into the next room and kill everyone there too."

Zerpa: "I thought I was the only one! I even started counting them, feeling guilty, trying to cut down. You know what I found? My need to kill usually goes away after a round number, like 30 or so. Weird."

 

---

(overheard at Silent Sun)

Nel'quen (smuggler): "I swear, everyone on this planet is both nearsighted and deaf. Not that I'm complaining, but I'll be walking down the middle of a well-lit room, with bad guys on both sides, jumping up and down, and no one hears me."

Kasmar (trooper): "Tell me about it. Even when you do that thing where you shoot coins while you're reloading, no one hears it. Guess that's good for us."

Edited May 2, 2012 by Teefal

Master Yuon: "Padawan, I've received some disturbing news that you murdered some Twi'lek settlers! How could you?"

 

Darkside Consular : "Well, they would have came for me again later if I let them live... besides, they kind of bugged me."

 

Master Yuon: "Oh no Padawan, we all have to make hard choices, but those people are dead. That choice can never be undone.... anyway, back to the mission for that Datacron!"

 

Darkside Consular: *thinks to himself* "Wow.. I just saw some dude released from being a padawan for lying to his master about lifting a boulder and yet I just got away with murder! I must be a boss."

Trooper: 'Kay boss, we just killed ANOTHER bad guy for ya... Ready to deploy to the next planet with the next bad guy!

 

Garza: Meet me on Coruscant to talk about it.

 

Trooper: ... I was just talking about the bad guy, saying the bad guy's name and location over this channel JUST a second ago, the bad guy you don't want anyone knowing about, and yet, you want me to go over all the way to Coruscant, take my speeder all the way to the Senate Tower, then RUN through teh senate tower and go to your office, just so we can talk about my next mission when we COULD be doing it here and now?

 

Garza: ... I'm feeling lonely.

How about this scenario that just seems to keep repeating itself:

 

Random NPC: "Freeze! Surrender to the <faction>!"

PC: "<Insert remark of how it is a bad idea to cross him or her>"

Random NPC: "Nonsense! We have you outnumbered! LEEEEROOOOOYY JEEEEENKIIIIIN!"

*battle ensues, all NPCs but the talking guy dies*

PC: "<I told you so>"

Random NPC either begs for mercy, dies or begs for death.

PC stands with LS or DS choice.

 

Seriously it happens like... All the time! You would think they would learn at one point and just run for their lives.

These are great!

 

Found a web comic that has several real-life/gameplay jokes as well:

 

http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=168785

(during an NPC mob fight)

 

Ogg: (smash Jedi tank) "Hey Grogg, you see that guy in the back waving his arms every so often?"

 

Grogg: (smash Jedi tank) "Yeah."

 

Ogg: (smash Jedi tank) "You see how this magical glow comes out of his fingers and then this guy we're bashing seems to get stronger each time."

 

Grogg: (smash Jedi tank) "Yeah."

 

Ogg: (smash Jedi tank) "Do you think it's important? Should one of us attack that arm-waving guy?"

 

Grogg: (smash Jedi tank) "Nah."

Edited May 8, 2012 by Teefal

Padawans to Jedi Knight: you aren't going to tell our instructors about our relationship? They will send us to different locations and we will never see each other again?

JK: I have to. Relationships are forbidden. (light Side point)

 

Jedi to Jedi knight: I loved her. You can't tell the council. They will seperate us and keep us apart!

Jedi Knight: I have to. You can't keep secrets from the council. (light side point)

 

Kira to Jedi Knight: you know they will not condone our relationship!

Jedi Knight: we won't tell anyone.

Teefal led me here. This could be.......interesting.

A graphical depiction of the RP/RL interactions of how I think some of the Boss characters would act during a Boss' Summit with Bioware!

 

http://www.theminionslayers.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/boss-summit.png

(at the slippery slopes)

 

Monnassa, Jedi sage: "Hey Zerpa, you know that magic pocket we both have that holds our entire speeder when we start walking?"

 

Zerpa, Jedi knight: "Yeah, it's great. I love how it holds our companions too while we're using the speeder."

 

Monassa: "Yeah, Qyzen hates it. Well I was thinking, why is it my arms get full when I'm holding a dozen bacterial samples?"

 

Zerpa: "Well, another magic pocket would cost you another $30,000 credits."

 

Monassa: "Come again?"

 

Zerpa: "You thought that speeder license cost all that? No, it was $5k for the license and $30k for the pocket."

 

Monassa: "Ah."

Edited May 16, 2012 by Teefal

(while walking the Tatooine dunes)

 

Nel'qen: "You know Kasmar, I think my companions are holding out on me."

 

Kasmar: "Why?"

 

Nel'qen: "I send them on a mission to another freaking planet, and they come back in 3 minutes. I mean, I can't even get across a single quadrant of this map and There They Are"

 

Kasmar: "Yeah, I've always thought that was odd."

 

Nel'qen: "You think they've just got a crate of junk hidden somewhere and they run off to get a "rare" artifact."

 

Kasmar: "Or a local goodwill store."

 

Nel'qen: "Exactly."

JK ; "Well, we fought our way through this huge underground labrynth to shut down the Czerka Project, and your help was invaluable. Good job, Kira !"

 

Kira; "Thanks boss, and thanks for saving me when I went down."

 

JK; "No problem. You must be exhausted. Tell you what, instead of walking all the way back to the surface, I'll just call a shuttle to pick us up... here... deep underground...?"

Master Ashlian (eyeing Lt. Iresso a little uneasily): Felix, sweetie....I know, I do, after all the Empire did to you, your time on Hoth, your nightmares, not even going into that actual nightmare I dragged you into on Voss.....but darling.....it's the FLEET! And that Republic trooper over there has been staring at us for ten minutes now. Do you think you might, um....put up your rifle? You're disturbing the citizens.....

Bugtown, Balmora

The front lines; fighting the bugs.

 

Trooper #1: "Hey Arti... how many of these damn bugs are there anyway? They just keep coming and coming."

 

Tropper #2: "Don't know, but ... there is at least that many Jedi. Freaking Bugtown is infested with them."

Edited May 20, 2012 by Rafaman

Fleet Cantina

 

Charn the Trooper: "Sometimes people surprise me. I mean, I don't know how many times I've been a hair away from death, lying on the floor, and the guy trying to kill me just stands there."

 

Anda the Smuggler: "I know, don't these people poke things with sticks?"

 

Charn the Trooper: "Hey, I'm not complaining. Gives me a chance to catch my breath, let the bleeding slow...then I jump back up and take the sucker out."

 

Anda the Smuggler: "Still...you'd think they'd pay attention to vital signs a bit more...."

Bartender in any Cantina: Have a seat, enjoy yourself!

 

Me: I only really feel comfortable sitting in a taxi, my speeder, or on the bridge of my ship. However, I will kneel while standing on one of your tables if you don't mind.

 

Bartender: Ok,,,,,,,,

The same cantina.

 

Trooper #1: "So, we ran across these Imps protecting the droid factory, right? Four or five of them. Not very bright from the looks of it as they were oblivious to the fighting around them. So, me and my partner cut loose. I mean, really pounded them with grenades, mortar, the works. And when the smoke cleared two of them had died standing up! They were completely dead, but they were standing up guns drawn! We looted the bodies and proceed to the next objective but it was very weird. How do you die like that? "

 

Bartender: "Its not that weird. Nobody coming in here ever sits down in a chair. Seriously, what is wrong with you people?"

Edited May 25, 2012 by Rafaman

[On my ship the Mantis, in deep space]

 

me: ok team, gonna hand out some loot. Meet me at the storage locker.

<cricket cricket>

me: Guys?

me: Torian, can you walk 10ft closer to me, I have a new helmet for you...

me: HELLO! Why are you all just standing around? Why is no one talking to me?

me: Fine....next time you have that upside-down triangle over your head, don't expect me to talk to you

 

another:

[at any vendor in the galaxy]

me: I really like that rifle, I wish I didn't have to sell it.

Vendor: keep it. it is valuable and you can really do some damage with it.

me: I wish I could, but I feel compelled to only use a single blaster. Not to mention that I am left-handed, but since my flame-thrower can only be installed on my left arm, I have to fire my blaster off-handed. Thank the gods, my shield turns on 1/3 of the time, so that I actually have a shot at hitting something without getting killed.

Edited May 25, 2012 by fallenjedi