Luke, I got in before you, and I am your Father!!!

Luke: [approaching R2-D2] I can't do it, R2. I can't wait for the final early access wave.
Obi-Wan: [from out of sight] Yoda and I will always be with you, since we forgot to pre-order before December.
Luke: Obi-Wan.
[Obi-Wan's spirit approaches Luke]
Luke: Ben! Why didn't you tell me? You told me that Darth Vader moved back to Germany and pre-ordered a collectors edition and wouldn't receive it until the 20th in addition to betraying and murdering my father.
Obi-Wan: Your father... was seduced by the Dark Early Access Side of the Force. He ceased to be Anakin Skywalker and "became" Darth Vader when he secretly pre-ordered through EAOrigin. When that happened, the good man who was your father was destroyed. So what I told you was true... from a certain point of view.
Luke: A certain point of view?
Obi-Wan: Luke, you're going to find that many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own point of view. Anakin was a good friend, although he did hack into my WOW account once and liquidate all of my sweet gear to sell through a Chinese gold farming website. However, when I first met him, your father was already a great pilot. But I was amazed how strongly the Force was with him. I took it upon myself to train him as a Jedi. I thought that I could instruct him just as well as Yoda who is patiently waiting to buy a copy from Frys on the 20th and then slowly walk home over several days before installing his copy. I was wrong.
Luke: There is still good in him.
Obi-Wan: He's more machine now than man. His mind is twisted and evil, hellbent on grabbing a server first to lvl 50 and collecting all the unique schematics before everyone else has a chance.
Luke: I can't do it, Ben.
Obi-Wan: You cannot escape your destiny. You must wait until the final access wave goes out before you face Darth Vader again.
Luke: I can't kill my own father unless I can get on the best pvp server and level up before all of his poison-hearted guildmates purge me.
Obi-Wan: Then the Emperor has already won. You were our only hope. But if you are too much of a pansy to overcome a few days headstart all is lost.
Luke: Yoda spoke of another.
Obi-Wan: The other he spoke of is your twin sister.
Luke: But I have no sister, she was lost long ago in a freak Sims accident leaving her in coma of perpetual lameitude.
Obi-Wan: Hmm. That was a lie. To protect you both from the Emperor, you were hidden from your father when you were born. The Emperor knew, as I did, if Anakin were to have any offspring, they would be a threat to his dominance of PvP ladders and Warzones. That is the reason why your sister remained safely anonymous.
Luke: Leia! Leia is my sister.
Obi-Wan: Your insight serves you well. Bury your feelings deep down, Luke. They do you credit, but they could be made to serve the Emperor.

(Non-Sequitor DragonAge I totally blows Skyrim out of the water god skyrim drags)