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It's not me! It's you! A guide to SWTOR PVP

STAR WARS: The Old Republic > English > PvP
It's not me! It's you! A guide to SWTOR PVP

xakto's Avatar


xakto
02.08.2012 , 01:44 PM | #1
EXAMPLE SCENARIOS WHERE THIS GUIDE IS APPLICABLE
Have you just lost yet another WZ?
Were you just ROCKED in a 1v1 fight?
Has your team just failed you in a real or perceived way?
Did you just get stunned in the fire again!?

SOLUTION - A 10 STEP GUIDE TO HAPPINESS
If you answered yes to any of the above questions please DO NOT consider the possibility that you are not quite as good as that other guy. That can NEVER BE!. Instead go ahead and proceed with the guide below:

Step 1: Resist the urge to smash your keyboard through your monitor

Step 2: Immediately start typing in the ops group chat informing your teammates how terrible THEY are and how its their fault you are losing/have lost.

Step 3: Make sure you do step 2 as SOON as possible. Preferably at the first sign that you might have to try too much to come back and win.

Step 4: Take a moment to consider a good ol' fashioned rage quit at this time. (If {rage quit = yes, then skip to step 6};)

Step 5: Smash your fists on your desk fight at the farthest possible spot from objectives or otherwise help the other team win for the rest of game.

Step 6: Immediately login to the forums

Step 7: Immediately ignore the thousands of posts which may be similar to yours; after-all your opinion matters more.

Step 8: Immediately revert to "schoolyard" behaviour ideally with the maturity level of a 5 year old.

Step 9: *Important! Make sure your forum post is built upon the premise that (a) The Game is Bad (b) That "insert here" class is OP and clearly is the source of your problem (c) BW is clearly working against you and there IS a conspiracy (d) Make claims about how you will only continue playing until your sub runs out. I assure you ppl will care.

Step 10: Immediately log back into the game and continue playing but be sure to visit the forum often there is always an opportunity to find more players like you who can help reassure you that it really isn't YOU its "insert excuse here"

A SUMMARY
Once you have followed this handy 10 step guide to happiness you will find yourself feeling better about who you are as a person. You will thrive on the knowledge that there are others like you having the same problem as you and following this very same guide! This new found comfort will mend that broken heart of yours and reestablish some of that pride you might have lost earlier. Just remember under NO circumstances it is EVER acceptable to seek to improve your abilities. Never study your class and other classes. Never consider how each of the 8 classes has to be dealt with differently. Never ever look up video's, learn from mistakes, get more gear, talk to others who might appear to be better than you or otherwise TRY HARDER. Because, come on, clearly there is an explanation for why they APPEAR to be better. (Glitches, Bugs, Gear, OP Class).

Just remember there is NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO IMPROVE YOUR SITUATION! BLAME BIOWARE! OCCUPY WALLSTREEET!!!! YEAHHHH !!!

Vales's Avatar


Vales
02.08.2012 , 01:47 PM | #2
Well put.
This game needs more Kel Dor!

Bnol's Avatar


Bnol
02.08.2012 , 01:48 PM | #3
The OP is full of win.
Jack'Bauer - 50 Medic Operative - Wound in the Force
Bnol - 50 Shield Tech/AP Hybrid Powertech - Wound in the Force
Bnoll - 50 Combat Medic Commando - Wound in the Force

Tyranoc's Avatar


Tyranoc
02.08.2012 , 01:50 PM | #4
Im so posting this link into tall the carebear threads full of noob tears and cries of "ITS NOT FAIR!!"

Imer's Avatar


Imer
02.08.2012 , 01:51 PM | #5
Fantastic.

MiaRB's Avatar


MiaRB
02.08.2012 , 01:51 PM | #6
lol great post.
can't wait for this game to come out!

bakedpotter's Avatar


bakedpotter
02.08.2012 , 01:52 PM | #7
Thank you sir, I was hoping someone would finally validate my thoughts with an OFFICIAL guide. Sticky this man please.

EmperorDarkstar's Avatar


EmperorDarkstar
02.08.2012 , 01:54 PM | #8
OP knows wats up

shaidarlol's Avatar


shaidarlol
02.08.2012 , 01:57 PM | #9
stop trolling op, nerf sorcs/sages

Delavager's Avatar


Delavager
02.08.2012 , 02:00 PM | #10
Quote: Originally Posted by shaidarlol View Post
stop trolling op, nerf sorcs/sages
You followed the guide, congratulations!!

Win post OP.