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Do any of you remember The Church of BioWare Positivity?


TheBBP

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I found the original message over on DH forums...

 

 

 

 

Fray-yends, relatives and BioWare fans from around the world, welcome to the Church of BioWare Positivity.

 

Praise Muzyka and Zeschuk, who will be known as Muzchuk from here after, that we can all gather in the name of their works.

 

This church is founded on the belief that BioWare can do NO wrong. The Lords Muzchuk have sent before us many quality gaming experiences. They surely will continue their fine tradition of unparalleled greatness.

 

Any who desire to bask in the light that is BIOWARE POSITIVITY is welcome to do so. We do not discriminate by race, creed, color or noobness for we can all be equally positive!

 

Should your light dim or dare almost become extinguished please understand that BioWare Positivity will always overcome any darkness.

 

REMEMBER! The light of BioWare Positivity will keep you through the darkness... or at least until thy Release Date is revealed!

 

Please do NOT forget to honor the now-gone Prophet Dahlberg.

 

 

 

 

Please do not let us forget Holy Fridays and the Friday Vogel.

 

Our Vogel, who art in Texas,

Hallowed by thy game.

Thy servers come,

Thy will be done,

In Austin as it is in Edmonton.

 

Give us this day our Friday update,

And forgive us our troll-posts,

As we forgive those who troll against us,

And lead us not into development hell,

But deliver us from WoW.

 

For thine is the GD, OT and CC forums, for ever and ever.

 

Amen.

 

 

 

When the light gets dim and the darkness seems like it may prevail, do not hesitate to witness the CGs From on High so that your light may be replenished.

 

 

Brothers and Sisters of the Church of BioWare Positivity, tonight's sermon is about doubt. Now I know we've all had doubts, at some time or another. But Brothers and Sisters, the doubts you have are of evil intent, thoughts sent to you from the anti-seans and their heathens. The seeds of deceit, the shadows they create, are NOT, I say NOT, the will of Muzchuk.

 

When they say "Thy animations are too cartoony" you say "NAY, for it is the will of Muzchuk!"

When they say "Shall we rid of the Fan Fridays" you say "NAY, for it is the will of Muzchuk!"

When they say "Have you thoughts of the release date" you shall say "NAY, for it is the will of Muzchuk!"

 

These, my brothers and sisters, are temptations of the Anti-BeeDubs. But fear not! For Muzchuk's holy beacon of BioWare shall radiate down and reveal all when the time is right.

 

For I say unto you, did not Muzchuk give you the Bounty Hunter's flamethrower of righteousness!? Did not Muzchuck show you the CG from On High!? Did not Muzchuck reveal the planets, and the trooper, and the Dev Blog!?

 

Praise the Community Managers and their updates! Praise the Donna and her cats of ever-loling! Praise the Yellow Word, as it is the word of the Prophets! Praise Muzchuk!

 

But most of all, praise your brothers and sisters. Yes, in dire times such as the the hour of torment (also known as 3pm EST), your fellow members of the Church can help you see the light. They will remind you of the greatness of Muzchuk. They will remind you of the Yellow Words, and their infallibility. They will tell you of their doubts, and how they were washed away by the Almighty Muzchuk. And sometimes, they even bring cookies.

 

So for tonight, I ask that when you have your doubts, look to your brothers and sisters for guidance. For they have seen the light, and they will bring you back, to the warmth and glow of the Yellow Words.

 

Praise Muzchuk! Amen.

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the ten commandments of the church of bioware positivity

 

 

 

i i shall believe in bioware no matter what the content of the friday update

 

 

 

ii- i shall believe in bioware no matter the lack of release date

 

 

 

iii- i shall believe that all game play and story decisions are in the best interests of the congregation

 

 

 

iv- i shall hope for a major announcement, but be gracious on fan fridays

 

 

 

v- i shall talk about bioware in a positive light at all times

 

 

 

vi- i shall not underestimate the decisions of those with authority

 

 

 

vii i shall not covet the game mechanics, economy, or graphics from other games

 

 

 

viii- i shall not hold any other game above the old republic

 

 

 

ix- i shall honor thy fridays and keep them holy

 

 

 

x- i will do my best not to anger they who type in yellow

 

Edited by TheBBP
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Brothers and Sisters, we have had our doors closed for a time too long. It is time to once again re-open these proud doors and reign in our flock. I , TheBBP, acting as the Self-Ordained Reverend of the Church of BioWare Positivity am here to welcome you all.

 

Now, can we get a little church up in here?

 

 

 

As the original flock and leadership have scattered to the four winds, we now are accepting self-nominations for these positions.

 

The Church of BioWare Positivity

 

Reverend: BigBaldPapa

 

Associate Pastors:

AphoticCosmos

JediMasterLepras

Meesh

GamerTom

Veeko

Youth Pastor: MrJeeves

 

PVE Counselor: AubinMagnus

PVP Counselor: Meriak

Roleplay Counselor: Reapyr

PC vs Mac Counselor: Bill Gates

Church Organist/Holy Friday Brownie Maker: Elmyst

 

Band Members:

Century

JediMasterLepras

AphoticCosmos

 

The Choir:

Anny

Yunie

Ushers:

SkyBrod

Yunie

Anny

Century

 

Janitor: Soledad

Sobchak:

Sobchak

Edited by TheBBP
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Somehow, I think if Jurgens entered this thread, he would burst into flames, metaphorically and possibly quite literally.

 

If anyone takes this stuff seriously on any level....

 

I have no words.

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Hah! Definitely remember this and there are some names there I haven't seen in a long time.

 

Also, gotta love the mention of Krakken's epic BBY post in that Wiki!

 

Indeed. "Before the Birth of Yoda" still brings a smile.

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(Shamelessly stolen from someone on the SWTOR subreddit)

Episode 12:42:

And the Devs said, "Thy bringith the golden age of ToR. The golden age of prosperity thy Devs wanted at launch." But the beast known as EA took from man, the glory that was a complete ToR. But man was resillient. Through his enduring fanboyism and perseverence, Devs provided man with the holy land. And holding hands, open to non believers and haters alike, walked to the garden of F2P, wallets bursting with cash for Cartel Tokens and subs, and hearts filled with love.

 

Please bow your head for prayer.

 

Our Devs, who arte in Austin. Bioware be thy name. Thy MMO come, thy content will be done, in SWTOR better than it is at Blizzard. Give us this day, our daily quests, and forgive us for doubting. As we have forgivin your haters. And lead us not in to pay to win, but deliver us from boredom. In our Devs name we pray.

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(Shamelessly stolen from someone on the SWTOR subreddit)

Episode 12:42:

And the Devs said, "Thy bringith the golden age of ToR. The golden age of prosperity thy Devs wanted at launch." But the beast known as EA took from man, the glory that was a complete ToR. But man was resillient. Through his enduring fanboyism and perseverence, Devs provided man with the holy land. And holding hands, open to non believers and haters alike, walked to the garden of F2P, wallets bursting with cash for Cartel Tokens and subs, and hearts filled with love.

 

Please bow your head for prayer.

 

Our Devs, who arte in Austin. Bioware be thy name. Thy MMO come, thy content will be done, in SWTOR better than it is at Blizzard. Give us this day, our daily quests, and forgive us for doubting. As we have forgivin your haters. And lead us not in to pay to win, but deliver us from boredom. In our Devs name we pray.

 

Stolen or not, that is the tone of this fun. As the self-ordained Reverend of the Church of BioWare Positivity, I will allow it.

Edited by TheBBP
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This thread reminded me of something else...

 

 

"Behold!

He is coming with the clouds.

And every eye should be blind with his glory.

Every ear should be stricken deaf to hear the thunder of his voice.

Let the men, women and children of the earth to come forth to gather and behold the power of atom.

Let those who dwelled here in this favoured land, attend now to the word to the profit of atom.

Come forth and Drink the waters of the glow.

For this Ancient weapon of war, is our salvation, it is the very symbol of Atom's glory.

Let it serve as a reminder of the division that has occured in the past.

And the resplendence of the promise of our division in the times to come.

Give your bodies to Atom my friends.

Release yourself to his power! Feel his glow, and be divided.

There shale be no tears, no sorrows, no suffering

For in the division we shale see our release from the pain and hard ships of this world.

Yay, your suffering shall exist no longer, it shall be washed away! In Atom's glow.

Burned from you in the fire of its brilliance.

Each of us shall give birth to a billion stars form from the mass of our reched and filthy bodies.

Each of us shall be mother and father to a trillion civilizations.

Each of us shall know peace, and know an end to pain, and shall know atom in his glory.

I urge you my friends come drink with me and prayyyyy.

Glorious atom I give on to you these febble bones, I present to your will this frail body."

 

-Confessor TheBBP- *Cromwell*

 

 

:D

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