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The adventures of Forced Companions Daycare


bright_ephemera

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What were the subjects at the debate championships of Yn and Chabosh, I wonder?

 

It's difficult to say. Khem Val kept extensive notes, of course; but he used exactly the same argument in every debate he participated in, namely, he would fill the allotted time slot minus ten seconds with talking about how amazing Tulak Hord is, then conclude with "Agree with me or Tulak Hord will kick your *** and I will devour your essence."

 

Generally speaking, his cross-examination and rebuttal segments consisted of "Tulak Hord will kick your *** for claiming these stupid things."

 

This did earn Khem Val a name for consistency, but it means we can't infer any information whatsoever about the actual debate topics from his notes.

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10 minute sketch of recess time in daycare:

 

http://i837.photobucket.com/albums/zz293/Crezelda/torbabies.jpg

 

edit: also where is baby blizz when theyre taking apart the droids?!

Edited by Crezelle
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10 minute sketch of recess time in daycare:

 

<snip>

 

edit: also where is baby blizz when theyre taking apart the droids?!

 

...embedded images! And it's adorable! And poor, poor Vector!

 

Sadly I don't know the Consular or Bounty Hunter companions. Skadge is easy when I want a bully, but the rest I know pretty much zero about. Which is a shame, because I suspect Baby Blizz would be amazing if only I were comfortable with how he thinks and talks.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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A question, since I don't really know the protocol: If marvelous sketches of chibi daycare companions keep showing up, is it appropriate to put up a thread in the Fan Art section? And if so, does art get crossposted, or posted there and linked from the opening post here, or...is anybody familiar with a good way to do this?

 

Because I am loving the drawings :D

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A question, since I don't really know the protocol: If marvelous sketches of chibi daycare companions keep showing up, is it appropriate to put up a thread in the Fan Art section? And if so, does art get crossposted, or posted there and linked from the opening post here, or...is anybody familiar with a good way to do this?

 

Because I am loving the drawings :D

 

Sure why not, Fan Art and Fan Fic should go hand in hand. I think linking to the opening posts would be good enough. I was wondering if I should draw in the legs of the "caretakers" to show the whole rugrat/baby perspective. I'm not sure I want to draw Khem Val legs though, those things are scary.

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Fan art thread up! http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=507694 I'll be sure to link to this on the fic's front post.

 

 

Aw... no Consular companions :(

 

Alas, I haven't played Consular or BH - couldn't really get into them. Skadge is an easy target, so I can write him in, but the other nine companions there are mysteries to me.

 

I have a notion for Qyzen Fess. But he may have to wait.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.

 

 

BABY CORSO: Mister Khem Val! Mister Khem Val! Can we go outside?

KHEM VAL: Why would you do this?

BABY CORSO: It’s wicked nice. Look! The sun’s out and there are hardly any big fanged monsters nearby!

KHEM VAL stares at BABY CORSO with a perfect sabacc face.

BABY CORSO: It’s sunny. And nice. And sunny!

KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE exchange looks.

LORD SCOURGE: Is this a good thing?

BABY CORSO: Well…yeah. Sunlight is happy and nice.

KHEM VAL: Is this a good thing?

BABY CORSO: I hate Tuesdays. I want T7 back.

KHEM VAL: I’ve not heard such whining since the bar shut down at Yn and Chabosh.

BABY XALEK: Mister Lord Scourge. I humbly request that we get to go play outside.

LORD SCOURGE: It’s Lord Scourge, you idiot. I don’t need Mister. I keep telling you that.

BABY XALEK: Yes, Mister Lord Scourge.

LORD SCOURGE: Get out of my sight.

BABY XALEK: Yay!

BABY XALEK sprints out, picks a few daisies, admires them in the sunlight, smiles broadly behind his mask, then realizes other people might see him. He pops the daisies’ heads off and snarls dramatically to demonstrate his bad***ery.

BABY KALIYO strolls out to the yard carrying a magnifying glass.

BABY KALIYO: I love sunny days.

BABY VECTOR sits on the grass next to where BABY CORSO has flopped on his back, looking at the sky.

BABY VECTOR: Days like this remind us of our home planet. Did you see such beauty where you’re from?

BABY CORSO: You realize there’s only one of you, right?

BABY VECTOR: What?

BABY CORSO: Never mind. Ord Mantell had pretty days, sure. The sun was usually hidden behind a fine mist of bullets with a slight haze of continuous blaster fire and the screams of the wounded, but it was pretty in its own way. BABY CORSO pauses and frowns. Kind of.

BABY VECTOR: Perhaps Forced Companions is a safer place for you.

BABY CORSO: Oh, definitely.

BABY KALIYO: Hey, Vector! Lookit!

BABY VECTOR and BABY CORSO go over to where BABY KALIYO is hunched over an anthill. She centers the magnifying glass to fry ants one by one as they flee the nest she is poking.

BABY VECTOR: We keep forgetting that you never call us over to see nice things.

BABY KALIYO: You realize there’s only one of you, right?

BABY VECTOR: What?

BABY KALIYO: Never mind. Look, if I corral ‘em with twigs I can roast three or four at once.

BABY XALEK, wandering over: Pretty resourceful, for a Force-blind.

BABY XALEK starts intercepting the panicked ants with little sparks of Force lightning.

BABY KALIYO: Hey, quit it! These ones are mine! Get your own!

BABY KALIYO runs around to start focusing the sunlight on BABY XALEK’s neck. BABY XALEK flicks little sparks of Force Lightning at BABY KALIYO.

BABY KALIYO: Ooh, scary. If I had hair it might be standing up right now, but you’re not even having that much effect.

BABY VECTOR, sadly: Forced Companions is not a safer place for most of us.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.

 

 

BABY JAESA is, as usual, paralyzed by indecision.

BABY JAESA: Doc, you gotta help me. There’s a toy car, and there’s a toy boat. And I don’t know what to play with.

BABY DOC: You could come play with me. We could smooch.

BABY JAESA: That doesn’t sound very appealing at all. Come on, I’ve gotta choose something. If I choose wrong, there’s no going back.

BABY DOC: Smooches first.

BABY JAESA: I’m not sure that’s a good idea.

BABY DOC: You’re not sure anything is a good idea, beautiful. It’s part of what makes you so cute. Smooches?

T7-01: Baby Doc = acting out // SCORPIO = give him a talking-to about inappropriate urges?

SCORPIO: Are you certain you want me to pursue this course of action?

T7-01: T7 = bad at talking-tos // Baby Doc = always commences dance party using T7's beeping as techno beats

SCORPIO: Very well.

BABY JAESA whimpers and flees at SCORPIO’s approach. SCORPIO shoots a small electrodart that freezes BABY DOC in place. BABY DOC stares up at her in mute terror.

SCORPIO: Doc. It is only through challenging one’s limits that one realizes one’s potential. Transgressive behavior is an effective way to quickly determine the limits of what one can and cannot get away with, and boldly acting on one’s “inappropriate urges” on a few occasions may do more to characterize your environment and local statutes than a lifetime of playing it by the rules. Just retain the presence of mind to observe your associates’ reactions; you can learn a great deal from their outrage.

T7-01: SCORPIO = crazy??? // T7 = asked SCORPIO to give Doc a talking-to

SCORPIO: I did so. You did not specify that the talking-to had to advocate prosocial behavior.

The electrodart stun wears off. BABY DOC shudders.

BABY DOC: Did you just give me permission to make trouble, Miss SCORPIO?

T7-01: Answer = NO

SCORPIO: Yes.

BABY DOC: Lil' Doc’s gonna interpret that in the most favorable possible way.

BABY DOC sprints for the kitchen, vaults over the locked half-door, and starts tugging small kitchen appliances free to stack them so as to reach the cookie jar.

T7-01: SCORPIO = ruined us all

SCORPIO: A social order that cannot withstand a single disruptive element is a social order ripe for change.

BABIES TANNO VIK, RISHA, KALIYO, and ANDRONIKOS, having noticed BABY DOC’s activity, stampede to the kitchen to assist in the liberation of the cookies.

T7-01: That = more than a single disruptive element

SCORPIO: I only subverted the one. Fascinating.

T7-01: T7 = not physically equipped to subdue a mob of small children

SCORPIO: I am. But I choose not to.

T7-01 rolls over to where BABY JAESA is staring at her toy choices, looking anguished.

T7-01: T7 = recommends boat // boats = awesome

BABY JAESA, gratefully: Thanks!

T7-01: T7 = glad to still have authority somewhere

Edited by bright_ephemera
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(Two notes: One, yes, I'm skipping from Wednesday to Friday, because when supervisor inspiration strikes sometimes you can't wait. And two, I reserve the right to fail to be inspired by any given suggestion, but if they stir up fun thought processes you can be sure I'll run with 'em :) )

 

 

On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

 

 

SCORPIO: Now, children. It is time for hide and seek. This is a matter of the utmost importance if you wish to survive long enough to come into your own as fighters. Yuun, you will be our hunter.

BABY AKAAVI: There is no honor in that. It isn't fair at all.

SCORPIO: Neither is life. Adapt.

KHEM VAL: As children are found, they will join the hunt. The last child to be found will win the comfort of knowing that in case of emergency, he or she will be the last to die.

SCORPIO: That child will also be awarded a cookie.

KHEM VAL: Why?

SCORPIO: An immediate motivation will prompt the children to try harder. Death is abstract. Cookies are concrete.

The children scatter to hide. BABY YUUN makes a series of bizarre noises that might be construed as counting. After he reaches a long creak and a series of descending clicks, he uncovers his eyes and starts looking around. Within seconds he makes a beeline for the enormous rulebook in the corner. BABY ELARA is hiding behind it.

BABY ELARA: ...oh.

BABY YUUN: You always hide there.

BABY ELARA: One of these days the rulebook will actually protect me.

BABY YUUN turns to face BABY BROONMARK, who is sitting in the middle of the playroom floor, his ludicrously outsize fur puffing all around him.

BABY YUUN: You have also been found.

BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.

BABY YUUN: Traditionally one hides, for hide and seek. And now you must come seek with us.

BABY BROONMARK, not moving: Blllorp.

BABY ELARA: It's the rules, Broonmark.

BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!

BABY ELARA: Or you can stay there.

BABY YUUN and BABY ELARA walk slowly around the room, looking.

BABY YUUN: The signs are confused. The smell of superiority is strong on Risha, but it crosses and crisscrosses with similar smells in this place.

BABY ELARA: We could just put a pile of credits out in the open and wait for her to come running.

A hopeful gasp is heard from the toy bin.

BABY YUUN: You have been found, Risha.

BABY RISHA emerges from under the pile of toys, pushing past M1-4X and making a face.

BABY ELARA: Who does that leave us?

BABY YUUN: Talos, for one.

BABY RISHA: I bet Talos is hiding in Broonmark's fur again. He always hides in Broonmark's fur.

BABY TALOS, muffled: It's warm. But nobody's hiding in here. Nope. Not me.

BABY RISHA, giggling: I think two-thirds of Broonmark's weight is fur.

KHEM VAL: He will grow into the fur. In time he may grow to be a powerful and minimally allergenic warrior, like those I contended with on the battlefields of Yn and Chabosh.

BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!

BABY YUUN: You have been found, Talos. Come with us.

The children continue.

BABY YUUN: We hear no signs in the air.

BABY TALOS, hopefully: Maybe the scary Zabrak ran away forever?

BABY AKAAVI drops from the ceiling and starts efficiently beating the seekers, knocking BABY YUUN to the ground in a matter of seconds, simultaneously pulling BABY RISHA's and BABY ELARA's hair, and staring at BABY TALOS until he falls over in terror.

KHEM VAL: Akaavi. This is hide and seek, not hide and ambush.

BABY AKAAVI: There is a time to hide, and a time to fight. This is the time to fight.

BABY AKAAVI, keeping her stare firmly on KHEM VAL, kicks backward to kneecap a charging BABY BROONMARK. She thrusts an elbow back to jab him as he falls, then steps aside to let him crash to the ground.

BABY AKAAVI: If there are others to compete, let them come. The petty social niceties of hide and seek will not protect them.

KHEM VAL: I think she wins.

SCORPIO: This one will go far.

SCORPIO hands BABY AKAAVI a large cookie.

BABY AKAAVI: This cookie will bring honor to my clan.

KHEM VAL: No, it won't. It's a cookie.

SCORPIO: You understand very little of the sentient psyche, Khem.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

 

 

T7-01: Today = educational reading // Khem Val = distribute reading-level-appropriate material

KHEM VAL hands BABY ELARA a thick binder.

BABY ELARA: The statutes relating to exports of cruciferous vegetables in the Alderaan sector? I've never seen this one!

T7-01: Senators = requested breakdown of what all this actually means // Senatorial staff = unable to help // this = totally incomprehensible, but legally binding

BABY ELARA: I'm on it.

KHEM VAL hands BABY ASHARA an ornate scroll.

BABY ASHARA: The Jedi Code? Again?

T7-01: Jedi Council = hopeful that Ashara will read it this time

BABY ASHARA: Uuurrg. Guys, I've got this. Really.

T7-01: Ashara = manifestly lying // Ashara's behavior = not very Jedi-like

BABY ASHARA: That's because you're all bossy stupid repetitive jerks!

T7-01: Ashara = be calm // Jedi = only peace

KHEM VAL: Bah. Tulak Hord always said peace is a lie.

T7-01: Khem Val = not helping

KHEM VAL hands BABY CORSO a picture book.

BABY CORSO: Yay! I liked the blaster catalog better, but this is okay, too!

KHEM VAL hands BABY QUINN a small slick datapad and BABY TALOS a stone tablet.

BABY TALOS: What is this?

KHEM VAL: Nobody knows, not even the ancient scholars of Yn and Chabosh. They say you might be able to decipher it.

KHEM VAL moves on. BABY TALOS examines the stone tablet.

BABY TALOS: Oh. Oh, I see. But this is easy! It's similar to the glyphs of the early Yellow Rakatans, which suggests its origin is in the Rohaus sector. Some of the syntax is far more similar to the conquered Eabat, though, and depending on the date of this tablet that may be a previously unsuspected cultural crossover...I believe this is a recipe for muffins.

BABY QUINN, looking up from the datapad that's displaying a prominent general's rebuttal to BABY QUINN's published treatise on tactics: Talos, I have never met someone who was so clever and so skilled at something so completely pointless. Have you ever considered turning your formidable mental faculties to something that anybody who matters actually cares about?

BABY TALOS: This matters!

BABY QUINN: Failed civilizations and pastries. Tell me again how this is going to win the war?

BABY TALOS bursts into tears and hugs his stone tablet tight.

T7-01: Quinn = stop bullying Talos

BABY QUINN: Bullying is the Imperial way, Mister Teeseven.

T7-01: Forced Companions = neutral territory // Quinn = get back to reading

BABY QUINN: Oh, that. I already read the general's arguments, considered them, formulated what I consider to be irrefutable counterarguments, and published the result to the relevant military journals.

BABY QUINN lays a hand on the datapad and looks self-satisfied.

T7-01: Quinn = always finishes academic assignments early and then stirs up trouble

BABY QUINN, smiling in a sinister manner: Only you Republic lackeys call it trouble. Consider it a fair challenge to your antiquated ideas.

T7-01: Quinn = oh so smart?

BABY QUINN: Well, yes.

T7-01: Quinn = the most efficient?

BABY QUINN: Yes.

T7-01: Quinn = requires challenges suited to his superior faculties?

BABY QUINN: Yes, if you can manage.

T7-01: Quinn = help Elara sort out vegetable export regulations in the Alderaan sector

BABY QUINN gawps.

BABY QUINN: But...but those are Republic laws. With a dirty double-crossing Republic soldier.

T7-01: Quinn = consider it a challenge for his famed discipline and intelligence

BABY QUINN: This argument did not turn out the way I wanted it to.

T7-01: Quinn = walked right into it

BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned this better.

T7-01: Maybe Quinn = brag less in the future

KHEM VAL laughs.

KHEM VAL: You have a sense of humor, little droid.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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And they just keep coming.

 

 

On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL.

 

 

KHEM VAL: Children. It is time for lunch. Today we dine on grilled cheese.

BABY KALIYO: I don't like grilled cheese.

LORD SCOURGE, stepping out of the kitchen and folding his arms over his chest: You are provided with food at all only by the grace of the Sith. Be grateful.

BABY JORGAN: Mister Teeseven says Forced Companions is neutral territory.

LORD SCOURGE: I don't see Mister Teeseven here. Everything you have, you gain from my hand, and everything you have, I can take away.

KHEM VAL: Listen to the Sith. If I had my way you would fight to the death for a single sandwich, as in the cafeterias of Yn and Chabosh.

LORD SCOURGE: We're not that hard up for white bread, Khem.

KHEM VAL: I can dream.

BABY JORGAN: I don't suppose there's any red meat involved in the making of these grilled cheese sandwiches?

LORD SCOURGE: I enjoyed some juicy, succulent steak while making it, if that counts. There's none left for you.

BABY JORGAN, whiskers quivering: Your kind needs to be wiped off the face of this galaxy.

LORD SCOURGE: Enjoy your hatred, little tiger. I sure do.

YOUNG BOWDAAR brings out a big tray and starts laying out sandwiches on the playroom tables.

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE.

BABY GUSS, hiding under the corner table as he does on every day KHEM VAL is present: Hey, Jorgan. Could you bring me my sandwich? I would reach up to the table, but Khem Val might see me.

BABY JORGAN: Oh, grow a pair, Guss.

BABY GUSS: I have no idea what that means. Oh, hey, Bowdaar! You're sometimes not mean! Can you bring me my sandwich?

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I will do this, since I AM A SLAVE.

BABY KALIYO sticks out a toy hockey stick and trips YOUNG BOWDAAR on his way by. She scampers over to intercept the sandwich he had been carrying.

BABY KALIYO: Gee, this poor sandwich is wandering out all by itself! I better give it a good home.

BABY KALIYO makes eye contact with BABY GUSS and devours the sandwich.

BABY JORGAN: I thought you didn't like grilled cheese.

BABY KALIYO: I dunno, it actually tastes pretty good when it's smothered in spite.

LORD SCOURGE: Well said, Kaliyo, and well done. Would you like a helping of delicious steak? I have some left over. LORD SCOURGE gestures to the kitchen. Help yourself.

BABY JORGAN, to LORD SCOURGE: I WILL KILL YOU.

LORD SCOURGE covers the distance to BABY JORGAN in two steps. He kneels and puts his face close to the Cathar's.

LORD SCOURGE, snarling: What are the rules about death threats, Jorgan?

BABY JORGAN: Hmph. Only the daycare staff can make them, sir.

LORD SCOURGE: That's right. Apologize.

BABY JORGAN: I'm sorry I want to kill you so much, sir. Also...BABY JORGAN's whiskers twitch...there's still red meat on your breath.

LORD SCOURGE: I am aware.

LORD SCOURGE reaches out to grab a sandwich from the nearest table. He presents it to BABY JORGAN and smiles.

LORD SCOURGE: Grilled cheese?

Edited by bright_ephemera
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On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.

 

 

BABY RUSK is peeling himself off the floor in the middle of the playroom. The blast from BABY PIERCE's latest lunchbox special has taken out two tables and BABY RUSK's entire squad of stuffed animals.

M1-4X, from the toybox: You coward! We had a cease-fire! You had no cause for a declaration of hostilities!

BABY PIERCE: ...And?

M1-4X: It is unsporting to blow up the playroom prior to a declaration of war.

BABY PIERCE: I declared. You just couldn't hear it through the explosion.

BABY RUSK: My squad is gone. Again.

BABY PIERCE: Guess you'd better recruit a new one for next time.

M1-4X: We must end this war swiftly and decisively. Rusk, I will support you in any way I can while you recruit a new squad.

BABY RUSK: Will you join my squad, Forex?

M1-4X: Awkwardly enough, my turrets only shoot foam darts with little suction cups. I do not think I would be a meaningful combat asset.

BABY RUSK: Oh.

BABY PIERCE toddles off to the kitchen. BABY RUSK scans the room.

BABY RUSK: Will you join my squad, Jorgan?

BABY JORGAN looks eloquently at the half-dozen smoldering stuffed animals lying in varying states of shreddedness around the smoking husk of BABY PIERCE's lunchbox.

BABY RUSK: I couldn't have predicted that, I'll have you know.

BABY JORGAN: You told him to do his worst. After he told you he had a thermal detonator in his lunchbox. You then carried your entire squad with you to stand toe to toe with him. And screamed defiance while he placed his lunchbox on top of the squad pile and walked away. And now they're all ripped up and on fire. I'm not going to join your squad.

BABY RUSK: If you were a real patriot you would be on my squad.

BABY JORGAN: I got my sights set higher than Nameless McGeneric Squad, Rusk. You'll see.

BABY JORGAN and M1-4X briefly exchange a secret hand signal for Havoc Squad. BABY JORGAN beams.

BABY RUSK: Will you join my squad, Quinn?

BABY QUINN, disgustedly: ...

BABY RUSK: It'll give you a reason to beat on Pierce at every opportunity.

BABY QUINN, conflictedly: ...

BABY RUSK: Hmph. I wish Elara was in today. Hey, Corso, will you be in my squad?

SCORPIO leans forward from her observation spot, watching intently.

BABY CORSO: Sure!

SCORPIO: As predicted. Too dumb to live.

BABY PIERCE emerges from the kitchen, grinning and holding BABY QUINN's lunchbox.

BABY PIERCE: In the time it took you to get one-third of a squad together, I've fixed up another lunchbox special.

BABY RUSK, opting to stomp up and face BABY PIERCE directly: Don't you start with me!

BABY CORSO, running up to stand in solidarity and also examine the lunchbox: Yeah, don't start with him! Us. Hey, where's the detonator on that thing?

BABY PIERCE, staring in disbelief: You literally, directly asked for it.

A large explosion bursts BABY QUINN's lunchbox and sends BABIES PIERCE, RUSK, and CORSO flying.

T7-01 returns from the meaningless errand SCORPIO had sent him on.

T7-01: !!! This = what happened?

SCORPIO: The children commenced a shooting war.

T7-01: SCORPIO = needs to stop them!

SCORPIO: Hush, Teeseven. Little Rusk needs new soldier stuffed animals, since he has gotten his squad killed again. Why don't you tend to that while I observe here.

T7-01: T7 = help Rusk // SCORPIO = make sure kids are okay

SCORPIO: I promise only to observe.

BABY VECTOR has been quietly looking after the younger children in the far corner.

BABY VECTOR: It's all right, everyone. We need only survive until daycare gets out this afternoon. The war will blow over by tomorrow morning, it always does. For now, let us play We Spy.

BABY KIRA: You realize there's only one of you, right?

BABY VECTOR: What?

BABY KIRA: Besides, I Spy with you is terrible. You always end up spying something ten miles away that you can only see through bug-mindmeld-vision. None of us can possibly guess it. Why don't we play "overwhelm those jerks through superior numbers and better moral standing?"

BABY VECTOR: You are a strange sort of Jedi.

BABY KIRA: Strange? Perhaps. Right? Definitely. It's the fastest way to establish peace.

BABY VECTOR, turning to look at where BABY PIERCE is locked in vicious combat with BABY CORSO and BABY RUSK: It is true that he is a senselessly aggressive maniac. Think we can take him?

BABY KIRA: If by "we" you mean "you and me" instead of "you and your personal crazy," yes.

BABY VECTOR puts on his determined face.

BABY VECTOR: We fight for you. We fight for the nest.

BABY KIRA and BABY VECTOR charge.

Edited by bright_ephemera
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