Theron: Midi-what now? I forgot whatever I said.

Quinn: I have no idea what that is.

Theron: Never heard of it. Must've been some nonsense word.

Quinn: Indeed.

Theron: Our Security Chief, huh...? Hmm.

*bad saxophone music starts up*

-- The dame was cagey, all right, but she wore suspicion like a tiger wears its stripes - keeping it close and so twisted you'd need a map to navigate from one line to the next. Her alibi checked out, which didn't make sense. It was tight and clingy, like a million-dollar coat. But most coats had holes in them, from lies or contradictions...or a really bad moth infestation. Needed to get an exterminator. Not sure where I was going with that metaphor. Didn't want to find out. My partner and I--

Quinn: Shan, what are you doing? *saxophone music abruptly dies*

Theron: Inner monologue. All the cool detectives do it.

Quinn: It's "cool" to sound like an idiot?

Theron: You do better.

Quinn:

*bad saxophone music starts up again*

-- It had come to my attention that the object of our search lay elsewhere, like a princess waiting to be rescued, only for the heroes to break into the evil villain's lair and be helpfully informed that their princess was in another castle. Then they would go through a thoroughly unnecessary fight to get back out of the lair, but it served to heighten drama and tension, so perhaps it wasn't unnecessary at all. Nevertheless, our quarry was elusive, like a duck wearing camouflage to wait out the hunting season, huddled in a corner of a forest, nervously sweating - if ducks can sweat - and hearing fake duck calls all around it, steadfastly refusing the temptation to throw itself into the air and be shot dead. Our quarry was like that. It--

Theron: What was that?

Quinn: Oh, excuse me. I was attempting to be as moronic as you.

Theron: You failed. Actually, you went way past me and wound up somewhere in the "legendarily terrible" category.

Quinn: "Went way past you" implies I passed you. As in, I did better.

Theron: ...argh. *headdesk* Walked right into it.

 

 

(Minichlorines? Never heard of 'em. No idea what they could possibly be.

...wait, there was a Star Wars movie in 2015? Huh. Oh right, The Force Hits the Snooze Button or something...it woke up in 2016; Rogue One was awesome, at least.)

Grand Admiral, it would seem you're a fan of Noir! Theron's inner monologue, I loved it. You can pass that on to him. And our dear Major, well he could write squiggles in crayon and I'd love it to bits. It would also seem that we have some individuals in need of a thorough questioning...I'm not sure I'd take those denials at face value. It warrants some digging.

And I agree, R1 was brilliant, I really enjoyed it, it surprised me...where as TFA didn't surprise me so much at all--though there were elements of it I really liked. And that, Darth's, Lords, GAs and C's of S, was a movie review, by Darth Lunafox.

Orangenee, you might want to take a look at my fic in the fanfic section. My SW finds herself in the time of the prequels It's not to be taken too seriously but I did have fun mocking midi-chlorians.

 

http://www.swtor.com/community/showthread.php?t=928210

 

Shameless self promotion? Yes. Why do you ask?

Again, what prequels? As far as I recall the whole IV to VI numbering was a massive typo they kept for nostalgic purposes.

Again, what prequels? As far as I recall the whole IV to VI numbering was a massive typo they kept for nostalgic purposes.

Oh, I see you're one of those.

Oh, I see you're one of those.

No idea what you're talking about.....

Actually to be serious for a moment. I did like some of Ep 1 and nearly all of Ep 3. Episode 2 though can go die in a massive fire save for Yoda vs. Dooku.

Theron: Midi-what now? I forgot whatever I said.

Quinn: I have no idea what that is.

Theron: Never heard of it. Must've been some nonsense word.

Quinn: Indeed.

Theron: Our Security Chief, huh...? Hmm.

*bad saxophone music starts up*

-- The dame was cagey, all right, but she wore suspicion like a tiger wears its stripes - keeping it close and so twisted you'd need a map to navigate from one line to the next. Her alibi checked out, which didn't make sense. It was tight and clingy, like a million-dollar coat. But most coats had holes in them, from lies or contradictions...or a really bad moth infestation. Needed to get an exterminator. Not sure where I was going with that metaphor. Didn't want to find out. My partner and I--

Quinn: Shan, what are you doing? *saxophone music abruptly dies*

Theron: Inner monologue. All the cool detectives do it.

Quinn: It's "cool" to sound like an idiot?

Theron: You do better.

Quinn:

*bad saxophone music starts up again*

-- It had come to my attention that the object of our search lay elsewhere, like a princess waiting to be rescued, only for the heroes to break into the evil villain's lair and be helpfully informed that their princess was in another castle. Then they would go through a thoroughly unnecessary fight to get back out of the lair, but it served to heighten drama and tension, so perhaps it wasn't unnecessary at all. Nevertheless, our quarry was elusive, like a duck wearing camouflage to wait out the hunting season, huddled in a corner of a forest, nervously sweating - if ducks can sweat - and hearing fake duck calls all around it, steadfastly refusing the temptation to throw itself into the air and be shot dead. Our quarry was like that. It--

Theron: What was that?

Quinn: Oh, excuse me. I was attempting to be as moronic as you.

Theron: You failed. Actually, you went way past me and wound up somewhere in the "legendarily terrible" category.

Quinn: "Went way past you" implies I passed you. As in, I did better.

Theron: ...argh. *headdesk* Walked right into it.

 

 

(Minichlorines? Never heard of 'em. No idea what they could possibly be.

...wait, there was a Star Wars movie in 2015? Huh. Oh right, The Force Hits the Snooze Button or something...it woke up in 2016; Rogue One was awesome, at least.)

I admit to being guilty in the chapter HOWEVER in this particular story I was busy doing important urgent "research" with Quinn He started it when I walked in on this. And later I was busy chiefing the security

Guys, I think we need to address an issue here. This thread went onto page 2.

Que up for your lashings at the usual place.

No idea what you're talking about.....

 

Actually to be serious for a moment. I did like some of Ep 1 and nearly all of Ep 3. Episode 2 though can go die in a massive fire save for Yoda vs. Dooku.

I loved the Duel of the Fates part of Episode One. And the very ending scene - solely because of the music. That cheerful, strangely alien, slightly disturbingly creepy upbeat music? That'd be the Emperor's theme, sped up and sung in a minor key. No wonder it sounds so...off. It's *meant* to sound creepy.

If you cut out every bit of Anakin and Padme in Episode 2, it would've been a good movie. I may or may not be saying that as a huge clone fangirl. *cough* ...okay yes I'm a fangirl.

Episode 3 was...pretty. Loved the opening battle. After that, didn't much care... but the novelization, oh my GOSH. Best. Book. EVER. If you haven't read it, please do. It's gorgeous, nightmarish, provides a far better story than the movie, fills in important plot holes, and the writing style is mind-blowing epic.

...all righty, fangirling mode off now!

I admit to being guilty in the chapter HOWEVER in this particular story I was busy doing important urgent "research" with Quinn He started it when I walked in on this. And later I was busy chiefing the security

Theron: ...

Quinn: ...

Theron: ...you know, Major, I wouldn't have guessed you of all people were such a...um...flirt.

Quinn: Alternate. Universe. Versions. Of. Myself. The same thing happens with you - how else can you justify being shipped with everyone, regardless of allegiance, gender, or alignment?

Theron: Uhh...good point.

-- Another alibi checked out, going by the Major's embarassment. The case was wrapping up, but in a complicated way, like a Life Day present with too much giftwrap tied onto it which resulted in more giftwrap than present - and a lot more sticky tape. And a very frustrated kid come Life Day morning. It--

Quinn: If you don't mind, I'll be doing the monologues from here on out.

Theron: *grumble* Knock yourself out. *subtly positions anvil over Quinn's head*

Quinn: Thank you. *steps out from underneath anvil*

*CRASH*

Theron: ...oh hey, who put that anvil there?

Quinn: I would have no idea. *freezing death glare*

-- Aside from my partner attempting to kill me, which was nothing surprising - and doubtful I would have died, since the Quinnmancers' thread seems to survive on Loony Tunes cartoon physics - the case was straightforward, yet bizarre. Darth Sarova's alibi checked out - DO NOT ASK ME HOW I KNOW - which left...a lot of people. For the life of me, I could not understand the motives behind this impostor. Who would want to forge a note from me to my wife? It makes no sense. Pierce and Vette had the most likely motives - jealousy and annoying "fun," respectively - but Vette is/was/can be dead, and Pierce claims he was, ah, "relaxing" with an Alliance soldier that night. I do not even want to verify THAT alibi. I turned the case over in my head, mulling over the details. Who could possibly have motivation for forging a letter from me? Some first step in a nefarious scheme--

Theron: Detectives' inner monologues are meant to be short and snappy. That was the exact opposite of short and snappy.

Quinn: I'm not done yet.

Theron: Okay, I'll go take a nap. Wake me up in five years when you're done.

Quinn: Grrrr....

-- My partner was as annoying as ever. At that contemplation, dawning understanding came as suddenly as a brick crashing through the window!

*brick crashes through the window*

Theron: GAH! I'm awake, I'm awake! Shortest five years ever...

Quinn: YOU DID IT.

Theron: ...what.

Quinn: YOU forged that note!

Theron: ...no, I didn't. Why would I want to impersonate you?

Quinn: Spite? Jealousy? Annoying fun?

Theron: Spite, maybe; jealousy, I'm not jealous; annoying fun, that's not my style. If I wanted to have fun, I'd hack into your HoloNet account and start posting all the details of your astonishingly extensive love life--

Quinn: Blackmail will get you nowhere, impostor! I see through your lies!

Theron: --and we know the letter was sent from the Odessen base, which I couldn't have done because while I was *on* Odessen, I wasn't at the base until about three that morning, and the letter was sent way before that.

Quinn: ...!

Theron: ...so, are we going to investigate that brick that just crashed through the window?

Quinn: *muttering something about a boot and Theron's backside, he nevertheless puts on gloves and picks up the brick* There's a note tied to it.

Theron: Oh, good, I was worried somebody was in the habit of randomly throwing bricks through windows just for a quick gag. *glares at Jagaimee*

I've put those days behind me now, I swear. Much to the relief of my Warriors spoof characters, I'm sure...

Quinn: *reading note* "You're getting too close. Back off, or you'll never see Vette again!" ...that last part is scratched out, with a scribbled note underneath: "Wait, no, Vette's already dead. Disregard that. Back off anyway!"

Theron: *peers closely* ...that's odd. I recognize the handwriting.

Quinn: So do I...

-- The case was afoot! Again! If it had ever been not-afoot in the first place. Unfoot? Never mind. Shan and I were on the trail once more, and this time, we knew who our next clue was. Short, perpetually dressed in an unbecoming gray sack - or slave dancer's outfit - with a face that looked like it fell out of the ugly tree and hit a few branches on the way down, and blonde like Midas's gold: a deadly combination, but handled with care and heavy-duty gloves, it could be worthwhile. Did Midas's curse even work with gloves, or would the gloves be turned to gold as well, and you'd promptly have your hands encased in gold? ...oh, that's horrifying. Ahem. We hurried back to Odessen, where our next, and hopefully last, suspect awaited...

Quinn: Darth Sarova's alibi checked out

Of course it did! My money is on she of the perma-snotty-nose.

Of course it did! My money is on she of the perma-snotty-nose.

I concur, Chief of Security Sarova. And if my intelligence on the matter is correct she has set a precedent for doing sneaky things. Right Theron?

I am going to guess the Unofficial Spokesperson is also not above suspicion? This should be entertaining

Well, I think it's definitely necessary to investigate all potentials.

I concur, Chief of Security Sarova. And if my intelligence on the matter is correct she has set a precedent for doing sneaky things. Right Theron?

Evidence No. 1: Messing up the letter to Theron from Satele. Parts pertaining to his lover were edited and/or censored.

Evidence No. 2: She cannot deny that. She informed about that transgression the said lover in another letter.

-- We arrived at Odessen Headquarters. I mean, the Alliance Headquarters. ...the Throne Room. The Eternal--the--oh, blast it.

Quinn: *facepalm*

Theron: To answer your unspoken question, I have absolutely no idea what they're calling it nowadays.

Quinn: *notices a sign going up: "ETERNAL--[several words are scratched out: "Alliance?" "Band of Friends?" "We're the Good Guys and You're Not?" "We Win, Nah Nah Nah Nah Nah?"]* ...this is ridiculous.

Theron: Tell me about it. Oh, there's our suspect.

Quinn: ...what is she doing with that Imperial officer?

Theron: Uh...they are...very close, aren't they? ... *shields eyes*

Quinn: . . . IS THAT ME!?

Theron: What.

-- I couldn't believe it. My partner stomped across the headquarters to where the five-foot-two blonde in sackcloth was engaging in less-than-professional relations with his twin. My partner's twin, that is. Not the blonde's twin. Just to...clear that up. Yuck. The blonde whirled around, eyes as big as a deer caught in the headlights of a Super Star Destroyer. And about to be run over by one, too. Overkill, but I'm not Imperial, so what can I say to that?

Lana: ...Major...! Uhh, you're...back early...

Quinn: Beniko, I must ask - WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL SENSE IS THIS!?

Lana: *trying desperately to block his view of the guy standing behind her* I--I have no idea what you're talking about.

Quinn: THAT...thing. *stares* ...what even--

QuinnBot: I am Malavai Quinn.

Quinn: ...

Theron: ...did not see that coming.

QuinnBot: I am Qalavai Muinn.

Lana: It...needs work...?

Quinn: Explain. This. Now.

Theron: Oh this'll be good.

-- The blonde broke down like a bad speeder, one you get from Joe's Used Speeder Sales. Don't buy a vehicle there, terrible place. In a voice that had the stability of a paranoid Chihuahua on caffeine, the dame confessed that her QuinnBot was meant to replace the Major. To get players used to the idea of voiceless companions that don't interact with the story at all. Horrible idea. About as horrible an idea as the time I decided to trust Jonas Balkar when he said he didn't cheat at cards. (It involved rakghouls. Don't ask.) When asked who set her up to it, Blondie was vague. Some sort of overlords who run the game, she babbled about, which made me think that she was about as stable as a paranoid Chihuahua on caffeine, not just her voice. Of course we called the nearest mental institution. They carted the dame away while she was still railing about companions and being voiceless and how she'd been offered protection from the cost-cutting and eventually made Queen of SWTOR if she just stayed perfect. Everybody wished she could've stayed silent. My partner and I--

Quinn: For the last time, I am not your partner.

Theron: Aw.

Quinn: You're my partner. I'm in charge. My thread.

Theron: *grumble*

Quinn: Now then. *inspects QuinnBot* ...you know, this would explain the lackluster meeting on Iokath.

Theron: Is there a DorneBot somewhere around here?

Quinn: I doubt it. Dorne actually had a reaction to player choices. I--er, the QuinnBot--didn't.

Theron: Think she has a whole slew of these things for all the other companions?

Quinn: Most likely. So, the droid wrote the letter as practice for its eventual takeover.

QuinnBot: I am Malavai Quinn.

Quinn: You most certainly are not.

QuinnBot: ...I *am* Malavai Quinn?

Quinn: Say that one more time, and I will deactivate you.

QuinnBot: I really am Mal--

Quinn: *FLYING FIST TO THE FACE*

-- The droid wrote a letter. I wrote the end of its story. So Beniko had created a droid to replace me, and by extension all the other beloved companions...but her plot had been foiled by quick thinking, ingenuity, annoyance, a Monty Python special effects crew, and that brick through the window.

Theron: And teamwork.

-- ...and I probably would have gotten the whole thing done much faster had I been alone.

(That was probably a lackluster ending. o.e Sorry... I'm a bit scatterbrained at the moment.)

*picking at well manicured nails* Well, if I, Darth Lunafox have any say about it, I think we should call it the Eternal Alliance of Quinnmancers, first of our name, Overlords of the free men, Lords of the Andals...and we're all better than you, don't you wish you were us coalition. But that's just me. The ending to this case was exciting and had plenty of purple-lustre. I am gratified that this case has finally been solved and that ghastly blonde woman dealt with.

We should be proud we uncovered a dastardly plot, but at least the Quinn-bot didn't call him MAH-LA-VEE Quinn,

so there is that. And no, never buy a speeder from Joe's, he's Kai Zykken's cousin twice removed. Good work everyone. Death sticks for all!

Evidence No. 1: Messing up the letter to Theron from Satele. Parts pertaining to his lover were edited and/or censored.

 

Evidence No. 2: She cannot deny that. She informed about that transgression the said lover in another letter.

Nails in the coffin to be sure. Excellent work and good news, that awful blonde woman was dealt with in a manner befitting her crime.

I sincerely wonder about the people of this thread at times....

I think I'm the only (relatively sane) one here Though me being a guy I suspect may have something to do with that!

Back to your regularly scheduled insanity...

I sincerely wonder about the people of this thread at times....

 

I think I'm the only (relatively sane) one here Though me being a guy I suspect may have something to do with that!

 

Back to your regularly scheduled insanity...

We all think we're sane here lol. Welcome to our mass delusion.

We all think we're sane here lol. Welcome to our mass delusion.

Ah that's what it is, is it? In that case....

I sincerely wonder about the people of this thread at times....

 

I think I'm the only (relatively sane) one here Though me being a guy I suspect may have something to do with that!

 

Back to your regularly scheduled insanity...

Of course we're insane! That's part of the fun!

...though, honestly, writing Purple Quinn (and Silver Theron) helps me calm down when faced with a stressful situation. So...thanks, guys, for letting me be a little crazy.

Of course we're insane! That's part of the fun!

 

...though, honestly, writing Purple Quinn (and Silver Theron) helps me calm down when faced with a stressful situation. So...thanks, guys, for letting me be a little crazy.

I love Purple Quinn and Silver Theron, so you just go on and be as crazy as you need to be. I hope though that things will perk up soon and you won't be so stressed. Don't want our GA to be unhappy. ^^

I sincerely wonder about the people of this thread at times....

 

I think I'm the only (relatively sane) one here Though me being a guy I suspect may have something to do with that!

 

Back to your regularly scheduled insanity...

Yo dude, I'm a heterosexual male. Yet I'm turned by the mighty Imperial god Malavai Quinn.

Yo dude, I'm a heterosexual male. Yet I'm turned by the mighty Imperial god Malavai Quinn.

Well then you two ought to get along then Kudos for being confident enough to say that, cause so many guys wouldn't lol. *high fives*

Well then you two ought to get along then Kudos for being confident enough to say that, cause so many guys wouldn't lol. *high fives*

It's Quinn. He made a man of me.

Take that as you will, what happens on the ship stays on the ship.

It's Quinn. He made a man of me.

 

Take that as you will, what happens on the ship stays on the ship.

Hey, mum's the word. The man is just that awesome.