Normally I just read fanfics and don't comment; however, this compelled me to say something.

 

First off, this is a great story. There are many great stories here, but I like the light and pleasant tone you have managed to keep while keeping the story interesting and entertaining. I've enjoyed it very much.

 

I think you hit the nail in the head right there. I think many of the F!SW who romanced and felt betrayed by Quinn failed to recognize that technically there was no betrayal, because Quinn's loyalties never changed. I tend to draw the comparison with who I root for during the Olympics: I came to the US when I was 12 and have been here since. I love US and I consider it my home. However, my root is my motherland. So during the Olympics, I root for both the US and my motherland when they are not playing against each other. However, when they play against each other, I root for my motherland. I am sad if US loses, but I don't feel that I betrayed US by rooting for my motherland. I tend to think this is the thinking process behind Quinn as well. It's not that the SW was not important to him, but Baras had the priority, and rightfully so. Baras was there for Quinn first. He helped Quinn for a duration much longer than the SW did. And his support was probably a lot more crucial (Quinn was doing OK on Balmorra when the SW showed up. However, his life was probably in danger when Baras stepped in after Druckenwell.). Who should have the priority should never have been a question.

 

There seems to be an expectation that Quinn should serve the F!SW completely and unconditionally. However, carefully examining the story progress I am not sure the F!SW deserved that unconditional loyalty. Sure she cared about him and supported his personal ventures, but she was quite selfish and inconsiderate when it came to his feelings. I'm not just talking about how she approached their relationship, but especially her thoughtlessness on how her conflict with Baras affected Quinn. She knew Quinn owed Baras his career. She knew Quinn was loyal and idolized Baras. When Quinn asked "so it's true? You've been chosen as the Emperor's Wrath. And we now fight against Darth Baras.", his tone was very clear that he was deeply troubled. Yet the F!SW simply declared that her old master was now her new enemy, and made zero effort to sympathize, or showed any interest in understanding, what Quinn must be feeling. She just expected Quinn to be 100% OK with it.

 

Sad thing is, that was clearly what Baras thought as well: he also expected Quinn's complete and unconditional loyalty. Although it was never shown, it was clearly implied that Baras never considered, or perhaps simply didn't care, the possibility that Quinn may not be OK with killing the SW. At the end of the day, I feel what the betryal revealed was not Quinn's failure as a human being, but the Siths' (both of them).

 

Personally I don't see Quinn being any less loyal or less trustworthy than other SW companions. The other companions were never put into such difficult situation that tests the boundary of their integrity to such extreme. In fact, none of them had been put in any situation of conflict interest. Personally I would not have bet that they would have fared any better had they been put into similar situation.

It's so cute how in the Star Wars galaxy attempted murder is the equivalent to cheering for the other team in sports and should be followed with "Are you ok with me making an enemy of the guy who ordered my death sweetie?" and failing to ask that is a sign that you're bad person.

Also, I hope I'm not the only one where my SW only flirted with Quinn once (I should inspect those quarters) and after that he pursued SW despite her telling him to go away (i was just kidding, lost interest in you, go away). It was even creepier to see that and then hit transponder station glad there's an option to truly break it off (all convos post moff broysc arc).

“No bet. She never punches him in the face. Ruins his good looks or something stupid like that,” Vette muttered back.

 

So the true reason for all the Quinn-forgiveness reveals itself

It's so cute how in the Star Wars galaxy attempted murder is the equivalent to cheering for the other team in sports and should be followed with "Are you ok with me making an enemy of the guy who ordered my death sweetie?" and failing to ask that is a sign that you're bad person.

Not the same degree, no, but I think the priority triaging process is the same.

And no, I don't mean asking Quinn if he's OK with her killing Baras, but at least show some understanding of his dilemma. Perhaps allow him to stay clear.

Also, I don't think death/murder/killing is treated in the SW world the same way. Reylon felt honored to work for Baras till the end, even when he was being executed by Baras. He was the respected one. The other guy in Nar Shaddaa did not take his execution well, and he was portrayed as a coward. So I don't think Baras ordering an execution of the SW is definitively considered as murder in that world.

Also, I hope I'm not the only one where my SW only flirted with Quinn once (I should inspect those quarters) and after that he pursued SW despite her telling him to go away (i was just kidding, lost interest in you, go away). It was even creepier to see that and then hit transponder station glad there's an option to truly break it off (all convos post moff broysc arc).

Didn't go through that route, so can't really comment, but yes, I supposed if he was the one pursuing the SW then it's creepy.

Notes:

 

 

I'm rather nervous about this one. I'm not sure if I was able to capture Jadus well and I was surprised at the Jadus lovin' goin' on in this thread, lol.

I wished he was a romantic option when I played my agent

On another note though...would you terribly mind if I offered some constructive criticism?

One thing that kind of jumped out at me in this chapter is that you re-used certain adverbs a lot--namely, "evenly" and "tonelessly". I felt like seeing them so frequently diminished the effect a bit. Maybe try spacing them out more? Just a suggestion.

This is another writing tick of mine. I notice it in most of my other writings, but it stands out more here because of Jadus and how he speaks. He talks with fairly little emotion leaking through his voice and reminds me of Vector and his speech patterns. He also seems to have an affect on those around him, hence Athra and Quinn mimicking his mannerisms. I need to break down and buy a thesaurus... that way, I can say the same with without saying the same thing.

EDIT: Spoilered for leeeeeeength...

EDIT AGAIN:

To replllllllly....

I wished he was a romantic option when I played my agent

 

 

that would be an awesome betrayal reveal. he'd put quinn to shame

 

just sayin

 

I wish a lot of NPCs were romance options or at least flirt options. *sigh*

And for a record breaking triple post... Spoilered for leeeeength...

EDIT: Spoilered for leeeeeeength...

 

 

 

 

That's not a fair cop.

 

We really can't relate to a character without drawing from our own experiences and since most of us (dare I hope all) have no experience with trying to murder our current Sith Lord at the order of another Sith Lord... well... we can only draw from our lives. Sports is a fair enough example as there can be rivalries and what not, but it's not going to be a direct parallel to a murder/betrayal/loyalty story. And I hope no one actually has a direct parallel because... whaaaaat?

 

As for the Sith!Warrior/Quinn loyalty dynamic, it amazes me the warrior is never suspicious of Quinn. I think Pierce might mention something during his conversations, but I don't remember fully. I do remember that he's all "Captain Quinn is a stick in the muuuuud." For most of the first Chapter, the Warrior goes around actively murdering Baras' spies in an attempt to keep them from being discovered/silencing them. Not just that, but after killing a spy on Balmorra, suddenly Quinn is all "Hey, Warrior, Baras gave me a promotion and the ability to post myself anywhere in the Galaxy. I mean freakin' anywhere! But, I wanna be on your ship because you rocked the Balmorran Arms Factory like a hurricane. Oh, and, I'm loyal to you and blah blah blah. Let's get goin', my stuff's on the ship already!" Quinn is completely loyal to the Warrior until that loyalty conflicts directly with his loyalty to Baras. It's an interesting and underexplored (in game) dynamic that I wish was revealed. Now, this isn't to say the Warrior is a total idiot and had it coming, but it does make you wonder if there had been different conversation choices, if things would have been revealed earlier. We play the story we're given, then rewrite that crap because it wasn't satisfying enough... lol

 

 

 

I can't say for sure, as I purposely made an entirely new fem!warrior just to romance Quinn. I will make mention that if you gave him courting gifts to raise his affection, you might have confused his poor [FLIRT]/[iNTERESTED IN MY BUSINESS] gauge. Now, I have experienced the scene where he's all "I will not be deterred, mwah mwah mwah", but, again, I pretty much chased the bastard around the ship while naked screaming "TAKE ME YOU LUSCIOUS PIECE OF MAN" and pointing at my lady bits.

 

 

EDIT AGAIN:

 

To replllllllly....

 

 

I wish a lot of NPCs were romance options or at least flirt options. *sigh*

 

Also, since no one mentioned it here yet, if you do Corellia without Quinn, he throws himself in front of Lord Draahg, Vowran compliments him about it and he says he's atoning for a past indescretion. You can tell him he didn't need to atone for anything and the things he did are forgotten. He says nevertheless my lord, I am yours.

 

Or something like that. It's the closest they give you to closure of course most people don't get it because they need the heeeealz or they like Quinn or something.

 

...Curses! I can't believe I missed this!

Oh YouTuuuuuuube...!

Um, in a similar way, some Voss/Corellia Jedi Consular spoilers:

...Curses! I can't believe I missed this!

 

Oh YouTuuuuuuube...!

Found it. Unfortunately, it's about 18 minutes in and seems to be loading slowly. I hope it's just me... lol.

Transcript:

Found it. Unfortunately, it's about 18 minutes in and seems to be loading slowly. I hope it's just me... lol.

Excellent. I shall have to look at it later; must run off now to martial arts training. Please excuse my editing of the last post; I had some extra thoughts and didn't want to double post.

Found it. Unfortunately, it's about 18 minutes in and seems to be loading slowly. I hope it's just me... lol.

You can time-skip on youtube. If you want to give a link that starts at a specific time, add #t=NUMBEROFSECONDS to the url. So to come in at exactly 18 minutes (1080 seconds), do your youtube.com/whatever#t=1080 .

Excellent. I shall have to look at it later; must run off now to martial arts training. Please excuse my editing of the last post; I had some extra thoughts and didn't want to double post.

Hah, I just ninja edited mine with a short transcript!

EDIT:

NINJA'D!!

You can time-skip on youtube. If you want to give a link that starts at a specific time, add #t=NUMBEROFSECONDS to the url. So to come in at exactly 18 minutes (1080 seconds), do your youtube.com/whatever#t=1080 .

I knew about the time skip, but goodness, skipping around makes it go slooooow. Thanks for the tip on the time start thing, though. I always wondered how people did that. I assumed magic.

And then I didn't post the URL. What the hell, Fino?

Remorseful Quinn is remorseful.

Oh my, did I just help Quinn's case for lovins?

Yes, and further hatred of BioWare's poor attempt at telling the end of his story.

Yes, and further hatred of BioWare's poor attempt at telling the end of his story.

 

hahaha. Also, i was kidding in my other post i did forgive him there the first time... He was so sad and cute. I said aawwwwww quinnnnn and my husband rolled his eyes. Then he said "he was so depressed he has to be loyal to you now he tried to suicide by sith!"

 

i did give him the "i still hate you" speech for another character but that was more of an ic thing than anything else.

 

 

>:[ BioWare really needs to fix their caps fixer thing if it's going to mess up smileys. Seriously...

Anyway, I was originally going to post ":D" but that was too short so I posted more and an ellipsis. Apparently, that's screaming at you. *throws hands in the air*

 

HAHAHA. Also, I was kidding in my other post I did forgive him there the first time... he was so sad and cute. I said aawwwwww Quinnnnn and my husband rolled his eyes. Then he said "He was so depressed he has to be loyal to you now he tried to suicide by Sith!"

 

I did give him the "I still hate you" speech for another character but that was more of an IC thing than anything else.

 

 

I would love to see the "I still hate you," because every rendition of the Corellia scene I've found on Youtube has the Sith Warrior saying "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

I would love to see the "I still hate you," because every rendition of the Corellia scene I've found on Youtube has the Sith Warrior saying "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

I believe it's something along the lines of,

I would love to see the "I still hate you," because every rendition of the Corellia scene I've found on Youtube has the Sith Warrior saying "You have nothing to be ashamed of."

Edit yah like this only I think Shaky ground is the choice and the words they say are almost never the text you choose:

I believe it's something along the lines of,

 

 

QUINN: (blah blah, making up for a past indiscretion blah blah)

WARRIOR: You're still on shaky ground, Quinn. (I'm pretty sure that's the phrasing used, I could be wrong.)

QUINN: I can hardly blame you, my lord. (or something like that)

VOWRAWN: You ride your people hard, but the results are certainly spectacular. (again, not verbatim)

 

Steering us back on track... lol

In which Athra refuses to compromise...

“I disagree with your assessment,” Athra said as the session wound to a close.

“I am never wrong,” said Jadus.

“You’re wrong about this.”

“Hear the man out, won’t you?” Quinn asked stiffly.

“No, that suggestion is stupid! I can’t believe you’re going along with this!”

“It’s not going to kill you,” huffed Quinn.

“I am not switching sides on this, you’ll just have to suffer alone,” Athra said blandly.

“I can’t believe you won’t side with me on this,” Quinn grumped.

“I’m not switching teams!”

“You wouldn’t have to; just stop rubbing it in my face when the Frog-Dogs lose! It’s not that hard, honestly!”

“It’s cute when you pout and we usually have sex after.”

“Not since the separation,” Quinn sighed.

“So we haven’t lived together for a while, it’s not that bad,” Athra said placatingly.

“The first time I’ve seen you in weeks and you tease me on the elevator,” Quinn pouted.

“We won’t be engaging in marital bed activities until I’ve stopped being angry with you.”

“You’re a Sith and a woman… I have no chance, do I?” Quinn asked smartly.

“Not with that attitude!” Athra snapped.

Jadus cleared his throat behind his mask. “That is our time for today. I would like to see you again in three days. During our time apart, consider reigniting your passion for each other. It may make emotional reconciliation easier in the long run.”

Quinn stood and bowed shortly to Jadus. “Thank you for your time.” He held his hand out to Athra, but she ignored it and brought herself to her feet on her own thank you very much.

“Cheering for the Frog-Dogs,” she scoffed as she brushed past him. "You must have hit your head on the way back into Imperial space."

Quinn’s shoulders slumped a fraction of an inch as he followed her out. The Frog-Dogs could rally. Really.

The door to Jadus’ office slid shut. The man behind the desk shook his head and entered more data into his handheld screen. Cheering for the Frog-Dogs was the least of their concerns.

Steering us back on track... lol

 

“You’re a Sith and a woman… I have no chance, do I?” Quinn asked smartly.

I choked on coffee. <3 It's my punishment for being a derailing derailer

I choked on coffee. <3 It's my punishment for being a derailing derailer

Revenge of the Quinn, Snappy Comeback Edition!

In which Nox is helpful... for once...

“Hello, my Lord,” Quinn’s blue image greeted cordially.

“Is it that time already?” Athra asked blearily.

“It’s four in the evening, my Lord.”

“Don’t you speak in military time?”

“Usually, but I am unsure if you’d be able to perform the math in your current state of awareness. Should we reschedule?”

“I was having a nap after an annoyingly boring Dark Council meeting I attended via holo. Ravage and Nox should just fu-”

“My sister was there?” Quinn asked, interrupting Athra’s impending curse laden rant.

“What? Oh, yes, she was. She mentioned your parents have been in town for two weeks and that things are ‘all clear’. She said you would know what that meant.”

Quinn’s image face-palmed before he regained his composure and slipped into parade rest.

“Can I meet your parents?” asked Athra.

“Can I meet yours?” Quinn shot back.

“You ever want to touch me again?”

“Do you ever want me to touch you again?”

“As of right now, no. And I’ll have you know I have several offers on the table.”

“You wouldn’t…” Quinn said quietly.

“I wouldn’t what? Betray your implicit trust in me?”

Quinn’s mostly calm demeanor changed dramatically. He fell out of parade rest from the shock of her statement and the shame at its truth. He opened his mouth to respond, but every response he thought of fell well short of what he truly wanted to express.

“Something you wish to tell me, Imperial?” Athra asked tonelessly.

“That hurts, my Lord,” Quinn said, his voice raw with emotion, “but I understand. I will contact you before our next session with Jadus. Quinn out.”

His image blipped away before she could reply. Perhaps she had poked him a little too hard. Now she felt bad and she was supposed to be making him feel bad. Damn it. She tried to call him back, but her call was immediately rejected and sent to his message box. She hung up and pouted before deciding to call his sister.

“Darth Nox speaking,” answered Nox. She looked at the caller then smiled thinly. “Wrath, to what do I owe the… whatever the hell?”

“I would like an invitation to your parents’ estate,” Athra said casually.

“Why not ask Malavai?”

“I may have upset him in a small way,” Athra said offhandedly.

“Oh, dear, poor brother,” Nox purred. “Has he left you yet? I have a very interested Imperial Commander who had a crush on him when they were in the academy together.”

“How are things with Talos?”

Nox bristled and stomped her foot. “You shut your face!”

“Oh, dear, is he still using puns in an attempt to seduce you?” Athra purred.

“Malavai has been too busy sulking to speak with Talos,” Nox huffed as she crossed her arms.

“He’s been sulking?” asked Athra.

“Oh, my, yes. That last time he was this upset he…” Nox suddenly realized who she was talking to and snapped her mouth shut. “You’re a sneaky one.”

“I learned from Quinn,” Athra said quietly. “Nox, I need –no – we need your help on this.”

“Oh, fine,” Nox sighed dramatically. “You’re lucky I’m desperate to get Talos to stop with the puns.”

“I’ll remind Quinn to speak with Talos,” Athra said agreeably.

“Make sure that you do. I’ve considered shorting out his voice box with lightning. I’m not sure how that would work, but I’m willing to try anything at this point.”

“Don’t do that. You’d miss his happy squeal.”

“Oh, shut up!” Nox snapped. Her image vanished just as quickly as it had appeared. Athra chuckled at the small holocom in her hand before tossing it to the side and preparing herself for a surprise dinner with the Quinns.

The plot thickens!

Ravage and Nox should just fu-”