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frauzet's Avatar

07.11.2016 , 05:25 PM | #7
Thank you for your feedback guys. You made my day

All I can say is that AUs are a very dangerous thing. Once you start thinking about one, others will pop up.
Small decisions, coincidences, accidents may have a huge impact on ones life. With AUs it's easy to explore those impacts for our characters. Give it a try, and don't say I didn't warn you.

I love writing, but as I mentioned in my headcanon thread I have serious problems to get scenes worked out rn. These small pieces were a way to trick myself into actually writing something instead of editing stuff to death. I am not sure how this is going to work out for the following posts, which will contain conversations. This is an experiment. We will find out.

What I already have found out is that first person present is damned close and intimate. It's my character and it's happening right now. I love it. And with the small pieces, especially in conversations, it feels even more real. Once a bit is posted, it's said and done. Like in a real conversation you can't take it back. (Well, technically I could, but that would be cheating.) Action, reaction. I think about what happens next in the next post. It probably won't surprise you, when I tell you, that it didn't take my characters long to surprise me

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I awaken to a strange irregular rhythm. It takes me a while to recognize it as my heartbeat. Intensity six doesn’t kill me after all. At least not at once. After the majority of my neural pathways, too, wake up, I can’t imagine anyone recommending regular, or prolonged use. Through a haze of pain I identify the jailer’s voice. He tells me I am lucky. I am still needed. Me? Someone must have made a mistake. Whatever! But I am still alive. Can’t say that I care. Death seems cozier right now.

There is someone else talking. Male, if I am not mistaken. The jailer tries to argue. He explains about the intensity settings of the shock collar. Level seven is bound to do permanent damage – immediately. Not advisable if you want someone to be able to walk on their own. Eight and beyond were not implemented to be used on humans. Leaves them with cauliflower for a brain. Not as tasty but as capable of coherent thought. We wouldn’t want that, now, would we? Do I get a vote, too?

“Leave us!” the second person orders. Footfalls, the sound of a door opening and closing. “You are not afraid of death.” The man doesn’t ask. “Level six, huh? Regrettable!”

I share his opinion. My heart gives up on the lepi hop in exchange for something more solemn. The silence stretches on. I am not in a talkative mood. His clothes whisper of movement. I might as well see if my eyes still work.
Author of "Trouble, Destiny and Other Complications" and the AU "Caught"
Participant of the "Short Fic Weekly Challlenge Thread!"
All my stories from TDaOC and SFWC in chronological order