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The Misadventures of the Alabaster Legacy


Ardim

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So, after reading several funny fanfictions on here, I might as well try creating my own :o. Just a note though, I will only be updating this during spare time that I have. So, updates can either be within a short period of time, or as long as weeks. Maybe even longer. I'll have to see. These will be mainly comedic scenes taking place at anytime.

 

Anyways, the unfortunate guinea pig for this will be my Sith Marauder, Isaac.

 

Why am I doing this again?

Because I need a bad*ss for this and you're the only one who's available right now. Skradin's off bounty hunting, Wash is brooding in a dark office somewhere, Rapter's probably in a bed with-

Okay, okay, I get the picture. But you better pay well.

What do you need money for? Vette steal all of your credits again?

No! .... Okay, maybe.

 

This is him :)

http://fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/258/a/e/darth_isaac___updated_by_castiel_the_angel-d5et6s4.jpg

 

Yeah, I'm a bad*ss alright.

Oh shut it before I use my Author Powers on you. Anyways, I’ll throw in my other characters in the future. For now, I'll just be using Isaac :).

 

Timeline: Korriban, The Final Confrontation

 

Note: Contains Sith Warrior story spoilers.

 

 

Note: A thanks to Captain_Zone for creating the idea of Baras being similar to Cartman in South Park :rak_03:

 

It wasn't very hard. After all, he was like a force of nature when enraged, and it just so happens that the unfortunate person in front of him had made him very, very angry.

 

Isaac continued to press the offensive against Baras, driving the much larger man back with a ferocious assault of blade strikes from his dual red lightsabers before unleashing a powerful Force scream that was enough to send the man flying into the air.

 

All eyes in the room fell onto Baras as his ascent ever so slowly began to stop and he soon fell to the ground with a jiggly thud. Some eyes were filled with shock, like Ravage, others were trying to contain their amusement at the sight, like Vowrawn, who was trying very hard not to chuckle, while some were stoic to what is happening, such as Darths Marr and Mortis.

 

Behind Isaac, his entire crew watched the battle unfold.

 

"Five credits on Sithy Boy." Vette whispered to Pierce.

 

"No bet, Tubs over there is guaranteed to lose." the man snorted back quietly.

 

"Did I really try to kill someone as powerful as him?" Quinn thought with shock at how easy Isaac was throwing Baras around.

 

The Imperial officer's mind was still drifting around his earlier attempted betrayal before their venture on Corellia. While Isaac had forgiven him easily for what he did, he still felt extremely guilty. After all, the man was a comrade and like a brother. He treated everyone on the crew with kindness and respect for each of their skills and abilities. To Quinn, Isaac was everything the Empire stood for; strength and honor.

 

The sound of a thunderous slam broke his thoughts and his eyes returned to the fight, seeing Baras on the ground, heavily bruised. The large Sith Lord stood up and ripped off his mask before laughing and sending a stream of Force lightning at his former apprentice. Isaac snapped his lightsabers into a guard stance just in time to block it, sweat forming around his brow as he held the defense.

 

"Had enough, child?" Baras taunted. "Can you feel your grip on life slipping? Why persist in this futile gesture of vengeance? Let go. Embrace your death."

 

Isaac was not amused, "Forget the bravado, Baras. You're breathing much harder than I am."

 

In response, his former master broke off the lightning.

 

"I thought you would appreciate the chance to compose yourself," the large man smirked before turning to one of the Sith Lords sitting off to the side. "Your champion is failing, Vowrawn, and you'll be next."

 

"Is that coming from you, or the Emperor, Cartman?" the elderly Sith returned easily. "It's hard to tell the difference."

 

"Don't mock me, fop!" Baras growled. "And don't you DARE CALL ME THAT!"

 

Vowrawn on the other hand, grinned. "You mad bro?"

 

Vette giggled madly at the words.

 

In reaction, steam came out of Baras' ears as his face turned beet red in response.

 

"Cartman? Is that his real name?" Isaac asked incredulously, turning attention onto him.

 

"It is." Vowrawn replied, still grinning like a maniac.

 

Baras on the other hand, was certainly not amused as he turned back to his former apprentice, "Your patron has just ensured that your suffering will be epic, youngster! Now, DIE!"

 

Isaac's eyes snapped back to Baras, who was sucking in a deep breath of air. Confused, he tilted his head, wondering what he was doing until his mind screamed warnings. But by then, it was too late, as Baras unleashed a ridiculously overpowered attack that practically guaranteed complete and utter death.

 

"RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!!!"

 

Everything in front of Baras practically, for lack of a better word, crumbled. Cracks quickly appeared on the walls, the Imperial banners shredded, and the door to the Dark Council's chambers was blasted away. Isaac's crew ran out of the way as fast as they could as the attack traveled in their direction. The entire chamber shook as the words echoed across the room, but it did not stop there. The sound waves continued onwards, reaching out several miles before finally dissipating.

 

Sith Lords and acolytes in and out the Academy stared into the air in complete and utter shock as the words reached their ears. Lord Abaron's jaw dropped as he heard the words. Poor Overseer Ragate even died of a heart attack in response to the powerful force behind the words. Perhaps she would have lived if the acolytes around her weren't standing there with their jaws wide open.

 

Seeing the destruction, Darth Baras laughed a big hearty laugh while patting his belly. He hooked his lightsaber back onto his belt, took out a cookie, and began to munch on it while waiting for the smoke to clear.

 

Five seconds later, he dropped it in pure shock as a familiar figure appeared. The dust was soon swept aside, revealing a very much alive Isaac, his survival fueled by pure undying rage. One of his lightsabers were gone, his jacket was ripped, and part of his mask was blown off, but he was still standing.

 

"Is that all you have, old man?"

 

Baras quickly began to gather up air for another attack in response. Isaac did not make a move and stood there, smirking. His crew's eyes widened in shock at his apparent stupidity, with Vette screaming at him to run out of the way.

 

"RESPECT MAH AUTH-"

 

He was cut off as a fist slammed into his gut. Baras' stomach crumpled from the strong blow, and he lost his lunch. For a few seconds, there was complete and utter silence and it felt as if time itself slowed from the sheer level of epic in the air. Every single being in the room had shock in the eyes. Marr's eyes were comically widened behind his mask, Ravage's jaw would be touching the ground if it was physically possible, and Thanaton had both of his hands over his mouth.

 

"Oh..." Isaac spoke out quietly as time seemed to resume. "I'm sorry... DID I BREAK YOUR CONCENTRATION!?"

 

With that, he punched Baras in the head with his other fist. Not allowing him a chance to recover, he brought up his left hand and uppercut him in the chin as the man fell back. Baras struggled to get up, but Isaac kicked him hard with his boot over and over until he finally lay there limp.

 

Silence was again filled the air, and once again, Isaac broke it as he looked up, "I am the Emperor's Wrath. And you, Cartman, hover a breath away from destruction. Drink in the faces of your fellows. See your disgrace reflected in their awed eyes."

 

"I..." Baras wheezed, still laying on the ground. "Call upon... The Dark Council... To kill this fool, NOW! The Emperor... COMMANDS IT!"

 

Isaac shook his head, somewhat pitying the man in front of him. Even now, in near death, he still held onto his lie.

 

"I don't think so." he whispered.

 

With that, he activated his lightsaber and plunged it deep into Baras' chest. The Sith Lord gasped once, staring into one of Isaac's revealed eyes, before finally dying.

 

Vowrawn coughed somewhat awkwardly as he gathered his composure before speaking, "You have proven that you are truly touched by the Emperor. The Dark Council knows that the Emperor's Wrath has free reign."

 

"You are acknowledged, Wrath." Marr spoke, also having recovered from his shock. "Your actions will not be challenged as long as they do not contradict our own."

 

"You are answerable only to our ultimate master." Vowrawn spoke again.

 

"Do not expect the status quo, my lords," Isaac pointed a finger at each of the Dark Council members. "Your comfort has come to an end."

 

"As you decree, Wrath," Vowrawn stood up. "Let the enemies of the Empire tremble! The Emperor's Wrath shall consume them all!"

 

Seeing his business finished, Isaac motioned his head at his companions before walking out like a true bad*ss.

 

 

 

 

Hope this wasn't too crappy :D

Edited by Ardim
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RESPECT MAH AUTHORITY!!!!!!

 

Legend has been born here, and its amazing how you can turn the Darth Cartman fight into one of the funniest things i've ever read. keep on writing Ardrim!

 

Hooray, the first positive comment of the thread!

Just don't forget I did all the work.

Yeah... But I control you. The only time you can do stuff on your own is during cutscenes.

Screw you!

You know I'm right. :D

 

.. you lost me when you turned Baras into Cartman. :/

 

 

Captain_Zone compared Cartman from South Park to Darth Baras in another thread. I just took it and ran with it for kicks. Darth Baras' Voice of the Emperor attack (Which has a long buildup) = Cartman saying "RESPECH MAH AUTHORITAH!!!!!"

 

:o

 

Baras:

Fat? Check.

Lazy? Has the SW do all his errands during Chapters 1 and 2. So check.

Manipulative? He's a Sith Lord. So check.

Gluttonous? Unless it's a glandular problem, check.

Selfish? Willing to sacrifice his Apprentice for a seat on the Dark Council instead of sharing the glory with the one who did all his errands during Chapters 1 and 2. Definitely check.

 

Also, he has several "RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!!" moments (especially if you troll him) and even a "Screw you guys, I'm goin' home." moment.... oh, and let's not forget the "SUCK MY B*LLS!!!!!!" moment if you

decide to exile him at the end of Chapter 3.

**

 

** Spoiler added for those who haven't finished the SW story yet. Hit "SHOW" at own risk.

 

When Darth Baras uses his "Voice of the Emperor" power, he's yelling "RESPECT MAH AUTHORITAH!!!!!"

 

 

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  • 10 months later...
.. you lost me when you turned Baras into Cartman. :/

 

B-b-b-bb-b-b-b-b-but... Baras IS Cartman!

 

I wish I could have eaten him..... That would have been all I needed for a week.

 

I bet you do, Khem.

 

Darth Authoritayyyyyy is dead? Cool!

 

Not yet in my story, Vette. We get to kill Cartman AGAIN!

 

Yay!

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