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When I Wake


EverSteam

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Tormen is such a walking dead man.

That he most definitely is. And so are many more people on Corellia. Let the body count get even larger... :D

 

And there's always youtube, Milani. ;)

Though I know it's not the same...

 

 

 

----

 

 

An hour later...

 

 

 

I'm disappointed.

 

Tormen isn't actually in the park. He's in an ordinary meeting room in an Imperial building.

 

He gives me the new target: Police Commissioner Johnah Carter, aka. last target before the Chancellor and Jedi Jun Seros. I can't wait. I want to kill that Jedi. To see him person and not just a miniature holo. And to then squeeze the life out of him as I choke his wrinkled, fleshy neck.

 

I pick up two other jobs in the area too. Hadn't taken any others. Didn't need them. But these promise to be quick and easy. Like taking a stroll through the park.

 

 

-----

 

Straight after...

 

 

 

Park has seen better days. At least I'm assuming some thirty odd years ago it had seen better days.

 

Layout seems similar to the one in my district on the other side of the planet. Mine had been a little larger as houses were more expensive and sparse. The park there had stretched like green tentacles of trees, grass and flowers down the neat streets until it merged with the plains outside the city where it skirted farmlands until the green turned to white as they reached the mountains that watched over our city. The sea and golden beaches laid to the other end of the city. Our city needed nothing to complete its beauty and I wondered from an early age what made my parents leave so frequently to go to the capital that seemed so far away.

 

But then war came as it does to everywhere. I saw it as an adventure at first, as all Corellian's see things and thought my family and I could beat the ever growing odds that we were going to die here. But they couldn't and the real adventure began. And I never thought about it like that again.

 

I remember my parents telling me the boy I had been suited to was dead a few weeks before they died. Wonder if they were alive, if their belief in Corellian tradition would still be true. And if it was, how they would feel about me marrying an outsider let alone a Mando'ad. But these are only fanciful thoughts that I don't care about the answers to. Memories are sparse and what I have is useless. No point in thinking of the life I might have led because it would have been a worthless life. I would have had no Torian.

 

The General took me to Coronet City. But my time was spent on the edges near a forest and never saw these parts of the city. Already see too many memories in these similar and unvisited streets. Wish I could stop them coming. Wish I could stop remembering my parents. But what I wish more is that I could stop remembering the General. He's dead but still torturing me.

 

There are escaped wildlife from what somehow passed as a zoo and it seems this park has become their new home. As we kill them and walk through the burning trees, we talk. Reminds me of the day on Belsavis when he asked me to dinner. Already seems like a decade ago.

 

'What do you think of the title 'Ravager'? I kind of like it,' I comment as we fight another seleen, glancing frequently at Torian's serious and thrilled face.

 

Torian shrugs a little as he ducks around the infected seleens jaws. 'Not bad. Sums everything up.'

 

I release a rocket and the seleen dies on impact. I stand and beam up at him as he steps closer, twisting something on his techstaff. 'My thoughts exactly,' I reply. He returns the smile. Yes. He is perfect.

 

'Tired of the title of Cadera already?' he casually comments, swinging his staff in one hand as we begin to walk through the park again. I laugh and jump in front of him, walking backward. He only looks to the left and avoids my eyes.

 

'Tired of having me as your wife already?' I return and he frowns a little. He looks into my eyes and takes a larger step to stand closer to me. I only walk back quicker and turn around, running away. He chases me and I let him catch me after a while.

 

He kisses me hard on the lips and wraps his arms around me tightly. 'Never, Cyare' he mumbles against my lips.

 

I kiss him back and wish I could tell him how happy those words make me. How happy he makes me. But here on this planet, I can't say it. I'm scared that when this planet hears it, it will take all my happiness away. And I don't think I could stand that again.

 

 

-----

 

Few hours later approaching dusk...

 

 

 

Wasn't hard to find the police commissioner in the large palace. When we do, he's all arrogance and bravado.

 

'Come to finish what they started?' He turns from the large statues he had been admiring that stand at the end of the long and vast hall. Rather theatrical place. Obviously specifically chosen for it's very effect and large moving space. Wouldn't be surprised if there's an ambush waiting on the balcony that looks down on this ceremony area.

 

'Go on. Kill me,' he goads when I don't speak. 'Citizens will be rioting in the street before nightfall.'

 

'I don't care. And I think your mistaken if you believe they do.' I shrug. 'Not here to kill you, either. If I was, you'd be dead. How did you come to be Comissioner when you seem to get so many things wrong?' I pause and pretend to think about it a bit. Then I snap my fingers and point at him. 'You bought the position, right?' I look at his insulted expression and shake my head. 'Or is it a case of friends in a high place?' The expression vanishes and I sneer at him.

 

'No, you don't want to kill me.'

 

'I know. I just told you that,' I reply impatiently.

 

'You just look like another greedy, amoral scum, here to sell me to the highest bidder. Imperials, I'd bet.' He continues as if I hadn't spoken and I think that's how he deals with everyone. The motion of stabbing his finger in my direction dislodges a clump of dark brown hair and he smoothly pushes it back into place. Having neat hair doesn't make him easier on the eyes or hide his age any better. Around forty I think but likes to think he looks younger and still has enough charm to obtain any woman he wants.

 

'Yep, that's basically everything on the list,' I reply as my assessment quickly runs through my mind, my ears still straining to hear any movements from above or around. 'Though you forgot charming, incredible, amazing, Grand Champion of the Great Hunt and, the most important, deadly.'

 

He laughs and boasts of the failed attempts on his life. I only slowly extend my knives as I listen to him and look into their reflection. He keeps talking and tells us how everyone has wanted to kill the most honest commissioner this part of Corellia had seen in years. Not a very high standard. That might just mean he doesn't hide what he does or covers it better than others.

 

I never went to the police when I was in my home city or here in Coronet City. They wouldn't do anything. After all, it was sometimes their men that rapped me. He is no different.

 

I can now hear the ambush land on the roof. Almost in the room as well. They fan out. They're going to throw down a grenade. I motion up to Torian and whisper 'jehavey'ir' and 'goore.' Ambush. Grenade. He moves back a little and to the side. The commissioner pretends to not realise and concludes his speech.

 

'You want to try your luck, baby doll?'

 

I flinch at the name I've always heard in between grunts and beatings. This man is just like them.

 

I don't think Carter notices my eye widen, my breathing quicken. But Torian does. His heart beats quicker but he doesn't move to me. He knows I am stronger than that. Carter just continues: 'be my guest. But I've got one thing to ask you first.'

 

'Don't. Call me. 'Doll'.' I don't scream it but I don't need to. Carter takes an instinctive step back and when he hears the order, he's a second too late to entirely clear the explosion.

 

I draw my gun and leap to the side as a grenade falls from above. I roll and crouch on the balls of my feet once the explosion ends. Torian is just as quick and ready on the other side of the room. Three are down before the Commissioner is even standing. The rest was easy. I stand over the Commissioners damaged body and beat it. I don't need a weapon for this. My fists are enough and I let this be a brutal, amateur thing.

 

Torian comes and lays a hand on my shoulder. It is firm. I lower my fists and nod. I breathe deep. I let the rage exit my body like carbon dioxide and pull out my holo with a steady hand. I call Tormen. He's already waiting for me. He has my reward.

 

I'm ready.

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A few hours later...

 

 

It's night already. We stay in an abandoned house. Reminds me of my old days. We set up traps around the entrances and roof top. Can never be too sure. I'll still sleep with one eye open. Don't have a choice.

 

This time tomorrow, we will be with Torian's friends. Sleeping before a battle. I brought enough serum for four days. I don't want to be out that long, though. I've taken some extra for tomorrows fight. Not sure if I'll need but I don't want to take the chance. Rather die earlier but still live to see the end of tomorrow.

 

We eat some rations. They're not great but still better then the droids cooking. We speak in Mando'ad about the days to come after tomorrow. We don't need to talk about tomorrow. We have a plan. We have a chance. And I feel we will have victory. It is not tomorrow we die. I have a feeling our end has already been written.

 

'By the way, I bought you something,' I comment as I'm brought back to now by Torian's constant gaze and small smile.

 

I turn from Torian's arms and pick up the package I received in the mail. It's large and I only carried it the last hour to this house. I move back from him so I can put it between us.

 

'Thought you might like it.' I turn and put on a large loose shirt that doubles as some sort of dress as he begins to open the crate. Feel a little giddy giving him this and it makes me feel a little vulnerable. The shirts not armour but I think it will do.

 

Inside the crate, is a beskar breast plate. It's dark blue and green. Had that done just for him. Just because we're going to be fighting for our lives, doesn't mean I can't enjoy the show. I watch the subtle shift of his features and feel warmed by what I see: the disbelief that widens his pupils makes me grin like a pitiable fool and the happy twitch of his lips makes my blood run quicker.

 

'How'd you get it?' He asks as he fingers run the edges of the armour.

 

I roll my eye juvenilely. But the motion brings back memories of a younger me and I try not scowl. 'No 'thank you, my magnificent Grand Champion'?' I ask with what I think is a convincing smile.

 

He leans over the crate and kisses me hard. It would have been an awkward thing to try if anyone else had done it but he moves with a balance and assurance that stops him from missing and falling.

 

'Suppose that's thanks enough. For now,' I reply with a grin after he moves back again. He smiles and tries it on with an intent frown. He tests his arm movement and twists his body around various angels. He nods his head on occasion and I can tell he's impressed with craftsmanship of it. I'm pleased because it cost me more than a fair bit.

 

'Still want to know how I got it or do you like it too much to care?' I ask with a smile. But my happiness is damped now by memories and I don't know how to dry my mind again.

 

'Depends what you had to do to get it,' he replies seriously as he sits back down. Such cautious worry I can't help but reply how I do.

 

'I slaughtered defencelessness innocents in honourless battles to reach it where I cheated at a grand duel and looted it from their corpse before it was cold,' I respond with convincing gravity.

 

Torian frowns at me and I laugh. I know I shouldn't tease him like that. It's just too tempting. And I like the way his disapproving grimace shifts his features. But I'm irrationally afraid he will leave somehow and I will have nothing but pain without even the condolence of the mocking thoughts of 'I told you so'. It's so strong it makes me doubt my faithful Mando. This planet is twisting things and whispering memories of the same look but a different man into my bleeding ears.

 

And I do this for Torian. So that he will later be able to think 'she told me so'.

 

'I'm joking, Torian. Only had to kill three people.' He looks at me searchingly and I can see doubt in his eyes. It hurts a lot and I laugh like I used to. Guess at the end I'm a broken gun that might shoot the one holding it as much as it might shoot its enemies.

 

'I didn't kill anyone to get it, cadur.' I reach out a hand to touch his scars and I look into his eyes with less amusement and more solemnity. I can't tell him how the look of suspicion and caution breaks my heart. Because somehow, my heart always heals enough to repeat this over and over again; the pain's an addiction I can't break because I'm scared the withdrawal and abstinence will end up hurting me so much more. This planet is f*ucking me up.

 

'I have my strings and ways, remember?' I continue as relief flows across his frown. 'You forget I'm Mandalore's adopted daughter and Grand Champion, with infinite charm and charisma. And ammunition. And lots of credits. Mainly the last.'

 

'Hope there's as many Jedi as you promised then,' he replies with a vicious smile, my teasing already forgotten and forgiven.

 

'I never promised a precise number but... I'm thinking... at least twenty. Enough for you?'

 

'Never. But plus five and I might be happier.'

 

'See what I can do then,' I respond with a grin. I move the crate away with my foot and move closer to him, my body acting on its own as my mind is lodged in the past with no way out. 'Can't have you being unhappy.'

 

We don't spend anymore of the night talking. I lie awake till morning and when the sun rises I find my self quietly whispering into Torian's ear. He smiles a little in his sleep and pulls me closer. I'll need to wake him soon but I can't at this moment. I just want to remember this. I just want to cling to this feeling. Because I feel the planet slowly taking it from me.

 

'I love you.'

 

 

 

 

-----

 

 

 

Well... that made me sad...

 

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The next day....

 

 

 

I meet Tormen early morning. He requested I watch the surrender of the Republic to Imperial control, gesturing to the seat next to him with I smile I know too well. It has a grand view of the captives surrender down on a stage below. But this performance is only the opening to the play this war will be.

 

I have no interest in this victory or in being Tormen's new toy. I only demand the information regarding the location of Jun Seros. And with it, I will gain access to the location of the Chancellor. He begrudgingly gives me the information and I know I will not find leaving the next time we meet as easy as I have now.

 

I carve through the Jedi like a knife through butter, Torian at my side all the way. There was only nineteen Jedi. Torian glances at me and I know he's thinking the same thing. I make circular motion with my finger to indicate there's still time. He smiles a little and then keeps his eyes ahead. All of me is focusing on what is ahead.

 

When I find Jun Seros, he is with other Knights. He tells them to leave as we approach. 'Do your part to liberate Corellia. This is a private matter.'

 

'I'd take all the help you can get, Jedi.' I sneer at him. But he only ignores the jibe and keeps silence until they leave.

 

'You're persistent. Stubborn. I suppose that is why you excel at what you do. But the price is high. What won't a Mandalorian put aside for pride?' His voice is deep and calm, like all Jedi. It is young and at odds with his old and wrinkled body.

 

'It's called honour. What I do is who I am. And I would face death head on for those I care about.' I am ferocious. Everything has led to this moment and this moment will lead to one of my greatest: all that I am and all that I ever was is here and now, and they are bent on killing this Jedi and his precious Chancellor.

 

And I would die for Torian without a thought. Jedi know nothing of love. They are only righteous and cold tools used to ineffectively meet an idealistic and impossible state.

 

'But would you kneel?' he responds. His voice sounds like a challenge to who I am: it rings with a certainty that he knows me and what my greatest weakness is. But my greatest weakness isn't pride. Tormen knows it and I think that shows the difference between Jedi and Sith: Jedi look to traits as weaknesses where as Sith look to the people around you. And that is why Torian cannot be with me when I face Tormen - no matter how strong he is, he will cause my death.

 

'Always,' I reply with a certainty that doesn't faze him on the surface. I have cast aside the memory of my defiance of the Dread Masters. I will cast aside everything to hold to the belief I would do anything for Torian.

 

He continues as if I hadn't spoken. 'You chose to murder Kellian Jarro, just like you chose to kill all those that were sent to bring you to justice. You could have surrendered at any time. You chose to become a murderer and terrorist. I only turned that senseless destruction towards a righteous purpose.'

 

'I prefer Ravager. And your Republic is what made me what I am. I only chose to stop following orders.'

 

He doesn't like the attack. It wounds his own pride. But he repeats what he has been telling himself. Makes Jedi corruption easier for them: 'if using you to expose the Sith's true face has dirtied my hands, so be it.' The greater good. What a load of crap.

 

The battle is long. But Torian and I fight as one: truly and completely like we never had before. I see how much he has improved in the last months. He meets the Jedi blow for blow and then some. I am in awe. But I will never let him know that. There's only one thing he could have to make him my equal and possibly better. I wonder if he realises that.

 

Jun Seros lies dying at our feet after I shot through his defences and Torain took the opening to cut him down. Seros tries to take it in his stride like all Jedi. Thinks he has a victory and I think he means whatever his friends were in a such a hurry to leave for. But they don't matter to me. And I win in all ways.

 

'I wouldn't be so sure of that.' I squat down in front of him and smile like we're chums. 'See, your life is only the first thing I'm going to take from you and it hasn't even been the first. After this, I'm going to take your honour and name and destroy it. Then, using this,' I reach inside his robe and pull out when I need, 'I'm going to stop off at the Supreme Chancellor's. I decided I want his head. And you just delivered it right to me. Thank you so very, very much.'

 

He is shocked at being so completely outplayed and wants to rise and rant. But I tug him back down and smile at his withering form. Taking everything from him before he dies is enough. I don't need to do anymore.

 

I extend my blade and turn him onto his back, my boot to his chest. My grin widens and I have nothing left to say to him. So I slit his throat and walk away.

 

 

 

In an alternate universe...

 

Important Note:

 

This is just something that took my fancy and since I spent a good half hour on it, I decided to post it as being part of a wonderful alternate universe where the TOR Encyclopedia/codex entries/time/race/personality has no meaning. And an alternate universe where I have no plans for everything.

Please keep my knowledge of impossibilities of this in mind while reading so you don't hate me or stop reading. ;)

This will also never be referenced again so you can wipe it from your mind if you don't like it.

Enjoy. :)

 

 

 

 

I meet Tormen early morning. He requested I watch the surrender of the Republic to Imperial control, gesturing to the seat next to him with I smile I know too well. The balcony seat has a grand view of the captives surrender down on a stage below. But this performance is only the opening to the play this war will be: this planet is only one of the many stage sets.

 

I have no interest in this victory or in being Tormen's new toy. I only demand the information regarding the location of Jun Seros. And with it, I will gain access to the location of the Chancellor. He begrudgingly gives me the information and I know I will not find leaving him the next time we meet as easy as I have now.

 

I carve through the Jedi like a knife through butter, Torian at my side all the way. There was only nineteen Jedi. Torian glances at me and I know he's thinking the same thing. I make a circular motion with my finger to indicate there's still time. He smiles a little and then keeps his eyes ahead. All of me is focusing on what is ahead. For the first time since Mako gave me the news, I am focusing on it.

 

When I find Jun Seros, he is with other Knights. He tells them to leave as we approach. 'Do your part to liberate Corellia. This is a private matter.'

 

'I'd take all the help you can get, Jedi.' I sneer at him. But he only ignores the jibe and keeps silence until they leave. I see the same twisted devotion to the Jedi in him that his father had to the Republic.

 

So this is his first born? I inspect him now and I hate how quickly my blood pumps fear through me. My eyes takes in his tall and strong form, with strong muscles hidden under his robe. His skin which was most likely naturally pale, is now dark and prematurely wrinkled from the sun. But it doesn't hide his youth or make him much less handsome. He smoothly pushes back his hood as he continues to watch his companions leave. His black hair is tied back and I see he has the same coloured eyes as his mother. Only his hair resembles his fathers. The Jedi may have taken away his family name but he is still their child. And I'm positive he knows it.

 

'You're persistent. Stubborn. I suppose that is why you excel at what you do. But the price is high. What won't a Mandalorian put aside for pride?' His voice is deep and calm, like all Jedi. It is old and at odds with his young eyes and body.

 

'It's called honour. What I do is who I am. And I would face death head on for those I care about.' I am ferocious. Everything has led to this moment and this moment will lead to one of my greatest: all that I am and all that I ever was is here and now, and they are bent on killing this Jedi and his precious Chancellor.

 

And I would die for Torian without a thought. Jedi know nothing of love. They are only righteous and cold tools used to ineffectively meet an idealistic and impossible state.

 

'But would you kneel?' he responds. His voice sounds like a challenge to who I am: it rings with a certainty that he knows me and what my greatest weakness is. But my greatest weakness isn't pride. Tormen knows it and I think that shows the difference between Jedi and Sith: Jedi look to traits as weaknesses where as Sith look to the people around you. And that is why Torian cannot be with me when I face Tormen - no matter how strong he is, he will cause my death.

 

'Always,' I reply with a certainty that doesn't faze him on the surface. I have cast aside the memory of my defiance of the Dread Masters. I will cast aside everything to hold to the belief I would do anything for Torian.

 

He continues as if I hadn't spoken. 'You chose to murder Kellian Jarro, just like you chose to kill all those that were sent to bring you to justice. You could have surrendered at any time. You chose to become a murderer and terrorist. I only turned that senseless destruction towards a righteous purpose.'

 

'I prefer Ravager. And your Republic is what made me what I am. I only chose to stop following orders.' I force a righteous anger I don't feel when I say 'killing my associates and slinging mud is far from noble.' I spread my hands wide. 'All I see, is a lot more senseless destruction.'

 

He doesn't like the attack. It wounds his own pride. But he repeats what he has been telling himself. Makes Jedi corruption easier for them: 'if using you to expose the Sith's true face has dirtied my hands, so be it.' The greater good. What a load of crap.

 

'Really? Because I was led to believe that this was all very, very personal. How long have you been waiting for me to kill a figure large enough like Kellian Jaro? How long have you wanted to kill me? Since I killed your father? Or since he first ****ed me?' His eye twitches at the first and his fists clench at the second. I'm guessing the later is news to him. I wonder how much he knows briefly but I it's irrelevant.

 

I feel Torian stiffen near me and I regret my words. I never told Torian of what Mako found. But even without the information, I would know the General's first born on sight. Feel I should make a resolve to tell Torian everything after we kill Seros but I know I want be keeping that. I can't talk about the living. And I wouldn't know what to say. It isn't need to know.

 

Seros' eyes narrow at me and I smile with a raised eyebrow. 'That's not very Jedi like of you. Blood thicker than water?'

 

He scowls at me and I see a charade drop for a second and self control fall. But he quickly recovers and I see his lips moving to the words of the Jedi code. They won't save him. And I take my chance to attack.

 

The battle is long. But Torian and I fight as one: truly and completely like we never had before. I see how much he has improved in the last months. He meets the Jedi blow for blow and then some. I am in awe. But I will never let him know that. There's only one thing he could have to make him my equal and possibly better. I wonder if he realises that.

 

Jun Seros lies dying at our feet after I shot through his defences and Torain took the opening to cut him down. Seros tries to take it in his stride like all Jedi. Thinks he has a victory and I think he means whatever his friends were in a such a hurry to leave for. But they don't matter to me. And I win in all ways.

 

'I wouldn't be so sure of that.' I squat down in front of him and smile like we're chums. 'See, your life is only the first thing I'm going to take from you and it hasn't even been the first. After this, I'm going to take your honour and name and burn it for all to see the cold and disgusting core that's inside you. Then, using this,' I reach inside his robe and pull out when I need, 'I'm going to stop off at the Supreme Chancellor's. I decided I want his head. And you just delivered it right to me. Thank you so very, very much.'

 

He is shocked at being so completely outplayed and wants to rise and rant. But I tug him back down and smile at his withering form. Taking everything from him before he dies is enough. I don't need to do anymore. But I still feel like gloating. And I have a few unanswered questions.

 

'How did you know I killed him?' He doesn't answer at first and I grab his jaw in my free hand like I have so many times with some many others. 'A force bond?' He only stares at me with despair and his lips move to the speakings of the Jedi code. 'How many do you have a force bond with?'

 

His pupils dilate and I know there must be at least one more. By simple elimination, I know which one it is. I find that very, very interesting. 'Tell them I'm coming for them next.'

 

I extend my blade and turn him onto his back, my boot to his chest, his ribs cracking under its pressing weight. My grin widens and I have nothing left to say to him. So I slit his throat and smile at the thought that I only have three more to go.

Edited by EverSteam
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This gives some extra meaning to it.

I thought so too. :cool:

Ooooooo. I love that AU Twist <3 <3 <3

:o

 

 

 

Around five hours later...

 

 

 

 

When we reach the Grand Assembly room, the Jedi from before are there. Seems this was their mission. If I'd cared enough to think about it, I might have guessed. As we approach the two who stand guard at the entrance to the hall, each side with weapons drawn, I look to Torian.

 

'Told you there was still time,' I say with a crafty smile, walking at a slow pace.

 

'Never doubted you,' he replies with a small smile that's a little distant. His eyes only watch the Jedi and sum them up. I can tell he's already forming strategies and play from there mere Jedi's stance and grip. Wish I could take credit for that.

 

'Which one do you want, manda?' I ask curiously.

 

'Left.'

 

'The woman?' He gives a sharp nod and continues to evaluate her. I narrow my eyes at her and look her up and down for reasons other than her stance and weapons. 'Why? Taken a fancy to her?'

 

'In a way.'

 

'Fine. Bet I can finish both of them alone in two minutes, though.' They are almost in shooting range and I wonder why they haven't moved. They only cast arrogant and uninterested eyes over us and see us as already dead. I suppose I'm looking at them in the same way.

 

'Not a fair wager, Cyare. And you still owe me five Jedi.'

 

'I'll let you have the both then,' I reply as I stop walking. He only continues steadily down the hall, his eyes not leaving his opponents. 'You have three minutes, Torian,' I call after him.

 

He jumps to them before my sentence ends.

 

I watch his form and movements with a critical eye. But more than that, I watch his timing. His reflexes are quick and his timing impossible. The Jedi look confused and surprised as his movements predict theirs better than they can predict his. He beats them in two minutes with twenty four seconds to spare.

 

I slowly clap and approach him as he stands not even out of breath above them.

 

'Kandosii! And a spare twenty four seconds.' I stand next to him and look down at their bodies. Then my attention is drawn back to him. Slightly proud but nothing extraordinarily so. Still want to make sure he doesn't get a big head.

 

'Though your balance was slightly off fifty-six seconds in when the Jedi moved like this,' I repeat the motion with my arms, 'which left and availability for the other Jedi to do this,' I do another motion, lightly hitting his arm where he raised to block his chest. 'Attacking there would have pushed you back too far on your heels and cause you to shift your feet like this,' I move my feet to show, 'to counteract it. Would have been easy then for you to be pushed down. But luckily he didn't.' I swiftly kiss his lips.

 

He nods and smiles. 'Still owe me three Jedi, Champion.' Though he doesn't comment on my pointers and critique, I know he filed the information away for later.

 

I grin up at him. 'Well, there should be at least that many somewhere around here. Reason would point to Tormen being their goal. We must stop them.' Torian glances at me and nods once. I extend my blades and look at them with brutal a'den.

 

'Mando'ad draar digu,' I whisper. I walk on before Torian can reply and I don't meet the look he gives me. 'A Mando'ad never forgets.'

 

When we walk into the Grand Assembly area, Tormen and a Jedi are fighting on the stage. I lean my elbows onto the balcony ledge and casually watch. I feel Torian slip from my side and assume he went to kill the three Jedi to the left of the room.

 

Another tries to attack Tormen from behind. I shoot her in the back. He's mine to kill. And he's still useful. So busy watching them fight I let down my guard. Didn't hear the Jedi drop from the ceiling. So I was surprised when I was force pushed from behind over the ledge and find myself on my back below, looking up to the Jedi that standing on the balconies ledge.

 

The Jedi ignites his lightsaber and leaps down towards me. But he is hit off course.

 

Torian.

 

He jumps over me and shoots the Jedi in the chest before he even had a chance to stand. I smile. Knew I told him to always carry a blaster for a reason.

 

Torian offers me his hand. 'Copaani gaan?'

 

I take it, smiling. Seems he won't be the death of me yet.

 

'Vor entye,' I say to Torian as I stand on my feet, our toes touching.

 

'Always got your rear, Cyare.' He kisses my forehead softly and I smile back.

 

'Then tion'ad hukaat'kama?'

 

He frowns in a serious way I know too well: no room for concession or moveability. 'Don't need anyone too. "Jatnese be te jatnese", remember?' A small teasing smile appears at the edge of his lips.

 

I shake my head and grin back at him. 'Can't disagree with you there.' I touch his cheek lightly and look into his eyes. 'Always got your back too, ner Torian. Two way thing, remember?'

 

He nods but my attention is drawn away from Torian and to Tormen's battle. Darth Tormen's opponent becomes distracted by his comrades death. And the Sith takes his chance. He kicks the Jedi away, and theatrically cracks his neck before killing the Jedi.

 

'I did not see Seros. I assume you took care of him.' He walks slowly to me. This fight has told me a great deal. Darth Tormen is not as strong as he likes to show through his theatrics. Typical Sith. His lightsaber form relied on brute force and left holes in his defences which would be open to blaster fire or close range attacks if swift enough.

 

'Yes. I had no problem dispatching my Jedi.' I openly sneer at his face and he doesn't look at me with indulgence. But he doesn't threaten Torian and i hear his quick heart rate. The battle against the Jedi tired him. Interesting.

 

'Only a Jedi would call something this fragile 'Battlemaster.'' He looks scornfully at the pad in his hand.

 

'I don't know. Killed my share of Sith in my time,' I reply casually.

 

He retorts angrily, 'then they were weak. The Sith are stronger for their deaths.'

 

I smirk thinly. He ignores it and continues, but his dismissal tells me I have tried his patience enough and he only wants me to leave him. I file this away for later. Tormen will contact us when he has extracted the data he needs to plan the attack on the Chancellor.

 

I begin to walk but pause and call to Tormen over my shoulder: 'I saved your life, Tormen. But I won't ever hesitate to take it.' I keep walking and Tormen doesn't reply.

 

When we walk outside, I grin to Torian over my shoulder.

 

'Twenty six Jedi. Enough for you?'

 

He shakes his head and returns my grin. His hair is messed up and sticking up and out of shape. I like it like that. His eyes shine brightly from battle but he isn't tired. 'Never.'

 

I look to the sky and smile. The sun is about to set.

 

'Good. Race you to the taxi?'

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A few hours later after dusk...

 

 

We're laughing when we reach the Mando'ad camp.

 

Two Mando's Torian doesn't know are on watch at the entrance. They almost bar our way, but our laughter drew out Corridan. He gives us the ok and tells us to follow him, his expression stern and dark. I study the man who leads us and take note of the lines around his mouth and see it is used to express polar ends of emotions. Time more than nature has led the harsh creases that make him appear older than the forty odd years he is. Despite the lines and prominent cheek bones, nature gave him the advantage of beauty that experience has tempered though not removed.

 

Corridan stops once out of ear shot of the guards. Torian and Corridan look at each other for a long moment and then embrace quickly. Corridan draws back and clasps his hand on Torian's forearms for a moment, slightly shaking him. Torian stands a little taller than the older man and I see a concern for Torian that comes close to fatherly in Corridan's eyes. Anyone that looks at Torian like that is on their way to being fine by me.

 

Corridan turns to me and though starring into my eye, addresses Torian. 'So this is Torian Cadera's wife?' Corridan asks with amusement. Torian moves to my side.

 

'Torian Cadera's wife? Is that my title? A little long, don't you think, alor'ad Corridan Ordo?' I say with a raised eye brow and hostility. Difference between being fine and on their way to being fine.

 

'Wife has some bite, Torian.' He grins and I feel myself taking a liking to this man. 'Call me Corridan,' he says with a wink before continuing. ''Torian Cadera is already taken and I don't think 'wife' suits a woman like you. What would you like to be called, Champion?'

 

'Grand Champion, Corridan Ordo. What do you think would suit a woman like me?' I ask dangerously. Corridan misses the tone but it makes Torian edge closer. 'I think Torian Cadera's wife is suitable,' I ad with certainty making Torian smile a little down at me.

 

I can tell this is the best way to talk to a man like Corridan and raises me in his opinion more than any 'nice' pleasantries could. Guess Torian wasn't wrong when he said Corridan would only try to impress.

 

'I thought that it was a little long,' he retorts with a wide, open smile. Though it reaches his eyes and cause small, spidery wrinkles, I can tell he is just at home with glares and grimaces. Seems there is no middle ground with such a man and see he would be just as quick to anger than to happiness.

 

'I can think of few shorter, nicer names if you prefer,' Corridan smoothly continues. 'The wanted posters really don't do you justice.' He smiles flirtatiously and I suddenly feel myself missing my Devaronian. The whelming emotion doesn't leave me more surprised but it causes a lot of self-mockery. I laugh at myself when I think of how much Gault would love this. He hasn't even been gone a week. And Torian would hate it.

 

I look to Corridan's hands with my fake eye and notice a whiter line along one finger. See he used to be married but isn't anymore. By how darkened the line is I approximate it's been many years since he removed it. Assume the only thing possible and that she's dead. Guess there might be more to it if he doesn't wear the ring. Or it might just be a painful reminder he'd rather not walk with.

 

I raise an eyebrow at last remark and glance at Torian. Torian stands a little straighter and proud, wrapping an arm around me but remains silent.

 

'I'm sure you say that to all the girls,' I reply dryly. He laughs and I allow myself a smirk.

 

'Only the pretty ones,' Corridan replies. Torian frowns at the older and shorter man but stays silent and watches him with warning.

 

'And your reputation hardly does you justice,' I return with an amused and doubting smirk.

 

Corridan looks horrified and glances back to Torian, the raised eyebrows rippling his forehead into four round waves. 'What have you been telling your wife about me, Torian? Do I need to teach you a lesson like back on Dxun?'

 

'Nothing you don't deserve,' Torian replies with a frown. 'Like to see you try it again. Only going to end the same,' though his frown stays his tone is slightly tending to the joking.

 

Corridan chuckles in reply and says we better join the others. He ushers us into the largest tent that goes into a half destroyed house. There's a long table down the middle and it is well lit, the heavy tent keeping the light from shining through the night.

 

Ten Mandalorians sit on each side of the table. Most are men but I count seven women. Eight if I include the one outside. I quickly scan them. Five are ugly with disfigured noses from poorly healed breaks are not the only glaringly horrendous features of their faces. However, the other two are pretty. More than pretty. I force down the overwhelming feeling of disgust at myself and a feeling close to repulsive jealousy.

 

Corridan takes a seat at the head and nothing remains of the flirting and caring man I met outside the tent. Corridan has become who he needs to be in here: a stern and respected alor'ad.

 

Torian sits to Corridan's right: I sit next to Torian. Torian is proud of such a seat but he hides it well and sits with an unaware ease. Jogo, who sits across from us, is scowling as hard as usual and I see the same disgust reflected in other faces. But the others seem happy to see him, including the women. Nice to know things went up for Torian. He deserves it. I ignore the curious looks I receive.

 

Corridan introduces me to others and I file their names away along with their faces. Most are clan Ordo and there are no others from clan Cadera.

 

Corridan fills us in on the strategy for tomorrows assault on a government complex. High profile politician is inside. We make a traditional Mando'ad toast and the duties of the night are divided. Torian and I are to take watches. Torian is to be the midnight to three: I am three to dawn. I know Corridan has done this deliberately. But I don't mind. I think I will be able to live through twenty four hours without having Torian.

 

We go with the others to the destroyed hall where everyone is to sleep. We sleep until Torian takes his watch.

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Thank you! :D

Was kind of wondering what people were thinking since I was seeing views and no comments....

Thanks :)

I'm really enjoying this. Not much new showing up on fanfiction.net for TOR, so this is great that I can get more Torian. Your BH is quite different from mine in temperament. But that makes it a very nice change. Keep up the writing.

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I'm really enjoying this.

I'm glad :)

this is great that I can get more Torian.

Because there's no such thing as having enough Torian ;)

Keep up the writing.

Will do :)

 

 

----

 

Later that night...

 

 

'Only me, Torian.'

 

I hear a few movements. Torian putting away a blaster or moving from the hold he had on Corridan. Not sure. My hearing isn't that good. And they didn't give me x ray vision. Not the first time I've wished for it. Don't know how it slipped their minds when they remember so many other things.

 

I've stayed awake in the bed we share on the ground since Torian changed for the watch. Want to be awake and ready encase something happens. Doubt anything will thought. I don't need as much sleep as other people. So I can go without some tonight. Besides, earliest night Torian and I have had almost since he came aboard. Not sure how long it has been since then.

 

I hear a few movements and assume it's Torian returning to his post and possibly Corridan joining him.

 

'Ready for tomorrow?' Corridan. They speak Mando'a.

 

I find it hard to keep my hearing focused on something so far away while translating consciously at the same time. Not hard enough to turn the translator on though. I feel that using one... ability on this toxic, insidious planet will lead to me using more until I lose myself and become what they made me to be. I want anything but that: I want to be me for as long as I can.

 

'Definetly.'

 

'Did good on the last op. Glad to have you on this one. And your wife.'

 

They are silent for a while.

 

'She's impressive: everything you said and more. Weren't exaggerating her beauty. Look forward to seeing her fight.' There's a pause. 'Don't give me that look. Your trophy, kid. I'm merely admiring.'

 

I hear Torian make a noise like a 'hmph' and a chuckle. Not sure I like being referred to as an object in this way. Before I can stop it, my knives make the decision for me. They extend from my wrists quickly and cut through the sheets, one grazing my thigh. I withhold a curse and focus on listening to the two men. However, I feel like Corridan wouldn't be talking so much if there wasn't a point.

 

'Got more than a few jealous. You've chosen well, kid. Don't think there's better than Mandalore's daughter and Grand Champion of the Great Hunt in one. And the best damn looking woman I've seen in a while despite-' Corridan's sentence stops there and I'm assuming it was followed by a gesture, most likely to the face. I'm not insulted or angry. The words only hit dead skin and healed sores.

 

'Admire with your eyes only.' Torian's voice is strong with firm warning. Still feel a warm rush when I hear him speak Mando'a: his timbre smoother, language more fluent and voice deeper. Guess he really does get tongue tied speaking basic.

 

Corridan laughs. It's a low, rumbling sound. 'It's not you I'd be worried about. Seems like she's the kind that would shoot me if I do either.' Corridan's voice is rough and coarse compared to Torian's and I don't prefer it.

 

'She is.' Torian's tone is definite: the voice of a man who has no doubt or uncertainty. Seen enough to know, I suppose. But there's pride in his voice. Not sure if I really do like it. I've had a man proud of my readiness to kill before and I'm not sure I really want it again. I don't dare shake my head encase I miss something but I still find it curious that this has never bothered me earlier.

 

'Like that in a woman. Makes me wonder how you got her to marry you,' Corridan continues casually.

 

'Ask myself that every day. Surprised I'm alive.' Torian's trust to this man makes me more than a little jealous. Want the same confidence with him that he has with Corridan. But I know what hurts is hearing it. Torian's blunt honesty hits somewhere raw. Guess it's not that he's thinking it; it's more how horribly right he is. I can protect Torian's life from others but I'm from being able to protect him from myself.

 

'But worth it. Do anything to for her or to protect her no matter the cost. Not that she would ever need it. Holds her own and then some better than anyone I've ever met. Could beat you easy in a fight, old man.' Torian's voice has that teasing lilt at the end and it makes me smile.

 

Corridan chuckles. 'I don't doubt it.' I can hear an almost clapping sound. I think it's Corridan's hand on Torian's shoulder. 'Got it bad, kid.' I imagine Corridan punching Torian's chin lightly. 'Good for you.'

 

I don't hear anything else said for a while. I can imagine Torian nodding. Or smiling. Or looking serious and away from Corridan. Hard to tell. Maybe a mixture of all of them.

 

'Wish I'd been there to see Mandalore's face when he heard,' Corridan continues after a pause. 'Rumours vary. Jogo prefers the ones that involve your dishonour or head.' There's a slight pause where I imagine Torian frowning.

 

'Don't mind Jogo. He's more than slightly jealous. You got a lot he doesn't. Personally, think Mandalore's alright with it. Gar taldin ni jaonyc; gar sa buir, ori'wadaas'la.' He pauses and his next words carry a heavy gravity. 'I'm happy for you, son.'

 

All I hear next is Corridan walking away and Torian's gentle breathing. I wait for it to be my watch.

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From page 3

Just gonna say, haven't had the Torian / Mako thing thank god, and so I like the thought of him not really liking her, finding her annoying, and consistently choosing the BH over her.

Interpret how you like ;):p

What did you mean by the T/M thing? Was there something between them if you didn't romance them?

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From page 3

 

What did you mean by the T/M thing? Was there something between them if you didn't romance them?

I'm not sure for m!bh characters, but if you're a f!bh and you don't romance Torian, Mako puts the moves on him. That's what's going on in my bh crew right now, but I have my doubts as to the long-term survivability of their relationship (especially with the adorable, curvy baby bh sitting in my character list at the moment, hehehe).

 

Mako gets a little bit of an attitude about it to be honest, which is why it's so much fun to see EverSteam's bh smack her down on occasion lol.

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What did you mean by the T/M thing? Was there something between them if you didn't romance them?

Yeah, from what I've read, if you're a f!bh and you have too much affection for Mako and not Torian then they develop a relationship. m!bh I think also can get it (don't hold me to this) if they get too much affection with Torian and not Mako.

Mako gets a little bit of an attitude about it to be honest

I've tried to look for videos or transcripts of the dialouge for the conversations past just people giving a brief description and I can't which makes me sad. I would hate for it to happen to me, but since it hasn't, I'm curious as to what Torian is like with her. And it does seem strange he would actually go out with her when he even says his two criteria is Mando and shooting straight. As my BH points out, Mako fails at being/having either of those.

it's so much fun to see EverSteam's bh smack her down on occasion lol.

I'm glad you enjoy that! :D

Sometimes I wonder if my BH too mean and maybe Mako is mildly alright and wouldn't be so hated by her... but then I laugh at myself for having such a silly notion and write something mean about Mako :D;)

 

I will also update soon. Just need to proof read whatever I wrote last night.

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I've tried to look for videos or transcripts of the dialouge for the conversations past just people giving a brief description and I can't which makes me sad. I would hate for it to happen to me, but since it hasn't, I'm curious as to what Torian is like with her. And it does seem strange he would actually go out with her when he even says his two criteria is Mando and shooting straight. As my BH points out, Mako fails at being/having either of those.

I don't recall seeing much of Torian's side of the relationship; don't think he says anything, which means it may all be in Mako's mind :eek:. However, Mako does tell him something along the lines of "you're never allowed to leave the ship again" after he gets captured, which I'm sure would really go over well with a hardcore Mandalorian :rolleyes: (Enjoy him while you got him Mako, because I have plans mwahahaha!)

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I don't recall seeing much of Torian's side of the relationship; don't think he says anything, which means it may all be in Mako's mind :eek:.

That's hilarious!! :D That would also make a good fanfic.

However, Mako does tell him something along the lines of "you're never allowed to leave the ship again" after he gets captured, which I'm sure would really go over well with a hardcore Mandalorian :rolleyes: (Enjoy him while you got him Mako, because I have plans mwahahaha!)

Wow... and I thought my BH was possessive... and they just really don't seem suited those two.

Yes! You steal him away!

 

Also:

I really like Corridan's interaction with them both. I wish we saw more of him in game.

Thank you! :D

And I was sooo disappointed when you don't go with Torian to Alderaan. I had been thinking 'yes! Get to meet Corridan and kill some senators!' but then no! You don't! :mad:

So that's why I have written this because that was so frustrating for me. And Corridan was only a holo figure who didn't say much so basically making him what I imagined he would be... and what suits my own purposes.

 

 

-----

 

 

Three hours before dawn...

 

 

'Watch is over, Torian. Go get some sleep,' I call as I walk closer.

 

I crouch down next to him and smile at the serious frown with which he watches the blackness below. Corellia's three moons are only slim crescents and the stars offer little light. But it's ok. I can see fine.

 

'Stay with you a while.' He doesn't move closer to me or stop watching the darkness below. After a pause when I almost tire of silence and the stars no longer occupy my thoughts, Torian moves his arm around me. I stiffen at first but then relax and move my head rest against his cold and hard armour.

 

Torian glances down at me and smiles in a way that bellies his serious expression of a moment before.

 

'Something good happen, Torian?'

 

'Part from you being here? Only spoke to Corridan.' Knew it would be that and Torian doesn't say any more about it for many minutes. Conversation gave me a lot to think about as well.

 

'What did you think of him?' Torian eventually asks.

 

I'm aware of what Torian wants to hear and know I should think about my words. Can say from my impression that he's close to being a good man. I feel he wouldn't do anything to sacrifice his or his clans honour and I think he does what he needs to without complaint. Yet to see how intelligent he is but I think it's on the upper side. Also seen that he can be compassionate when he sees it as necessary. But I feel he would be quick to anger and expect rigid obedience and complete competency. And I feel he isn't a man that would be quick to forgive a slight against him. But I can see how Torian has come to respect him so much.

 

'Many things. Will tell you at the end of tomorrow.' I flash a grin before saying, ' but don't worry. I won't be killing him anytime soon.'

 

Torian frowns and nods but the smile still tugs at the edges. Think it was the first time Corridan ever called him 'son' and I think Corridan's approval of me means a lot to him. The silence between us lengthens and nothing moves in the darkness. I look to the other watchers and see them in place and alive.

 

'Can see why you respect him, Torian.' I straighten as I hear a person tred behind us and I have an idea of who it is. 'Now, go! Need all the sleep you can get for tomorrow.'

 

Torian smiles down at me and kisses me gently.

 

'Later then,' he breathes as he stands. He walks away quietly and doesn't acknowledge the man that remains unseen in the shadows. I wait for him to come out.

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Oooooo suspense :D

 

The not so suspenseful continuation...

 

 

I hear a new mans footsteps and heart. It makes the other man slink back into the shadows further and slip away. I know the next time he will approach me. And I will break his f***ing arm at least. Our confrontation could never end with only words.

 

'Never seen the kid so happy.'

 

I don't turn to Corridan's voice. I just keep looking out. My thermal vision is on. Everything is blue. Sometimes, there are small flashes of red as a lone bird flies in the night. Most have fled the city.

 

Corridan walks to kneel beside me and I don't let my guard down. He looks blind into the night. Only a few street lamps still work. He remains silent. I have nothing to say. Heard enough when he spoke to Torian. Seems I've done a lot of listening in on Torian's conversations recently. Hearing them just makes everything more complicated. How knowing your making someone happy complicated?

 

'Not just 'cause of Jicoln. All you. Know that, right?' Corridan speaks basic. Doesn't need to. Could speak Huttese, Mando'a, Dosh, Rodese, Durese, Shyriiwook or any other known language and I would be able to understand him. I don't want these Mandalorians to forget I am one of them.

 

'Don't need you to tell me about my husband's happiness,' I retort in Mando'a. I let a note of anger and apprehension slip into my voice. I turn my head to him and flash a smile. 'But it's appreciated.'

 

'After he met you on Dromund Kaas, he was star struck,' Corridan explains after a pause. 'And something more, I see now. You left a strong impression on him and the others. Mainly good. Don't want to know what half of them said. It had nothing to do with your fighting.' He grins slightly. 'Torian wasn't too impressed by that.' He chuckles at the memory. I can imagine Torian's silent disapproval. Mando'ad seem fond of gossip.

 

Corridan turns serious. 'Remember when he came for the hunt on Duxn after joining up with you. Seemed troubled by something. Angry and sad. Asked him about it and he said you both went on a big hunt.'

 

He pauses here as if he thinks I'm going to explain what Torian was thinking and feeling. I'm not. It's my business. Haven't even told Torian everything so I'm never going to tell him anything. Took over three months for Torian to know anything.

 

When Corridan realises I won't talk, he continues.

 

'He had plenty of other stories. Never smiling more than when he was thinking or talking of you. Obvious to see how he felt. Others were jealous to hear them. Didn't think him worth you.'

 

After a small pause he continues quietly. 'Good to see him happy. Never was inclined that way before. Not everyone can forgive a son for who their father was.'

 

I nod. The last part isn't a bit of new information. Never really thought about how Torian felt on Tython. Only ever assumed he was disgusted. I'm happier than I let on at hearing of Torian loving me so early. Thought I was alone there. I like the thought that all along the way, he was mine to hold.

 

'At the Alderaan op, I saw how his fighting had improved. The man he has become. It's a good one. Always knew it would be. He let slip you were teaching him many things.' His smile and eyes hint that he's not just talking about shooting with a blaster rifle. I can't help but smirk in return. Men gossip more than women. 'Seems you know a lot about fighting. Showed me the tooth you gave him. Wouldn't mind seeing how much you can do myself some time.'

 

I leer at Corridan but don't look at him. 'What about now? No other human or droid for another three hundred meters that aren't ours and no aircrafts flying in this sector.'

 

He regards me for a moment. I tap my ear. He nods.

 

We fight bare handed. I go easy on him. We're both slow at first. But gradually the tempo increases. He's on the ground in twenty. We both change fighting styles. He's on the ground in fifteen. And again: ten. Not even trying hard and choosing how long each bout should be. But he is good. Would have been better at Torian's age. He'll have more than one bruise in the morning. Possibly a black eye. But nothing that will impair his fighting in the morning.

 

'Perfect form. No weaknesses. Fluid movements. Been trained well. I wonder by who.' I don't nod or acknowledge this. I just keep going through the movements. All the while, I am aware of the streets below.

 

'Interested to see what you can do with a gun. Guess I'll see tomorrow.' I pin him to the ground again. When I let him go, he only sits up. He's seen enough. 'Fight well. Speak Mando'a. See why Torian chose you. You are one of us.'

 

I nod and return to watching the streets. Think about replying that I don't need his approval or say so to be Mando; I think about saying being Mando'ad means little to me; I think about thanking him and I think about not saying anything. What I do say surprises me a little.

 

'Not the only woman around here that meets that criteria.' Loathe the bitterness in my voice.

 

Corridan chuckles a little. 'Insecure are we?' I scowl at him with a death stare and though he quietens his grin remains. 'Don't be. Never seen Torian look at any of them the way he looks at you. Others have only been casual things. Don't think he cared for them at all. Can't say the others felt that way.'

 

I keep my face impassive. I'm insecure? Never thought about women for longer than a few moments a couple of times. Suppose Torian never had to worry about other men outside of Gault. I killed them all. Remember Torian's words on Belsavis: the viciously desperate look in his eyes. Guess knowing they're dead isn't always comforting. It doesn't change feelings or memories. People who say time heals or wounds are full of crap and lies. It's never true no matter how many times you tell yourself that. The anger I feel would never change even if I had a life time.

 

'I don't like competition.' I smile at the memory. I don't like competition either.

 

Corridan smirks a little. He has a good smirk. Well practiced. 'And they don't all meet that criteria. From what I have seen of you now, I know none could beat you. None prettier, either.' His smirk twists into a flirtatious smile.

 

I am lying over him, my gun pressed to his temple and my lags and spare hands pinning him to the ground. I am fast. I try not think of why. I don't like to think of why I can do a lot of things.

 

'Pow,' I say clearly with dead eyes and a blank face.

 

But then I grin down at him and laugh. 'I'm the kind of woman that shoots if you try anything.' I wink at him and roll into a sitting position.

 

Corridan's wizened face shows surprise. I don't think his face has moved like that in a few decades. There is a question in his eyes. I tap my temporal lobe, just above my ear, and wink. He nods and returns the grin.

 

'Kind of woman that's full of surprises, I'm sure. Wonder if Torian knows about that.' I wink again and sit against a pile of rubble, my back to the city.

 

Corridan turns sober and continues. 'Weren't many lovers, though. Not everyone accepts Torian because of Jicoln. Thought for a while he ruined his sons life. But it's only made him stronger and try harder. Wish more were like him.'

 

I nod. Yes, I think I do like Corridan. He knows not only how to gain respect but also love. He can read people well and say what needs to be said with a frankness that isn't repulsive. Seems like a man that does have honour. Almost a good man. Almost.

 

'Are any of them here?' I ask curiously. It try to remain stoic but Corridan has sharp eyes.

 

'I don't want one less clan Ordo member,' is his stern reply. I smile at the way he's quick to protect his clan. I don't push for names.

 

After a lengthening silence Corridan speaks again. 'He didn't teach you, did he? You couldn't have learnt so well so quickly. Hardly an accent. Another enigma.' He looks at me with determined curiosity; the look a man gives a particularly hard but fascinating puzzle they can't yet put down.

 

'Had a wide and thorough education,' I reply vaguely. I don't look at him. I return to my post properly. I have piqued his curiosity and though I think it started as a concern for Torian, he's now just plainly interested. I'm not here to interest or entertain others.

 

'Seems you have. After our victory, during the feasting, we will have a competition. Standard celebrations. Interested to see how you fare. Torian will enter. Think I might this time, too. Want to see how good he's gotten since Alderaan personally. Torian won the last one. Now I know why. He had a good teacher.'

 

'Had a harsh teacher,' I correct. 'He's the good learner. Give him all the credit. Learnt a lot faster than I did.' I can't help but sound proud of him. Guess he's my trophy too.

 

Corridan chuckles a little. I turn and look at him with a look that demands an explanation. I don't appreciate being laughed at. He's more than slightly amused. 'Haven't seen two people so in love in a long time,' he explains. 'Very refreshing,' but the look in his eye suggests something different and the dark brown eyes only look sad.

 

'Good to know you're taking care of him.' Wouldn't say that if he knew anything. Happy as Corridan's words have made me, they are void. Doesn't know enough for them to mean anything. So I cast them away from organic memory. I could never take care of Torian.

 

Corridan gets up and leaves. He has a slight limp. I didn't go that easy on him. But it's nothing that won't be fine in a few hours.

 

And then I am alone with my thoughts in a way I never wanted to be.

 

Two years, huh? Wonder how much destruction I can cause in two years while I'm here. Two years is too short to love Torian. I wish I had more than half of me to give. But I don't. And I can't. I look to the stars and see the words 'what if?' written there. Too many 'what if's to count.

 

I have decided what I would wish for if I only had one. Revenge is within my means. And Torian is within my arms now. But 'now' can only last for so long.

 

I don't want to leave you, Torian. So please, fate, let me stay. I silently beg the impassive, silent stars.

 

'I don't want to die anymore,' I whisper to no one. I am alone.

 

 

 

----

 

 

 

And that concludes the nights deep and meaningfuls.

And I just made myself cry at the end... :( (I'm not sure if someone should admit that or not but I am proudly. :p)

 

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