On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL.

 

 

BABY JAESA shows up wearing an amiable smile. LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL observe.

KHEM VAL: Well. She is looking very…

LORD SCOURGE: Harmless. It disgusts me.

KHEM VAL: Her rage when Xalek taunted her last Friday was worthy of the warriors of Yn and Chabosh.

KHEM VAL reflects for a moment.

KHEM VAL: One of the smaller warriors, anyway.

BABY JAESA sits down by the toybox, cheerfully greets M1-4X, and starts sharing toys with BABY KIRA.

LORD SCOURGE: We have prevailed upon her to heed the call of the Dark Side every non-T7 day for a month, yet she remains newly indecisive every day. I have had dogs that learned faster than this.

KHEM VAL: Although in three hundred years of dog ownership the odds of eventually getting a dog more easily trained than Jaesa are actually pretty high.

BABY PIERCE and BABY SKADGE roll by the toybox in one of their usual brawls. A stray punch thrown by BABY SKADGE breaks the toy swoop racer BABY JAESA was playing with. BABY JAESA looks crestfallen for a moment, but BABY KIRA says something quiet that gets BABY JAESA to cheer up again.

LORD SCOURGE: That was probably Jedi nonsense.

BABY KIRA and BABY JAESA high-five. LORD SCOURGE rolls his eyes.

KHEM VAL: Little Jedi, you both realize that Skadge did that on purpose. Just because he could.

BABY KIRA: Skadge, jerk? I'm shocked.

LORD SCOURGE: Was that not your favorite toy swoop that he so wantonly destroyed, Jaesa?

BABY JAESA: Nope! Not my favorite.

KHEM VAL: You've played with nothing else for weeks. It's the closest thing to commitment we've ever seen out of you.

BABY JAESA: Nope!

KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE exchange looks.

LORD SCOURGE: Surely you are a little bit angry at Pierce and Skadge's habitual antagonism.

KHEM VAL stares meaningfully at the wreckage of the toy swoop racer.

BABY JAESA, thoughtfully: Maybe a little bit angry.

BABY KIRA: Oh, great, yeah. Listen to those two, why don't you.

BABY JAESA giggles.

BABY JAESA: Angry!

KHEM VAL: Skadge and Pierce are insects worthy only of crushing.

LORD SCOURGE: Perhaps when you get a little stronger, anyway.

BABY JAESA: Yup. I'm gonna crush 'em.

LORD SCOURGE: Do not think that your supposed allies here are any better. Everyone will fail you sooner or later. You should hate them.

BABY JAESA: Hate. Yup, I hate Kira.

A bewildered-looking BABY KIRA spends a second blinking.

BABY KIRA: Oh, yeah? Well, I hate you too!

BABY JAESA: And Forex!

M1-4X, from the toybox: I should have known that a Sith turncoat would renounce our friendship!

LORD SCOURGE: You can use that hatred to impart your will upon the galaxy.

BABY JAESA: Yup. Grrr!

BABY JAESA shuts her eyes and enters a Force meditation. She starts glowing with a gold Light Side aura.

LORD SCOURGE facepalms.

KHEM VAL: You are worse at following directions than were the rebels of Yn and Chabosh. And they were bad enough that I had to devour them all.

LORD SCOURGE: But let us be realistic, Khem, I somehow doubt that you made much of an effort to try other solutions first.

KHEM VAL: The point is, Jaesa is the worst little Sith ever.

LORD SCOURGE: Yes, Jaesa. Why would you be so…serene…with your anger and hatred?

BABY JAESA giggles.

BABY JAESA: Because it's not opposite day!

LORD SCOURGE glares at BABY KIRA. BABY KIRA looks smug.

LORD SCOURGE: You told her this, didn't you.

BABY KIRA: Am I a genius or what? Light Side for Jaesa today!

BABY JAESA frowns and gives BABY KIRA a suspicious look.

BABY KIRA: I meant Dark Side! Peace is a lie and all that stuff.

BABY JAESA relaxes again.

BABY KIRA: Score one for the Jedi!

Edited January 15, 2013 by bright_ephemera

Ahaha, Jaesa. She's actually one of my more preferred companions, even though her Dark Side self creeps me out.

 

Still, I can't stop giggling long enough to take a sip of my coffee.

Just so you know, I had my Pureblood Jedi Guardian smack Kira around for making my head spin at whatever the hell that was...

I was so traumatised by the life of Ald that I had to come and re-read the last few pages of this thread to cheer myself up. Always guarantees a laugh

It's good to be back!

 

Somehow, in every fic scene I write where Doc and Quinn appear in the same room, they hate each other. (Shameless No Death, Only Wrath plug there.) I didn't plan this, it just happened that way.

 

Naturally I had to go check out what you were referencing.

"All that trouble, and it turns out the only thing we had to do to get Balmorra back was get you laid.” (Doc to Quinn). Priceless!!

 

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking abo...okay that sentence is so false I can't even finish it.

 

Now, I would say I hate to pick on Quinn and Bowdaar two installments in a row, but who are we kidding I never get bored of that...

 

Lol.

 

*reads on*

Wait... Quinn's plan didn't completely blow up in his face? It was salvageable? Nice.

Opposite day! Brilliant! Score one against Kira (of course I'm not playing along ).

Edited January 22, 2013 by LanaSangien

You need to play a BH so you can put in baby Mako and baby Gault...

 

Blizz, though, is very simple. He doesn't like people being mean to himself or others, he likes to help "boss", and he likes being given things - any things. And he tinkers, and carries around a ton of junk.

So, I read through everything here and enjoyed it immensely. Superb job!!

 

Subscribing and hoping for more.

Thank you!

 

In honor of the snowstorm I drove through to get to work, I have a short piece:

 

 

On BLIZZARD DAYS, FCD is staffed by ANYBODY WHO CAN MAKE IT THROUGH SEVERAL FEET OF SNOW.

 

The children are all at the window, looking at the furious whiteout beyond.

BABY GUSS: So is this where we all get buried alive and die? Because I voted for coloring books today. Not dying.

BABY TANNO VIK, swaggering out of the kitchen with a fistful of stolen plastic drinking straws: Not to worry, I have a foolproof solution for breathing while we're buried. We just use these. Twenty credits a pop, guys, I have enough for all.

BABY CORSO: Tanno, you just stole those.

BABY TANNO VIK: Doesn't make them any less critical to your survival, does it? Twenty credits, firm.

BABY CORSO: You can't take advantage of us like that! Look, there's women and children here!

BABY TEMPLE: All the women here are technically children.

BABY CORSO: It counts. The point is, we've gotta do something. How are we gonna dig ourselves out?

KHEM VAL: When it's time to go home Lord Scourge will use the dark techniques of the ancient Sith Lords to glare at the snow until it goes away.

BABY GUSS gulps.

BABY GUSS: I hate it when he does that.

LORD SCOURGE nods.

LORD SCOURGE: This will scarcely present a challenge.

"I hate it when he does that."

 

Can't breathe. Tears. I don't know why that was so funny, but omg.

I giggled about the whole thing, but lost it at Lord Scourge, "This will scarcely present a challenge."

Finally! More-more-more!

YAAAAY!!! MORE FCD STORIES!!!

 

on a smaller scale of enthusiasm: reminds me of Illum

We need more FCD!...

 

Wait, is Wacky Hijinks hurt?

How about a trip to the hutt cartel zoo for a story?

How about a trip to the hutt cartel zoo for a story?

 

 

 

"I pulled Makeb’s tourism profile, my lord. The resort prices are staggering, far above a captain salary."- Malavai Quinn

 

If thats from another fan fic sorry because this one just popped into my head i didnt mean to copy anyone.

Edited April 11, 2013 by Zanderwright

This is perfectly hilarious. I'm trying to read through it all, but the daily episodic structure is quite well done. This would make a great web series or something of that nature.

If thats from another fan fic sorry because this one just popped into my head i didnt mean to copy anyone.

 

He says it everytime you get off the ship at Makeb orbital station.

I'm thinking write anything with this, since I hear he says it at first time too.

IT'S SO QUINN!!! But my english it's so bad =(

Maybe change to "when we get married" at the beginning of the sentence, will be really cool!

Edited April 12, 2013 by ddarkangel

Okay i think we need to ressurect wacky hijinks. Eye of Quiin! Toe of Vector! Toungue of Risha! Bubble boil and burn make this webcomic a full blown plot!

We... Need... Hijinks! *grabs Wacky Hijinks and shakes him/her up until he/she wakes up and makes more funny*

This is perfectly hilarious. I'm trying to read through it all, but the daily episodic structure is quite well done. This would make a great web series or something of that nature.

 

Kinda like Muppet Babies?

Okay, guys, I don't want to raise any hopes, but I finally got around to talking to another companion...

 

 

On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.

 

A small child with light brown hair walks in, clutching something protectively in his arms.

T7-01: Today = new child at daycare // Children = welcome Tharan Cedrax

BABY THARAN, revealing the protected item as a small purple plastoid pony: And My Little Holiday!

T7-01: Children = welcome Tharan Cedrax + My Little Holiday

MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: Hi, everybody! It's so nice to meet you!

BABY THARAN: She's an AI I found at yard sale. I took her home and improved her into the smartest AI ever!

MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: You're so smart, Tharan!

The children exchange looks.

BABY KALIYO: ...Smartest AI ever?

BABY THARAN: Yep.

BABY KALIYO: You don't think she has some room for improvement in judgment?

BABY JORGAN: Or at least a different spoken line?

BABY THARAN: Why? Seems perfect to me.

MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: You're so smart, Tharan!

BABY THARAN: I am, after all, a Super Genius.

BABY THARAN produces several embossed business cards.

BABY THARAN: Says so right here.

BABY JORGAN: Isn't that some kind of fraud?

SCORPIO: His aptitude tests are off the traditional charts. I replotted on a logarithmic scale and he seemed much more ordinary then. Still. I will be watching this one.

BABY THARAN: Now you look like an amazing piece of technology! Would you mind shutting down so I can open up your case and–

SCORPIO: Do not attempt, little one.

MY LITTLE HOLIDAY: Tharan? I don't think we should argue with her.

SCORPIO: Well, well. She does have some intelligence of her own.

 

Game note:

 

Edited June 4, 2013 by bright_ephemera

Yay Tharan! Although I'm kind of disappointed Holiday is a pony... I think she should have been a child herself, it would have been funnier then, especially if Doc tried to flirt with her xD

Okay, guys, I don't want to raise any hopes, but I finally got around to talking to another companion...

Too late....hopes are up! I loved it!! I don't think i will be able to watch my daughter play with her My Little Pony without laughing now.

Brilliant, Bright! Absolutely brilliant! Love My Little Pony, and love what you did there with Holiday!

 

All of my hugs!

 

As for Tara Strong voicing both Risha and Holiday - could be that Risha was a child actress at some point (rich daddies do that sometimes), and her voice was used by My Little Holiday toymakers Spacebro! Could lead to some fun weirdness, no?

Edited June 5, 2013 by Helig