Correction: Meatbag Readers.

 

<snip>

 

Waresh halted the Devaronian when he witnessed HK explode into action, single-handedly wiping out an entire group of crazed Imperials with practiced ease. Both Gault and Mako paled.

“We’ll leave that one alone,” Waresh informed the two. “Focus on the target. The droid will fall in line once the Sith is contained.”

 

<snip>

 

“That really warms my heart,” Gault leaned against the rocky outcropping with a heartfelt sigh. “Sadly, it does nothing to fill my pockets.”

 

<snip>

 

Pipsy whirled on the two and stamped her foot, babbling in something Ignite didn’t understand. She threw her head back and let loose what sounded like a Jawa’s evil cackle.

“The witch has realized the Pipsqueak is connected to the Force,” Khem gestured.

Ignite blinked. “She’s in my Jawa?”

“Yes.”

“Can we get her out?”

“I am not sure, Master.”

Ignite frowned when he noted Pipsy, or Zash, raise her hands. The Sith Lord felt the Force ruffle around him and his robes moved slightly by a passing gust of wind.

“Yeah…” Ignite trailed off. “I haven’t taught Pipsy how to control the Force quite yet, Zash.”

Pipsy stomped her foot.

“Okay, time for time-out,” Ignite muttered, snapping his fingers. Khem hefted the possessed Jawa by the collar and followed his Master out of the tomb. “HK is going to have a field day with this,” Ignite muttered, reaching up to his ear to contact the droid. There was static on the line for a brief second. “HK.” Ignite winced when he heard the dying scream of a man blaring in his ear.

Query: Yes, Master?

“Having fun?”

Amused Acknowledgement: Yes, Master.

“We have a—complication.”

Intrigued Inquiry: Can you elaborate, Master?

“The Pipsqueak is possessed.”

There was silence on the other end of the com. Finally, HK spoke. Remorseful Realization: This unit cannot laugh because I have no programming to assist me.

“Pipsy can install that, you know,” Ignite informed hopefully.

Emphatic Statement: We must repair the Pipsqueak at once.

“He’s really easy to manipulate,” Ignite whispered to Khem.

Agitated Retort: I heard that, Master.

Ignite winced.

Assurance: But this unit still wishes to fix the Pipsqueak.

“Well that’s awfully nice of you—“ Ignite was cut off.

Interruption: So I can liquidate her.

Ignite smacked his forehead. “Always a catch…”

 

 

Two things:

 

1) I just spit coffee all over my laptop LMAO.

2) How do they get Zash out of Pipsy?

 

 

Also... the fact that the crew of the greatest Hunter in the galaxy basically shat themselves when they saw HK in action is freaking hilarious.

Statement: This unit is most baffled by the Master’s lack of writing of my most excellent accomplishments and adventures. Solution: This unit has decided that he shall detail events in the Master’s stead. Warning: There will be multiple spoilers ahead, Meatbags. You have been warned!

Continuation: Chapter Four: HK Saves the Day…

“Hey, hey! What are you doing, HK?!”

Indignant Response: Completing your unfinished work, Master!

“I told you I was doing research to make the plot even more epic!”

Retort: Master, this unit has watched you play this SWTOR for far too long! You have become far too engrossed!

“Says the droid who can’t stop assassinating people.”

Proud Acknowledgement: This unit has been programmed to—

“I’m aware. You’re not taking my story, HK! If you want me to keep writing all you have to do is ask!”

…

“You’re not gonna ask, are you?”

Reply: No.

“Hmph. Fine.”

Query: Shall I inform the Meatbags of your return?

“Readers, HK. They are Readers.”

Clarification: Meatbag Readers

<facepalm>

 

 

Sorry folks. I’ve been playing other alts in TOR, had to move, blah blah; boring stuff no one cares about. At any rate I’ve completed the JC and am almost done with the JK stories and I’ve figured some interesting ways to bring em in on the action!

 

With that being said I shall still attempt to warn you of potential spoilers; but know that nearly everything is going to be twisted and spoiled now. In honor of that claim know that there are potential Consular / Bounty Hunter spoilers and, as always, Sith Inquisitor spoilers in the upcoming chapter.

 

As a final note please understand that, having been away for a while, the author’s tone/voice may change slightly. For that I greatly apologize, as it is something that bothers me when I read. I’ll try and take care of it as swiftly as possible!

 

Again, thank you for reading and for being patient. Now back to the action!

“HK, you want to do the honors?”

Admission: Yes, Master. Statement: Chapter Four: HK Saves the Day

…

“That’s the title you want?”

Stiff Retort: Yes.

“Okay, okay. We’ll go with it.”

 

 

Chapter Four: HK Saves the Day

 

Pipsy-Zash squealed and scrambled to get out of Khem’s all-mighty grasp resulting in the Dashade rapidly losing patience and Ignite’s paramount frustrations tripling.

“For the love of the Emperor be quiet, Zash!” Ignite barked over his shoulder, feeling his heart pang when he saw his precious Jawa still possessed. “I don’t like it any more than you do!”

Pipsy cackled.

“Just a little further…” Ignite muttered, eager to see his droid once more. They exited the Temple to find HK standing at attention, countless bodies littered the courtyard and hillsides.

“A tad excessive, eh HK?” Ignite gestured to the carnage.

Proud Statement: Master I have vastly exceeded your kill count.

“I never told you about Korriban, HK.” Ignite chuckled.

Confused Query: Korriban? HK stiffened and snatched his blaster, whirling and firing three warning shots. Threat: Halt, Meatbags! This unit senses your approach!

Ignite flexed his fingers, eager to unleash some pent up rage. HK stood at the ready, blaster poised, with Khem at his side, the Dashade and Jawa both were staring in the direction HK looked. It didn’t take long for three figures to emerge.

Waresh the Bounty Hunter approached with his hands in clear view, his blasters holstered. Mako walked behind him, trying to keep his body between the dangerous Sith and herself. Gault walked forward with his hands held way in the air, greatly exaggerating his movements so to avoid being fried.

“This was your great plan, Waresh?” Gault hissed under his breath. “Walk in unarmed at their mercy?”

“There’s no way we’d beat him in a fair fight,” Mako insisted with a quaver in her voice. “Can’t you feel the power emanating from him?”

“He’s mad,” Waresh noted, his voice obscured by the Mandalorian helm he wore. “Don’t make any sudden moves.”

“I could’ve ended this earlier!” Gault persisted. “One shot!”

“Not the best time to be talking about that,” Mako sighed.

“The droid would have detected you,” Waresh agreed.

Boast: This unit has been observing you Meatbags upon my Master’s arrival at this location. Genuine Query: Were you impressed by this unit’s assassination protocols?

Gault fell on his knees and slammed his face to the ground. “Oh, yes! Master Droid! Please do not kill us!”

HK turned to regard Ignite. Statement: I like this Meatbag, Master.

Ignite rolled his eyes. “Look, I really don’t have the patience for this right now,” he growled. Gault was on his feet in an instant.

“Sorry, My Lord, or whatever it is I call you. All-powerful Sith. Most grac—“ Mako clamped a hand over Gault’s mouth.

“Would you shut up?!” She shrieked.

“Took the words right out of my mouth,” Ignite smirked slightly.

“Waresh, Champion of the Great Hunt,” the Bounty Hunter inclined his head in respect. Ignite nodded as well, folding his arms. “We came to deliver a message.”

“Oh?” Ignite raised an eyebrow.

Waresh whipped out his blasters faster than Mako thought possible, aiming one at the Sith and one at Pipsy. Surprisingly HK did not fire. Ignite turned to his droid, thoroughly puzzled.

“HK?”

Assurance: This unit detected no ill intent, Master. There was no need to liquidate the Meatbag.

“He’s holding a blaster at me,” Ignite gestured to Waresh.

Correction: He is holding a blaster at the Pipsqueak, Master.

“Oh for the love of!” Ignite threw his hands in the air. “I don’t have time for this!” The Twi’lek jammed his finger at Waresh. “My Jawa is possessed. My droid is mutinous. I can hear the Dashade’s stomach growling after he had a freaking col—“

“DO NOT mention that, Little Sith!” Khem growled.

“And my Pirate is Emperor knows where!” Ignite roared. “I’ve had it! Everything within a one mile radius is about to die!”

“I wouldn’t recommend that,” Waresh remained impassive. “I know that Jawa is important to you. You may fry me and my companions, but I’ll make sure she dies.”

Ignite twitched. HK lowered his blaster.

“What are you doing, HK?”

Reply: This Meatbag wishes to liquidate the Pipsqueak.

“Yeah, and you’re not going to let him do that, HK.”

Query: Why not, Master?

“Because YOU want to liquidate the Pipsqueak.”

HK’s blaster was at the ready in a heartbeat. Statement: As always you are quite correct, Master. This unit is greatly pleased you reminded him of such an important fact!

“What do you want, Hunter?” Ignite spat.

“I was given a job to track you down and deliver you to the Emperor,” Waresh informed. “Come peacefully, and we’ll get this over with. Resist and things won’t end well.”

“For you,” Ignite assured.

Waresh shrugged. “I’ve faced worse odds.”

“Well I certainly haven’t,” Gault informed.

“I’m not overtly fond of this plan,” Mako piped up.

Waresh didn’t flinch. “Trust me.”

“If I agree to this,” Ignite couldn’t believe he was even contemplating it. “Then I demand I be allowed to take my ship.”

“Only if we’re on it,” Waresh nodded.

“Yeah,” Ignite sighed. “No. HK! Weapons free!”

Statement: Prepare for liquidation, Meatbags! The Droid prepared to fire when all hell broke loose. Pipsy-Zash broke free of Khem’s grasp and bumped into HK, hitting a panel on his shin which caused his arm (gun attached) to go sailing at Waresh and company.

Mako squeaked and ducked; Gault caught the gun with his face. Waresh fired both blasters. The first bolt hit Khem in the chest, sending the Dashade into a rage; Khem howled and charged, intent on feasting well. The second bolt was deflected by Ignite who had long ignited his lightsaber, prepared to slice the Hunter in half. Waresh continued to fire while backing up. He tripped over Gault who grabbed HK’s hand and aimed it at the Sith.

“Halt! I’ve got a weapon!”

HK glared. Threat: Return my weapon and hand, Meatbag, or face liquidation!

Gault paused. “That’s got to be the most ridiculous request I’ve ever heard.”

Ignite snarled and slashed his lightsaber at the Devaronian. It was parried by a vibro-sword Waresh extended in the nick of time.

“Move,” he grunted against the Sith’s strength.

“On it,” Gault relinquished his weapon and grabbed Mako. “Let’s go, Princess!”

“I’m not a Prin—“

“Now!”

Disgusted Observation: Master, the Meatbags are escaping!

“I’m aware!” Ignite roared, falling into a Soresu stance to counter the Hunter’s vicious offensive. The Sith found himself impressed at Waresh’s prowess with a blade. “Khem! After them!”

The Dashade roared and gave chase. HK watched him go before slamming his face into his other arm, retracting his hand.

Self Notation: Liquidate the Pipsqueak immediately. HK cocked his head to the side. Query: Master, where is the Pipsqueak.

“I can tell you where she BETTER be!” Ignite snarled.

Acknowledgement: Noted, Master. The droid took a step forward to begin his search before smoke erupted throughout the entire area. Assurance: I will liquidate that Pipsqueak.

Ignite coughed and continued to fight; easily seeing through the smoke with the Force. His advantage now gone, Waresh ignited his jetpack and fled the area, easily catching up to his two companions and leading the way to safety.

Ignite emerged from the smoke with HK seconds later, noting the absence of the Hunter. He saw Khem walking back with Pipsy tucked under his arm.

“Thanks,” the Sith nodded at his friend. Khem grunted.

“They escaped, Master. Even on the battlefields of Yn and Chabosh I have never seen such chaos.”

“Certainly wasn’t our most glorious moment,” Ignite admitted. “We’ll keep this one to ourselves; no need for Andro to hear about it.”

“Agreed,” Khem intoned.

Both looked to HK.

Statement: Agreed.

“Now let’s get back to the ship and figure out this Zash issue,” Ignite took one step before noticing a figure approaching. “Not another one,” he sighed.

Warning: Master, the approaching Meatbag is very powerful.

“They would make a fine meal,” Khem noted.

“Not good,” Ignite felt a tremor in the force. “Thanaton.”

Ignite grabbed at the comlink in his ear. “Andro,” he called.

“Yep?” The Pirate responded immediately.

“We need evac. Stat.” Ignite said. “No questions. All haste.”

“On it,” Andro cut the connection.

“Stall,” Ignite held out his hands to both of his companions. He looked over to see Pipsy subdued and scrambling to hide behind the Dashade. “Definitely stall.”

Query: Shall I restrain from threats, Master?

“Do you value your core?”

HK stiffened. Indignant Retort: How can you threaten this superior mod—

“I wasn’t speaking of me, HK.”

Relieved Reply: Understood, Master.

There was another tremor in the Force and Lord Kallig stood before the Sith and his companions.

“Flesh of my flesh,” Kallig began. “There is little time. The approaching Sith wishes you harm.”

“No sh—“ Ignite’s reply was cut off by his ship roaring overhead. Andro skillfully placed it down; Khem and Pipsy-Zash were first on the ramp followed by HK. Ignite went last, Kallig following. The Sith turned to regard Thanatos whom had paused, his hands behind his back.

“Lets go, Andro,” Ignite called into his comlink. The ship immediately took off, halting a few feet from the ground. Ignite grasped the railing, nearly falling to the ground.

“Something’s holding us!” Andro called to Ignite.

Ignite growled and looked at Kallig. “A little help?!”

“You disappoint me, flesh of my flesh.”

“If you’re not going to say or do anything worthwhile, please, by all means, go away,” Ignite shooed the ghost off before closing his eyes and drawing on his own well of power. “The moment the ship is free, punch it,” Ignite called to Andronikus through the comlink.

“Roger.”

The newly crowned Sith Lord drew deeply upon the Force before unleashing it in a great torrent of lightning. Thanatos was forced to counter, breaking his hold on the ship which lurched free. Ignite kept the stream up until they were a sufficient distance away. The Sith entered his ship to see everyone looking at him questioningly, even two-vee was silent.

Ignite turned to the ghost of Kallig. “I take it you’re going to give me some information?”

“Why, flesh of my flesh,” Kallig placed his arms behind his back. “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

*****

 

“What exactly happened back there?” Mako demanded of Waresh now that they were safe on their own ship in orbit around Dromund Kaas.

“We missed our mark,” Waresh remained impassive.

“You threatened to sacrifice our lives!” Mako pointed. “I didn’t sign on for that!”

“Nor did I,” Gault quipped.

“Shut up,” Mako commanded. “You don’t get to make decisions that violate my safety!”

“You wanted to come, Mako,” Waresh’s eyes flashed dangerously. “I handled that situation to the best of my ability. The droid knew we were there; I could sense it in my gut. We’re alive. Getting mad does nothing about the fact that we missed our mark.”

Those words struck a chord in the girl and she paused her berating momentarily. He was right, after all, she had to admit. They were alive and they’d failed a direct order from the most powerful being in the galaxy.

“Sorry,” she muttered.

“It’s fine,” Waresh shrugged. “Now what are we going to do?”

Mako shook her head. “I don’t know. Tracking him down again will be troublesome; especially now that he knows we’re after him.”

“If only we had some friends,” Gault sighed. “I thought we were in this for the money, not how many ways can one die!”

“We’ll get the money,” Waresh assured.

“Friends!” Mako cried in joy. “That’s it!” She bolted to the holoterminal and began rapidly typing.

“You guys don’t have friends,” Gault reminded the pair. “Well, apart from myself.”

The holoterminal flickered and a Trandoshian appeared. “Hiya, Qyzen. How are you doing?”

“Soft thing calls. Why? Debt has been repaid.”

“You’re calling a guy with one eye?” Gault gestured in disbelief.

Waresh held his hand out for silence.

“Shutting up,” Gault leaned back against the wall.

“You remember when you introduced that Herald of the Scorekeeper to me?” She questioned sweetly.

“Yes, Herald is with Qyzen at the moment,” the Trandoshian nodded. “Why does soft thing ask?”

“Don’t suppose we could talk to him?”

Warning: Spoilers across the board!

 

Cipher Agent Nine, Sneaks, surveyed the carnage that was House Cortess on Alderaan with a mixture of disgust and admiration. Clearly it was an army that marched through here, laying waste to all that once stood tall and proud. At least that’s what one would think, Sneaks reasoned inwardly, upon observation of the destruction; however Vector had arrived and informed the Agent otherwise.

“I preferred it my way,” Sneaks muttered after hearing Vector recount his story a third time. The Rattataki shook his head in disbelief and walked through the mass of Killiks rapidly building a new nest in the ruins.

“Hey,” a feminine voice called from behind the Agent. “What does a gal do for fun around here?”

“She shuts up,” Sneaks called over his shoulder as he removed his portable holo from an inner coat pocket.

Kaliyo shrugged. “Bad day, Agent?”

“Our only outlet to finding the Eagle’s cell on Alderaan is in a smoking heap. I’m a tad agitated at the moment.”

“There are ways to relieve that, you know,” Kaliyo nudged the Agent with her elbow.

Sneaks rolled his eyes. “We’re not murdering anyone right now.”

“Suit yourself,” she folded her arms and watched Sneaks call Watcher One.

“Cipher Nine,” Watcher One flickered into view. Kaliyo wondered why Sneaks even bothered listening to the decrepit old man. “Report.”

“You won’t believe this…” Sneaks sighed.

When the Agent was done Watcher One found himself quite baffled. “That is a most interesting tale. You are sure Vector is not deceiving you?”

Sneaks looked around once more. “I don’t think a nest of Killiks could make this up, Watcher.”

“Very well. Then we must explore more avenues. I shall brief you shortly; stand by for further orders.”

“Roger,” Sneaks turned off the holo.

“Well that was interesting,” Kaliyo raised an eyebrow. “What do you make of that?”

Sneaks shrugged.

 

 

“I CANNOT BREAK HIM!” Darth Baras roared, shoveling another donut into his mouth as he eyed the Republic spy his apprentice had captured. The hulking man before the Darth, Naweth, raised an eyebrow in confusion.

“Perhaps if you shot lightning at him instead of eating…” Vette piped up from behind Naweth.

“What was that?” Barus turned his attention to the Twi’lek.

“Nothing,” Naweth calmly intoned, skillfully blocking Baras’s view of Vette. “I have told you, Master, that I have felt a disturbance in the Force on Tatooine that must be dealt with.”

Barus ate shoveled another donut into his mouth. “My network of spies, carefully planted, is under siege, Apprentice! I have no time for your feelings!”

“And if it has something to do with the reason your network is failing?”

Baras prepared a scathing retort when the holoterminal behind Naweth flickered to life. The Darth stood and brushed the crumbs from his robes, replacing his mask before heading over to the terminal where Watcher One waited.

“Oh,” Baras folded his arms behind his back. “What can I do for Imperial Intelligence, Watcher?”

“There has been a complication on Alderaan,” the Watcher spoke. “We are unable to stop the terror cell from reaching its goals.”

“You are quite aware that everything will go as Jadus planned, then?” Baras questioned.

“Unless we do something drastic, yes,” Watcher One replied. “Which is why I’ve called you. This Sith who caused all of this chaos must pay.”

“Zash’s Apprentice,” Baras nodded. “My spies tell me she is no more. Thanaton has a bounty on the Sith’s head. Why bother me about him?”

“Because we need him to stop Jadus.”

“Ah,” Baras nodded sagely. “You have not forgotten our deal?”

“No.”

“Very well. I shall acquire him then.” Baras waved his hand and the transmission cut. He turned to his Apprentice and his Twi’lek slave, strangely free of her shock collar. “There will be time for questions later,” Baras informed. “A favor has been called in and I intend to deliver.”

Naweth raised an eyebrow.

“You will capture this Sith Lord, Ignite, and bring him to me for questioning. Should you find the time feel free to investigate your feelings on Tatooine. Go.”

Naweth nodded. “As you command.”

“Now where were we?” Baras turned to the spy. “Oh, yes!” Lightning forked from his hands into the man who screamed in agony.

“I think I’m gonna be sick,” Vette whispered.

“Don’t look,” Naweth guided her away. “And try to not antagonize the boss next time.”

Once they were clear of Baras’s quarters Vette lightened significantly. She whirled on Naweth and held her hands up like they were claws. “Alright! Back to Sith business! Grrrr!”

 

 

“What’s going on, Mako?” Waresh questioned the girl while they waited for Qyzen to acquire the Herald of the Scorekeeper.

“That Herald he keeps going on about is actually the Barsen’thor of the Jedi Order,” Mako informed. “The third one in history, to be exact.”

“The what now?” Gault questioned.

“He’s basically a paragon of wisdom and Jedi-ness,” Mako shrugged.

“And we’re calling him why?” Gault persisted.

“Because we need all the help we can get,” Waresh turned to the Devaronian. “Have the Jedi do all the hard work, knife him in the back, move along.”

“I heard that,” a voice said from the holoterminal. Mako smacked her forehead and all three turned. There was a clatter behind the two which drew their gaze: Gault had fainted.

“You’re the Barsen’thor?” Waresh questioned, clearly impressed.

“I am,” the Jedi, if you could call what was on the terminal that, replied.

“You look like a Sith,” Waresh noted.

It was true. The Barsen’thor did indeed look akin to a Sith; wearing a replica set of Revan’s robes and the disturbing visage of the mask of Nihilus.

“My name is Putridous,” the Jedi informed. “My appearance is of no concern to you. It does well to fool fellow Sith when they meet me.”

Waresh removed his helm, revealing the face of a battle-hardened young man with black hair and grey eyes. “I am Waresh, Champion of the Great Hunt.”

“I remember you,” Putridous gestured to Mako. “From when Qyzen spoke to you.”

“Y-yes,” Mako nodded. “You weren’t quite as intimidating back then.”

“Things change,” Putridous shrugged.

“I have a proposition for you, Jedi,” Waresh informed.

“Stabbing me in the back?” Putridous quipped.

“Aren’t Jedi supposed to be emotionless?” Waresh retaliated.

“Aren’t Bounty Hunters supposed to have honor?”

“He’s got you there,” Mako smirked.

 

 

“Before you begin,” Ignite halted Lord Kallig’s Ghost. “Let me un-possess my Jawa.”

“Why the speedy exit, boss?” Andronikus questioned, ignoring the fact that Pipsy-Zash, now free of Khem’s grasp, had grabbed one of his blasters. If the Jawa wanted to improve them he wasn’t going to argue. “And you’re doing what with the Jawa?”

“Master being in your presence warms my circuits!” Two-vee spoke up in his upbeat tone. “It reminds me I’m still functioning.”

The blaster in Pipsy’s hands discharged, sending the droid flying across the ship in several pieces. Pipsy-Zash let loose a Jawa cackle and readied the blaster for another shot before halting. There was a momentary pause before the Jawa plopped down on the deck and began disassembling the blaster.

Ignite looked over at the smoking wreckage of two-vee and sighed.

Declaration: The inferior model is finally no more.

“Guess who gets to clean the ship now?” Ignite turned his gaze to the droid.

Emphatic Statement: The inferior model must be repaired immediately.

Pipsy stood up and stamped her foot, holding her hands out and calling upon the Force; Ignite’s robes rustled slightly.

“The Witch is taking control,” Khem rumbled as he walked over to two-vee and began gathering the pieces. “I will repair the droid.”

“I better help him,” Andronikus mumbled, grabbing his blaster components and shaking his head.

“Any idea how to free this thing?” Ignite gestured to his Jawa.

Lord Kallig folded his arms and remained silent.

“HK?”

Speculation: Perhaps the Imprisoned One can aid us, Master.

“Ah the Rakatan Prison,” Ignite nodded to himself. “Guess we can give it a try.” He hoisted Pipsy up by the collar.

“Boss!” Pipsy flapped her arms. “Pipsy fix Pipsy!”

“We’re working on that,” ignite smirked as he followed HK to the cargo hold. The droid acquired the Rakatan artifact and activated it. Soon a holo-image of the Imprisoned One flickered to life.

“We are Rakata,” it intoned.

“Yeah,” Ignite interrupted the Rakata. “If you don’t want me to jettison you out of the airlock you’re going to suck the non-Jawa entity out of my Jawa and let it join you in there. I’m sure you’re lonely.”

The Rakata blinked.

Advisory Statement: The Imprisoned One should accept this most gracious offer. Master will not be so generous if he is forced to make another statement.

“Is the slave female?” The Rakata queried.

Ignite grinned. “Yes, and very attractive.”

“We accept,” the Rakata held out his hand and the prison began to glow. Ignite held Pipsy out and the Jawa jabbered and squirmed until she too began to glow. After several minutes Pipsy went still and the glow faded.

“Well?” Ignite questioned.

Zash flickered to life on the holo-image. “How DARE you, Apprentice!” She shrieked. “You’ve ruined everything!”

“Boss!” Pipsy pointed. “Scary lady!”

Ignite pumped his fist. “HK, if you’ll do the honors.”

Bemused Observation: Master, this unit humbly requests the Imprisoned One be renamed to Imprisoned Two.

Ignite chuckled. “Very well.”

Informative Statement: This most efficient unit will deactivate you now, Imprisoned Two. Master shall call upon you when he sees fit. The droid returned the Rakatan Prison to its dormant state and placed it in the back of the ship.

Threat: The Pipsqueak will cease tinkering with objects on the Restricted List or face liquidation.

“Restricted List?” Ignite raised an eyebrow.

“Pipsy know! Pipsy be good!” Pipsy promised before bouncing off.

Hopeful Query: Master, can I liquidate the Pipsqueak now?

Ignite sighed. “Some things never change.”

“Scary ghost!” Pipsy babbled. “Pipsy fix!”

“Not good,” ignite bolted from the room.

Self-Assuring Declaration: This unit shall one day liquidate the Pipsqueak.

 

Andronikus and Khem sat in the med bay repairing two-vee when they heard Pipsy call out, “Scary ghost!”

“Pipsy! No!” Ignite roared. “HK!”

Threat: The Pipsqueak will cease hostilities against the ghost or face liquidation!

“Not helping, HK!”

“Pipsy fix!”

“Want to go see what all the commotion is about?”

There was the sound of blaster fire. “HK! What the---“

“No,” Khem rumbled, tearing two-vee’s arm in half while attempting to restore it to the chasis.

“You might want to,” Andronikus looked up to see Khem drooling. “Never mind,” he shook his head.

Observation: The Pipsqueak has somehow managed to tamper with my assassination protocols, Master.

“Well get them under control!” Ignite shouted. “If I have to block another blaster bolt I’m gonna---“

“Some things never change,” Andronikus shook his head.

“Even on the Battlefields of Yn and Chabosh I never heard such ruckus,” Khem grumbled.

The Pirate looked up at his fellow crew mate. “What exactly happened on the Battlefields of Yn and Chabosh?”

Khem blinked.

 

 

Inside the Rakatan Prison the Imprisoned One rubbed his hands together when he saw his new slave weeping on the ground. He knelt down and grabbed her by the shoulder, causing her to turn around. The Rakata blinked.

"We have been deceived."

Zash screamed and fainted.

The Imprisoned One sighed. "It was going to be a long eternity."

Spoilers across the board!

 

“Flesh of my flesh you are not yet strong enough to face your new foe,” Lord Kallig informed after the initial chaos involving Pipsy subsided. The Jawa was helping Andronikus and Khem repair 2V, leaving HK and Ignite with the ghost.

Offended Retort: Do not doubt my Master’s abilities, Ghostbag.

“Ghostbag?” Ignite turned to his droid.

Statement: There are not bodily fluids in the Ghost, master .Therefore I have dubbed it Ghostbag.

The Sith Lord shrugged, “Fair enough.”

“As I was saying,” Kallig continued. “You need a way to obtain more power. There is an ancient ritual that can give power rapidly.”

“Well that’s good,” Ignite nodded.

“However you must return to Dromund Kaas to learn it.”

Ignite sighed and threw his hands up in the air. “Can’t anything ever go our way?”

Epiphany: Master, this calls for a stealth mission.

Ignite groaned. “HK last time we tried that we had to fight an army of angry Colicoids!” He still had nightmares of Balmorra.

Defensive Interjection: That was a miscalculation on my part, Master. The Colicoid spit…

“You never got spat on by a Colicoid!” Ignite jabbed a finger at his droid.

HK bristled. Indignant Argument: This unit clearly remembers his photoreceptors not registering the piece of metal which gave away our position.

“That piece of metal was a six foot wide pipe,” Ignite reminded flatly.

Dismissal: Details, Master.

“In the Dark Temple you will find your answers,” Kallig finished, vanishing into thin air.

Ignite thought in silence for a moment as HK stood at attention, his red eyes scanning his Master. Finally, the Sith Lord spoke, “So, stealth mission?”

If HK could smile, he would have. Reply: Yes, Master.

The two returned to the holoterminal room to find Khem and Andronikus emerging with a now walking 2V. The Sith Lord did well to hide is pleasure at seeing his protocol droid functioning once more. Pipsy appeared from behind Khem’s legs and tugged at Ignite’s robes.

“Boss! Pipsy fix nice droid!”

“Jawa can splice wires faster than I thought possible,” Andronikus admitted.

“Even on the battlefields of Yn and Chabosh I have not seen such dexterity,” Khem rumbled. “Not since the days of Tulak Hord.”

Acknowledgment: Greetings, Master. You are looking fit and deadly, as always!

Ignite raised an eyebrow at his protocol droid. “Two-vee?”

Amused Observation: It seems the Pipsqueak has tampered with the inferior model’s speech patterns.

Threat: If you wish to continue functioning, HK, you will no longer refer to me in that manner.

HK whipped his blaster from his shoulder, flicking the safety off. Counter-Threat: Prepare for dismantling, inferior model.

2V looked around and snatched Pipsy with both hands. Ominous Statement: Do not make me unleash this creature.

HK scoffed. Nonchalance: The Pipsqueak can no longer harm me. I have prepared for every conceivable hostility the Pipsqueak can perform.

Pipsy reached into her robes and whipped out a screwdriver, prying open HK’s chassis.

Threat: The Pipsqueak will cease hostilities at once or be jettisoned out of the nearest airlock.

Amused Retort: The HK model shows its incompetence in calculations.

Confused Query: Master, how should this unit proceed with this blatant display of hostile disrespect?

Ignite choked back a laugh and folded his arms. “You figure it out, HK.”

Hopeful Question: Weapons free?

“Nope,” Ignite shook his head. “Don’t forget we have a stealth mission to perform.”

HK turned his gaze to 2V once more. Assurance: This unit shall terminate you later, inferior model.

2V made a very rude arm gesture before dropping Pipsy and moving to clean the ship.

“Well that was interesting,” Andronikus nudged Khem.

“Master spoke of a stealth mission,” Khem rumbled. “I suppose I will not be going. Yet I hunger.”

“Pazaak?” The Pirate questioned hopefully.

“Very well,” Khem nodded.

“I suppose we could land above the Dark Temple,” Ignite rubbed his chin in thought. “They’ll never expect a full frontal assault.”

Statement: Such blatant disregard for stealth on a stealth mission will surely confuse the Meatbags, Master. It warms my core to know that you will be taking me on this mission and not the Pipsqueak.

Ignite chuckled. “Yes, Pipsy would be a bit loud on a stealth mission, huh?”

Emphatic Agreement: Yes, Master.

“I suppose Khem and Andro can handle her while we’re gone.”

Input: Along with the inferior model, Master.

“Oh no,” Ignite bit his lower lip to keep from laughing. “2V is going with us.”

Explicative: ****

 

*****

 

“Correct me if I’m wrong,” Gault looked around cautiously, “but this isn’t where Darth Jedi told us to meet.”

“Just because he was in a disconcerting outfit does not make him a bad guy,” Mako frowned. “Why are we on the Imperial Fleet, War?”

The Bounty Hunter held up a purple ticket. “Backup,” he said flatly.

“The Barsen’thor isn’t enough?” Mako questioned politely.

“I’m not up for taking any chances,” Waresh shrugged as they entered the Cartel Bazaar area. A golden protocol droid awaited them and took the purple ticket.

“Greetings and salutations, most feared Bounty Hunter! My client looks forward to working directly for you. She has done many great things, most notably saving a group of orphans from a tyrannical Sith Lord and single-handedly taking over a star destroyer.

“Tough guy,” Waresh nodded. “Star Destroyer combat is rough stuff. Close quarters; a wrong shot will shoot an entire cabin into space.”

“A fact my client used to her advantage,” the droid nodded.

“Her?” Mako raised an eyebrow.

“Don’t worry,” Waresh whispered. “My heart still belongs to you.”

“Cute,” Gault quipped. “Ow!” He rubbed his arm where Mako had punched him.

“Here she comes now,” the droid was unperturbed by their antics. The three turned to see the bay doors open but no figure could be seen through the crowd of people.”

“Maybe she got stage fright?” Gault folded his arms and smirked.

Suddenly the group of people started disappearing. One woman screamed and fell to the ground; a man bent over at the waist. Two people went launching from the group in different directions. Finally a blaster fired and they scattered.

“I like her already,” Waresh nodded his approval. His eyes widened behind his helm when he noted an Ewok approaching. Mako hid her smile behind her hand, her eyes shining in adoration. Gault laughed.

“An Ewok?” He slapped his thigh. “This is your backup!”

The Ewok gave the Devaronian a spare glance before walking over and punching him square in the jewels. Gault gave an eep before collapsing in a ball on the ground.

“I really like her,” Waresh nodded.

“I am Treek,” the Ewok informed. “You are Chief. I will fight for you. May our enemies fear our approach as we carve our legacy in the stars.”

“You’re hired,” Waresh shook Treek’s hand. “Let’s go, guys.”

“Coming,” Gault wheezed.

Mako let loose a squeal of delight and gathered the Ewok in her arms. “She’s so CUTE! Finally! Another girl to talk to!”

 

*****

 

“My lord,” Malavai Quinn bowed low at Naweth’s return to the ship. “The engines are prepped and ready for launch upon your command.”

“Just Naweth, Quinn,” the Sith smiled. “Good work having the ship ready.”

“Yeah, Captain Uptight,” Vette giggled. “You want to shine my shoes too?”

Quinn stiffened. “I’d rather die,” he seethed. “Permission to speak freely, my lord.”

“Naweth, Quinn,” Naweth nodded. “Granted.”

“Why do you allow this slave to run unchained and unrestricted?” He gestured to Vette who bristled and opened her mouth to retort. “You must have control and fear to command respect.”

Naweth’s eyes narrowed, causing Quinn to swallow and contemplate if he had overstepped his bounds. “Captain, Vette is not a slave. She is our crewmate and shall be treated as such; am I clear?”

“Crystal, my lord,” Quinn nodded emphatically. “My apologies.”

“None needed,” Naweth waved as he left to his quarters, “although you may want to apologize to Vette.”

Quinn’s expression fell and Vette, sensing her victory, strutted past the Captain, flipping her lekku at him. “You need to relax, Quinny-poo.”

“I will do no such thing,” Quinn did not look at the infuriating Twi’lek.

“Haven’t you realized it yet?” Vette questioned.

“That you are insufferable?”

“That our Sith friend isn’t very Sithy,” Vette pointed out. “He’s a good man.”

Quinn scoffed. “There are no good Sith,” he protested.

“But there are good men,” Vette smiled sweetly, no longer antagonizing the uptight Captain. “You have the potential to be a good man too, Quinn.” She walked off to her own quarters intent on taking a long shower to wash the presence of Baras from her skin.

Malavai Quinn swallowed and grabbed his datapad, desperately trying to ignore his own shaking hand. The words of Vette stuck with him and gave him pause. He shook his head, and his guilt, before sending the new itinerary to the crew. He heard Vette groan and something hit the wall, bringing a smile to his face.

“I’m not a good man,” he whispered before departing to his room.

 

Naweth had just finished putting on his pants when Vette barged into his room. The Twi’lek turned a lighter shade of blue before looking away; but not before she took a long hard look at the rock hard muscle of the man’s torso.

“How can I help you, Vette?” Naweth questioned as he pulled a skin tight black shirt over his head.

“I-I just wanted to say thank you,” she stammered, finally composing herself enough to turn around.

“For?” Naweth raised an eyebrow.

“For defending me against Baras,” she hung her head. “I’m sorry. I should watch my mouth more often. Sometimes it just blurts out.”

Naweth chuckled and patted Vette on the shoulder. “No worries,” he whispered. “I like that about you.”

Vette blushed harder.

“And for Quinn,” she whispered, unable to meet his crystal blue eyes.

“The Captain is a good man,” Naweth nodded. “Just misinformed and slightly prejudiced; we’ll fix that.”

“We,” Vette said, testing the word. “We.”

“Come,” Naweth pointedly steered the conversation away from the word, guiding her to the holoterminal room where Quinn was waiting.

“Right on time, my lord,” Quinn never looked up from his datapad.

“We have been tasked with hunting down and capturing the Sith Lord Ignite,” Naweth informed the Captain. “I believe, however, that the disturbance on Tatooine warrants investigation.”

“I shall plot a course immediately,” Quinn saluted and walked off.

“Never takes a break,” Vette muttered. “What do you think we’ll find on Tatooine?” She tried to keep the disappointment and hurt from being brushed off from her voice, but Naweth sensed them. The Sith shrugged and caught Vette’s eyes with his own. “I do not know,” he replied before taking a seat at a table and removing a deck of cards from his pocket. “Pazaak?”

Vette brightened immediately. “Sure!”

 

*****

 

Sneaks paced the interior of his ship, biting a nail as he thought about how to process the new information. Jadus was alive and planning to spread terror throughout the Empire through the Eagle and take a spot on the Dark Council.

Then there was the Sith Lord who had cost them the entire op; now being hunted by both Darth Baras’s apprentice and the Champion of the Great Hunt. Ironically enough Sneaks had also been tasked with tracking this Sith down for the sole purpose of recruiting him to stop Darth Jadus.

There was only one problem: he didn’t know where to begin.

“Struggling, Agent?”

“Yeah,” Sneaks rubbed his eyes. “I need more information before we can plan out our strategy.”

“The nest is unable to locate the Sith Lord,” Vector informed. “We apologize, Agent.”

“I could call a friend,” Kaliyo tapped her chin. “Don’t know how much it is going to cost though.”

“Do it,” Sneaks hissed.

Kaliyo shrugged and entered in a number. The holoterminal flickered to life and a man whirled with a charming smile.

“Hello, beautiful!” He said. “To what do I owe this call?”

“Hey, Doc,” Kaliyo said seductively. “I need a favor.”

“Now remember,” Ignite paced slowly, “no fixing hyperdrives, blasters, lightsabers, or my ship.”

“Pipsy be good!” Pipsy promised.

“No activating scary lady and be sure to listen to Andro and Khem,” Ignite continued.

“Pipsy listen! Boss no want fix?”

“Correct,” Ignite beamed, satisfied the Jawa was comprehending. “Can you two handle her?”

Andronikus and Khem looked at each other and shrugged. “How hard can it be?” The Pirate questioned lightly.

Statement: You have no idea, Meatbag.

Counter-statement: Do not listen to the defective HK model. He can barely handle his own protocols, let alone a Jawa.

Defensive Retort: This unit had spit in his photoreceptors!

“And you two,” Ignite pointed at his droids. “This is a stealth mission. Quiet. Got it?”

Affirmation: Understood, Master.

Request: I require a weapon, Master.

“That is true,” Ignite rubbed his chin. “Maybe you can borrow one of HK’s?”

HK bristled. Vehement Protestation: Master, this Inferior model is not worthy of one of my weapons!

“Oh come now, HK,” Ignite rolled his eyes. “It’s only for a little bit.”

Retort: The inferior model’s chassis was not built for combat.

Insult: And the defective HK model continues to lack productivity.

HK leveled his blaster at two-vee. Threat: This unit will gladly terminate you.

“Play nice,” Ignite ignored the two for the moment, turning to Andronikus. “Are we close?”

“Very,” Andro said, maneuvering the ship to hover above the Dark Temple. “Stealth mode engaged. You’ll be dropping down in front of a tomb.”

“Good enough,” Ignite noted HK had, albeit begrudgingly, relinquished one of his blasters. “Shall we?”

The three exited the ship, leaving Khem, Andronikus and Pipsy alone. Andronikus turned to the Dashade. “Pazaak?”

Khem shrugged. “I hunger.”

“Take that as a yes,” Andronikus produced a deck from his jacket pocket and paused. “Where’s the Jawa?”

There was a crash from Ignite’s room causing Andronikus and Khem to freeze.

“Not good,” the Dashade rumbled.

 

“Now cull your petty arguing for now,” Ignite lectured his droids harshly at the entrance to the tomb. “We’re going to get in, learn this technique, and get out. Got it?”

The Sith turned around and took two steps when he heard a blaster discharge. There were several clangs and then silence. Ignite whirled on his heel to see 2V-R8 in pieces all around. He raised an eyebrow. “Why did you frag two-vee?”

Lie: This unit did no such thing, Master.

Ignite paused. “You know that you’re telling me you’re lying, yeah?”

Partial Truth: My blaster discharged.

“You thought that liquidating—“

Correction: Terminating.

“Terminating two-vee would solve the arguing problem?”

Honest Reply: With the inferior model terminated there is no longer anything to argue about, Master.

Ignite shrugged. He had a point. “You’re fixing two-vee when we get done.”

HK’s eyes flashed. Acceptance: Very well, Master.

Ignite threw his hands in the air. “Droids,” he muttered in disgust.

The two vanished into the dark of the tomb, unaware of the ship above suddenly appearing from its cloaking devices.

 

“Oi!” Andronikus shook the Jawa roughly and pointed at the control panel above Ignite’s bed. “What are you doing?!”

“Pipsy fix!” The Jawa said proudly, pointing at a screwdriver in her free hand.

“Boss said no fix!” Andronikus countered.

“Shall I eat the Jawa?” Khem questioned.

“Would you?”

The Dashade paused in thought. “No,” he decided.

Andronikus chucked Pipsy at Khem. “Let me go see what she ruined,” he sighed. The Pirate went to the bridge and paused as he notated the many flashing lights and alarms, currently muted, blaring. He entered a few commands into the primary console and watched as two ships appeared on the holocam.

“Not good,” he muttered. “Khem! We’ve got company!”

 

“I said STEALTH!” Ignite roared at HK ten minutes later. “How by the sands of Tatooine am I supposed to explain THIS?!” The Sith Lord pointed accusingly at the mountain of corpses; composed of crazed acolytes and Imperial soldiers.

Response: This unit was merely initiating assassination protocols—

“I said STEALTH!” Ignite shouted.

Rebuttal: You’re not being very stealthy, Master.

The Twi’lek threw his hands into the air. “I give up! You’re impossible! Just liquidate everything from here to the next coffin!”

Gleeful Acquiescence: As you command, Master.

Several blasters shots, explosions, and a few grappling hands later the path was clear and Ignite stormed into the crypt, shoving the lid off of the coffin. “If you’re going to teach me this technique awaken from the dead and do it already!”

The corpse shot up and gripped the Sith by the throat. HK was not kind. Seconds later all that remained was a hand which Ignite calmly detached from his throat. The ghost appeared behind the Sith and droid.

“This is how you greet the dead?!” He scolded. “Desecrating my grave?!”

Ignite pointed to himself. “Sith?”

HK pointed at himself. Reply: HK?

“Well I must say I am quite impressed,” the Sith folded his hands behind his back. “What can I do for you?”

“I need to learn some mystical technique to suck the power from the dead,” Ignite waved nonchalantly. “I was told you could teach me.”

“I can indeed teach you!” The ghost flourished grandiosely. “However, it will take many days to…” He trailed off when he heard a beeping noise.

“You gonna get that, HK?”

Query: Yes, Meatbag?

“Two hostiles are landing outside the tomb. Big trouble!” Andronikus informed.

“We’re going to need the short version,” Ignite sighed.

“Well all you really need to do is wave your arms around and channel the Force, sucking the ghost into your body. I should warn you that—Hey! Wait!”

Ignite staggered to his knees, glowing purple. “Yeesh,” he gagged. “Tastes like death!”

Report: Master, we must move with haste.

“Yeah I know,” Ignite forced himself to his feet. “How much time do we have?”

Reply: Thirty seconds.

“Well paint me blue and call me a Chiss,” Ignite muttered.

Informative Reply: That is anatomically impossible, Master.

 

“Looks like that Bounty Hunter you encountered earlier,” Andronikus noted. “Good thing we’re in stealth mode.”

The Bounty Hunter pointed up at the ship.

“We appear to not be in stealth mode,” Khem narrowed his eyes at the Jawa.

Pipsy gave a thumbs up. “Ship no see! Now Boss see!”

“That second ship looks to be Imperial; and if the holo-net is correct that’s Cipher Nine of II.”

“II?”

“Imperial Intelligence,” Andronikus squinted. “Is that a Sith with them?”

“Looks to be one,” Khem shrugged.

“Odd to see a Sith with a blue lightsaber,” Andronikus mused aloud. “Should we help them?”

“It would appear the droid did not make it,” Khem pointed at the tomb entrance.

“Egads!” Andronikus exclaimed. “Seems like they got to two-vee and started the party early!”

Ignite and HK appeared moments later and halted midstride. HK leveled his blaster and Ignite activated his lightsaber.

“We’re going to need to do something,” Andronikus looked up at Khem. The Dashade glanced down at Pipsy. “I like the way you think,” Andronikus chuckled.

 

“I thought you said two hostiles?” Ignite growled at HK.

Confused Response: It would appear more have arrived, Master.

Ignite glanced over at Waresh, what appeared to be a Jedi who wanted to be a Sith, and the pair of Rattataki. “You I remember,” he pointed at Waresh. “What’s a Jedi doing dressed like a Sith?”

“I am Lord Putridous,” the Jedi spoke in an emotionless voice.

“Spare me,” Ignite drawled. “I can smell the Light side of the Force a mile away.”

“Does it smell like roses in the springtime?” Putridous questioned hopefully.

“Actually all I smell right now is death, courtesy of HK.”

Proud reply: Thank you, Master.

Waresh leveled a blaster at Ignite and turned another to the Rattataki pair. They both bristled; the female leveled her own blaster at Waresh and the male at Ignite.

“You are?” Ignite remained at ease.

“Cipher Nine of Imperial Intelligence. You need to come with me for questioning.”

“I’m afraid we need him first,” Waresh informed the Agent.

“Can’t let you do that,” Sneaks sighed.

Ignite opened his mouth to comment when Thanaton appeared from behind the Agents. “Ah, it is good to see you remained for me to destroy you, Ignite.” Two lightsabers and four blasters turned to Thanaton. “Or we could just talk.” The weapons returned to their original targets.

“How did you find me?” Ignite raised an eyebrow.

Thanaton pointed up. “Your ship is in plain view from Kaas City. Furthermore it would appear that your little tryst through the Dark Temple has been plastered all over the holo-net. It would seem your two-vee model droid was set to broadcast and continues to do so.

HK whirled and fired at the spare parts of two-vee.

“Not helping,” Ignite halted the droid.

Realization: The Pipsqueak is responsible, Master. She should be liquidated immediately!

Ignite smacked his forehead.

Thanaton prepared to continue his monologue when the bushes rustled and a man came stumbling free equipped with several medical probes and devices.

“Have no fear! Doc is here, baby!” The mad slid to a halt beside Kaliyo. “Hey, babe!” He waggled his eyebrows.

“Where’s the Jedi?” Kaliyo looked around.

“Just me, sweetie,” Doc smoothed his hair, breathing heavily. “Lucky you.”

Kaliyo grabbed Doc by the collar, “You were supposed to bring the Jedi!”

“He’s busy on his mission to assassinate the Emperor,” Doc informed nonchalantly. “Besides the Barsen’fail is here.”

“Barsen’thor,” Putridous corrected sagely.

“Yeah, whatever,” Doc waved his hand. “So do I get a kiss for coming to the rescue?” He waggled his eyebrows seductively. Kaliyo smacked him, hard.

“Woo baby!” Doc roared. “Daddy likes!”

Three lightsabers and four blasters turned to Doc.

“Can we please kill this guy and continue threatening one another?” Sneaks pleaded.

“I must admit I’m disappointed in Imperial Intelligence’s ability to garner aid,” Thanaton admitted.

“This is your fault, Kaliyo!” Sneaks accused.

“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Doc continued, oblivious to the fact that he was going to die painfully, “good ole’ Doc will take care of everything!”

“Am I the only one who heard that he intends to assassinate the Emperor?” Waresh asked in confusion.

“You really think he’s capable?” Ignite gestured.

“That’s it,” Sneaks prepared to fire. Before he could pull the trigger a scream drew everyone’s attention skyward. Pipsy landed on HK, the two collapsing into a pile. There was a click and an explosion of smoke. After that…chaos.

 

*****

 

“I think it’d be wise to acquire Doc, and fast,” Kira Carsen explained to Elwind; currently the Jedi’s greatest weapon. “I don’t think the Council will be too happy to hear about this.”

“Doc is probably dead,” Elwind sighed in agitation. “I told him not to go.”

“We’re going to get Doc,” Kira reaffirmed.

Elwind raised an eyebrow. “I suppose our extracurricular activities will cease until I comply, eh?”

“Got that right.”

“Fudge.” Elwind shrugged. “Guess we’re going to rescue the Galaxy’s Greatest Idiot.”

 

*****

 

“Havoc Squad you’re being recalled from your current mission to respond to an immediate threat to galactic security!” General Garza informed the CO, Gnox. “It would seem a critical Jedi assignment has been leaked to the general public and the traitorous scum must be brought in.”

“Well at least I’ll get promoted,” Jorgan muttered.

“We’re on it,” Gnox saluted.

“I trust you will not fail,” Garza affirmed.

“We never do.”

 

*****

 

“You’re never going to believe this,” Vette giggled uncontrollably. “Someone is going to assassinate the Emperor!”

Quinn bristled. “Enough with your games!”

“I’m serious!” Vette replied, wounded. “It’s all over the holo-net!”

Quinn sighed and checked his datapad. “It would appear you are correct.”

“That’s all you’re gonna give me, eh?”

Quinn was silent.

“You two think we should investigate?” Naweth folded his arms.

“This warrants looking into,” Quinn input.

“Well if Captain Uptight says to get involved I say we stay away!” Vette skipped off.

Naweth rolled his eyes. “Set a course for Kaas, Captain.”

Quinn saluted. “Right away, my Lord.”

 

*****

 

“Lord Scourge, I require the removal of these idiots,” a voice demanded of the current Emperor’s Wrath.

The pureblood knelt. “As you command, Lord.” His eyes flashed with annoyance as he turned on his heel and walked to his ship.

“So much for visions…”

Thank you all for continuing to read! We’ve broken 2,000 views and are climbing! HK, would you like to say anything?

Gratuitous Statement: This unit wants to extend thanks to the Meatbag Readers who continue to read of my exploits. Know that, should the time come, I will end your existence in the most painless way possible. Ominous Assurance: For those who refuse to read… I am coming for you! Assassination protocols engaged. Weapons free!

HK! WAIT!

 

Chapter Five: Stealth Gone Wrong

 

Threat: The Pipsqueak will cease hostilities against this unit at once!

Ignite coughed and sent a few stray blaster bolts into the ground before catching a gout of lightning with his saber. “HK! Help!”

Directive: The Pipsqueak will liquidate the Meatbags with extreme prejudice!

“Pipsy fix!”

Alarming Cry: AUGHH! Remove the arc-tech screwdriver! Remove the arc-tech screwdriver! MEDIC!

“Someone call for a Medic?!” Doc’s voice hollered through the smoke. “Have no fear! Doc is here!”

“Get down, you idiot!” Kaliyo shouted.

“I will kill you, Ignite! It’s time to put you down for dishonoring the Sith traditions!” Thanaton promised.

“Pipsy! Go fix nice droid!” Ignite roared as the lightning increased in intensity. The Sith channeled his newfound power and retaliated with his own, pushing against Thanaton.

“Pipsy fix nice droid!” Pipsy promised. HK stood shakily and readied his blaster, his photoreceptors shining in the smoke.

Amazed Assessment: All of my functions are at peak efficiency, Master.

“THEN USE THEM!”

Offended Counter: You don’t have to shout, Master. I am programmed with the most advanced hear—

“Bad time, HK!”

The droid shrugged and fired several shots into the smoke. Statement: Assassination protocols activated!

“Well that’s not good,” Waresh muttered, ducking under the incoming fire and glaring at his Jedi companion who calmly deflected a few bolts. “Aren’t you supposed to be, you know, helping?”

“What would you have me do?” Putridous glanced down at the Hunter. “Charging into the fray with emotion is not the Jedi way.”

“I don’t give two banthas about the Jedi way!” Waresh pointed at the Jedi. “Bring that Sith Lord down!”

“As you wish,” Putridous vanished into the fog; all that could be seen was a blue lightsaber casually deflecting the influx of blaster bolts.

Warning: Master, the imposter Meatbag is approaching.

“The Jedi?” Ignite grunted, his control over the lightning fading fast.

Affirmation: Yes, Master.

“Can’t you stop him?”

Indignant Response: Of course, Master!

Ignite managed to throw a deadpan look in HK’s direction.

The droid stiffened and, without looking, pressed a button on his arm; off shot his hand through the fog.

“I can’t see a freaking thing in this smoke!” Sneaks hissed to Kaliyo, the Agent having taken cover the moment the fighting started.

“That’s good for us though, right?” Kaliyo questioned lightly, kneeling beside the Rattataki.

“Don’t you worry about a thing,” Doc crossed his arms. “Ole Doc will-ulp!”

Proud Declaration: I have him, Master!

“Then why is the blue light getting closer?!” Ignite ceased his lightning and rolled out of the way, the ground exploding in a shower of dirt and fire behind him.

Retort: Because this unit is reeling him in, Master! HK paused as his hand returned with Doc attached. Astonished Observation: This is not the imposter Meatbag, Master.

The blue light swung in HK’s direction, halting as it realized Doc was currently being used as a meat shield.

“Release the prisoner, droid,” Putridous requested sagely.

Threat: The imposter Meatbag Jedi will cease hostilities against this unit or the idiot Meatbag shall be liquidated with extreme prejudice!

“If you liquidate him, what will stop me from destroying you?”

Intrigued Reply: This unit is impressed with the ruthlessness displayed, imposter Meatbag Jedi. However my scans of your bodily fluids show that you are lying.

“That just sounds bad,” Waresh shook his head across the battlefield.

“Or perhaps I can control my—ah—bodily fluids to convince you otherwise?”

Defensive Statement: This unit does not like the imposter Meatbag Jedi’s logic.

“Can I say something?” Doc wheezed.

Response: No.

“I’m kinda loking,” Doc struggled.

Baffled Reply: Of course you are choking, idiot Meatbag! I have you by the throat!

“I’m afraid I must intervene,” Putridous sighed.

Ignite caught the Jedi’s lightsaber with his own. “Don’t touch my droid!”

“You would be so much better serving the light,” Putrioud shoved against the Sith, both rolling out of the way as Thanaton sent more lightning into the smoke.

“Don’t try and turn me, fool,” Ignite spat. “I am not so weak-minded.”

“Peace is not weak,” Putridous countered.

“Denial of your emotions is.”

“He’s got you there,” Thanaton admitted from afar.

“Last chance, Sith,” Putridous informed almost pleadingly. “Surrender peacefully.”

Ignite held his arms out boastfully. “So far none of you have managed to stop me, Jedi. Until you do I’m not going to do any—oomph!”

A hulking form crashed into Ignite, sending him sprawling away. Putridous sighed aloud when he saw another red lightsaber appear in the smoke. “I’m done,” he casually deactivated his own lightsaber and strolled in the direction of Waresh, patting the Hunter on the shoulder.

“Have fun killing yourselves, Sith,” he called. Waresh watched him depart and cursed silently before deciding retreat was a good option; he’d had enough of Sith for one day.

“Now would be a good time to get out of here,” Kaliyo hissed to Sneaks.

“Why would we do that?” The Agent questioned with a raised eyebrow. “It’s just starting to get good!”

“Because Doc is gone!”

Sneaks blinked. “Noted.”

“Who the?!” Ignite jumped back to his feet in time to intercept a lightsaber strike that drove him to his knees.

“You dare threaten our Emperor?” A voice demanded.

“Wha-?” Ignite rolled when he sensed incoming lightning. The other Sith was not so lucky and went tumbling away. “HK! We’re leaving!”

Complication: Master, this unit cannot release the idiot Meatbag.

“Then bring him along for torture.”

Gleeful Reply: With pleasure, Master.

“Pipsy!” Ignite shouted. “HK! Get Andro down here stat!”

Statement: The Master demands you retrieve us, Meatbag.

“Yeah I heard,” Andronikus replied from his comlink. “How’d you like your backup?”

Horrified Admission: The Pipsqueak nearly gutted me on the field!

HK paused mid-stride.

Emphatic Statement: It is NOT funny, Meatbag! Assurance: If you were not on my Meatbag Protection List I would liquidate you with extreme prejudice!

“Let’s go, HK!” Ignite hoisted Pipsy over his shoulder along with two-vee’s chassis. “Grab the rest of the inferior model.”

“Pipsy fix!”

“I see that,” Ignite forced a smile, looking to the sky nervously; the smoke was beginning to clear.

Complaint: Master, the Meatbag will not stop laughing at my plight!

“Well it is kind of funny, HK.”

Indignant Baffled Retort: This unit would like to remind the Master that there are still two hostiles waiting to liquidate us on the field of battle! Furthermore I am most displeased to see you taking the side of the Meatbag! Also I would like to file a formal complaint against the sickening display of affection the Pipsqueak is currently receiving.

Ignite raised an eyebrow. “Need I remind you you’re still holding the idiot Meatbag?”

Sarcastic Reply: Master I want to extent my thanks for you noting such a minute detail. I pray that your processors did not strain too harshly to compute such a thing.

The Fury blared overhead and Ignite boarded the descending ramp, HK in tow. “Really, HK, I don’t see what the issue is with Andro having a laugh at your expense.”

Wrathful Reply: I am the pinnacle achievement of the Hunter Killer model, Master! I will not be demeaned by a Meatbag!

Ignite looked his droid over. “Ah,” he chuckled, reaching forward and removing the arc-tech screwdriver. “That would explain it.”

Assurance: I will liquidate that Pipsqueak.

“Mean droid be nice to Pipsy! Pipsy fix!”

Thanaton watched his prey disappear into the sky and tapped his chin as he listened to the droid and, he assumed a Jawa, argue. Judging by the conversation of the Sith Lord and his companions he had little to fear from them. He shrugged and walked away, not paying the slightest attention to the fact that there had been another Sith in the chaos.

 

Not one minute after Thanaton departed another Jedi burst onto the scene, Kira Carsen in tow. He took one look at the battlefield and noted a hulking man staggering to his feet; and the red lightsaber he wielded. Both Jedi ignited their own sabers and waited.

Naweth shook his head. “Gotta learn to dodge that stuff,” he grunted, looking around. “Vette?”

“Sith,” Elwind called. “Where is Doc?”

“Where is Vette?” The Sith retaliated. “If you killed her I will annihilate you.”

Elwind paused. “Jedi?”

“Oh, right.”

“I don’t think this guy killed Doc,” Kira whispered.

“Who is this Vette?” Elwind questioned, eager to avoid a fight if necessary.

“She was with me when I intercepted Ignite,” Naweth looked around. “He appears to have fled the scene. I’m assuming Doc was the man the droid had by the throat.”

“What?!” Kira cried.

“Was he dead?” Elwind asked hopefully.

“Elwind!”

“Oh, right,” Elwind cleared his throat. “That is dire news indeed.”

Naweth cocked his head to the side. “Yeah…So…”

“Do we—uh—fight?” Elwind looked at his lightsabers.

“Can I get a rain check? I kinda have to recover my Twi’lek.”

“Well this is a first,” Kira snorted.

“You’re not very Sithy,” Elwind admitted.

“And you’re not very Jediey,” Naweth countered.

“Both of you are idiots,” another voice scoffed. “Had I not seen you in my visions I would slaughter you where you stand.”

The three stiffened as a pureblood Sith strolled out in full battle armor, his own lightsaber shining crimson red. “I am Lord Scourge, also known as the Emperor’s Wrath. It seems that you two have saved me the trouble of tracking you down.”

“I’m just here to stop the Emperor’s assassination and retrieve my Twi’lek,” Naweth shrugged.

“And I’m just here to get the galaxy’s greatest idiot,” Elwind informed. “Was going to assassinate the Emperor, but that plan is kinda busted wide open now.”

“Then it seems we have a common goal,” Scourge deactivated his lightsaber.

Elwind, Naweth and Kira all responded simultaneously. “We do?”

 

“Never knew a screwdriver could alter your personality so much, HK,” Ignite chuckled as he spun it around. “Pipsy, fix HK’s hand so the prisoner can breathe.”

“Pipsy fix!”

HK felt the Jawa open his thigh panel and would have shivered if he could. Horrified Declaration: I never want to go through that again, Master.

“I believe it,” Ignite nodded. “Feeling better?”

HK released Doc, finally. Statement: Yes, Master. This unit acknowledges that the Pipsqueak actually fixed something.

“Pipsy fix man now!”

Amused Admittance: Master, the Pipsqueak could inflict far greater horrors on this Meatbag than I.

“That’s something to consider,” Ignite rubbed his chin. “Khem, can you take our friend here to the brig?”

“We don’t have a brig, Master,” Khem rumbled.

Ignite’s eyes widened. “We don’t? Well fudge. Put him in the airlock for now then. That’ll get his attention.”

Hopeful Query: Can I vent him into space, Master?

“Not yet, HK,” Ignite chuckled before he eyed Pipsy. “Actually. Better just strap him down to a table in the medbay, Khem. Pipsy may accidentally vent him into space.”

“Pipsy fix!”

HK stiffened. Warning: Master, I detect an unidentified organic Meatbag pilfering your belongings. Namely your underwear drawer.

Ignite looked down at Pipsy who waved shyly. He noted Khem failing to strap Doc down and leaned back to see Andronikus currently piloting the ship.

“That’s impossible,” Ignite scoffed. “You sure it’s not Kallig?”

The ghost appeared. “Flesh of my flesh, you are alive!”

“Well that’s not good,” Ignite muttered. “Activate assassination protocols, HK.”

Assurance: They are always active, Master.

“If it’s Thanaton, shoot first and ask questions later.”

Acquiescence: As you command, Master.

“Andro, you got Pipsy!”

“I can’t fly and Jawa-sit!”

“Khem you’ve got Pipsy-duty!” Ignite looked down at Pipsy. “Go help Khem, Pipsy.”

The Jawa headed over to the Dashade after a thumbs up.

“Where to, Kallig?”

“Taris, flesh of my flesh.”

“Taris, Andro!”

“Roger that.”

“Now let’s go see who’s raiding my underwear drawer,” Ignite shuddered.

*Brushes off dust*

Whew!

So I know it's been a long time... Like 3+ years long... You see I've been wanting to continue for awhile now but couldn't remember exactly where I was going and really didn't have a good starting point to continue/pick up from. Then, about ten minutes ago, an epiphany hit me so hard I actually said, "Aha!" aloud. I have realized how to reconcile everything written and continue in a new direction simultaneously.

So without further ado, I invite you, once more, to enjoy the world of Ignite, HK-51, and Pipsy (along with others).

 

Also, before you continue: SPOILERS for, like, everything ever in SWTOR.

Does that cover it?

I certainly hope so.

 

Chapter Six: The Ultimate Hangover

 

How interesting this is... A voice mused in the darkness. Such a development not even I foresaw.

Ignite groaned and struggled to stand, barely managing to open his eyes and wincing against the bright bluish light that assaulted him.

"My head." He grasped at his head, surprised when his hand passed through what should have been his forehead. The haze was gone in an instant, and Ignite snapped to attention at the surprise of finding himself a ghost. "How?" He questioned aloud.

Such an interesting dream. The voice, male and deep, reverberated in his ethereal skull. I must say you have a vivid imagination.

Ignite blinked. "Yeah?"

What do you remember, I wonder?

"Escaping Thanaton's clutches?" Ignite shrugged. "And someone raiding my..." He trailed off. "Ah."

It would seem the carbonite poisoning has addled your mind. Frankly I am not surprised.

An image flashed across Ignite's mind, one of Emperor Valkorion getting sabered in the spine. "How did you miss your son stabbing you in the spine, again?"

The voice seemed to bristle. It was meant to be. So that we may be complete.

"Gross." Ignite blanched. "How do I get out of here? And what did you mean by carbonite poisoning?"

Those questions will be answered in due time. Valkorion assured. For now I suggest you press onwards and face many trails of dubious origin.

"Is there a potential for death?"

Yes. Of course.

"Yeah." Ignite shook his ethereal head fervently. "Nope. Not doing it."

Need I remind you, you are already dying?

"And I need to expedite the process why?"

Your point is not lost on me. I must insist you press on.

"Negative," Ignite sat down and folded his arms. "I'll wait."

Valkorion was clearly vexed, and his voice bounced around Ignite's skull. I spent a lot of time setting these up. To test your will to survive.

"See therein lies the problem," Ignite lifted his head and spoke to the darkened fake sky above. "Every time I follow up on something like this bad things happen. I'm just going to sit this one out and wait. You watch. I'll get out of this somehow."

You're frozen in carbonite. Valkorion deadpanned.

"Somehow!" Ignite insisted stubbornly.

There was a rumble and the sky shattered like glass, the shards falling down about the Twi'lek who began to laugh. "Oh-ho! Ominous!" He taunted aloud. There was a groaning noise and then Ignite's ethereal form vanished, along with the dream world he inhabited.

Stale, hot, air mixed with a copious amount of steam assaulted the Twi'lek's face and a great hissing noise nearly split his eardrums. Ignite attempted to cry out and instead vomited up an odd fluid, he assumed part of the carbonite freezing process.

The Twi'lek attempted to stand and found his muscles refusing to respond to even the basest of commands. The once mighty Darth Nox lay splayed on the cold metal grating, incapacitated.

Exuberant Statement: I have at last found you, Master! Reprimand: How dare you send me off with those worthless coward Meatbags? This unit expects more from you, Master!

"HK?" Ignite blinked, seeing nothing but blobs and darkness. "I can't see."

Reply: Obviously, Master. You have been frozen for five years and are currently suffering from carbonite poisoning. This unit finds it extremely hard to believe you are still sloshing, Master.

Ignite cracked a small smile. He'd missed HK more than he'd ever care to admit. Something the droid said nagged at him until it hit him like a crashing wave. "FIVE years?!"

"Really," a feminine voice sighed. "He is under a great deal of duress. Now is not the time for such conversations."

HK remained stoic, his red photoreceptors unblinking as they bored holes in the one currently speaking.

"My Lord," the feminine voice spoke softly. "I am going to administer an antidote for your carbonite poisoning."

"Ah, great--" Ignite began.

"It's going to hurt," the voice interrupted. "A lot."

"Ah, no..." Ignite sighed.

Threat: The Lady Sith Meatbag will not hurt the Master, or face extreme liquidation.

"If I don't administer the antidote he will die!" The voice retorted in agitation.

Query: And if the Master dies of pain?

"He's already dying!" The voice practically shrieked.

"Oh, Lana," Ignite finally remembered the voice, his memory still very hazy. "It'll be okay, HK."

"Finally a voice of reason," Lana sighed in relief, jabbing the syringe into the Twi'lek and shooting the contents into his aching body. Ignite began with a low groan and ended with a high-pitched scream.

Observation: Master, it would seem the carbonite poisoning has allowed you to reach a new octave.

"Is this droid always this daft?" Lana muttered to Ignite as she helped lift the sweating Twi'lek to his feet. Ignite managed to stand shakily and felt a cold metallic hand wrap around his body, supporting him.

"Thanks HK," Ignite sighed in relief. He turned to the direction of Lana, not realizing he was facing the opposite way. "HK is unique," he assured. "I wouldn't change anything about him."

Boast: I am the pinnacle achievement of droids. Perfection. Nothing can breach my chassis."

"Really? I know something that can breath you quite quickly," a voice Ignite knew all-too-well assured the droid. Ignite gasped in horror and, to his shame, clung to HK-51 like the last lifeline he had. If the voice belonged to whom he suspected, the droid may very well be his only lifeline.

Threat: The Pipsqueak will cease hostilities against this unit at once, or face liquidation. I will use you as a battering ram for the next door should you refuse.

"Honestly, Apprentice," the voice of Darth Zash sighed in annoyance. "Why you keep this droid is beyond me."

"Zash?" Ignite croaked. "How?"

"Don't you remember?" Zash questioned from the body of Pipsy. "Your Dashade threw this creature between you and I during my ritual. Now I am trapped in her, sharing this body with such a lowly creature."

"But the Rakata artifact--" Ignite began.

"Delusion," Zash waved it off. "As if I could be contained."

Intrigued Reply: We have not tried the Imprisoned One, Master. Should we relocate your ship we could free the Pispqueak of the Old Hag Meatbag. Though this unit does not see the merits in such a decision.

Ignite shook his head in confusion, his vision slowly began to clear itself and he sighed in relief as the pain subsided as the antidote took hold. "We'll have to figure out this madness later." He assured the group. "Clearly my dreams were more reality than I thought."

"Quite," Zash-Pipsy nodded. "Now then, Apprentice, let us remove ourselves from this rather fascinating prison."

"I couldn't agree more," Lana said serenely, touching her com-link. "Koth, we have the asset. Are you ready?"

"Three minutes!"

Lana rolled her eyes. "We need to make our way to the landing platform."

"I suppose I will let the creature take over once more," Zash-Pipsy sighed, closing her yellow eyes. The Jawa shuddered briefly and suddenly exploded into motion.

"Boss!" Pipsy rushed forward and latched onto Ignite's leg, squeezing for all she was worth. "Pipsy so happy you alive! Pipsy be good! Very very good! Share body with mean lady! Keep mean droid company!"

Indignant Retort: You did no such thing, Pipsqueak! As if this unit needed your company! I am perfectly capable of entertaining myself!

"Pipsy get doors open, boss!" The Jawa assured. "Make sure boss goes to ship! Fly away! Very very good!"

HK-51 started forward, half dragging half-carrying Ignite along. Pipsy turned to go and paused, staring at HK for a moment.

"Droid still walk funny!"

HK stiffened. Rebuttal: I do not walk funny, Pipsqueak.

"Pipsy fix when back on ship! Make sure mean droid walk like pretty droid!"

Exasperation: It is a predatory gait!

Ignite chuckled, despite the pain he felt at the laughter exiting his body. "I've missed this," he admitted.

"The galaxy needs you now more than ever," Lana Beniko whispered. "Are you up to the challenge?"

Ignite shrugged, wincing as he did, "I suppose that depends," he replied.

"On what?"

"On how quickly we can find my Dashade."

"That is most certainly a story for another time," Lana blanched, knowing full well the horrors Khem Val had inflicted on the galaxy upon learning of his Master's supposed death.

Assurance: Not to worry, Master. We will find the Hulking Meatbag and liquidate many Meatbags.

"That we will, HK," Ignite nodded. "That we will."

Question: Master, may I liquidate the Pipsqueak now?

"No," Ignite stated flatly. "No liquidating Jawa's."

Weary Acquiescence: Yes, Master.

"I suppose you're quite a bit ahead of me on our game, eh, HK?" Ignite attempted to raise the droid's spirits.

HK's red photo-receptors gleamed with glee. Gloating: Why, yes, Master, I am! This unit has surpassed over 50,000 kills! 51,522 to be exact! You have a lot of liquidating to do to catch up!

"That's quite a number, HK," Ignite grinned. "But don't expect to keep the lead very long."

Assurance: I will do my best to keep you pleased, Master.

Ignite found himself relieved the droid could still be easily distracted; and even more relieved that his personality had not suffered in the slightest during his absence. Pipsy-Zash worried the Twi'lek, but the two seemed to have an almost symbiotic relationship which Ignite figured was the best he could hope for considering the situation. The door ahead popped open and Pipsy rounded the corner with an excited wave.

"Now the real challenge begins," Lana quietly informed the Twi'lek. "Can you stand, my Lord?"

Ignite pushed off HK, wobbled, and stood of his own volition. "Yes," he grunted.

Lana pushed something into his hand; it was cold and hard, but the Sith could never forget the feeling. He caressed his lightsaber briefly before igniting it, it's red-black blade humming. Lana nodded in approval. Pipsy clapped. HK stared ahead, his blaster in hand.

"Let's do this," Ignite smirked.

It's great to see you continue. Love the story, the humour and the twists are great. Loved seeing Pipsy-Zash lol. Not all the way through yet, got about 3/4's of the way through so far, but I just wanted you to know I look forward to seeing more of Pipsy, HK, Ignite and the gang.

I'm glad that you continue this story. I was chuckling all the time while reading it.

Just realized that forum posts are time-stamped... Hmm... So it's been 2 years since my last post. I'd edit the above post but I find that it illuminates my silliness

Continuing the story!

 

Ignite took a single step forward and an alarm began to blare; he paused and turned his head to the side in confusion. Lana jumped and frowned; HK remained unfazed.

"What in the Force happened?" Lana questioned.

Explanation: The Pipsqueak has failed in her directive to open the doors for the Master.

"But the door is open," Lana pointed. "No alarm went off."

"Pipsy fix!" The Jawa bolted.

Lana moved to stop the little creature but Ignite stopped her with an outstretched hand.

"My Lord?"

"Trust me," he inclined his head in Pipsy's direction. "That Jawa will have that alarm disabled faster than you can say stop."

There was a clang and the alarm grew in both volume and intensity.

Bemused Statement: Stop.

Ignite ground his teeth.

Suggestion: Master, may I punish the Pipsqueak for her failure? This unit would love to carry out your will through liquidation.

There was a rumble that nearly knocked Lana and Ignite from their feet. The containment cells shook and Ignite glanced around in confusion. Immediately after the rumbled ceased the alarm too stopped its incessant noise.

"Koth," Lana touched her comlink. "Was that you?"

"I'm a little busy!" Came a garbled reply. "We've been found out!"

Warning: Master, another Meatbag has entered the facility. Female. My scanners cannot read much more information.

Pipsy returned from wherever she'd ran off to. "Pipsy fix mean droid scanners when back on ship!"

Intriguing Admission: My circuits seem to be quivering, Master. I cannot say if it is due to anticipation or fear.

Ignite felt the world around him freeze for a second. "Fear?" He gawked at the droid.

Assurance: I believe it to be anticipation of the coming liquidation.

Lana's comlink blared, "We've got a big problem. BIG!"

"Yes?" Lana's calm façade wavered not a fraction.

"Vaylin is in the building."

"What's a Vaylin?" Ignite's lekku twitched.

"A very dangerous woman," Lana intoned, her expression shifting to worry. She started forward at a quickened pace. "Pipsy, make sure the path to the landing platform is clear."

Pipsy seemed to ignore Lana and turned to Ignite.

"Go ahead," he motioned.

"Pipsy fix!"

Observation: The Pipsqueak has learned her place. Master, the Lady Sith Meatbag's vitals have significantly spiked. This unit does not believe that is due to attraction to the Master. I will admit, begrudgingly, that I have been wrong before.

"What's a Vaylin?" Ignite repeated.

"Vaylin is the daughter of Emperor Valkorion," Lana informed coldly, put out by HK's observations. "She is incredibly strong in the Force. Stronger even than you, my Lord."

Mocking Retort: There are none stronger than the Master, Lady Sith Meatbag. Clearly your processors need to be updated.

"Oh?" Lana looked over her shoulder at the eight foot monstrosity that was HK. "How do you explain him being trapped in carbonite for the past five years?"

"Easy!" Ignite growled.

Threat: The Lady Sith Meatbag will not insult the Master or face liquidation.

Lana threw her hands up in frustration.

The three passed through several open doors, surprised to find little to no resistance. After their fourth hallway Ignite had to ask, "Where are the guards?"

"Your psychotic droid 'liquidated' all of them," Lana sniffed.

Correction: The Pipsqueak inadvertently liquidated one herself while trying to close a door. This unit was not pleased with the loss of a potential liquidation. Nevertheless I must admit the Pipsqueak's liquidation was impressive.

"The guard was split in half!" Lana replied in horror.

Regret: Yes, this unit wishes he could've had the pleasure of performing such a liquidation.

Ignite held back a laugh when he noticed Lana's eye twitch. He didn't remember HK provoking such a response from her in the past, but he was not going to complain at this current juncture. The Twi'lek noted the next door was rather large and, unfortunately, still closed. Pipsy was nowhere to be seen.

"Allow me," Lana stepped forward and attempted to pry open the door with the Force. It opened briefly and then slammed shut.

Statement: The door did not open.

"Clearly," Lana deadpanned.

The sound of metal being ripped from its hinges and hurled across the hallway echoed throughout the building; Vaylin was gaining.

"Together then," Lana nodded at Ignite.

Just as the two were about to call upon the Force the door shot open. A lightsaber pierced through the wall closest to Lana, causing her to leap back and ignite her own. A small hole was cut out and the smoking metal fell onto the grating, followed by a soot-covered Pipsy. Lana swallowed her initial surprise and deactivated her lightsaber.

"Boss!" Pipsy jumped up and down. "Pipsy fix! Door not open. Pipsy override control box in wall! Very dirty! Lots of dust!"

"Well done, Pipsy," Ignite pat the Jawa on the head and walked through the door. The four made for the nearest elevator; Pipsy jumped forward and pressed the up button.

HK leveled his blaster at the Jawa. Threat: The Pipsqueak will not press buttons without the Master's consent or face horrendous liquidation.

"Mean droid being mean to Pipsy!" Pipsy pointed at HK. "Pipsy not upgrade shields!"

Retort: This unit has waited five years for these fabled shield upgrades. Protestation: Master, clearly the Pipsqueak has been lying to this unit and the Master. She should be punished. Recommendation: I advise liquidation.

"It's okay, HK," Ignite chuckled, unable to help himself. The elevator dinged and the four stepped inside. Right before the doors closed Ignite noticed a silhouette at the far end of the hallway. Pipsy shuddered and her voice shifted to that of Zash.

"That was closer than I would have liked, Apprentice."

"Gonna have to get used to this one," Ignite admitted.

"It's not so bad," Pipsy-Zash replied. "Although I wouldn't mind if you would teach this creature on how to wield the Force."

"That's a brilliant idea," Ignite retorted sarcastically.

"Have no fear," Pipsy-Zash held out her hands. "Your over-protective droid has assured me of what will happen if I even speak the B word."

"B--?" Lana was cut off by HK.

Assurance: Betrayal, Master. This unit has assured the Old Hag Meatbag that her obedience to the Master will be absolute or, Meatbag Protection List be karked, I will shoot her out the nearest airlock after taking plentiful amounts of time liquidating her."

"Quite," Pipsy-Zash squeaked.

"Count on your psychotic droid to come up with a threat to squelch a Sith Lord," Lana sighed.

"Darth," Pipsy-Zash corrected.

"Oh please," Lana and Ignite said simultaneously.

"Flesh of my flesh!" The ghost of Kallig materialized before the Twi'lek.

"By the Force!" Ignite shouted, shooting a gout of lightning at the apparition. It passed through Kallig and into the door, causing it to glow orange and smoke.

Kallig shook his head in disappointment.

"I may have overreacted," Ignite admitted.

"As I was saying," Kallig continued. "You are in grave danger!"

"How are you even here?"

Statement: Master, this is the same Ghost Meatbag from before.

"Is that Lord Kallig?" Pipsy-Zash questioned incredulously.

"Not now!" Ignite silenced the two.

"How I am here is irrelevant," Kallig waved away the question, folding his arms. "The daughter of the Sith Emperor is closing on you. At your current strength you will be unable to face her."

"Great," Ignite sighed. "And no Dashade to save me from the next body-grab."

"You must--" Kallig began.

"Absorb more ghosts," Ignite finished.

"Indeed," Kallig was pleased. "Do not draw on the Emperor's power. Though he may reside in you I fear that your will is not strong enough to resist him overtaking you, should you allow him control."

"Say what now?"

He's referring to me. Valkorion's voice reverberated in Ignite's skull. Did you forget that I am sharing your vessel at the moment?

"Honestly?" Ignite stated aloud. "Yes, yes I forgot you were here."

"Do not converse with him, flesh of my flesh," Kallig warned. "He is far more powerful than you realize."

"But not as strong as this Vaylin?" Ignite asked.

"That is not for me to know," Kallig shrugged. "I have a name for you to investigate. A ghost of great power and knowledge, one who can supplement your own power a vast amount."

"And?"

"Rajivari," Kallig said softly, beginning to fade. "Good luck flesh of my flesh. I shall be watching."

"Rajivari?" Lana repeated in confusion.

Pipsy-Zash began to laugh maniacally; causing all to turn to her and wait. It took several seconds for her to splutter out a complete sentence. "Rajivari is on Tython."

Ignite blinked.

"We have gone there before," Lana said.

There was a whirring sound that grew quite notable in the elevator. Six eyes turned to HK who was staring straight ahead as if processing something.

"HK? Ignite poked his droid.

Statement: This unit regrets he is still unable to laugh, Master. Gleeful Continuation: The Jedi home world would be the greatest gift you could give this unit, Master. To liquidate the strongest Jedi on their own planet is precisely what I was programmed by the Maker to do. Hopeful Request: Can we please go, Master?

"Shouldn't be too much of a problem," Lana shrugged at Ignite.

"Yes, when the Revanites worked in tandem to leave both Tython and Korriban defenseless. How do you propose to land there now? Despite the Eternal Empire rampaging across the known galaxy, both Tython and Korriban remain bastions of the Jedi and Sith respectively. No Sith will be able to set foot upon that planet," Pipsy-Zash reminded them.

The whirring noise died down. If HK could have glared, the droid would have in that moment. Threat: The Old Hag Meatbag will cease hostilities against this unit at once. Namely the killing of all the gleeful abandon I was processing.

"Noted," Pipsy-Zash muttered.

The elevator dinged once more and the super-heated door attempted to open. Ignite sent a Force wave into it, blasting it from its hinges. Lana looked at the currently empty landing platform and practically snarled into her comlink, "Where are you?!"

"Busy! You're going to have to book it to the adjacent landing pad!"

"You know, I think I have a solution to this Vaylin issue that doesn't involve a suicide run to Tython," Ignite grinned, knowing full well he wasn't going to deny HK the pleasure of visiting Tython.

"Pray, do tell," Lana grabbed her lightsaber, preparing to ignite it at any sign of enemies.

"I'll just woo Vaylin," Ignite shrugged. "I mean she is a she, yeah?"

Not happening! Valkorion roared.

Protestation: But Master!

"Hey!" Ignite bonked his head a few times. "My house, my rules!"

Sulking: You may as well liquidate me if you choose to deny this opportunity, Master.

"I can't liquidate you, HK," Ignite replied. "You don't slosh. And don't worry; we're going to Tython."

Statement: Thank you Master.

Please tell me you were joking about my daughter...

Ignite laughed.

Declaration: This unit is extremely pleased he does not slosh, Master.

"I'm aware, HK."

Great chapter, really enjoyed the exchanges between the characters. I think if HK ever go this way and liquidated Pipsy, he wouldn't know what to do with himself lol. He'd miss him I think. Also enjoyed Valk's reaction to Ignite's ideas about wooing Vaylin (eww lol).