In which a line from a stupid song is used...

“We just met, and, this is crazy, but I’m going to betray you to Darth Baras,” Quinn said airily.

“Whyyyy?” Athra asked with an arched brow.

“Because cookies. Specifically lady fingers. They go well with a nice Darjeeling.”

“That’s the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“Doubtful, my lord. Besides, this is a dream.”

“How can you tell?”

“For one, I am in a Republic Dancer’s outfit that is clearly made for a woman,” he huffed.

“Lookin’ good by the way,” she said lightly.

“Quite. Secondly, I don’t believe I’m quite this… endowed, my lord.”

“God, you’re pretentious even in my dreams,” she sighed. “And you are that endowed.”

“Lucky you then.”

“Lucky me indeed. Speaking of, I’m going to wake up now.”

“Please do, I’m feeling a bit of a draft,” he said stiffly.

Athra slowly woke herself up and cuddled into Quinn’s side. He didn’t react with anything, but a light snore.

“Hey, wanna have a go?” she whispered into his ear.

Immediately his eyes popped open and he was over her.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” she giggled.

“Quite,” he said groggily.

In which no teeth are involved...

“Watch the teeth, my lord,” Quinn hissed softly.

“Stop bossing me around,” Athra muttered unhappily.

Vette and Jaesa pressed their ears to the door of Athra and Quinn’s quarters.

“The teeth! The teeth!”

“Stop yelling!”

“Then watch the teeth. This is delicate work.”

Vette and Jaesa giggled quietly.

“I’d much rather you let me handle this myself, my lord,” Quinn pouted.

Vette slapped her leg in silent laughter. Jaesa quietly giggled behind her hands.

“What are you two doing?” Pierce asked from behind them.

The guilty parties jumped and shrieked. Pierce laughed at them.

“They’re just painting minis in there,” he chuckled.

“How do you know?” Vette asked crossly.

Pierce smirked and held out his personal holocomm. Quinn's stiff image immediately popped up.

“Mission complete,” he said dutifully.

“Thank you, Lieutenant,” Quinn said happily.

“Traitor!” Vette hissed.

In which insinuations are made...

“I’ve figured out why you keep Captain Pouty pants around after his whole ‘grr, argh, I betray you’ thing,” Vette announced one morning over breakfast.

“His penchant for dramatic entrances?” Athra smiled.

“Well, if that’s what you wanna call it…” Vette muttered.

“I have the feeling that this conversation is slightly perverted,” Jaesa said softly.

“Jedi gets a square!” Vette piped happily.

Notes:

In which Quinn gets slapped…

“Sweet Emperor, that’s a heavy hand,” Quinn whined, as he walked toward the galley holding his cheek.

“Did someone finally hit him?” Vette asked gleefully.

“Wasn’t me, I just got back from a mission,” Pierce said with a huff. “Got that metal, by the way. Only had to crack a few skulls.”

“Thank you, Pierce,” Athra said happily.

“It wasn’t me. Captain Quinn has installed fourteen restraining bolts in me,” Twovee muttered unhappily.

Pierce, Vette and Athra turned to the Captain in question.

“Standard maintenance I assure you,” he said stiffly.

“Riiiight,” they said in unison.

“Standard my lower rear access panel,” Twovee said angrily.

“It was Jaesa,” Quinn said morosely. “I think she knocked one of my molars loose.”

The aforementioned Jaesa shuffled into the galley area wearing a fluffy pink robe and bunny slippers. Vette, Pierce, and Athra openly gaped at her state of dress.

“I’m PMSing okay!?” she asked angrily.

“Okay!” the rest of the group agreed.

In which Quinn is ridden like a pony...

“I wish you wouldn’t do this, my lord,” Quinn muttered unhappily.

“But it’s sooo fuuuun!” Athra squealed.

“I am not a Thranta,” he pouted.

“Who cares, it’s couple racing!”

“We’re not a couple!” Jaesa and Pierce yelled in unison.

“You’re about to be a couple of losers!” Athra whooped excitedly, pumping her fist into the air.

“Please don’t move like that, I’m liable to drop you and the last time I did you kicked me in the knee and had to carry me over the finish line,” Quinn pouted.

“Stop pouting and get ready! Twovee, begin the countdown!”

“A task just for me? Oh, thank you master!” Twovee piped happily.

“Get ready to suck dust, Quinn,” Pierce muttered.

“I’m sorry, I failed to hear you over how amazingly spry I am,” Quinn said antagonistically.

“On your marks,” Twovee said.

Quinn and Pierce tightened their hold on the women hanging on to their backs.

“Get set!”

Pierce leaned forward.

“Go!”

Pierce bolted down the hallway with Jaesa giggling excitedly on his back. Quinn stayed rooted to the spot.

“Why aren’t you moving?” Athra asked impatiently.

“Wait for it,” he replied.

So she waited. As Pierce was on his way back toward them, he suddenly veered into the crew bunk area. Jaesa squealed.

“Predictable,” Quinn said as he marched forward. Athra giggled and wrapped her arms gently around his neck.

“That’s what I love about you, Malavai,” she said softly.

“I love that about me, too,” he teased.

She giggled and playfully slapped his chest. He rewarded her with a short chuckle. When they crossed the finish line, Athra jumped from his back and turned to face him.

“That was fun,” she smiled.

“It was enjoyable,” he agreed quietly.

“So… what do you love about me?” she asked innocently.

“You,” he said softly. “I love you.”

She smiled shyly at his honest face.

“You’re a bit of a sap under all those bristly layers, aren’t you?”

“I don’t know what you mean, my lord,” he said innocently. She laughed.

In which Quinn refuses to be knighted...

“My lord, I must formally request that you rescind my punishment and assign a more appropriate – and Military approved – punishment in its stead,” Quinn stiffly requested one morning.

“Nope,” Athra said happily as she browsed the holonet for funny SithTube videos.

“You didn’t even consider it, my lord,” he pouted.

“Don’t pout so hard, blue eyes. You’ll get wrinkles. Then I’d dump you for a younger, stiffer Imperial officer.”

“Please don’t joke like that, my lord,” he huffed.

“Who’s joking?”

“You wound me, my lord,” he said in monotone, clutching his hand over his heart dramatically.

She folded her lips into her mouth to keep from laughing. “You keep that up and you’ll lose your street cred as Captain Fussybottom,” she chuckled.

“I prefer Captain Stuffypants,” he said seriously. She fell onto the floor laughing. He smirked and took over the holonet controls.

“Heeey!” she whined from the floor.

“The Holonet is serious business, my lord,” he said solemnly. “I must protect you at all costs.”

“Are you my Holonet white knight?” she giggled.

“No, because you’re already involved with me and it doesn’t take much to get into your armor.”

“Hey!” she shouted, slapping his knee in reproach.

“I didn’t hear denial, my lord,” he said lightly.

“Shut up and move over!” She pushed her way back on to the controls and steered them back to SithTube. The corners of his mouth ticked upwards.

Notes:

I love the violent streak 2V has developed!

Twovee is such a suck-up to his master in-game, it only seems appropriate, lol.

In which Quinn watches TV...

“What are you watching?” Athra asked Quinn one evening as she entered the holoroom.

“Sith Idol,” he responded stiffly from the couch.

“Is that the one with the torture contests?”

“No, that’s So You Think You’re a Sith. This one has singing. Some of it is hilariously horrible.”

“That you know the difference between the two shows is telling.”

“Telling of what, my lord?” he asked with an arched brow. She smiled as she took seat next to him.

“Nothing. Pass the popcorn, this is hilarious.”

“I hope you’re referring to the show,” he sniffed.

“I’m not, but continue,” she giggled.

He huffed a bit before passing the popcorn.

In which the ship is boarded...

“My lord, there are Space Fleas all over the ship,” Quinn reported one morning.

“Is that what those jumping things are?” Athra asked.

“Yes.”

“I tried Force choking them, but I couldn’t find their little necks.”

“I don’t think they have necks, my lord.”

“Huh,” she said thoughtfully. “Broonmark! You’re getting a Flea dip and a thorough brushing!” she yelled through the ship.

“Nooooooooooooooo!!” Broonmark screamed from the cargo bay.

“Aw, his first intelligible word,” Athra cooed.

“I believe that was a voice modulator, my lord,” Quinn said in monotone.

“You ruin all fun things.”

“Impossible,” he scoffed.

“Totally possible.”

“You should probably catch Broonmark, my lord.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“You’d be chasing a giant furry murder machine through a tiny ship,” he stated.

“That does sound like fun!” she said excitedly.

“I’ll be in our quarters,” he said stiffly.

“Ruiner!” she yelled at his retreating form.

Notes:

Nonsense? Nonsense!

“Quinn, can you just…” Athra said as she tried to pin something onto Quinn.

“No,” Quinn said as he dodged her efforts.

“Sit still!”

“No.”

“I promise this won’t hurt.”

“You said that last time,” he grunted as he batted her hands away.

“It hurt because you fought me like you’re doing now!”

“I will not allow you to subject me to such torture!”

“Then you put it on yourself!”

“I am not wearing a flea collar!”

“Too bad!”

I did have to press the button. That snippet was hilarious!

Thank you kindly.

In which Quinn learns never to eat the last one...

Quinn sat quietly at the galley table finishing the last bite of an ice cream sandwich. Athra walked in battle weary and hungry when she spotted the wrapper.

“Was that the last one?” Athra asked testily.

“I’ve had my name on it for weeks,” Quinn said quietly.

“Was that the last one?” she asked forcefully.

“It was mine…”

“Was that. The last. One?”

“Yes,” he replied meekly.

“I’m using one of my slaps!”

“Oh, Emperor!” Quinn exclaimed as he scrambled from his chair.

In which Malavai's name origins are revealed...

“What kind of name is ‘Malavai’ anyway?” Athra asked one evening as she and Quinn prepared for bed.

“A perfectly fine name and in no way associated with anything other than me,” he sputtered.

“I’ve heard it’s a certain frozen treat,” she teased in sing-song.

“I have no idea what that means,” he said stiffly, climbing under the covers and turning his back to her.

“It’s chocolately, a bit nutty, and has bits of caramel.”

“I am none of those things,” he pouted.

“Mmm, but you are delicious.”

“You’re just buttering me up.”

“Yep!” she said happily.

“I question my sanity sometimes.”

“I question it at all times.”

He huffed morosely as her side of the bed dipped under her weight. She snuggled up to his back and wrapped an arm around his waist.

“I could go for a Malavai Swirl,” she whispered to his back.

“Anything to get you to never call me that again,” he pouted.

So freaking hilarious. Ans for some reasons, I unsheathed my lightsaber on that Female Sith warrior.

Don't stab her, she's only joking!

Heeheee. I'm glad you're enjoying these. They're fun to write when I'm feeling a bit silly.

In which Quinn is bribed...

“I love you, Quinn,” Athra announced one morning over breakfast.

Quinn sighed and put down his datapad. “What do you want now, my lord?”

“Nothing,” she said innocently.

“The last time you said that out of the blue you wanted something,” he frowned. “What is it?”

“I want you to special order something for me.”

“No.”

“You don’t even know what it is yet!” she protested.

“I know exactly what it is.”

“Pleeeeeeeease?” she begged, batting her lashes prettily.

He said nothing as he returned to reading his datapad.

“I’ll forfeit the rest of my slaps,” she bargained.

“No,” he said firmly, still skimming reports.

“The ones on reserve, too.”

“No.”

“All the slaps?”

He considered it for a moment. It still was a rather large price to pay. She smirked. One more push and she’d get what she wanted. She quickly stood and walked to where he was seated. He ignored her and continued reading. She leaned down to him and whispered into his ear.

“Really?” he asked skeptically. She nodded emphatically. “Very well. I will order it.”

“I want a year’s supply, too.”

“We can’t possibly store that much onboard.”

“Unlimited engine modifications,” she said lowly.

He swallowed. “I’ll find a way.”

“Thought so.”

In which Twovee exacts his revenge...

Quinn finally removed the extra restraining bolts from Twovee only to be slapped as hard as the droid could possibly manage.

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I let Twovee keep one of his slaps,” Athra said happily as she stood over Quinn’s prone form.

“You’re evil,” he pouted from the floor.

She grinned prettily then stepped over him.

In which Quinn is ridden like a pony...

 

“We’re not a couple!” Jaesa and Pierce yelled in unison.

 

 

Pierce bolted down the hallway with Jaesa giggling excitedly on his back. Quinn stayed rooted to the spot.

 

“Why aren’t you moving?” Athra asked impatiently.

 

“Wait for it,” he replied.

 

So she waited. As Pierce was on his way back toward them, he suddenly veered into the crew bunk area. Jaesa squealed.

 

“Predictable,” Quinn said as he marched forward. Athra giggled and wrapped her arms gently around his neck.

 

This. I couldn't breathe for a full 5 minutes.

Don't stab her, she's only joking!

 

Heeheee. I'm glad you're enjoying these. They're fun to write when I'm feeling a bit silly.

ermmm... not the "I wanna kill you" type of lightsaber unsheathing, and it's not the "weapon" lightsaber that I unsheathed. If you know what I mean. LoL

This. I couldn't breathe for a full 5 minutes.

Pierce/Jaesa is another NPC relationship that seems like it would sort of work, if only because it would be freakin' hilarious.

ermmm... not the "I wanna kill you" type of lightsaber unsheathing, and it's not the "weapon" lightsaber that I unsheathed. If you know what I mean. LoL

Quinn's readying his blaster and his carbonizing stream... You should probably run, dude.

In which... Space Ants? Really...?

“My lord, it has come to my attention that there are Space Ants on board,” Quinn said stiffly one afternoon.

“Space… Ants?” Athra asked slowly.

“Yes, Space Ants. They’ve already carried off Twovee and tried to steal my datapad while I was eating breakfast.”

“You don’t eat.”

“Just because you haven’t seen it, doesn’t mean I don’t do it.” Athra opened her mouth. “Don’t start.” She snapped her mouth shut. “As I was saying, they’ve started carrying off crew, so I recommend we stop at the nearest spaceport for inspection and fumigation. I already received clearance from…” He sighed. “Nar Shaddaa.”

She perked up at that. “Then what are we waiting for!?”

“Your signature,” he said, producing a datapad from nowhere.

“Where do you keep that thing anyway?”

“Where do you think?” She opened her mouth to respond. “Don’t start.”

She crossed her arms and huffed. “You’re no fun.”

“I never said I was.”

“Technically true.”

“Regardless, we’ll have to toss the rest of the ice cream.”

“You bastard! This was your plan all along!”

“Whatever do you mean, my lord?” he asked with feigned ignorance.

“That Space Ant Farm you ordered last week and now we suddenly have Space Ants everywhere? You conniving bastard!”

“I’m glad you approve,” he said happily.

Athra made a frustrated noise and stomped her foot. “I’ll get you, Malavai Quinn! And your magically appearing datapad, too!”

He chuckled and left her to her scheming.

She crossed her arms and huffed. “You’re no fun.”

 

“I never said I was.”

Ladies and gentlemen, Malavai Quinn in a nutshell.

Ladies and gentlemen, Malavai Quinn in a nutshell.

Well, it's true... lol