UTlNNl Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 (edited) What's inside the FIRST GRAND COEFFICIENT-CHANGER PACKS, Devs? In every coefficient changer pack, you get two consumable coefficient-changers. GREAT! What do they do? Apply them to your character, and for the next month a random coefficient in the game will be changed for you- ranging from a decrease between .25x to .5x and an increase between 1.5x to 2x. That's right- THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND!™ That's right! Now you can experience what it's like to be a Bioware coder first-hand! Give one of these babies a click and you've instantly done some professional tweaking of the game itself. No need to test on the PTS, because your values will simply take effect no matter what anyone says either way! WOW! What could be affected? This could be applied to anything ranging from EnduranceMasteryYour Companion's DefenseSpawn-timers on open-world Heroic mobsDev Response Times on Game-Breaking IssuesFrame Rate in WarzonesPatch Download SpeedsCritical RatingAnd Even Loot Table Probabilities! The possibilities are endless. Unsatisfied with the strength of your companions? One motion of the hand could have your companion making the GSI bots look like scrap metal! Need a challenge? One adroit manipulation of your index finger and now you have an absolutely worthless companion with which you can do only the things you could have done exclusively without having your companion summoned at all. Think it's outrageous to have to do twenty Warzones to get Major Pierce? Now you could be subjected to sitting in a corner, condemning your team to lose for FORTY WARZONES for your PvE companion. Remember, you have no choice but to do it, and there's no way around it! Forty character slots per server still not enough? Risk getting double the slots for having 3/4 of your characters being permanently deleted forever*! This sounds too good to be true. How much does a pack cost? Well I'm glad you asked. Each pack costs 2000CC (which is actually 40% off of the full price which we arbitrarily generated with one of these very consumables). BUT WAIT. Every unlock has a small chance of changing the price of the packs themselves! What cost 2000CC before could now cost you 4000CC, with absolutely no warning WHATSOEVER! Can these be used to change my appearance? WELL I'M SO GLAD YOU ASKED With the purchase of a GOLD COEFFICIENT-CHANGER PACK (3000CC) you also receive an RGB-hex changer ON TOP OF THE TWO CONSUMABLE COEFFICIENT-CHANGERS. RGB-hex changers will randomly select one armor piece (or if you're lucky- a MOUNT), randomly select two RGB values, and apply those values to the primary and secondary color slots of that item. Then, that newly recolored item will be placed in the Cartel Market for you to purchase for 1440CC. You can even unlock this COMPLETELY NEW MOUNT/PIECE OF ARMOR for your account for an additional 600CC**. --- *But we will probably restore your characters if you just ask nicely. But if you try to do it more than once we will definitely catch you and we will not be happy little campers. **Price subject to random change independent of player-used coefficient-changers. --- Bioware is not responsible for the misuse of coefficient-changers for the purposes of, but not limited to: having fun. Any parties found guilty of such misuse will be subject to suspension or account-termination. Bioware always knows what players find fun in video games and any opposition to this fact can simply be proven false with the mere mention of "quantitative data" or "metrics." Although players may experience the feeling of arbitrarily manifested authority over the content of the game, any and all changes have been thoroughly considered by Bioware and are not subject to further change or revocation.* *Except by Bioware should they deem fit at any point for any reason.** **Ever. :sy_auction:The First Grand Coefficient-Changer Pack:sy_auction: THERE IS NO MIDDLE GROUND!™ Edited June 18, 2016 by UTlNNl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RWScissors Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 That's hilarious ... but this can't end well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AdrianDmitruk Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 This is pure credits. I'll take ten hypercrates of these packs! Take mah moniez! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
heythereqt Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 11/10 Bioware is not responsible for the misuse of coefficient-changers for the purposes of, but not limited to: having fun. Any parties found guilty of such misuse will be subject to suspension or account-termination. Bioware always knows what players find fun in video games and any opposition to this fact can simply be proven false with the mere mention of "quantitative data" or "metrics." This part was gold. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PlacidDragon Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 hehe, that was awesome to read Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlienEyeTX Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Thank you. Great entertainment there. That was just for fun, right? Right? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bachannal Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Cheers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trythios Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Hah, awesome read Now.. if only I wasn't scared to death that it could eventually become reality.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ferretfur Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Very funny satire. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlrikFassbauer Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Excellent. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jankiel Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Haha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FenyxSprig Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 The first thing to make me smile over the game today. Thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maidelken Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Very funny satire. Is it satire if it might actually happen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tachenko_Yuri Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Well I'm glad you asked. Each pack costs 2000CC (which is actually 40% off of the full price which we arbitrarily generated with one of these very consumables). https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEQgessk_Us&feature=youtu.be&t=19 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UTlNNl Posted November 18, 2015 Author Share Posted November 18, 2015 (edited) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MEQgessk_Us&feature=youtu.be&t=19 http://i.imgur.com/rZUmkhd.png Edited November 19, 2015 by UTlNNl Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gallandaeus Posted November 18, 2015 Share Posted November 18, 2015 Sounds good. Makes more sense than most of BioWare's balance decisions in the past. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SettGirkkurn Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Up you go... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KyaniteD Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Humor ist, wenn man trotzdem lacht. Kudos for channeling the frustration in a creative, humorous way & thanks for the laugh (even if it was accompanied by tears of sadness due to cruel reality). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Roalmo Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Sir, You won da interwebs today! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MrDeda Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I just bought CC to get my very own Grand Coefficient Changer Pack! Very good thread Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eilu Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 The first thing to make me smile over the game today. Thanks! Same. Morbid humor saves the day! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhazesx Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) Your post is fun and I loved it. Now its only a matter of time before Bioware nerfs it. Edited November 19, 2015 by Rhazesx Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dbears Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 So hilariously true it hurts. Also made me actually laugh out loud. Thank you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shfinky Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Completely and utterly EPIC. You just given me the biggest lols of the year. Hey Bioware? You've just been ripped a brand new one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crazygenes Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Hilarious! I loved it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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