Mo.ar. Mo.ar. Mo.ar.

 

Please?

Happy Life Day? More like...well, more daycare day, I guess.

 

Today's post contains implicit spoilers for T7-01 and explicit spoilers for the False Emperor flashpoint.

 

On WEDNESDAY, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.

 

 

 

Edited December 19, 2012 by bright_ephemera

Furthermore, have a short. That may or may not be set on a Thursday? No staff involved.

 

BABY DOC finds BABY ZENITH perched on the kitchen counter. BABY ZENITH is slouched over his big toy sniper rifle, looking morose.

BABY DOC: Uh, hi, scary man.

BABY ZENITH: Hi.

BABY DOC: I heard you were big on shooting Imps, huh?

BABY ZENITH: Yeah.

BABY DOC: But you're…not shooting them.

BABY ZENITH: I'm nursing my hatred. You have to pace yourself with this stuff.

BABY DOC: Hatred, huh?

BABY DOC, worried, goes up on tiptoe to examine BABY ZENITH'S temples and any other place Sith corruption might show up.

BABY DOC: You're not, uh, Sithy, are you?

BABY ZENITH: Sith are amateurs.

BABY DOC: Oh. Uh. See, I had this idea, where we run around liberating Forced Companions together, right? And then I go make sure the ladies are okay, and you, you know, whatever. Sound fair?

BABY ZENITH: Was there some part of that where you're contributing? Because if there is, I didn't hear it.

BABY DOC: Making sure the ladies are okay. This is important.

BABY ZENITH: Doc, half the so-called ladies of this daycare center are Imps. That seem right to you?

BABY DOC: I have no problems with that.

BABY ZENITH: You wouldn't.

BABY DOC: So is that a yes? To the liberating?

BABY ZENITH: Maybe later. You try hugging the Imp 'ladies,' I shoot darts at all the Imp guys, we'll have this place completely cleared of their kind by snack time.

Edited December 20, 2012 by bright_ephemera

BABY XALEK: YOU'VE GOT THE THING.

Hahahahhaha!!!

BABY ZENITH: Was there some part of that where you're contributing? Because if there is, I didn't hear it.

Know what's awesome? This is such a Zenith line that it came through my mental ears in Troy Baker's voice Hehehe, Doc smoochies will clear the room in no time.

Another short!

 

On THURSDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and LORD SCOURGE.

 

BABY PIERCE and BABY TALOS show up late. BABY PIERCE carries a huge bag that clanks when he walks.

BABY TALOS: Hi, everyone!

BABY PIERCE: Shh!

BABY JORGAN: Hi, guys. Where've you been?

BABY TALOS: I've been having all kinds of adventures helping Pierce to recover the -

BABY PIERCE: Sshhh, you'll ruin it!

BABY PIERCE makes a break for the closet.

BABY PIERCE, shutting the door after himself: Nobody look!

Several other children exchange looks. Then they follow BABY PIERCE to the closet. BABY PIERCE is inside, busily assembling a box about the size of his own head. It has a keyboard console on one side.

BABY PIERCE, fitting a last part into place: Hahahaha! It's mine!

BABY JORGAN: …What is?

BABY PIERCE holds up the box.

BOX: Greetings, master! Are you prepared to educate organics?

BABY PIERCE: You mean assassinate?

BOX: Assertion: Definitely educate. Can you spell out CAT using the keyboard?

BABY PIERCE: But you're HK-51. HK. Hunter-killer unit.

HK-51: Explanation: HK is for Speak and Spell.

BABY PIERCE: …

HK-51: Matter-of-fact statement: It's Huttese.

BABY PIERCE: Talos, I am never coming to you for translations again.

HK-51: Observation: You haven't spelled CAT yet, master. You can do it! Just use the keyboard to –

BABY PIERCE: Oh, stow it.

BABY PIERCE dropkicks HK-51. HK-51 goes flying across the room.

HK-51: Observation: That was a 'J' you kicked, master. That is not how CAT starts at all!

HK-51 clangs into the wall and thunks to the ground.

HK-51, in a suddenly much colder voice: Secondary protocols activated. Initiating deletion sequence: J.

BABY TALOS: Oh! Is that what clears the incorrect letter?

HK-51 lights up and shoots a high-powered plasma bolt at BABY JORGAN.

BABY JORGAN, getting singed as he dives out of the way: Ow ow what the hell is that!?

BABY PIERCE: I do not know. But I'm keeping it.

BABY PIERCE sprints to grab HK-51 before anybody else can get there.

T7-01 rolls in from around the corner.

T7-01: Jorgan = no swearing // Something = wrong?

BABY JORGAN: Pierce is trying to kill us all, sir. Again.

BABY PIERCE: I was just playing with this educational toy, right here. It deletes things.

T7-01: Educational = good // Pierce = play nice

HK-51: Obvious foreshadowing: Heh, heh.

BABY PIERCE beams.

Edited December 20, 2012 by bright_ephemera

eeeeee HK! <3 <3

Yayayay!!!!

HK-51: Obvious foreshadowing: Heh, heh.

Lol, oh this should be good.

BABY QUINN: If Darth Malgus killed his girlfriend, she probably had it coming.

Hahahahahahahahaha! You'd know all about that, wouldn't you, Quinn?

These shorter ones are easier for me to write. Have a snippet!

 

 

On TUESDAY, FCD is staffed by LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL.

 

BABY QYZEN FESS sprints up FCD's driveway bright and early.

BABY QYZEN FESS: Points day!

BABY QYZEN FESS runs facefirst into the locked door.

KHEM VAL, standing to one side: Maintenance isn't finished yet, little lizard.

LORD SCOURGE: If you had read the sign inside, you would know when to expect daycare opening this morning.

BABY QYZEN FESS: So when does maintenance end?

KHEM VAL: That's on the sign.

BABY QYZEN FESS: But the sign is inside the locked building.

LORD SCOURGE: I do not see what you expect us to do about it.

BABY QYZEN FESS: You could tell me when maintenance is scheduled to end?

KHEM VAL: Tulak Hord always kept his plans a secret. I'm just following his lead.

BABY QYZEN FESS: I bet Tulak Hord didn't have scheduled maintenance.

KHEM VAL: Foolish little lizard. It was Tulak Hord who brought terror and death to the patch days of Yn and Chabosh.

BABY QYZEN FESS: Yeah, well, Tulak Hord's maintenance still would've been OVER BY NOW.

BABY QYZEN FESS scowls, as well as a Trandoshan can scowl, and suddenly makes a sprint for KHEM VAL's tummy. KHEM VAL intercepts him mid-dash and holds him up by the scruff of the neck.

KHEM VAL: No points until maintenance is done.

BABY QYZEN FESS: Fair target.

KHEM VAL: No fun until maintenance is done.

KHEM VAL drops BABY QYZEN FESS. BABY QYZEN FESS shuffles sullenly back to FCD's doorstep and starts banging his head against the door.

LORD SCOURGE: That is...certainly one way to determine when the doors open.

BABY QYZEN FESS just keeps on knocking.

 

---

 

(P.S. Thing I learned after months of playing: SWTOR's Twitter account gives updates during scheduled maintenance so you're not completely in the dark!

)

...I see what you did there.

Hehehe, sorry little lizard, no points for you!

Awesome reference!

 

Love Qyzen smashing his head repeatedly into the door! Heehee!

On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

 

 

KHEM VAL: Children, today we are going to play a game. Here is a table full of stick-on customizations for your face. You may play around to determine what you would like to look like. Or just what frightens the child next to you.

BABY ANDRONIKOS makes a beeline for the tattoos.

BABY RISHA: EYESHADOW.

BABY RISHA seizes the ample supply of eyeshadow for herself.

BABY KIRA eyes the assortment thoughtfully.

BABY KIRA: I'm thinking disfiguring scars.

BABY CORSO: No way! Me too!

BABY KIRA: Maybe not disfiguring. Tasteful little ones, just enough to suggest a difficult childhood.

BABY CORSO: Way ahead of you – Aw, gee, no, scars look sad on you, pretty lady. You shouldn't have to –

BABY KIRA: Put stickers on my face as part of a class exercise?

BABY CORSO: Still distressing.

BABY KIRA rolls her eyes and toddles off.

KHEM VAL looms over BABY DOC, who is busily scribbling on his own face.

KHEM VAL: Doc. I see you are abusing the blue marker again.

BABY DOC: It's the most stylish color available. My beard and moustache have to look good.

KHEM VAL: I prefer red.

BABY DOC: I think the "bright red smeared all around the mouth" look works better for you than for me.

BABY RISHA, having finished a generous application of makeup, looks around to find BABY QUINN bent over his datapad.

BABY RISHA: You should join us, Quinn. It'll give you something to do that isn't making bad Imperial battle plans.

BABY QUINN: I see no reason to participate in this bizarre and pointless ritual.

BABY RISHA: You have to do what I say. I'll give you eleventy billion credi –

BABY QUINN: No, you won't. You never do. You have never once given anybody eleventy billion credits as recompense for anything they've done for you.

BABY RISHA: It could happen this time.

SCORPIO: Even without the reward, you have to do what Risha says.

BABY QUINN: Fine.

BABY QUINN takes a handful of fingerpaint and smears it across his jaw and chin.

BABY QUINN: Appearance altered. I'll return to my duties.

BABY RISHA: Huh. No complaints here.

BABY QUINN looks stoic as he goes back to his datapad.

BABY DOC approaches a group of children.

BABY DOC: So, how's the facial hair look? Huh?

BABY JORGAN: I've already got mine.

BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.

YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE. With ample facial hair.

BABY DOC: Yeah, but mine's stylish.

BABY KIRA looks over and notices BABY QUINN's new look. She exchanges glances with BABY RISHA. When they join in staring with BABY TEMPLE some kind of critical mass is reached and they run over to swarm him and his fingerpaint five o'clock shadow. Smooches are attempted. Desperate flailing is heard from within the circle.

BABY DOC, glaring: Oh that is not fair.

BABY QUINN, his cowlick barely showing above the swarm of enthusiastic girls: If you want the attention please take it. This is making me really uncomfortable.

KHEM VAL: By choosing the least grotesque modification possible, you brought this on yourself.

BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned this better.

SCORPIO: Please, children, continue to demonstrate all variants your future appearance may take. I am building a database for…future applications.

BABY KIRA: …I don't want to play this game anymore.

BABY QUINN, still flailing: When you compile this database please note that I am never doing this again.

BABY DOC: You say that now.

BABY DOC gets a little lightbulb over his head. A visible little lightbulb. He makes a note of BABY QUINN's fingerpaint color and runs over to get his own.

BABY DOC: Black…well, it's no blue, but I guess even lil' Doc has to make style compromises sometimes.

KHEM VAL: Red was good enough for Tulak Hord.

BABY DOC: Do you see Tulak Hord in the middle of a hug circle right now? Because I don't.

BABY DOC shoots a dirty look in BABY QUINN's direction.

BABY DOC: Mine's gonna be way better.

Edited January 14, 2013 by bright_ephemera

I have only one thing to say about this and that is ROFL!

That

is

FANTASTIC

Hilarious and...

You have never once given anybody eleventy billion credits as recompense for anything they've done for you.

eleventy billion and recompense in the same sentence. *filled with joy*

so. FUNNY!!!!!

 

"Billorp". Gotta love Broonmark

KHEM VAL: By choosing the least grotesque modification possible, you brought this on yourself.

 

:)

Love the maintenance update reference!!

 

BABY QUINN takes a handful of fingerpaint and smears it across his jaw and chin.

BABY QUINN: Appearance altered. I'll return to my duties.

BABY RISHA: Huh. No complaints here.

BABY QUINN looks stoic as he goes back to his datapad.

...

BABY KIRA looks over and notices BABY QUINN's new look. She exchanges glances with BABY RISHA. When they join in staring with BABY TEMPLE some kind of critical mass is reached and they run over to swarm him and his fingerpaint five o'clock shadow. Smooches are attempted. Desperate flailing is heard from within the circle.

BABY DOC, glaring: Oh that is not fair.

BABY QUINN, his cowlick barely showing above the swarm of enthusiastic girls: If you want the attention please take it. This is making me really uncomfortable.

KHEM VAL: By choosing the least grotesque modification possible, you brought this on yourself.

BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned this better.

 

Quinn fangirls. Lol! True to form for Bright_Ephemera, ya think? And many others.

(I just got to meet him with my SW - Lawrichai's drawing is MUCH better than the original. That giant mole is kinda disgusting.)

Corso is so cute, getting upset about the idea of Kira having scars.

Edited January 14, 2013 by LanaSangien

It's good to be back!

 

Somehow, in every fic scene I write where Doc and Quinn appear in the same room, they hate each other. (Shameless No Death, Only Wrath plug there.) I didn't plan this, it just happened that way.

 

Quinn fangirls. Lol! True to form for Bright_Ephemera, ya think?

 

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking abo...okay that sentence is so false I can't even finish it.

 

Now, I would say I hate to pick on Quinn and Bowdaar two installments in a row, but who are we kidding I never get bored of that...

On MONDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and KHEM VAL.

 

 

T7-01: Children = go outside // playtime = ice skating

KHEM VAL: Our slaves have crafted an ice rink like those of the winter festivals of Yn.

BABY VETTE: What about Chabosh?

KHEM VAL: Chabosh didn’t have ice.

BABY VETTE: And what slaves?

KHEM VAL: Our slave. Singular.

KHEM VAL looks speculatively at BABY VETTE's neck; BABY VETTE doesn't seem to notice.

YOUNG BOWDAAR, trudging by with a pushbroom over his shoulder: I AM A SLAVE.

BABY KALIYO is alternately running her figure skate’s blade and a small interesting-looking dagger across a whetstone. She seems very interested in the skate’s possibilities.

T7-01: Kaliyo = wear skates // Kaliyo = don’t stab people with them

BABY KALIYO: Can’t I do both?

T7-01 hurries off, whirring. T7-01 returns moments later carrying hockey skates and confiscates the long-bladed, barbed figure skates.

T7-01: Kaliyo = wear skates

BABY ELARA is carefully leading a wobbly BABY JAESA toward the ice.

BABY JAESA: I’m going to kill the floor. My skates are actually going to kill the floor. Why are we doing this? What’d the floor ever do to me?

BABY ELARA: Come on, it’s easy. If I could learn such a leisure activity as recommended in the supplementary child-rearing manual issue four-oh-one-B, I’m sure you can manage. Come on. Feet like a T.

BABY JAESA: Feet like a T.

BABY ELARA: Push this way.

BABY JAESA: Push this way.

BABY KALIYO: THINK FAST!

BABY KALIYO streaks in at a sprint to knock BABY JAESA over. The two skid across the ice rink, struggling and punching.

BABY JAESA: That wasn’t skating at all, you jerk!

BABY KALIYO: I dunno, we were sailing gracefully across the ice for a while there.

BABY JAESA slaps BABY KALIYO. BABY KALIYO giggles.

BABY KALIYO: C'moooon, Dark Side!

BABY ELARA starts frantically shaking her head. BABY JAESA looks uncertainly at BABY KALIYO.

BABY JAESA: I'm…not sure I should be listening to you as an authority.

BABY KALIYO: You've made worse decisions. I'm pretty sure Pierce decided your alignment every day last week.

BABY ELARA: Come on, Jaesa. Let's do something more…orderly.

T7-01 extends three little skate blades and glides to where BABY QUINN is working on a snow structure on the rink.

T7-01: Quinn = not skating?

BABY QUINN: Correct. I am instead building a snow fortress.

T7-01: Snow fortress = usually in snow // middle of the ice rank = bad for snow fortress

BABY QUINN: This is a location of critical strategic importance.

T7-01: Location = critically important for skating // fortress = blocks skating // snowbanks = less disruptive + better for fortresses

BABY QUINN: You'll see. Whoever holds this fort will have total control over the transit of equipment and personnel through the–

BABY JAESA, in a fit of new Republic-and-goodness-and-so-on fervor, comes barreling through on her skates, sending BABY QUINN's snow fortification flying everywhere.

BABY QUINN: All right, perhaps the very center of the route was suboptimal.

T7-01: Quinn = no kidding

BABY QUINN: I could probably have planned that better.

BABY QUINN looks at the snow scattered everywhere. Then he looks over at BABY ELARA, who is happily critiquing BABY JAESA's form.

BABY QUINN: This may yet be turned around…

BABY QUINN makes a hard-packed snowball and sends it whizzing at BABY ELARA hard enough to knock her fuzzy hat off. BABY ELARA squeaks indignantly.

Pandemonium ensues.

Edited January 14, 2013 by bright_ephemera

Pandemonium ensues.

 

Ahahaha.

Pandemonium ensues.

 

Ee-hee-hee! Yes!

BABY KIRA: Maybe not disfiguring. Tasteful little ones, just enough to suggest a difficult childhood.

BABY CORSO: Way ahead of you – Aw, gee, no, scars look sad on you, pretty lady. You shouldn't have to –

BABY KIRA: Put stickers on my face as part of a class exercise?

BABY CORSO: Still distressing.

Haha, Corso, you sap!

 

Behold the power of the five o'clock shadow!! Flipping hilarious.

 

***

BABY JAESA: I’m going to kill the floor. My skates are actually going to kill the floor. Why are we doing this? What’d the floor ever do to me?

lmao...I'm sucking in air here trying not too laugh too loudly