Heyo! I figured I might as well get some stuff off my chest. Warning to all: Everything you are about to read is 100% true. This is all real insights into my life. You're going to think I'm messing around, but I swear, all real, all me.

 

-My legal name is Ernest, but I actually do go by the name Moonshadow personally. My friends call me Moon or Moony. I changed my name for three reasons: 1) Because I was being harrassed in high school and needed to hide from some pretty twisted classmates on Facebook. 2) It is my favorite spell in one of my favorite RPGs of all time, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. I loved it because it was my go-to spell on my Argonian Assassin.and 3) Because I needed to reinvent myself because being Ernest got way too stressful. I was not very social, I was closed off, I wasn't very popular, so I changed myself completely and now being Moonshadow actually helped be become a more tolerable person to interact with.

 

-All of my best friends live out of state from me. I made a lot of new friends during high school, but as anyone who graduates, those friendship dry up quickly. So I made plenty of friends online, in gaming clans and online matches. My best guy friend is name Joe, he lives in the UK. Solid dude, he's trying to become an internet video gaming critic like TotalHalibut and WoWCrendor. My best gal friend is named Claudia. She lives in Chile and is a model/DJ in the South America goth scene. She is so sweet and cool. She's like the cool goth chick friend I wanted in high school.

 

-As stated above, I am a total fan of the Goth lifestyle. It's so dark and alluring. I want to shop at this place in New York called Gothic Renaissance, but it's like high end gothic fashion so it's majorly expensive. But I always stop buy and window shop whenever I go up there and the clothing just freaking calls to me. I love it so much.

 

-I am a major Omnigamer. I play every sort of game you can imagine. Platformers, RPGs, Shooters, Puzzle, etc. I am currently playing a crap ton of MMOs, I am leveling an Assault loadout in Call of Duty: Black Ops II, and I just started Old World Blues in Fallout: New Vegas. Gaming is one of my favorite passions and writing lore for an upcoming MMORPG is a dream come true.

How old are you now? You will find as you get more into adulthood that folks are generally more accepting, however, there are still cliques just like school had. It is cool that you are not afraid or ashamed of who you are.

As for the folks that gave you a bad time... Want to get back at them? Find something that you would enjoy doing professionally. Get educated in it and become successful at it. By "successful" I do not necessarily mean "be rich". By successful I mean, do something that allows you to live your happy life. You being happy with where you are at and what you are doing is the best way to get back at your tormentors. People like them are not going to find real happiness unless they change.

Good luck man and God bless you.

When I read my fantasy or science-fiction books or play my games, I always want to escape in them. For me it feels as if everything done in those fictious worlds, no matter how bleak, grimm and hopeless they might be, has a lot more meaning to it and matters more than anything I'd ever do in our world.

As a consequence this has me spending a lot more time with reading, playing videogames, boardgames, miniature games and roleplaying games than I actually spend on my study. (Not that my study goes bad, it's actually pretty good, 4 semesters so far without any failure.) But it's what comes after that scares me, finding a job I want to do, one that gives me the feel that what I do means and matters and helps someone in this world and not just fill one's pockets with more money so that he can buy a new yaught.

I'm also ashamed to admit my hobbies, being miniature wargaming, roleplaying and videogaming to any other person, when they ask I just idly say that I don't really do anything except occasionally hang out with friends.

I'm Batman.

I am not going to divulge how I know that this is not true.

When I read my fantasy or science-fiction books or play my games, I always want to escape in them. For me it feels as if everything done in those fictious worlds, no matter how bleak, grimm and hopeless they might be, has a lot more meaning to it and matters more than anything I'd ever do in our world.

 

As a consequence this has me spending a lot more time with reading, playing videogames, boardgames, miniature games and roleplaying games than I actually spend on my study. (Not that my study goes bad, it's actually pretty good, 4 semesters so far without any failure.) But it's what comes after that scares me, finding a job I want to do, one that gives me the feel that what I do means and matters and helps someone in this world and not just fill one's pockets with more money so that he can buy a new yaught.

 

I'm also ashamed to admit my hobbies, being miniature wargaming, roleplaying and videogaming to any other person, when they ask I just idly say that I don't really do anything except occasionally hang out with friends.

I understand completely how you feel man. I too spend too much time on games and fantasty worlds but something I never do is be ashamed. I may be introverted but that's who I am and it's how you should be too.

I am not going to divulge how I know that this is not true.

Its the avatar, isn't it?

When I read my fantasy or science-fiction books or play my games, I always want to escape in them. For me it feels as if everything done in those fictious worlds, no matter how bleak, grimm and hopeless they might be, has a lot more meaning to it and matters more than anything I'd ever do in our world.

 

As a consequence this has me spending a lot more time with reading, playing videogames, boardgames, miniature games and roleplaying games than I actually spend on my study. (Not that my study goes bad, it's actually pretty good, 4 semesters so far without any failure.) But it's what comes after that scares me, finding a job I want to do, one that gives me the feel that what I do means and matters and helps someone in this world and not just fill one's pockets with more money so that he can buy a new yaught.

 

I'm also ashamed to admit my hobbies, being miniature wargaming, roleplaying and videogaming to any other person, when they ask I just idly say that I don't really do anything except occasionally hang out with friends.

Its the avatar, isn't it?

Too short...

Along the lines of another poster. I spend too much time playing games and not doing much with my life. I need the escapes these games give me as I have very bad anxiety and depression. I can't function in a work space or public place very well. I shut down and have panic attacks.

I wish I could not be this way and actually be normal, have a job and support myself. But every time I attempt it, I tell myself I can't.

Along the lines of another poster. I spend too much time playing games and not doing much with my life. I need the escapes these games give me as I have very bad anxiety and depression. I can't function in a work space or public place very well. I shut down and have panic attacks.

 

I wish I could not be this way and actually be normal, have a job and support myself. But every time I attempt it, I tell myself I can't.

Your not alone man and being honest is the first step. I just want to say though that you should not consider yourself not normal because who wants to be normal these days? Anyway your not alone I am more or less the same.

Along the lines of another poster. I spend too much time playing games and not doing much with my life. I need the escapes these games give me as I have very bad anxiety and depression. I can't function in a work space or public place very well. I shut down and have panic attacks.

 

I wish I could not be this way and actually be normal, have a job and support myself. But every time I attempt it, I tell myself I can't.

Normal is far to exercised. Like Spectreclees, I do spend a lot of time on games. That said, I have devised a way to push both games and work (and studies, if you are doing them). Oddly enough, a timetable works well. I don't mean a restrictive one, or one you even print out. However, a mental timetable works best. Luckily, work hours obviously take up X hours of my day. However, I have some work I take home. So, I make sure I place a slot for work. I don't mean X hours for work at home. Now, I mean, this time from now, I'm not gaming until this task is done!

Yes, it does mean I don't game some evenings, but so what. I make time for my partner, time for my work, and time for gaming. And yes, I do set a few times (mostly weekends) time = gaming until I set X goal

Same rule for work, same rule for games

I'm an EMO... or something. I dislike most of my "friends". I think they're pretty darn rude. And whenever I actually negatively react to something they do, their annoyance and disapproval of my reaction becomes almost palpable.

I have to ask: why do you keep them around then?

What's the point of having friends you don't like?

I have to ask: why do you keep them around then?

What's the point of having friends you don't like?

We all have the same hobby. I'm not sure if I could find another group of people if I left them. They also depend on me to organize games, and despite my aforementioned displeasure, I would feel guilty up and leaving.

We all have the same hobby. I'm not sure if I could find another group of people if I left them. They also depend on me to organize games, and despite my aforementioned displeasure, I would feel guilty up and leaving.

Sorry to hear that man. In the past I have been the Christian among a few "friends" who aren't Christian. I know what it feels like to be "tolerated". You can't find a new group?

In all seriousness though. Since we are about confessions here, Jesus is my Lord and Savior.

That's not something you need to confess. That shouldn't be a weight on your shoulders.

But it is good to know that there are some fellow believers on this forum.

I tried to think of somthing good to confess it was hard

Then it came to me I'm a really boring person

I'm supposed to be writing an essay right now and instead I am just reading random stuff on the forums

I have no self-discipline at all.

That's not something you need to confess. That shouldn't be a weight on your shoulders.

 

But it is good to know that there are some fellow believers on this forum.

It's not a weight. I proudly confess.