Keep the characters and make as less change as possible?

 

My idea

 

Chapter 1 overall is ok to me, yes Zash let you find artifacts but you do deal with Jedi or cunning Sith most of the time. Only Tatooine is a bit weak.

 

The end of chapter 1 is not that bad, it's just too predictable. Maybe a bit more surprise can be added, such as Kalig betrayed you by want to take over your body and you have to work with Zash to deal with him after you beat Zash.

 

Chapter 2 could do better on the reason Thanaton turns on you. Less "tradition" nonsense, just powerplay. Then you should start to build your powerhouse rather than catch ghosts. Zash's two apprentices and the cult could make some use.

The Taris arc is quite good, except Ashara should be corrupted and become an asset.

You should be able to save one apprentice in Quesh and recruit that assassin Thanaton sent.

Hoth could be make ally with the moffs and make the super weapon Silencer.

In the end of chapter 2 Thanaton should be killed there.

 

Chapter 3's "healing body and soul" is rubbish.

I think Belsavis could be about you go there to learn from the Dread Masters and Voss is for you to increase power in the Dark Heart to prepare for the war. At the same time start the power struggle with your superior in the council.

Corellia is the place to show your power and skills against the Jedi and Republic, through this victory and probably murder your superior in the council to make yourself ascend to the council. The final boss could be some Jedi High Council member in Corellia then a Dark Council member.

 

Or let Thanaton get away in the end of chapter 2 by some reason such as the war restarted so both of your superior on the council ordered you both to assist with the war, through the process Thanaton ascended to the council and have a final showdown with him in the end.

Edited February 20, 2013 by Slowpokeking

I'd make it so Zash can be a companion instead of Khem at some point.

 

I'd make it so one of the companions you got was one of the apprentices that end up killed. Possibly replacing Ashara as she was just to whiney imo. Or maybe it's because my Inquisitor is female and she hates female SIs.

 

I'd make Thanaton's hate for you way more clearer than it was.

 

Other than that, I actually quite enjoyed the SI storyline.

I have some pretty elaborate ideas that I think would've been pretty neat, but really, rather than do my whole new muscles on the same skeleton thing here, I'll just note the two or three most important things:

 

First, fewer ghosts. It felt a little too repetitive to end up with so many in so few planets. Remove Zavros or Horak, and have the plot of their respective planet focus a little more on building some other form of power.

 

Second, along similar lines, no separate trips for healing body, then mind. Get it all over and done with and move on to better things.

 

Finally, get Xalek earlier. There's no reason the whole "go pre-order your apprentice on Korriban" thing can't start before you ever even go to Taris, allowing the scenes to move quicker and Xalek to join by or before Belsavis.

I would make a few minor changes. Overall I felt the story was set up well except for Thanaton. I would have him being replaced by Ffon as the main antagonist. Thanaton was introduced late in the story. Replacing him with Ffon creates a real rival and villain. I suppose Ffon could be apprenticed to Thanaton or Skotia and he kills them to move up in the power chain. Then he decides to turn his power base against you. Then boom chapters 2 and 3 are the same except with Ffon replacing Thanaton.

during the kaggath my cult should be involded

also I would killed xalik for killing the tewilk, tradition is the reason why.

would liked a reason why thanton wanted my scalp, or reason behind the traditon that he had to.

Edited February 20, 2013 by legolegion

I would make some changes:

 

1. Rewrite Ashara joining...I can see reasons she might have joined, but implementation was too sloppy in my opinion. I still would not give possibility to turn her however, she is far more useful as Jedi than Sith, but perhaps chat with Zash after Taris to make it clearer for players.

 

2. Khem Val problem --

 

 

3. I would rewrote how you get fleet and remove Silencer. I dislike so powerful super weapons. Perhaps instead prototype of Super Star Destroyer of a sort -- still far more powerful than ordinary, but not one shot killing machine.

 

4. Use your companions more in Kaggath! For example have Ashara manipulate Green Jedi to attack Darth Thanaton bases. Andronikos could also use his contacts to feed alliance information for same reason. Xalek could assassinate some high ranking officers who support Darth Thanaton.

 

5. Show more of future possibilities rather than have this closed story -- for example Xalek road to Darthdom. Give Talos mission to figure out way to put contents of the rakata box into use. Talk with Moff Pyron about possibilities of making him Grand Moff and so on.

Edited February 20, 2013 by Chaloss

Really what it needs now is a follow-up/sequel/continuation... Now that you're on the Dark Council, things should be getting interesting. Instead, things essentially fizzle out as that's the end of the character arc...

Remove healing body and soul,

Dark council at end of act 2,

Dark council exploits for the rest of it, would be awesome

This isn't so much story as change some of the dialogue. I was playing a Sorc a while back and was on Nar Shadaa. For the most part, Dark Side choices are villainous and such. Then I hit the Dark Side choice on one element, and my Sorc immediately demands donations so he can have robes of pure gold. What the F is this about? Maybe if I had chosen the dialogue options where he's Zash's effing pet and she treats him like a little lapdog, it'd make sense. What's this supposed to show? The character's sad mental state?

 

Not long after, i got burned out on the Sorc and ended up deleting him.

Remove healing body and soul,

Dark council at end of act 2,

Dark council exploits for the rest of it, would be awesome

Problem with that is you'd need some sort of 'grand finale' where you achieve a great title etc. and becoming a Dark Council member fits that quite well. Also becoming a Dark Council member that quickly is a little crazy...

 

I like some of the OPs ideas. I think the first chapter is good, I wouldn't change anything. Sure I was expecting Zash to betray me but it became a sort of when and how thing for me which was quite suspenseful. Also I was completely taken aback by her appearance.

 

And yes, I'm remove the whole 'force walking' thing - its cool but kind of cheapens the Inquisitors power. I think this is how it should go from Chapter 2:

 

 

• 
   
  
• Chapter 2 concerns you as a Lord, building up your own powerbase with little mention of Thanaton. Instead it introduces a competing Lord - Harken, who has somehow managed to get into the Sith hierarchy and is bent on revenge, you outmanoeuvre him however subterfuge and trickery. You gain military allies on Taris and are rewarded with the Silencer amongst other things and on Hoth you ally yourself with Imperial Reclamation's Service, who reward you with powerful Sith artifacts. You somehow combine the spheres of ancient knowledge with military might in a 'new vision' of how the Empire should be. On Quesh similar events happen, with Thanaton attempting to thwart your efforts.
   
   
  
• End of Chapter 2 should involve a battle between you and Harken, who is defeated. I'm thinking a space battle might be cool, with your Taris allies providing a fleet. Then they'll be a big reveal where Thanaton openly confronts you and you are easily defeated because you are not yet powerful enough - you however manage to escape alive. (No battle here, something similar to the original beginning of Chapter 2.)
   
   
  
• In Chapter 3 Thanaton will be hunting you, he sees you as a threat to his position etc. While you accumulate power in the Force with help from the Reclamations Service who help you uncover powerful Sith rituals etc. the Rakata presence on Belsavis and the Dark Heart could come into play here.
   
   
  
• After Belsavis and Hoth, Thanaton tires of chasing you and openly declares war on your accumulated power base AKA the Kaggath. In the Kaggath you should have all your allies come to your aid e.g. the cult on Nar Sharddaa, the allies you made on Taris and Hoth, rather than just the Moffs. I think that would be pretty cool and lots of 'hey, your back!' moments, really bumps up the story. The Coreilla arc is much as it was except your masterminding a war against Thanaton with all your allies present. The Reclamations Service supplies you with powerful ancient tech or Sith artifacts you can use as weapons. The military allies you made on Taris supply you with troops, ships etc.
   
   
  
• Ends with a big fight in the before the Dark Council, Thanaton dies and you ascend.
  

 

Basically cut out the ghost gobbling nonsense and replace it with what we were promised in the trailer - aggregating power and dealing out deception and subterfuge.

Rather than rewriting everything that I've written before on this topic, I'll save you all the ten pages and give a brief summary.

 

Basically just make the SI do something in his story besides just being the muscle. Have him think....or at least have the option of thinking. Rather than having him walk into at least three traps completely blindly and trusting like only to survive because he is so awesome and the destined one/saved by his ancestor/dumb luck, have him actually see the trap coming and prepare. For example:

 

Rather than rewriting everything that I've written before on this topic, I'll save you all the ten pages and give a brief summary.

 

Basically just make the SI do something in his story besides just being the muscle. Have him think....or at least have the option of thinking. Rather than having him walk into at least three traps completely blindly and trusting like only to survive because he is so awesome and the destined one/saved by his ancestor/dumb luck, have him actually see the trap coming and prepare. For example:

 

 

Rather than having Zash tell you to bring Khem'Val, have her tell you not to bring him and the SI is suspicious so he has Kham tage alsong in secret

 

 

Also have him be a bit more proactive rather than having things fall into his lap.

 

 

-For example, have the SI approach the admiral about the silencer rather than have him just randomly decide to throw his lot in with some no name SIth.

-For the Kagaath have the SI come up with the plan of forcing Thanaton to stay and fight through the use of ancient ritual rather than having Thanaton make the challenge.

 

 

Certainly more changes that could be made, but those are ideas on how it could have been improved while keeping the general overall arc. *shrug*

I couldn't agree more. I mean in Chapter 1 it makes sense, Zash is your Master, you do her bidding etc etc. But when I became a Sith Lord and was expecting to start making decisions for myself, I find Zash (in the form of Khem Val) becomes by quest giver once again and practically the brains behind the whole operation. I feel so useless.

 

I think my ideas for the story would rectify this, with Chapter 2 being about him building up his powerbase. He actively seeks out and gains the favour of his allies rather than them coming to him. And I like the idea of the SI declaring the Kaggath. It could be an accumulation of all his efforts to build up a power base and gain personal strength, flushing Thanaton out of the shadows who prievously would have been attempting to bump him off with assassins and the like.

Rather than rewriting everything that I've written before on this topic, I'll save you all the ten pages and give a brief summary.

 

Basically just make the SI do something in his story besides just being the muscle. Have him think....or at least have the option of thinking. Rather than having him walk into at least three traps completely blindly and trusting like only to survive because he is so awesome and the destined one/saved by his ancestor/dumb luck, have him actually see the trap coming and prepare. For example:

 

 

Rather than having Zash tell you to bring Khem'Val, have her tell you not to bring him and the SI is suspicious so he has Kham tage alsong in secret

 

 

Also have him be a bit more proactive rather than having things fall into his lap.

 

 

-For example, have the SI approach the admiral about the silencer rather than have him just randomly decide to throw his lot in with some no name SIth.

-For the Kagaath have the SI come up with the plan of forcing Thanaton to stay and fight through the use of ancient ritual rather than having Thanaton make the challenge.

 

 

Certainly more changes that could be made, but those are ideas on how it could have been improved while keeping the general overall arc. *shrug*

 

I think the reason it was done as it is now is to avoid strange leaps of story. How does SI know what lord or Moff to contact, about Kaggath and so on? I look SI more as person who goes with the flow as long as it suits him/her.

Two things:

 

 

 

I think the reason it was done as it is now is to avoid strange leaps of story. How does SI know what lord or Moff to contact, about Kaggath and so on? I look SI more as person who goes with the flow as long as it suits him/her.

 

Obviously there would have to be some additional changes, but it really wouldn't be too much of a change. For the Moff, it would be easy (and sort of intuitive) to add a scene where the SI has someone investigate Thanaton's power base. Hell have the two red shirts give you the info before their death.

 

As for the Kagaath, just have a scene play out like this(with better writing):

 

(One of your companions): "Thanaton has gone into hiding, and we aren't having any luck in tracking him down."

SI: "We know that he is slavishly devouted to ancient traditions. Perhaps we can use that to our advantage. Zash are there any traditions that would force him to face me?"

Zash: "Well there is the Kaggath (brief expalnation), but no one cares about that any more."

SI: "No one except Thanaton and his followers, send out announcements to all of Thanaton's minions that I am challenging Thanaton to a Kaggath! I'm sure he'll get the message."

Certainly more changes that could be made, but those are ideas on how it could have been improved while keeping the general overall arc. *shrug*

 

I agree that some small, strategic changes could greatly improve the story. Great ideas!

 

 

If I would rewrite the story, I would change some more things. Not because it's necessary, but because I think it fits better with the class. Currently, the story we get is not the story of an Sith Inquisitor, but the story of a Sith Sorcerer. I would make the SI an actual Inquisitor. He/she would hunt down followers of a different heresy in every chapter while building his powerbase.

 

(Two Dark Council members play larger roles. The Head of the Pyramid of Ancient Knowledge and the Head of the Pyramid of Sith Philosophy. Thanaton is one of them, but I'm not sure in which position he would fit better. He would probably be a different character and less annoying. According the the Encyclopedia, Darth Aruk would be the other one.)

 

Chapter 1 - The old Dark Lords

Zash (an inquisitor herself) is hunting down Sith who prefer ancient Dark Lords and their bloodlines over the Emperor. She sends you on a quest to investigate the cult. This would be a mixture of artifact collection and ghost encounters (I haven't worked out the details). In the end Zash is revealed as an enemy and you have to fight her.

 

Chapter 2 - The Light Side

After Zash is gone, the Head of the Pyramid of Sith Philosophy (HSP) makes you his apprentice. Light side teachings are spreading among the Sith and some are rumored to have contact with the Jedi. Several Sith are suspects, but to prove this, you have to get a Jedi who might know better. (Ashara, of course. She has a much larger role and is fully corruptable. But if you go that route, it takes half of her storyline until she finally goes over fully to the dark side.) You can either largly root out the light side Sith or secretly join them and throw the suspicions off.

 

Chapter 3 - Ancient Knowledge

The Head of the Pyramid of Ancient Knowledge (HAK) thinks that ancient knowledge from Belsavis and Voss will give the Empire an advantage in the war. The HSP thinks this knowledge might contradict Sith Traditions. He sends you to help the HAK, but closely observe him to finally expose his doing. Now you have to choose: Do you follow the traditions or the path to more power. You secretly side with either the HSP or the HAK and undermine the other on Corellia. Which finally leads to the last fight and you take the DK seat of the one you chose as your enemy.

 

 

So all in all you get to choose between traditions, power and light side. And you gain your council seat largly through political manipulation and choosing the right allies. The story would also be more balanced between infiltration and sorcery, so it would fit Sorcerers and Assassins.

I would change it so one could romance and sleep with Zash. I think that would be a great shocker / plot twist. Plus she is hot with her "make-up" anyway.

 

As someone already mentioned, I would love to be able to crush that bone face. On top of that he is a completely dull character. I would just take Harkin as an apprentice. I mean like him and he sounds like an intriguing character.

I agree that some small, strategic changes could greatly improve the story. Great ideas!

 

 

If I would rewrite the story, I would change some more things. Not because it's necessary, but because I think it fits better with the class. Currently, the story we get is not the story of an Sith Inquisitor, but the story of a Sith Sorcerer. I would make the SI an actual Inquisitor. He/she would hunt down followers of a different heresy in every chapter while building his powerbase.

 

(Two Dark Council members play larger roles. The Head of the Pyramid of Ancient Knowledge and the Head of the Pyramid of Sith Philosophy. Thanaton is one of them, but I'm not sure in which position he would fit better. He would probably be a different character and less annoying. According the the Encyclopedia, Darth Aruk would be the other one.)

 

Chapter 1 - The old Dark Lords

Zash (an inquisitor herself) is hunting down Sith who prefer ancient Dark Lords and their bloodlines over the Emperor. She sends you on a quest to investigate the cult. This would be a mixture of artifact collection and ghost encounters (I haven't worked out the details). In the end Zash is revealed as an enemy and you have to fight her.

 

Chapter 2 - The Light Side

After Zash is gone, the Head of the Pyramid of Sith Philosophy (HSP) makes you his apprentice. Light side teachings are spreading among the Sith and some are rumored to have contact with the Jedi. Several Sith are suspects, but to prove this, you have to get a Jedi who might know better. (Ashara, of course. She has a much larger role and is fully corruptable. But if you go that route, it takes half of her storyline until she finally goes over fully to the dark side.) You can either largly root out the light side Sith or secretly join them and throw the suspicions off.

 

Chapter 3 - Ancient Knowledge

The Head of the Pyramid of Ancient Knowledge (HAK) thinks that ancient knowledge from Belsavis and Voss will give the Empire an advantage in the war. The HSP thinks this knowledge might contradict Sith Traditions. He sends you to help the HAK, but closely observe him to finally expose his doing. Now you have to choose: Do you follow the traditions or the path to more power. You secretly side with either the HSP or the HAK and undermine the other on Corellia. Which finally leads to the last fight and you take the DK seat of the one you chose as your enemy.

 

 

So all in all you get to choose between traditions, power and light side. And you gain your council seat largly through political manipulation and choosing the right allies. The story would also be more balanced between infiltration and sorcery, so it would fit Sorcerers and Assassins.

 

Feels the same way with the Consular storyline. Hasn't felt like a Shadow storyline at all to me Hopefully that changes.

 

As for this, good idea. I'd add that I'd still have Zash inhabit Khem's body, then havethe storyline play out that lets you keep Khem or keep Zash, and if you keep Zash, you can pick a new body for her! Not only does this give a new romance option, it gives a choice on the fate of your companion!

Feels the same way with the Consular storyline. Hasn't felt like a Shadow storyline at all to me Hopefully that changes.

 

As for this, good idea. I'd add that I'd still have Zash inhabit Khem's body, then havethe storyline play out that lets you keep Khem or keep Zash, and if you keep Zash, you can pick a new body for her! Not only does this give a new romance option, it gives a choice on the fate of your companion!

Well the storyline already gives you that choice, accept the part about finding Zash a new body, she remains in Khem's body.

Feels the same way with the Consular storyline. Hasn't felt like a Shadow storyline at all to me Hopefully that changes.

 

I think some planets do fit with the Shadow. Definitly Balmorra, but to a lesser extend also Nar Shadda, Corellia, Taris, Quesh and Hoth. But you're right, the overall storyline is a sage storyline.

 

As for this, good idea. I'd add that I'd still have Zash inhabit Khem's body, then havethe storyline play out that lets you keep Khem or keep Zash, and if you keep Zash, you can pick a new body for her! Not only does this give a new romance option, it gives a choice on the fate of your companion!

 

That would still fit into the storyline, I think. It might be a little difficult with the game limit of companions. If you have to kick Khem out of the party to get Zash in her new body, who will be your tank? (Zash seems more like a sorcerer type.)

That would still fit into the storyline, I think. It might be a little difficult with the game limit of companions. If you have to kick Khem out of the party to get Zash in her new body, who will be your tank? (Zash seems more like a sorcerer type.)

IMO Khem/Zash is pretty cool and I wouldn't change it - plus it makes her subservient to you and you don't have to worry about betrayals. What would be cool in the future though is to have two branches of companion quests, one for if you kept Khem, and one for if you kept Zash.

 

For Zash it could be about incoporating the hidden elements of her powerbase into yours, and for Khem it could be uncovering the lost secrets of Tulak Hord, a largely unexplored Sith Lord, and learning about those great battles of Yn and Chabosh!

I think some planets do fit with the Shadow. Definitly Balmorra, but to a lesser extend also Nar Shadda, Corellia, Taris, Quesh and Hoth. But you're right, the overall storyline is a sage storyline.

 

 

 

That would still fit into the storyline, I think. It might be a little difficult with the game limit of companions. If you have to kick Khem out of the party to get Zash in her new body, who will be your tank? (Zash seems more like a sorcerer type.)

 

Zash would be the tank. No reason not to keep her as the tank. After the experience with Khem could account for any changes to go from sorcerer to tank.