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08.31.2015 , 09:21 AM | #80
Part 3-42. In which Nalenne and Rho seek a plot device

This series has pervasive spoilers for the Shadow of Revan Rishi questline. It also regularly uses the chapter 3 titles for the Sith Warrior and Sith Inquisitor, along with the background of their companions.

When seeking a criminal chum,
Don’t let pet selection be dumb.
A pirate, a parrot,
The pairing’s got merit -
Just watch for the droppings therefrom.

“Hands off the monkey-lizard!”

“Did it hand you a datapad in the last half-hour?”

“Shove off, baldy!”

“Oh, that was the wrong thing to say.” Nalenne raised one hand and focused on a Force choke on the grizzled pirate. “Did. You get. A datapad. Flail for yes, go limp for no.”

Gagging, the pirate made what appeared to be a titanic attempt to stay still.

“There now. That wasn’t so bad.” She let her hand fall and the pirate slammed to his chair, clutching his throat. “Red Bulls.”

“Hulls,” corrected Rho.

“Red Hulls. Spread the word.” Nalenne moved on.

“There has to be a better way to do this,” said Rho.

“Then why don’t you run along and find it?” Nalenne gestured down the boardwalk with its hodgepodge of storefronts and liberal sprinkling of sidewalk tables. “I’ll just keep working here.”

“Excuse me, sir,” said Rho, “did your monkey-lizard–”

“Pike off,” growled the lady pirate.

Nalenne watched. When Rho looked at her she raised her eyebrows expectantly.

“Er, please?” essayed Rho.

“Where’s our fearsome reputation when we need it?” said Nalenne. “Come on, let’s try the next one. Hey, you! The Red Skulls–”

“Hulls–” coughed Rho–

“–the Red Hulls want a datapad! Did your monkey-lizard take it?”

The Nikto heaved to his feet. “What if ‘e did?” he rumbled.

“Then I’m going to take it back,” said Nalenne. “And probably eat you and all your little friends, too.”

The Nikto backed down. “Whoa. Let’s not get crazy here.”

“Didn’t think so,” she said, with satisfaction. “All right, next!”

They wended their way down the boardwalk, accosting everyone with a monkey lizard and some without, Rho looking increasingly green as she went – and, correspondingly, Nalenne getting increasingly red.

“GIVE ME ALL YOUR MONKEY-LIZARDS,” she howled at the last table of pirates. “OR BE EATEN, MESSILY.”

The pirates exchanged looks.

“Hey, Dev,” said one. “Think this is about that datapad?”

“Yes!” Rho said relievedly. “Yes, it is! Would you please hand it over?”

“How much are you willing to give for such a nice outcome?” oozed the pirate.

“Well, I–”

“How about your life, for starters,” snarled Nalenne, and raised another Force choke. “Red Hulls forever!”

“At least you got our name right,” muttered Rho. “Is this really necessary?”

“It’s simple. If they like him, just one little squeeze is necessary. If they don’t, I’ll have to kill him and then start on the next guy.” She smiled. With teeth.

One of the pirates leaned forward, frowning. “Uh, which next guy, exactly? Just out of curiosity.”

Still holding one hand aloft to crush the unfortunate first pirate’s throat, Nalenne made a show of counting off between the other two. “Hmm, eenie, meenie, miney, moe, catch tuk’ata by the toe, spin him ‘round and let him go…oh, who am I kidding, you.” She pointed at the pirate who had spoken up.

Said pirate’s Adam’s apple waggled up and down several times before he managed to speak. “Here you go,” he said, and grabbed something beneath the table, and offered Nalenne a datapad.

“Good boy.” Nalenne let her hand fall. The choked pirate fell forward on the table, gasping. “Red Hulls. Don’t forget it.”
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---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST