Like the title says! It's hard to find a thread in the General Discussion board without someone insulting someone else. Well, not just boards, but any time people come in contact on the internet. Please know, I'm not directing this at any one person. And, that the examples I use are just that, examples. Words in the example can be switch with others, and still hold meaning. Since this is a SWTOR board, my examples will tend to use SWTOR references. I don't intend this to be some kind of jab at the SWTOR community in any way.

Usually I see the unwarranted and/or unnecessary insults to come from either having a different opinion, being wrong, or sarcasm. Also, proving points, but that usually falls into the reasons already stated. Such as, proving a point at to why your opinion is this way as oppose to that way. Why is it so hard to some people to just be nice and helpful? Why can't someone state their opinion without insulting someone else's? I assume it's the anonymity that comes with the internet. But, even then, why?

I know, this is the "vocal minority". But! If you're just lurking and reading post (which, I enjoy doing), then you're not adding positive feedback. I don't mean to make that sound like a bad thing, but the vocal ones make up the internet community, so the "vocal minority" has a much larger impact. Maybe if the ones that had positive feedback posted more often, this wouldn't be the case. But, they (we) don't. I don't speak for anyone else, but I know there have been times when I won't post my positive feedback because I feel like I'll just have someone quote my message, highlight one sentence in it, and start trying to fight about it. Of course, not without insulting me, first! And while being insulted by strangers doesn't bother me, I don't see the need to subject myself to something I don't have an interest taking part in. So now, the thread loses a positive post, and the negative posters (that for some reason feel the NEED to post) continue to pick fights.

Something else I'm wondering! The saying, "Get thick skin." I don't understand why so many people use this as an excuse to just let things slide. "Thick Skin" is only covering the problem, when I would think people would want to fix the problem instead. Why not create a more positive and constructive online environment? That would be more beneficial than to tell someone to get over it. Is it just too much effort to help someone? Really wondering. Telling someone to get thick skin is the easy way out.

Another thing I don't get is why people encourage it. By egging others on because they find the "argument" to be entertaining. Everyone has their ways of having fun, and that's completely understandable. But, I don't understand the people that have fun in negative environments. They're only making the issue worse. So, I'm just asking why, as to maybe understand it.

Personally, when someone feels the need to insult someone else to help prove their point, they've already greatly suffered their point. Normally, this invalidates their point. From a debate OR discussion view, you've told me that you're grasping at air now to try and get your point across. So, you feel the need to throw in an insult that doesn't add anything, you're just trying to strengthen your words because you feel like they alone are not enough. This is just my personal view on it. Though it sounds unfair to disregard someone because they can't discuss without insulting, I will still read their post. I just may not respond to it anymore, and instead seek someone else that can talk without insults to have a more pleasant conversation. If that make people feel like they "won", so be it. They can have a delusional "victory" while I find more enjoyable people to talk to. To me, it's not about "winning" (winning an online fight... woo?), it's about enjoying my time spent online.

Another thing I wonder! Why do people assume things about others while online? "You didn't catch the sarcasm in my post, so you must suck at English or have horrible reading skills." Really? How does it make sense to someone to assume something that realistically, they know nothing about? Not just reading online sarcasm (because that's so easy), but just other things in general? "You have 5 level 60s? You must have no life and live with your parents still" What? So, because someone spends their time doing something different than you (or, doing it more effective than you), you assume they have no life and live with their parents? Or, maybe they do spend most of their time playing SWTOR. So? That's not having no life. They spend their time doing what makes them happy, which is what life is about, isn't it? So, their life (not YOUR life) involves more SWTOR than you. Somehow leading you to assume they have no life. Is this a cover up for jealously, or another easy way out option?

Why do people consider "White Knighting" to be a bad thing? Shouldn't being a good person be a good thing? I'm sure there are cases that "white knighting" isn't a positive thing. But, the word (like others) have been watered down and twisted so much, it's considered an insult. I don't agree with the term, but being a good person shouldn't be used as an insult against others. Now days, "white knights" AND the term "fan boys" are considered the same thing, and used as another easy way out. Similar to get thick skin. "You don't agree with me, so you're just a fan boy." If a person has a different opinion, why is one automatically labeled as the lesser?

I'm not looking for a fight or anything. But, I may ask questions if you answer, assuming I still don't understand. Hope you don't mind! I'm also not looking for statements such as, "Then don't go online if it bothers you so much!" It's not about me. We're all part of an online community, together. If I thought about only me, then I would just be part of the problem.

Please know, I don't want to sound as if I'm complaining or crying. I know, I can ignore the problem (usually by adding the person to an ignore list). Woo. That's not the discussion or answers I was looking for.

I apologize for the lengthy post. I love to read and write, so I find it difficult to "hit the highlights".

I also apologize that my "points" are a bit scattered. I'm a bit scattered right now! Haha

Edit: Also! I say I'm looking for the answers to these questions. In reality, I know there is no one answer, everyone is different. So really, I'm looking for other people's input as to what they've noticed why people act certain ways while online.

Edit: I also talk about the vocal minority. I know that not everyone is a bitter person online. But, a vocal minority has a larger impact than a silent majority.

Because online there are no repercussions like there are in the real world. While a jerk might curb his tongue on the street for fear of gettting the crap beat out of him for being a douchebag, online they might get a mute or a ban if whoever is supposed to be moderating decides to actually do so.

No sense of responsibility makes for ******tery all around.

Because online there are no repercussions like there are in the real world. While a jerk might curb his tongue on the street for fear of gettting the crap beat out of him for being a douchebag, online they might get a mute or a ban if whoever is supposed to be moderating decides to actually do so.

 

No sense of responsibility makes for ******tery all around.

Definitely agree, there! The anonymity of being online makes some people toss decency out the virtual window, haha.

I do wish it wasn't frowned upon by some people to be a decent human while online. I know it doesn't always make someone a target to be decent, but I've seen many cases where it does. Perhaps if it wasn't "accepted" as bad or a "not cool" thing to be good, more people would risk being more positive. One can dream that the internet can change! I wish it was the "cool" thing to be a good person.

As a side note, I play Empire! Not that it really means something about a person, just saying.

I'm sure i will get hated for this, but here is my opinion:

It's "dorks" and "nerds". These are some of the most rude and spiteful people you will ever meet.

(This does not speak for all just a great deal, I'm on a gaming forum about starwars. Irony)

When I was a young man I was a BULLY.

I would pick on these kids in my school and the one thing that bothered me, was that it was me and a buddy of mine against six of these guys.

Never once would they stick up for themselves or most importantly...for each other.

In fact we could make fun of one guy and the others would laugh at their "friend".

A lot of of my friends at that time were people I had gotten into fights with and over ridiculous stuff like my cheap sneakers lol.

Those kids we picked on did nothing and frankly I deserved to get my backside kicked.

Looking back on those days I was wrong, obviously.

Needless to say those guys never stood up for each other.

Years later i am pretty good friends with some of them and I know they used to talk a lot of smack when nobody was around.

The stuff they said behind my back was a lot worse than the things we said to their faces.

They would insult our grades, our family lives, stuff that was pretty hurtful.

A lot of them grew up to be total scum bags. Some of them are cool of course.

The point is this: There are a lot of people that are cowards, but that does not make them meak.

These people are simply a different kind of bully. They hide behind the safety of the their computer screens and insult people with hurful painfull things that they would never have the courage to say to another mans face. I have never seen as much racism and inequality as I see on the internet. A lot of people are those quiet kids that sat at that table

And laughed at their own "friends".

((((((Disclaimer))))))

When I said I was a bully, I was NOT the physical attack you and steal your lunch money type. That's just plain criminal. Just verbal teasing. Just had to make that clear, I never picked fights with anyone smaller

I'm sure i will get hated for this, but here is my opinion:

 

It's "dorks" and "nerds". These are some of the most rude and spiteful people you will ever meet.

(This does not speak for all just a great deal, I'm on a gaming forum about starwars. Irony)

 

When I was a young man I was a BULLY.

 

I would pick on these kids in my school and the one thing that bothered me, was that it was me and a buddy of mine against six of these guys.

Never once would they stick up for themselves or most importantly...for each other.

In fact we could make fun of one guy and the others would laugh at their "friend".

 

A lot of of my friends at that time were people I had gotten into fights with and over ridiculous stuff like my cheap sneakers lol.

 

Those kids we picked on did nothing and frankly I deserved to get my backside kicked.

 

Looking back on those days I was wrong, obviously.

 

Needless to say those guys never stood up for each other.

 

Years later i am pretty good friends with some of them and I know they used to talk a lot of smack when nobody was around.

The stuff they said behind my back was a lot worse than the things we said to their faces.

They would insult our grades, our family lives, stuff that was pretty hurtful.

 

A lot of them grew up to be total scum bags. Some of them are cool of course.

 

The point is this: There are a lot of people that are cowards, but that does not make them meak.

These people are simply a different kind of bully. They hide behind the safety of the their computer screens and insult people with hurful painfull things that they would never have the courage to say to another mans face. I have never seen as much racism and inequality as I see on the internet. A lot of people are those quiet kids that sat at that table

And laughed at their own "friends".

 

((((((Disclaimer))))))

When I said I was a bully, I was NOT the physical attack you and steal your lunch money type. That's just plain criminal. Just verbal teasing. Just had to make that clear, I never picked fights with anyone smaller

No hatred in this thread! In fact, this was the kind of answer I was looking for. And, your post made me think about something else.

I know the spectrum of negative posters online includes all walks of life that have access to the internet. But, the bullied seem like a common variable. Not saying anyone that was bully becomes and online bully! But, something important to remember in all situations is that different people handle things differently. Like Kirorx said, some became good people and even friends, while others became negative.

I've never bullied anyone or been bullied before. I've stood up to bullies for others, but that doesn't make me part of the situation, it just makes me a buffer. Haha, I had one guy crying under the table at a pep rally, once. He was making fun of someone that got bobcat (our mascot) paws painted across his face. Really hurt his reputation that he got beat up by girl. I didn't even hit him! Just, defending people Is when my "woman's wrath" comes out.

Thank you very much for giving my some insight into your experiences! I can't help but to wonder if these negative posters just need some love. Sounds really cheesy of me to say. But, maybe they lacked it when they were younger, and could use some now? I do try to be nice to the people that I've described, but if it's directed at me, I usually say nothing. If you have nothing nice to say, don't say anything at all. I don't know... just kind of "thinking out loud" as much as you can while not talking....

Something else I'm wondering! The saying, "Get thick skin." I don't understand why so many people use this as an excuse to just let things slide. "Thick Skin" is only covering the problem, when I would think people would want to fix the problem instead. Why not create a more positive and constructive online environment? That would be more beneficial than to tell someone to get over it. Is it just too much effort to help someone? Really wondering. Telling someone to get thick skin is the easy way out.

I know of a scientifioc study which points out that internet anonymity really changes people., It's like schizophrenia or how this mental illness is called.

2 entirely, and I mean ENTIRELY different persons in 1 body ! One of both is always there, and the other one appears ONLY when in anonymity - "internet anonymity", that is ...

This is what makes people behave this way. They do all these evil and selfish things because they do know that they can't get charged for what they do. No-one knows what person is hiding behind that screen name - which people take as "everything goes".

You can watch a similar thing when people go on vacation. especially, when they go into another country. The Spanish island of Mallorca is infamous for being visited by people who loose any sign of civilization once they reach the island. Certain countrie are especially infamous for getting drunk there.

The American "Spring Break" is a similar phenomenon.

If in anonymity, the human being is an animal.

What I also often see - at least this is the impression I get - is that most people in competitive parts of MMOs seem to rather be "dandelion people".

I found this article, and it describes what I mean quite good : http://www.highlysensitivepeople.com/Orchid-and-Dandelion-Children.shtml

When I was a young man I was a BULLY.

 

I would pick on these kids in my school and the one thing that bothered me, was that it was me and a buddy of mine against six of these guys.

Never once would they stick up for themselves or most importantly...for each other.

In fact we could make fun of one guy and the others would laugh at their "friend".

In school, I was bullied once. Quite effectively. It broke me.

The others in the class laughed about me. They never defended me.

Years later they apologized. But it was far too late.

After 20 years of struggling with it, I did a psychotherapy. Diagnosis : Sociophobia. Triggered at school.

But not only in later school, but also in elementary school. Because I was so different. I was YEARS ahead of everyone else mentally - and everything else was dragging behind.

They just couldn'*t understand me. Because I was doing philosophy when everyone else was still playing with toys. I tried to explain my enviironment to me, and came up with my own scientifig theories to explain things - which I later learned were right. But I wasa a kid, a teenager, then.

So, they couldn't understand me, that's why they found me oh so funny. They called me "the little idiot" in elementary school. And no-one wanbted to play with this idiot.

The bullies later at school were much harder. I tried my very best to defent me - but they took so many parts away from me. The worst was that they made me look as if I wasn't "a real man". Well, a Poet naturally isn't. But that wqasn't enough to them. They tried to took my self-esteem from me so that I would look like being absolutely powerless. It was like "do not look at this weakling ! Look at us instead ! We are the REAL men ! We even have the power to break such a guy ! We are SO much better as a good, big friend for the girls !"

The class I was in was dysfunctional anyway. That's why they never helped me.

Now, with a bit more than 40 years of age, I look mostly back onto a broken life. I couldnever develop normally - like others do - because of my Sociophobia. Fear of certain social situations. Trauma.

I'm healed now - to the greatest part. The rest of my lie I'll have to work to get the rest of my problems repaired. I look back, and I see a broken life. I'm therefore damned to look foirwards, because I cannot turn back, I cannot go back and repair the past again.

That's why I'm jealous about those who have reached the things I wanted to reach as well. I have never married, I most likely will never get any children, a family only when I'm lucky (a few ttempts didn't work out), and so I'm jealous about those who got everything I never could get.

But I have one advantage opver everyone else : My spirituality. In that field, I'm still lightyea´rs ahead. I have learned to be humble, I'm learning to "let go". Materialistic things don't mean much to me.

And when the end of my life might come, I guess that I'll be prepared, then. I do hope so.

My resilience lies in part with my spirituality. And in my mental strength.

I don't have the strength of a fit body,

but I have the strength of a fit spirit. Through hard work.

It has never been easy.

Therefore I'm jealous about those for whom things were indeed easy.

I do know my problems and my "shadows". And this knowledge alone (among other things) makes me different.

I went through the darkness, that's why I am able to appreciate the light.

Because online there are no repercussions like there are in the real world. While a jerk might curb his tongue on the street for fear of gettting the crap beat out of him for being a douchebag, online they might get a mute or a ban if whoever is supposed to be moderating decides to actually do so.

 

No sense of responsibility makes for ******tery all around.

This is a huge one I find online

Many people (specifically in online gaming now) act atrociously while online

but you just know if you ever met them in real life it would be "yes sir, no sir, jump how high sir" from them

But while they online and anonymous they behave like legends in their own minds.

But I will add a second theory as well

I think allot of topics get heated because online everyone (even the most ill informed and un-knowledgeable) thinks they are experts.

Take MMORPGs for example,

I find myself getting very frustrated with certain posters here because while they present this aura of knowledge, they know less about the MMORPG genre then .... (well that comparison would in fact be rather rude), but you get the point

For instance, I know for myself if someone responds with

"Well WOW did it..."

That's all I actually read of their post because its the same argument as telling a chef in a 5 star restaurant "Well McDonalds cooks them this way"

If my only reference of knowledge was WOW, I would stay out of conversations about MMORPGs completely as I simply would not be well enough informed to add anything valid or credible to the conversation.

Just as if my only cooking knowledge came from McDonalds, I would stay quiet and just learn from others far more knowledgeable and experienced.

Yet so many dont stay quiet and those conversations almost ALWAYS break down because of their lack of understanding or scope on topic.

In real society we accept and reward experience, knowledge, understanding

Online that's all thrown to the way side for whats most beneficial for ones own self desires

And as long as a group of players all desire same thing

This selfish and ultimately destructive line of thinking becomes viewed as the standard

So when some one who actually knows what their speaking of enters a conversation, even with the best of intentions, the borderline stupidity they are assaulted with constantly eventually breaks them down and turns them aggressive or even hostile.

And soon as that happens a whole horde of trolls appear to pick pick pick away at the poster until they lose it .

As is stated in the first point, in real life, in person they would never behave in such a way. But online they think its acceptable behavior because in their minds everyone does it. And its not just the standard trolls who are obvious, some poster posting blatantly false statements over and over and calling them "the new revolution" or other such nonsense just as bad because its false incorrect assumptions gathered from twisting the reported article in ways it was never meant to be twisted (you also see this all the time in politics and see it break down into rage just as often).

So when you have someone who knows what their speaking of trying to convince posters whose only desire is to argue, no matter how idiotic their argument is, its only a matter of time till it breaks down. And sadly, more often then not, that's what you get online in gaming forums. It might be through being other right rude, it might be throw passive aggressive posting where everything the poster posts sounds and reads nice but is a pack of BS. The end result is always the same sadly. There is only so much one can put up with before they shift to more aggressive posting styles with a far shorter fuse.

I have a fridge magnet on my fridge from Big Bang Theory and I think Sheldon said it best in regards to modern online behavior in forums

"people are stupid, and that makes me sad"

trolling someone or being rude to someone that has a different opinion is as trivial as saying the usual platitudes when you buy bread.

it's just the way it is.

don't know why would anyone be so sensitive about it

don't know why would anyone be so sensitive about it

Only people who lack sensitivity wonder I assume.

It's like Hooligans wonder why people are so scared about them just having just a bit "fun".

People are rude on the internet because they can be.

And "communities" aren't rude, individual people are rude.

Because online there are no repercussions like there are in the real world. While a jerk might curb his tongue on the street for fear of gettting the crap beat out of him for being a douchebag, online they might get a mute or a ban if whoever is supposed to be moderating decides to actually do so.

Someone calls me a dirty indian in person, I have to worry about getting their blood on my shirt. Someone calls me a dirty indian online, I have to worry about punching a random co-worker and getting their blood on my shirt.

Why do people always feel the need to be victims? The world is a cruel mistress. Cry about it.

(Sarcasm)

Code switching, I think, is the reason you might look into.

IRL, I am not a very strong person. Stubborn when I'm right, but I have learned through school that even everyone else is wrong, I need to just shut up and not comment anymore. Hell, I spend most of my time when dealing with volatile topics just playing the "Politically Correct" role.

IRL, if someone insults my intelligence, I just shut up and do something else. Growing up, I got into the habit of rambling to try and "spew" my thoughts before I got interrupted by someone else (alright, my parents), because that always happened. And then I get told that I shouldn't interrupt them. always loved that part. And I'm not even introverted.

Online, however, I can type out my words, look at them and see where I ramble. I can take out the rambling part and get to the point, anecdote, or whatever I was saying.

Online, I can say exactly what I mean to say.

Online, I can post my opinion on a forum (like here), without ostracizing myself from my work/family/local social networks.

But I think most of it is code switching. We don't have to seek approval from people we don't know, and will likely never cross paths with in real life, so we can say what is really on our minds here.

I don't think people are being more rude on the internet. I think they are being more themselves, and forget that even online there are still those social landmines. Spread out further, and with less repercussions, but they are still there.

Meh, rambling a bit there. Too bad I can't be interrupted in text format. But in this text format, I can clearly state what I mean. IRL, I'm socially awkward when not in the little nerd niche I belong to.

Code switching, I think, is the reason you might look into.

 

IRL, I am not a very strong person. Stubborn when I'm right, but I have learned through school that even everyone else is wrong, I need to just shut up and not comment anymore. Hell, I spend most of my time when dealing with volatile topics just playing the "Politically Correct" role.

 

IRL, if someone insults my intelligence, I just shut up and do something else. Growing up, I got into the habit of rambling to try and "spew" my thoughts before I got interrupted by someone else (alright, my parents), because that always happened. And then I get told that I shouldn't interrupt them. always loved that part. And I'm not even introverted...

You know, as I've gotten older I've started to realize there are a LOT of people who think this way. I couldn't understand this mentality at first. (And you should hear the talk I had with my oldest daughter about "cyber bullying ). I've mentioned before that I was from Orange Mound (one of the most dangerous neighborhoods) in Memphis TN (which last time I checked was the 3rd most dangerous city in the USA). Here if you insult someone you'd better be ready to fight. You'd also better pray his squad (gang) doesn't jump in. If you win that fight, you'd better be strapped cause chances are somebody gonna pull a gun. This was my life in high school. You avoided getting bullied by proving to everybody that you were just as crazy as he was. When the internet became available for the masses, you still didn't get mouthy. Chances were the same folks you were talking to in chat rooms were from tha same city. Now the net is so "mainstream" that ppl feel safe hiding behind a screen. So they're not afraid to say what's really on their minds. Especially on forums like this one...where you know tha person you beefing with is in Europe somewhere.

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/000/325/699/4fc.jpg

that explains everything

First off, I took the time to read through this topic and I liked the answers I saw. Gratz for the cool topic OP.

Now, IMO, the main factor is the anonimity, as plenty of people have stated. Sometimes, people are already douchebags IRL but they simply choose not to show it. Whether they feel it's something that can make others look down on them or because they're simply hypocrites.

Some people may appear to be the nicest IRL, and they act like absolute pr***s here. Why? Because they can, and maybe deep down, that's who they truly are.

When I see internet fights, no matter how much some of the claims piss me off, I try to stay out. I only ever post if a certain post/claim really gets to me, somehow. However, on positive topics, I try to help whenever I can.

I don't know, I'm equally rude to people irl that I would be rude to online, I've insulted and taunted people bigger and probably stronger than me, I've taken a few hits and encourage them to do it, doesn't even hurt.

In fact I wish I knew where half the people I play with and against online were, the ability to go right said person and kick their *** for what ever reason, especially some of the people on these forums.