Been there done that...
Issue was to start once, and most of puggers simply boot out tank in 156s (what I was at least crafting myself).
Had to change 3 guilds until find proper one (no elitists behavior but still some OPs and support).
Now have more gear that I know what to do with... over whole legacy.
It is still not correct for tanks to have half of their gear crapped, do you support the idea half DPS gear to have absorption on it?
And PvP ... if you are not in it you will need at least 2 weeks or some relaxants to eat all that crap that new player at 55 receive in PvP.
I was exclusively pugging on 2 fresh dinged 55`s and capped both their weeklies worth of elites and ultimates. Granted, they are both DPS, but never been kicked. I also saw poor tanks that gone afk and didn`t know tactics for lvl 50 operations - they still weren`t kicked. People were more than willing to help, so I have no idea why you are having this problem. Hell, they even let me in DP and DF with 140 rated gear! And if that bridge datacron wouldn`t have been so sweet I even would have made it out of there alive
As for PvP, I openly announced that I am not geared, so I will play support only and guard duties ONLY if I am supported by at least one more player - didn`t get flak, got guarded nicely and generally I did what I could, with what I had at my disposal. Nothing could ask for more and it was not asked.
Maybe I am lucky, but I am never part of those horror stories and I do play a bit. I am beginning to think I am missing on game content