Keep up the good work, and try to reason with bad group members. If reason and logic doesn't work, stop taunting stuff off of them. If they want to ignore the adds killing the healer so they can fight you for aggro on the bosses, stop taunting.
When they ask you why you didn't taunt, just say "Blood for the Blood God! Skulls for the Skull Throne!" Eventually they'll learn to play better, or learn to love dying.
Poor behavior on the part of others doesn't excuse poor behavior on our part.
To the original poster...I know it is difficult to remain calm when people are insulting you but I would suggest trying anyway. If your group wipes and a member criticizes your play, just calmly ask them how to improve on what you did. That does one of two things. First, if your accuser actually know what they are doing, you are about to learn something. Second, if your accuser doesn't know what they are doing and are just playing the blame game, they will have nothing to offer and their own poor play will be exposed for what it is. At least then you know you can safely ignore them while doing your best.
A couple of days ago I queued as both damage and healing on my level 24 Telekinetics Sage. Group Finder matches me with a group in the healer role. No problem. I've done it before, right? Nope! I have terrible trouble keeping our tank above 50% health and we even wipe very early on in the Flashpoint. I figure it is my fault. One of the DPS asks why it seemed like no one was getting healed. I reply that I was having trouble healing our tank, not sure why. I was trying, but didn't have time and resources to heal DPS as well. The tank laughs and quits the group, so our DPS takes over as tank and we get another DPS from groupfinder. Smooooth sailing from then on. After the Flashpoint is done, the DPS-gone-tank explains that our original tank was very poorly geared and was very soft. His words, "After I thought about it, no one could have healed that tank at this level."
You might find the same sort of thing: you originally blame yourself and try to learn what's up, but then find out that it is others' poor play that is putting to much pressure on you. Groups are teams. It isn't always obvious who the weak link is, but I almost always assume it is me to start. It makes for a less contentious atmosphere and more fun.