I couldn't agree more. I used to play EVE and I had spent months collecting enough cash to purchase the skills and equipment necessary for a battleship. I thought hey I'm pretty BA now let me ask the corp(guild) if I can run some pvp with them. They said sure! Well to my suprise i was not even close to being a bad ***. My Battleship was destroyed by a small cruiser within seconds- SECONDS! 6 months worth of work permenantly GONE in SECONDS! I immediately activated my clone (There are no respawns if you don't have a clone that has a higher skill point threshold than the current amount of skill points you have you lose some of your hard earned skill points) and jumped into my battle cruiser. Once again I got popped with in mere seconds. At that point the keys Alt and F4 were the last two key strokes that game saw from me.
Like you and Callaron, I don't think this is the game for me either. I don't mind investing some money in a game I enjoy, but not to the tune of thousands upon thousands, and especially like you say, to lose it in a matter of seconds.
The heartbreak would be enough to make me stop. It would be too painful. I get attached to my little avatars and belongings and losing them in a snap of the fingers...holds no appeal for me.