1. Queue up for for 55HMFP with 2 guildies (damage and healer) with me tanking on my shadow
and left with my guildies following me, accepting the 15 min lockout.
You could have vote-kicked him in that circumstance -- instead you say you let him get a free pass.
The second story is pretty much the same.
A swift vote-to-kick and ignore is the appropriate response in both cases, if it happened the way you describe. A clueless dps is pretty easy to replace; even if you use a DPS companion while you wait for a pop, it will work just fine for trash, and even for many FP bosses.