This really, really, really needs to be fixed. I'm really hating it. Doing HM S&V last night and saw it happen multiple times. Very annoying and getting closer to /unsub and /uninstall.
However... none of your concerns, I feel, are very valid when applied to the HM 55 FP's. I don't do the FP's anymore as it's not giving me any ugprades anymore, but the handful of times I pugged it, everything went fine. So when you say, "most pugs" I think you're over generalizing. There are some pugs who can't handle it. I've seen that in Vanilla 50 HM's and, unfortunately, it's unavoidable in any LFG tool in a MMO.