That's a good point. Darn you hind sight!
It was pretty smooth on the whole, but the pacing of the duel seemed a little inconsistent. I think that once you describe a combatant as "pushing the offensive" you want to show the results of that somehow, otherwise the effect is lost when two duelists are just switching the "offensive" back and forth without a tangible outcome.
The "No" is kind of characteristic of Star Wars (it's in almost every movie lol ), so I felt that it fit.
Oh, I realized that and expected a powerful reaction. The cliched "Big NO" is just kind of hard to take seriously, maybe it's just me but it feels overly melodramatic, almost typical of fiction.
As an aside, your settings are usually quite interesting, with just enough detail to build a good mental image.
Edit: I already have the next installment partially written and, looking back at this one, it is much better imo.