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Aurbere's Avatar

03.26.2013 , 07:57 PM | #50
Quote: Originally Posted by Ventessel View Post
As a reflection on the duel itself, overall it worked fairly well, but from paragraph to paragraph, the pacing felt a little bit choppy at times.
Yeah, I was afraid of that, but I think it worked well for my first time writing something akin to that.

In a fight, once you've closed with the enemy, it's usually a fight to the finish, disengaging can be extremely difficult unless your adversary also pulls back at the same time. Working unarmed attacks into a lightsaber duel is nice, however I think you used the same elbow strike in the earlier duel with the Master.
I did didn't I? Taking your comments into consideration, I'll modify each duel slightly.

I did like the quick turn the duel took, although I'm always hesitant to have a character give a "Big No" after their friends are killed. The reaction people usually have is either silence, refusal to accept that they're dead yet, or else they scream expletives at the enemy and just generally get pissed off. Depending on their discipline and training, some people empty their magazines in short order, while more disciplined troops will just fight on. It's after the battle that it really hits you who you've lost.
Well, the two Twi'leks are twin brothers and share a special bond, so The Shadow's death hit The Assassin pretty hard. The "No" was kind of involuntary.
Added Chapter 66 to The Shadows Fall
"Your only hope to survive is to give in to the rage boiling within you, to acknowledge the Dark Side you deny, and tap into it!"--Darth Tyranus