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Ventessel
03.26.2013 , 05:30 PM | #49
As a reflection on the duel itself, overall it worked fairly well, but from paragraph to paragraph, the pacing felt a little bit choppy at times.

In a fight, once you've closed with the enemy, it's usually a fight to the finish, disengaging can be extremely difficult unless your adversary also pulls back at the same time. Working unarmed attacks into a lightsaber duel is nice, however I think you used the same elbow strike in the earlier duel with the Master.

I did like the quick turn the duel took, although I'm always hesitant to have a character give a "Big No" after their friends are killed. The reaction people usually have is either silence, refusal to accept that they're dead yet, or else they scream expletives at the enemy and just generally get pissed off. Depending on their discipline and training, some people empty their magazines in short order, while more disciplined troops will just fight on. It's after the battle that it really hits you who you've lost.
The Heir to ChaosAdded Chapter Sixteen-- 17 APR 2013
“People sleep peaceably in their beds at night only because rough men stand ready to do violence on their behalf.” ~ George Orwell