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Aurbere
03.25.2013 , 07:04 PM | #44
Quote: Originally Posted by Ventessel View Post
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That is somewhat true. I'm dealing with a similar issue in my own story, which is set after the YV Wars. Rather than just engage in brinkmanship with the more overpowered characters, however, I'm focusing on developing characters who use nonlinear methods to engage people more powerful than themselves.

I see it as more of a mental chess game, where obviously the titans in the Jedi Order; Luke, Jaina, Jacen, etc. could crush their enemies... if only they could find them! It's a little bit of classic cloak and dagger, hitting at the defenseless allies to infuriate the powerful Force users.
I really do enjoy cloak and dagger stories, and your story is looking very good.

Quote:
Ah, by slow I didn't mean that they lacked action, per se. Rather it was more that the plot developed along fairly straight lines, and I found myself skimming ahead to see if things took a turn. Once it became obvious that a prison escape was planned, it would have been more interesting to see it develop faster, or at least to have other, more complex plot lines develop alongside it so that they created dramatic tension as the escape drew imminent.
Well, if it is tension you want, then that's what I'll give you. However, this installment wasn't meant for tension. It is a set-up for the next installment.



Chapter 21


Csilla- Csaplar- Commerce Center

Jaina Solo and Kyle Katarn stood in the shadows under an outstretched balcony in the Commerce Center of Csilla's capital city of Csaplar. The capital of Csilla was enclosed in a large shield to protect the city from the cold. The city was well-heated, forcing the two Jedi to remove their cold weather gear and don their traditional Jedi robes.

The Commerce Center was deserted. Csaplar had gone dark, waiting for the sun to rise for a new day. The two Jedi took this advantage to scout the city, searching for The Master's agent.

Kyle Katarn pointed west toward the towering structure of the spaceport. "Check the spaceport. I'll look around the commerce areas." He whispered to her.

Jaina nodded in agreement, and headed west for the spaceport, keeping to the shadows.

*** *** *** ***


Csilla- Csaplar- Commerce Center

The Assassin and his brother stood atop the Main Commerce Building of the Commerce Center. The Shadow leaned over the edge, watching the female Jedi Jaina Solo leave her partner and head for the spaceport.

"Good." The Assassin mused. "Defeating them will be much easier now that they have split up." He pointed The Shadow to Jaina Solo. "Take her when you see fit."

The Shadow studied her movements, watching her duck into an alleyway at the southwest side of the Commerce Center. "Very well. I'll take her." He leapt off of the Commerce building onto an adjacent roof, running across rooftops to follow Jaina.

The Assassin turned his attention to Kyle Katarn. He had heard of the veteran Jedi Master's skills in battle and greatly wished to see if the stories were true. He saw Kyle retreat into an alley at the northern side of the Commerce Center. He moved to follow, using his heightened night vision to keep an eye on Kyle as he followed him on the rooftops.

*** *** *** ***


Csilla- Csaplar- Spaceport

From the shadows of the spaceport, The Shadow studied Jaina Solo as she examined The Master's Defender-class shuttle. He could so easily kill her now, but the stories of her skill made him curious. He felt the urge to satisfy that curiosity. It was too great to ignore. He emerged from the shadows and cast his shroud of darkness off, revealing himself to Jaina Solo's senses.

Jaina quickly spun around, activating her blue lightsaber. She brought it in front of herself in defense. "So you're The Master's agent!"

The Shadow chuckled as he removed his black cloak. "No. But he has sent me to make sure you don't interrupt his plans." The Shadow gripped his double-bladed lightsaber. "You have been played, Jedi. The Master deceived you. He maneuvered you into a position to remove you."

"This may come as a surprise to you, but we expected this!" She said triumphant.

The door to the hangar opened, revealing Kyle Katarn. The Jedi Master activated his own blue lightsaber and entered the hangar.

The Shadow activated his lightsaber, its blade orange. He felt the presence of his brother as the two Jedi grouped together, lightsabers raised.

The Assassin appeared, standing on top of the Defender. He leapt down, activating his red double-bladed lightsaber, prepared to strike them both down. The two Jedi leapt to the side, Jaina landing to his right, Kyle to his left.

The Assassin locked his gaze on his brother's eyes. The Shadow saw bloodlust in his brother's eyes. The Assassin was ready for the kill.
Added Chapter 29 to The Shadows Fall
"You felt it; the power of hate. The power of the Dark Side. Your eyes are opened. You see now. The power burns more brightly, stronger on the Dark Side. Despite what the Council had taught you, you now know the truth."- Count Dooku