Why are females less likely to be incredibly annoying when they hit on you? And why are they more deserving of being let down gently than annoying men?
I can't speak for anyone else, of course, but that's absolutely not the case for me. Male, female or variable, annoying people are annoying. I personally would try to let anyone down gently, annoying or not, but my characters aren't always so empathic. Heck, my SI would let someone down as scathingly as possible just to see their confidence wither. She'd have a great (though not healthy) time with Doc.
Having said that Doc didn't annoy me (or my JK) in the slightest. Amused the heck out of me, actually, because he thinks he's so very, incredibly smooth and he's actually anything but. My JK wouldn't go there for any reason but she thinks he's (unintentionally) hilarious.
In a way, though, I think the female love interests have been written as somewhat... less potentially annoying than the men. I can imagine why someone might find several of the males irritating but not experience that kind of grating reaction to the women, and the sex of the characters may have far less to do with it than how they're written.
As for other bioware games, I more or less agree as there are very few male npc's to romance that I don't find annoying or their going to die (have to say at the end of ME3 I didn't really want fem Shepherd to survive). Even in swtor all the male npc's that are romance-able fall a little flat of the female options, in my opinion, and I'm sort of expecting all the SGR options in the future to be that way too.
I can still still dream big though...
Again, that could very well be the writers. If the writers are only interested in pursuing particular forms of characters (or only capable
of developing those characters; just as some writers can't write in more than one genre, some find it very difficult to write particular types of character convincingly) we're only going to see in-depth development for those characters (female love interests and comic foils, for example), leaving the rest to flounder a bit.
We can hope they take all of these forms of feedback into account and make sure their future developments (and/or writing teams) are balanced.