I agree with everything you have written, I am also a reader/researcher when I play a new game. I devour everything I can on the class/mechanics constantly trying to pick up new things. It's why I decided to write a guide for Assassin levelling because there just wasn't enough solid information around. On the way to 50 I have read and re-read the tanking forum over and over to see what I need to be aiming for at 50.
That said, I think what it stems down to is that there are plenty of posts that give you the stat numbers to aim at but the ones telling you how to get there are few and far between. I definitely have seen some saying to use "this type" or "that type" of mod etc but in a largely customisable gear setting it's easy for the new tank to get lost, especially if he doesnt read as much as others. It's not necessarily that they are too lazy to read, it's that they may just not comprehend HOW to achieve what they have read.
In Rift, they had a stat called "Toughness" which once you hit a certain cap you became uncrittable in hard modes. The goal for a tank obviously was to hit this cap above all others, and then focus on the rest of his stats. With that in mind there was a fantastic gear progression guide written that basically went along the lines of "do this particular quest at level 47, take this particular reward and bank it. Then do this other quest at level 49, take that reward and bank it. At 50 buy these pieces of crafted gear and you have the required toughness. Then do this and this hardmode for these pieces to replace them" etc etc. It was an easy reference for new tanks to be able to gun straight for the correct gear to get them started and the customisation came later.
I realise that may not be completely applicable in SWTOR because there isn't one particular stat that must be met, and the gear is all customisable. I also understand that you get a free set of gear at level 50. What I don't know is whether that gear is enough to tank hard modes or not, or how to customise that to achieve it's best potential. I think a basic "tank gear for new assassins" guide would be a fantastic addition. It can cover which parts to use from the starter pve gear, which parts to use from the pvp gear, which items to buy from dailies and what items to buy to get the correct mods/enhancements from.
TLDR; A post/guide saying "when you hit 50 and get your free gear, wear this, this and that from this set, this and this from that set, do your dailies x amount of times and buy this and this from the daily vendors and you will be geared enough to do these HM's would be nice.
More importantly than that though, and it is missing from nearly all of the guides I've read so far, is the "why". Rally I feel it is less important to tell someone how to achieve something than it is to tell them why they want to do [fill in the blank here]. I say that because often times there is more than one way to get to a goal and often times there is a better way to get to the goal, but that almost always requires knowing the goal and the why you want to get to that goal.