While I agree with several of your points, I still disagree with your seemingly interchangeable use of programming and conditioning. There's a very important difference.
"If a conditioned person can refuse to kill this is why some other conditioning kicks in and takes control, like "killing a man is wrong"." I disagree with this too. Take anyone who has murdered, not for profit or gain (Jack the Ripper etc.). They were all conditioned not to kill, but they chose to ignore that. There was no other conditioning kicking in saying "killing is ok". They simply decided to ignore everything they'd previously been told was right and wrong. Someone who's conditioned can do that, something that's programmed cannot.
What was the reason for Jack to bypass all previous conditionings and start to kill people? Every action has a reaction. Everything in life has a reason. Was it a mental problem or the trauma he had in his childhood? When the reasons come to light answers come with them. Even Jack the Ripper had his reasons to kill. Those reasons overridden his previous programming.
Now this is infinite loop as you see
What ever you say here, I give a similar answer. And what ever answer I give you, you'll give me a similar response. This is the way we see things, that's all