My call has been escalted to a level 3 specialist! Only well, there isn't one available right now, so please, call back in five hours from now and we'll get someone on the line who can help you......
So of course, the person I talked to last night put no notes on my account and I was forced to go through my entire spiel/history/answer the same stupid questions again today. I forced the new CSR to give me ticket number this time around. Sat on hold for about an hour, finally got another live body. Yes, they are indeed experiencing a global issue which they're working diligently to fix. Yes, there isn't a problem with my card(no ****). Yes, there is a work around. Simply reply back to an email they're going to send me(still haven't received it 10 minutes later) with an attached photo ID and in 24-48 hours they'll be able to again process my preferred payment method.
When queried the gentleman on the phone did not have an ETA as to when they may have a global fix in place.