The Short Fic Weekly Challenge Thread!
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01.01.2013 , 05:42 PM |
: Alternate Perspectives
: Jurial and Master Yuon
Spoilers for Jedi Consular Tython story arc, as well as intro to Act One. And hey, double-posting!
I really didn’t write this in response to the discussion already going on in the thread. Really. It’s been bouncing around since I saw the prompt. In point of fact, this was the mindset I imagined for Yuon when I wrote the original piece, even if I hadn’t written it out in specific detail at that time.
It’s very hard for me to justify the Jedi non-attachment policy. I think for myself it comes down to the parallel to monasteries. Ideally, people who make that level of commitment to a deity or belief system do so of their own free will. In Star Wars, Force-sensitives of either faction don’t get that choice. There may be good reasons for it, but it’s also where the analogy breaks down.
He was her last padawan. She’d known that even when she chose him as a student. This chapter of her life was drawing to a close, whether to the Force or some other end, she was as yet unsure. But she knew in her heart she would teach no others after him.
And there was still so much to teach! So much knowledge in the archives! So much history, both on this world and others! The Fount of Rajivari tantalizingly close! Would there be enough time, she wondered, to share it all? Was she selfish to hope there would be? Was she pushing too hard, trying to to make the most of the limited time she had remaining?
Thus, Master Yuon read the arguments in Jurial’s datapad with growing concern. This was a distraction. She hadn’t planned on addressing these issues. In truth, perhaps she hoped Jurial would not question the Jedi on this particular doctrine, or at least not right now. Or not ever. It was so much easier when a padawan accepted their master’s word as final.
Master Yuon suppressed a smile. She hadn’t chosen Jurial because she expected an easy pupil. She chose him because he did question. Everything. Always. His hunger for answers and knowledge was not the same as hers--he was more philosophical, while her interests were largely historical--but it drove him the same way.
So, really, she should have expected he would take a larger view of attachment that the merely personal. The issue always came up, sooner or later. It was wishful thinking to hope Jurial might never find someone to love.. All of her other padawans managed to do so. She had herself, on more than one occasion. The issue at hand was dealing with that powerful emotion. Master Yuon set down the datapad, “Who is she?” she asked.
“I don’t understand, Master,” Jurial said.
“Is it a he then? The object of your affections?” Master Yuon asked.
He seemed so distressed. He wasn’t in trouble, or not yet at any rate. Perhaps he hadn’t expected she’d understand. Perhaps it was the first time he felt this way about another being. “It really doesn’t matter either way, padawan,” Master Yuon said, handing back the datapad.
Jurial took it, “I’m…confused.”
Master Yuon sat back in her chair, “Every Jedi must come to terms with the doctrine of non-attachment. Most confront it as padawans, as you are now. You find yourself attracted to someone. I presume this person returns your feelings?”
Jurial stared at the datapad containing his arguments. “There is no one, Master, I was trying to examine the issue from an outside perspective. As we are encouraged to do.”
Of course. Such an attentive padawan. In truth, he did have some very good points here, something to be discussed separately, once he dealt with the personal aspects. “I will admit, your arguments are more well-reasoned than most. You’ve thought through this really quite well, and I must commend you on that. But Jurial,” she leaned forward and steepled her fingers, “I reiterate. Every Jedi goes through exactly what you are going through now. Every one. Every one then questions the doctrine of non-attachment. Every one argues against it. Because it must be different for your case. I assure you, Jurial, it is not. You must decide which is more important to you, your commitment to the Order, a commitment not lightly put aside, or your feelings for this other person.”
“Master Yuon,” Jurail objected, “That’s not at all why I brought my concerns to you.”
Master Yuon sighed. A distraction. At such a critical time. “Of course not. When you are ready to confide in me, I will be here. In the meantime, I’d like you to study the writings of Master Simikarty and Master Odan-Urr. In addition, I’d like you to examine the Collected Arguments of Masters Vrook Lamar and Vandar Tokare. I believe these texts will prove enlightening.” He would like these works. Master Odan-Urr in particular was a great philosopher; Jurial would appreciate his arguments. These ancient scholars continued to provide guidance to the order, long after they were gone. She found comfort in them through her own crises.
She hoped Jurial would find in them what he needed. Or a start at least. There was a nagging sense in the back of her mind that even this was the will of the Force. That he needed her guidance on this issue now, because she might not be able to provide it later. That...was something she could not deal with right now. Not right now. These writings would speak for her when she was no longer able. She would point the way for him, like Rajivari’s First Blade.
Jurial stood and bowed, “Yes, Master Yuon.”
Yuon’s lips tightened into a thin line. He liked study, but he was not happy with her assignment. She could hardly blame him. “Jurial, this is a serious matter. Many Jedi have been led to the dark side through what they perceive as true love. But this seemingly positive emotion is also at the root of jealousy and possessiveness, of blindness and irrationality. The doctrines prohibiting attachment as well as the others you question exist for very good reasons. Meditate on those reasons.”
“Yes, Master Yuon.”
“And Jurial?” So, so many questions. She was never more aware of how much knowledge she wished to impart, and how little time she might have left to do it.
“Do keep an open mind.”
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