The only people at fault for you and your friend(s) not getting on the same server are you and your friend(s).
You have computers, so you could e-mail each other. One of you could call another when they got in and said "Here's a list of servers that I like. Which do you want to play on?"
Again - keep in mind that not everyone playing SWtOR has played an MMO before and will have no idea about the importance of choosing a 'Server'. They also probably haven't thought of doing any reading about the mechanics of MMO's. They want to be Han Solo - not a law clerk.