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SpoeMeister's Avatar

11.30.2012 , 08:43 AM | #21
Wow... Just wow...

You know what is amazing? The description was always so detailed, I really felt I was there... The excitement, the passion, and even an action scene for Mako.... Your stories are truly evolving and I think you're putting more and more thought in background stories as well.

Not only that, where most fic writers would really overdo it on the "internal struggle theme" on both Layne and Raia, you really kept it clean and sober. Just enough to feel where they're coming from, but not so much that it feels obligated... You've showed this talent already with Apoc's brother and now again you have shown some really good empathy skills.

If I do have to critique something, it would be merely on format instead of content: when Raia is reading the fourth letter (which is written in Italic) there is a part where she looks at her wedding picture, which shouldn't be italic as it describes an action. But this is probably just a small error that can easily be fixed ;-)
Everything will be OK in the end. If it's not OK, it's not yet the end.

Spivak Legacy (ToFN)
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