I assume you get dark side points for wilful disobedience.
Maybe, but I don't see why disobedience would necessarily be Dark, either. If I were told to kill someone in cold blood and refused, my refusal wouldn't be a Dark act. One could make the argument that the Jedi Code is oppressive since it effectively forbids emotion--a vital component of life--so wouldn't disobeying the Code in this instance actually be a Light act?
No, emotional attachment in itself is not Dark. However... it leads to Passion. And if you know your Sith, you know how they feel about Passion. (I'm not talking about horncanine lust alone here so bear with me please)
The Sith feed on emotion; they encourage emotion to be used in negative ways to acquire power. Before the prequels we never had any indication from Obi-wan or Yoda that all emotion is bad; only those more likely to lead to Dark acts. But even then, a properly trained Jedi can make good judgment despite their emotional state.
"Fear leads to anger, Anger leads to hate, Hate leads to Suffering."
Jedi are taught to control their fear so it doesn't progress to anger, so it doesn't progress to suffering.
Sith would encourage the progression.
If you love someone you will always _react_ when something threatens them, which gives emotions a leeway into your otherwise calm, serene mindscape to create quite a lot of havoc. I'm guessing _that_ is why it's DS points - if you attach yourself you immediately open yourself up to a battle between emotions and sense, between doing your duty and abandoning it to protect the one who means the most to you.
And yet we see Jedi exhibit emotion all the time, in the movies, in the EU novels, and even in SW:TOR. Obi-Wan when Qui-Gon is killed, Kip Fisto smiles after he destroys a few droids, Mace Windu as he fights Palpatine, Obi-Wan when Yoda orders him to stop Anakin, and on and on and on.
It's extremely evident that emotion and attachment is commonly practiced. The Jedi even set things up for attachment in their Master-Apprentice relationships.
The difference between Jedi and Sith are that Jedi teach serenity and how to make good decisions regardless of emotions, whereas the Sith teach to focus on emotion when making decisions; to use it as motivation.
Both my Knight and Consular are in loving relationships with companions and I earned ZERO Dark Side points.
Sounds pretty inconsistent, then. If your Jedi Knight beds or becomes "sisters" with the Twi'lek Matriarch on Tython, I'm pretty sure that alone gives you Dark Side points.
You are most likely thinking of the two Padawan in love on Tython? Here is the rub... it isn't that they are in love and seeing each other that is wrong. It is that they are obsessed (at least she is) and they threat and bribe you into lying to the Jedi Masters to hide their more and more "Dark" relationship. The game got it right.
Sort of. My argument to that would be that the dialogue options suck. There should be a way to leave the conversation before it gets to the point of them offering a bribe. An option to let them go but warn her of her attitude would also be nice because, yeah... she's definitely exhibiting some nasty behaviors as a result of their love.