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bright_ephemera
11.24.2012 , 11:36 PM | #357
Sorry for the absence of event-relevant updates, but here's something, at least!

On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.


SCORPIO has been standing by the pet cage, consulting with KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING within.
SCORPIO: I had hoped that the mechanics of your walker would show me something new and interesting that may improve my next iteration. However, it mostly appears to be a – please hold, searching for the term – a fail pile.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: I've made improvements.
SCORPIO: I don't believe you.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: You wouldn't be laughing if my stuffed-rancor plan hadn't failed.
SCORPIO: That was, in fact, pathetic. Bonethrasher completely failed to damage anyone.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: He took out Rusk's stuffed animal squad.
SCORPIO: And promptly got snuggled into submission by Kira and Elara.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: I've had about enough of this.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING yells incoherently. His seat sprouts mechanical legs and presses upward toward the pet cage lid.
SCORPIO: This one appears unable to adapt to the fact that he is only going to bruise the top of his head. Again.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING, propelled by his walker, pushes the top of the pet cage off. His walker leaps out to land on the floor in a threatening pose.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Bruise, yes. Escape, also yes. I found some mechanic contractors that aren't terrible at their jobs.
BABY RUSK: You can't defeat us this time. I got a new squad.
BABY RISHA: Rusk…is that a stuffed bormu?
BABY RUSK: Yes.
BABY RISHA: What's it gonna do, chew grass at the enemy?
BABY RUSK: Every little bit helps.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING stomps. A spike shoots out of the floor, tossing BABY RUSK into the air.
T7-01: Karagga = stop that // floor = had to be repaired after the last ops boss
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: These petty matters do not concern me.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING sprays oil all over the floor.
SCORPIO: Intriguing.
T7-01: SCORPIO = not helping
BABY RISHA: That's really not good for the moving parts, Karagga.
BABY PIERCE: All right, guys, I finally have an excuse to break out the good stuff.
BABY PIERCE runs over to his cubbyhole and produces a number of contraband toy dart blasters. He rapidly distributes them to BABIES RUSK, RISHA, and QUINN.
T7-01: Blasters = not allowed
BABY PIERCE: Got any better way of dealing with this guy?
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING shoots a very small flame. It doesn't do much.
BABY PIERCE: Uh…what was that?
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Hang on, I've got this.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING shoots a marginally larger flame, along with a fan of missiles. The missiles obliterate BABY RUSK's stuffed bormu and the rest of his squad.
BABY RUSK: Darn it!
The remainder of the children continue firing at KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING. The occasional floor spike jabs at T7-01 but has little effect. The oil slick KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING laid down burns fiercely. BABY QUINN does not move from where he has been firing.
BABY PIERCE: Quinn? Quinn. Much though I love seeing you self-destruct, you can stop standing in the fire now.
BABY QUINN: I do more damage this way.
BABY PIERCE: Only until you fall over.
BABY QUINN: I'm not listening to you, Pierce. I'm busy pew-pewing.
BABY PIERCE: We have got to find you something else to do in fights, because this really isn't working for you.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING throws out another round of oil.
BABY RISHA: Quit it! You're going to strip every gear you've got if you just dump all your lubricants like that!
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: The walker only needs to last until you all are crushed.
BABY RISHA: And who's gonna fix it after, huh?
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: …The walker only needs to last until you all are crushed and I make it to a reliable mechanic's shop.
BABY RISHA: Nuh-uh. I can't stand to watch you –
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING's walker lays out another spray of oil.
BABY RISHA: STOP DOING THAT! No more dropping oil!
BABY QUINN, falling over because he's on fire: Yes, please stop.
BABY PIERCE: Y'know, Quinn, you could probably have –
BABY QUINN, bitterly: Rub it in, why don't you.
BABY PIERCE: Don't mind if I do.
BABY RISHA: Anyway. I mean it, Karagga. No more dropping oil.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: But that's half my schtick. I drop oil, I set it on fire, that sets you all on fire, I win the fight.
BABY RISHA: It's incredibly reckless abuse of the moving parts in that engineering work of art you're currently asking us to smash. I won't allow it.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Well, too bad.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING's walker lays down another spray of oil.
SCORPIO: Karagga. You have to do what Risha says.
BABY RISHA: It's true. Look on the bright side. I'll give you eleventy billion credits after you do what I want.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: That is the single least believable statement I have heard all year, but clearly I must comply now.
A tiny mouse droid flings itself out of the pet cage and zooms up behind BABY RISHA. It explodes under the hem of her jacket, scorching it.
BABY RISHA: HEY!
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: You didn't say I couldn't do that.
BABY RUSK, clutching the smoking husk of his stuffed bormu: Come on, I know we can do this.
BABY RUSK charges KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING, vaults over one of his floor spikes, and swings the charred stiff bormu at him really hard.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Ow! What are you doing?
BABY RUSK: Defeating you. For the Republic!
BABY QUINN, fallen over because he couldn't be bothered to get out of the fire: For the Empire, you dolt.
BABY RUSK: Nuh-uh. Republic.
BABY QUINN: Empire.
BABY RUSK: Maybe if you hadn't stood in the fire you would get to fight for the Empire.
BABY RUSK hits KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING again.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Ow! Ow! I yield! Except, not really, because, you know, my name and all. But stop hitting me!
BABY RUSK: Go back to the pet cage. No more trying to blow us up or burn us.
BABY PIERCE: Shouldn't we kill him or something?
T7-01: Killing = not nice
BABY PIERCE: Trying to blow us up isn't nice either.
BABY QUINN: Oh, you're one to talk.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: Next week? You guys are so dead.
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