Thread: When I Wake
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11.21.2012 , 09:22 PM | #182
Quote: Originally Posted by MilaniGrey View Post
Om nom nom Torian fade to black.. om nom..

Quote: Originally Posted by iamthehoyden View Post
This tracking down of children and grandchildren has me curious/worried about how far she'll go. Cause she's capable of anything and certainly motivated enough.
Just have to see

Quote: Originally Posted by iamthehoyden View Post
Torian and Gault - made me chuckle. Ooo those two hate each other so good, lol.
I like them hating each other. It's fun to write
I'm glad it made you chuckle


On Nar Shaddaa the next day...(or there abouts)

My conversation with the Sith is quick.

Tormen wants me back on the Tyrant to talk about the assault on the Chancellor and Jedi. We set course. It will take two days to arrive on the Tyrant but we'll have to spend a few hours here on Nar Shaddaa to refuel. Don't pay attention to Gault's complaints and even less to Mako's strange glee. Know there's something wrong with someone when they'd rather be in the middle of an Imperial fleet on a Sith's ship than be on a lot better and safer planet.

Hardly feel the burn of Torian's hand as he takes mine in his and leads me to our room. Because I have a feeling I am soon going home again: to Corellia. And that steals all other thoughts from my mind.

Ten or so hours later on the way to the Tyrant...

Gault and I are drinking like the old days. It feels kind of good. Almost forget how complicated things have gotten. Mako gave me half the information before. Haven't looked at it yet. She has two more days. Since Tormen called, we didn't spend more than two hours on Nar Shaddaa to fill up on fuel. Gault wasn't impressed. Moved our drinking to his room since where we used to is now Skadge's stink hole.

Gault sits on his bed, his back against the wall and his eyes on the blank wall across from him: I stare over the bed and his legs to the doorway and Mako's opposite closed door. Only been an hour and we've both made our way through two bottles of wine and Gault still hasn't mentioned what he wanted to talk to me about.

Torian wasn't happy when I told him I was going to drink with Gault. Didn't press it though. Know he'd never try and make me do anything. Smile at the memory of only an hour ago.

'Can't give you a better offer?' It feels nice to feel him brush my hair back behind my ear. He tries to stare intently into my eyes but it isn't his eyes I am looking at. When his fingers move to my chin and slowly raise my gaze from his bare torso, I smile a little.

'I'm sure you could, ner manda.' I take his hand in mine and move it away from my cheek. 'But I did cut his Nar Shaddaa vacation short.' Think I see part of a retort he doesn't want to say: I laugh and reply to it. 'I know I don't owe him anything. You have no reason to worry unless I come back with eighty more credits.'

His gentle smile shifts to his usual frown and it only makes me laugh a little more. 'Heard then?'

Never laugh this much except for when I'm with him. 'Think everyone heard it, Torian' He looks away from me. Know he only did it to protect my precious honour. 'If you don't want me to hear another one of your bonding sessions, I suggest not doing it outside my room.'

His lips twitch but he doesn't look at me. I gently turn his face to me, my fingers lightly pressing on his cheek. His skin warms them so quickly I could almost mistake it for my own warmth. 'Don't let him get to you, jate Torian.' I kiss his frowning lips gently and press my forehead against his, my legs straining to keep my feet on tip toe. 'Did like you defending my ijaat though.'

He smiles a little and tightens his grip on my hand. 'Any time, Cyare. Ratiin.' Still feel the same thrill as his lips press against mine. Really do love the honourable man in arms. Don't think I could ever get used to something so impossibly breathtaking.

I move away laughing, saying Gault's waiting for me. Stop at the doorway and look back at him as he stands where I left him. I throw him a smile. Extend my blade and hold it up, letting our dim lights shine on the surface. 'Just remember to occasionally save some for me.'

'You heard of someone called Hylo Visz?'

Gault's voice brings me out of the ending memory and I wish I as upstairs with my sleeping Mando'ad. My smile is a twitch at the corners. When Gault says her name to me, there is still the love I hear in his mumbled dreams.

'Yeah, she broke the Mando'ad blockade at Hydian Wyde. She sounded like my kind of woman.'

Gault raises a ridge of skin that I assume is the equivalent to an eyebrow and smirks at me. 'Mando'ad, eh? I see he is managing to turn my ruthless individual killer into a good little team member after all.' I raise a sceptical eyebrow at being called his.

The movement only makes his sneer wider and he continues. 'This wasn't what I meant when I said you made a lot of new friends. If I knew you were looking for a friend like that I would have offered my services a lot earlier.'

I sharply dig my elbow into his stomach and he winces and say he made the offer as soon as we met and hasn't stopped since. Think I hit the same place where Torian had. But he forgets about his teasing and smiles a little as he thinks of something far away, never responding to my comment. 'But yeah. She was quite the woman. We made that run together.'

I look at him like he was the new attraction at a circus and I'd never seen anything like it before. Knew immediately from the way he says her name. I want to know where this going. And I want to meet the woman that makes Gault turn into a real person. Guess if I could meet her, Gault wouldn't be here.

'She dropped off the radar shortly after we made the run. People think that the Hutt's were behind her disappearance but anyone who knew her knows that they would have a better chance winning a marathon.' He sighs and I think this is the first time I've seen Gault look at someone other than his own reflection with admiration and respect. 'No. She's still out there... somewhere.'

I punch Gault's shoulder a little. 'Never thought you would be love struck.'

He looks at me intently and searchingly for a second and then shrugs his shoulders, looking back to the wall. Don't think he found whatever he had looked for. 'Yeah, well. As I said, blockade was the last thing we ever did together. And there were so many credits involved.' I sneer a little. I think I know where this is going. Gault's choice between probably the only woman that could ever love him and a bag of credits? I would place my bets on the credits. Every. Time.

'When I saw the opportunity, I took off and left Hylo holding the bag. Stupid.' Gault rests his head back on the wall and it makes the same bang I had heard only a day ago. Little ironic.

Wonder how long Gault has hated himself this much for something so long ago. Guess we all have something in ourselves or past that we hate. Can never really bury or kill them; they follow us as ghosts - dark flickers in our vision; they stalk as like rakghouls as they grow and change into something vile and ugly that could never of once been a human. Can't kill a phantom and if you get too close to the rakghoul it only twists you into its own image.

'So you double-crossed your own girlfriend. Can't say I'm even slightly surprised.'

'Yeah, well, we aren't all trusty little blonde kids. And besides, when I double crossed her she wasn't my girlfriend...'

'Keep telling yourself that for another twenty years. See how it goes. Aren't you the one that told me to stop pretending even though it's easier? Seems you were talking about yourself more than me.' Yes, I did have my suspicions that there was a story like this behind Gault. And I know what I say now is true. Guess we've all got pasts. Some are just worse than others.

'Everyone has something they would leave someone else behind for. Mine just happened to be my own skin.' Words hit me cold and hard. Can't reply to him and I don't think Gault expects one. Not sure he's even entirely aware I'm here. His bottle is slipping from his hand.

Gault would leave anyone to save himself. Surprised it is himself and not credits that would do it. Guess it explains why he hasn't tried to collect my bounty. Sneer a little at myself. Should give him more credit. He's too smart to try when I could kill him in a second.

Blizz would leave us for his treasures and his old friends. Mako would leave everything to have a family. Torain would leave me for war and his brothers. Want to think there's nothing I would leave Torian for. But I don't there could be a bigger lie. I know what it is and I know it too well. I leave even myself behind when it comes to that.

Gault continues after the pause, repeating the same excuses he's probably upheld since the moment he turned and ran. 'I was young and naive...' Not the only one that has that complaint.

'And maybe a little afraid of commitment.' I chuckle at Gault. I think his mistake more stems from the latter than the former. Can't imagine Gault in a home on some planet like Ord Mantell with a family and a relatively honest job.

'I didn't know what I lost until it was gone.'

Can't laugh at that. Can't say I feel that sorry for him either. I think of almost losing Torian: how cold he was and the gun that as pointed at his head. Has one aimed for it every day yet that was so much different.

But even more than that, I think of my freedom. The freedom they stole from me for nine long years. And all the years of life that are still being taken from me. Could spent every hour of every day until my last looking for a new serum to work I wouldn't find one. Isn't stopping me from trying.

Know I need to tell Torian. Know letting him love me when I'm only going to hurt him is selfish and wrong. But I can't stop. Because it feels too good.

Gault has an associate he's been in contact with that is now looking for her for him. I really hope he finds her. Though I think she would be far from happy to see him. Don't think anyone has ever been happy to see Gault. And it seems everyone has people they want to find.

I found the person I didn't know I had been looking for. And after I get up and say good night to Gault, I return to his strong, warm arms. I only have people I know I'm looking for left. I'm so close to two of them.

'So what did the Devaronian have to say?' Torian whispers in my ear. Can tell he's been awake this whole time.

'Nothing that involved any credits.' Torian's arms tighten around me and I know I shouldn't tease him so much. 'Said a few things.' I reply again after a silence.

'When doesn't he?' I laugh quietly. Don't think a ship could be filled with people more different from each other. 'What were they?' Torian continues after a pause.

'Nosey, aren't we?' I don't need to see Torian's face to know he's frowning. 'Not my secrets to share, Torian. Don't think he'd want everyone to know there's a feeling thing under all that sleaze. Be like seeing a clean, slime free Hutt. It's not natural.' I shiver at my own imagery and clench my fists as my thoughts go to Jemba.

'Fair enough.'

'Relax, Torian. He's leaving us soon.' Don't mean to say it. Just want Torian to stop worrying.
Torian freezes and finally says 'ori'haat?'

'Ori'haat. He's got someone he wants to go see.' Don't need to turn and look at him to know he's feeling victorious. Only hope Gault really is leaving now. Guess we'll see in a few weeks.