View Single Post

bright_ephemera's Avatar


bright_ephemera
11.13.2012 , 10:54 AM | #343


On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.


LORD SCOURGE: Children.
KHEM VAL: Some misconceptions must be cleared up.
LORD SCOURGE: Yesterday the owner of Forced Companions said things that suggested that Forced Companions is, in fact, under Republic control.
M1-4X, from the toybox: Hear, hear!
LORD SCOURGE: It was a lie.
KHEM VAL: As clearly stated in our employment contracts, which are so airtight not even the lawyers of Yn and Chabosh could contest them.
M1-4X: The lawyers of the Republic could no doubt free T7-01 from these unreasonable demands and allow the enlightenment of democracy to prevail!
LORD SCOURGE: Shut up.
BABY TEMPLE: This means that Forced Companions is really the Empire's, right? Hooray!
BABY TEMPLE and BABY PIERCE high-five.
KHEM VAL: Don't be ridiculous. The Empire is better than the Republic, but neither can rival the dominion of Tulak Hord.
LORD SCOURGE: …Tulak Hord is dead, Khem.
KHEM VAL: The point is, the Sith rule here. With my help.
LORD SCOURGE: Ah. Yes, correct. The live Sith, such as myself, are the rightful rulers here.
BABY TEMPLE: But…but…as the Empire! Right?
LORD SCOURGE: No, mostly just me.
BABY PIERCE: I can work with Sith.
BABY TEMPLE: Whose side are you on!?
BABY PIERCE: The one that lets me get away with more.
M1-4X: We will never be –
BABY PIERCE runs up and tackles M1-4X, clapping a hand roughly where M1-4X's mouth might conceivably be.
M1-4X, not even slightly inconvenienced: We will never be silenced! Freedom and democracy will always carry the day!
BABY PIERCE: Huh. How do I shut you up?
M1-4X: The truth cannot be shut up!
BABY ANDRONIKOS: I'm pretty sure it can be once we figure out where your speakers are.
BABY ANDRONIKOS runs up and starts crawling over M1-4X's chassis, looking for the voice synthesizer. M1-4X makes an annoyed clicking noise and zaps BABY ANDRONIKOS with an electric shock.
BABY ANDRONIKOS: Hey! Knock it off!
BABY PIERCE snickers.
M1-4X, defensively: I'm allowed to fight for freedom.
KHEM VAL: Unfortunately, he's right. That is also in the daycare charter.
LORD SCOURGE: Forced Companions is neutral territory and M1-4X is permitted to defend liberty and justice.
KHEM VAL: We really need to renegotiate that thing, Scourge.
LORD SCOURGE: I am inclined to agree.
BABY PIERCE locates a previously unsuspected cache of small explosives in one of M1-4X's chassis compartments.
BABY PIERCE, cheerfully: Huh. I can work with neutral.
M1-4X, fidgeting uncomfortably: You should work with the Republic instead.
BABY PIERCE: The Republic never lets anybody get away with more than my other employment options would. Sorry.
LORD SCOURGE: On the other hand, Khem, I am tempted to temporarily issue an edict declaring Forced Companions Imperial territory simply to draw out the little sniper you spoke of. He sounds most amusing.
BABY TEMPLE: He's a jerk. He shot Quinn. Lots.
LORD SCOURGE: …I definitely wish to meet the little sniper. And possibly shake his hand.
KHEM VAL: Zenith is a fighter comparable to the rebels of Yn and Chabosh. Except I haven't defeated and devoured him yet.
M1-4X: And you never will, fiend!
LORD SCOURGE: Pierce, you have my permission to blow up M1-4X with the explosives you just stole from his supply cache.
BABY PIERCE: Ooh. I can work with Sith.
the Short Fic Weekly Challenge - 100+ authors to date. 2600+ stories. New prompts weekly!
Bright's Fanfic Threads
---(Ceterum autem censeo, Malavai esse delendam.)--- DELETA MALAVAI EST