I'm a fairly low key role-player, but I've had it pointed out to me time and again that you never role-play your character's story line, because it would result in every Trooper being in the same elite squad, every Bounty Hunter the big life-changing contest, and every Jedi offing the big bad guy that saves the day for everyone.Given that Troopers who so much as mention Havoc Squad in their stories, artwork, and in-game interactions are treated as outcasts during most role-playing events (at least on the two remaining RP-flagged severs, and in the RP forums) I am completely baffled why you feel that "every choice is permanent" in your interactions with your companions, seeing as every other aspect of the hard-coded story is verboten. Why would a role-player (as specified in your following points) even care what goes down in those conversations, when they have to throw out or heavily modify everything that was said during them to avoid the "My Trooper is married to Jorgen, and everyone elses' Trooper is married to Jorgen, who is clearly in 105,503 places at the same time!" scenario? If you're content to role-play that Jorgen is actually another Cathar - with another story of his own, to avoid the Havoc references - why not role-play that you two never talked about marriage?
A very eloquently written question, evidencing one of my mentioned points.
Translation: Irrespective of what you do with your companions, there is no evidence anywhere that any of your choices or interactions are reflective upon another player's perception of you or said companion, and there never will be. Consequently, why would anyone, including yourself, actually care?
The only answer I can give you to you is that you aren't a roleplayer. Although in truth, I feel I'm only a light roleplayer. But character development in any story provides an empathy that begets an emotion. With how much depth BW provides us for interacting with our companions, their stories and relation to me matter a great deal. Irrespective of what anyone else thinks, which I have no interest in. Obviously, there are 50 <insert companion name> roaming fleet at any particular moment. This is of no relevance to me. What I care about is what I've built with my <insert companion name>.