, 05:51 PM
Writer's block is a b*tch. Have a short one that introduces a new child!
On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL.
LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL are out of the room when the door opens and a small green lizardy thing toddles in. Everyone turns to stare, including YOUNG BOWDAAR.
SMALL GREEN LIZARDY THING: Uh, hi, everyone. I'm Qyzen Fess. Glurrrblookl.
BABY BROONMARK waves cordially.
QYZEN FESS: I'm a Trandoshan.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: DIE.
YOUNG BOWDAAR charges BABY QYZEN FESS.
BABY VETTE: Wait, what?
YOUNG BOWDAAR, punching BABY QYZEN FESS repeatedly: TRANDOSHANS ENSLAVED MY PEOPLE. NOW I AM A SLAVE.
The children stare in wonder.
BABY VETTE: Did he just demonstrate a second trait?
BABY GUSS: I...I don't know.
BABY YUUN: Even Yuun was unable to find this.
BABY VETTE: But it looks like it.
BABY YUUN: Yuun thinks it's just a subset of "I AM A SLAVE." If Trandoshans enslaved him. So Yuun did not miss finding anything.
BABY GUSS: Wow. This is an unexpected dimension for Bowdaar.
YOUNG BOWDAAR, holding BABY QYZEN FESS in the air and punching him: DIE DIE DIE
BABY QYZEN FESS, only slightly inconvenienced: You're bad at this. Also, tag!
BABY QYZEN FESS swings in to tag YOUNG BOWDAAR's tummy.
BABY VETTE: Uh. What?
BABY QYZEN FESS, proudly: I got a point.
BABY VETTE: Uh. What?
BABY QYZEN FESS: A point. It's the purpose of existence! To tag people. To get points. Wakkpa. So the Scorekeeper won't...um, be disappointed or something.
BABY GUSS: Scorekeeper?
BABY QYZEN FESS: Yes, Wgggsnog. Scorekeeper. She keeps score? That Scorekeeper.
BABY GUSS: What a coincidence! I am the mystical Scorekeeper!
BABY VETTE: Stop impersonating deities, Guss.
BABY GUSS: What else am I supposed to do?
KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE finally return. They both have cookie breath.
YOUNG BOWDAAR is still punching BABY QYZEN FESS.
KHEM VAL: Who started this violence?
LORD SCOURGE: And why were we not notified?
KHEM VAL: Wow, Bowdaar is...bringing shame to his people with that performance. He would have gotten creamed on the battlefields of Yn and Chabosh.
LORD SCOURGE: Agreed. The Trandoshan's pretty sturdy, though. You. Trandoshan. What is your name?
BABY QYZEN FESS, continuing to ignore YOUNG BOWDAAR's flailing: Ygggklop bkork. Qyzen Fess.
LORD SCOURGE: I am going to ignore the verbal tic at the beginning of that sentence.
KHEM VAL: Even Tulak Hord would be unable to make sense of it.
BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.
BABY GUSS: Wait, can you and Qyzen understand each other?
BABY QYZEN FESS: Glllorp. I have no idea what the furball is saying.
BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!
BABY QYZEN FESS: Nope. Still total nonsense. Blagagaga.
LORD SCOURGE: Bowdaar, if you haven't defeated him by now you're never going to. Put him down.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE. I never get nice things.
YOUNG BOWDAAR drops BABY QYZEN FESS.
BABY QYZEN FESS, having been freed, sprints at insane speed toward LORD SCOURGE, hops up, and tags his tummy.
BABY QYZEN FESS: Point!
LORD SCOURGE, raising one eyebrow-tentacle-thing: I should kill you.
BABY QYZEN FESS: At least I will die with honor. And points. Snnnknknk.
KHEM VAL: I...what…at least Yn and Chabosh made sense.
LORD SCOURGE: Welcome to daycare, Qyzen. Be warned that if you attempt to acquire more points from the staff you will die.
BABY QYZEN FESS: Snnngok. I accept your terms.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM STILL A SLAVE.
YOUNG VETTE: But an unexpectedly complex one.