Not one person has actually responded with any kind of concrete answer. They're all assumptions or jokes. One L42 said that clearly this person did something wrong in an earlier conversation that implied a romantic attitude. That's not how the game works, and you cant even get married until after Chapter 3. There are plenty of opportunities to flirt that don't lead to marriage, but most of us shy away from even low affection level flirting for fear of BW pigeonholing us into matrimony.
I personally believe that any conversation involving going into a bedroom and/or having sex is a direct reflection of a romance in progress. Not just flirting. Don't forget that you can flirt and sometimes even have sex with normal NPCs. There is a pivotal conversation that happens for every romanceable (currently heterosexual) companion. And it should be very apparent to you when you see it.
There are several problems that will shed some light on this...
- Because every choice is permanent, you can't ever really know what would have happened if you'd taken another route and let it play out. That uncertainty plays to the benefit of the company providing the customer service (BW). We're always concessioning that we may have made a mistake. Because who can know, right?
- No one really knows where the Point of No Return is for any companion. And the spectrum of flirts and romps at varying levels of affection create an ambiguity that leads to fear and assumption. Only BW can truely answer this question for any particular companion, and they aren't talking, not even when a ticket is submitted.
- The only evidence that you have in fact married a companion is the 3 purple L1 companion gifts you receive in the mail (along with the sexting body of the mail). There's no ceremony. No after marriage activities. No followup emails. No line of text anywhere in the user interface that confirms you are married. And so this too creates ignorance in the playerbase as to the how and why and what-have-you.
- The majority of the playerbase does not care enough to get up in arms over accidental marriages (because they have so little current impact to a non-RPer), if you can even prove that that's what happened. You oftentimes get jokes and chides for even being upset about it. And consequently, those who do care, back off and simply accept it, which of course contributes to overall lack of knowledge and useful feedback.
- There is no credible information anywhere that says that you have an opt-out choice. In fact, I believe we are all forced to marry a companion (test details below). But again, the lack of matrimonial evidence leads a player to believe that they didn't even get married, and so they blow it off, making an assumption.
- BW is either unwilling or incapable of answering questions on this point. My female sorcerer was somehow forced to marry Andronikus Revel, a slimy wannabe pirate. This is my main character, and I have reserved her, from Day1 for Ashara, knowing that some day, same sex marriage will be put into the game. Consequently, my Ashara is perpetually at 6500 affection (in terms of the conversations that I've engaged with her. She's actually at 10K and "wanting to talk"). It is my hope that BW will give her alternate conversational choices when the feature is input, but I really have no way to know what they'll do, or if they'll do it all. I was quite sure that I did not make any wrong choices with Revel, but he was quite insistent upon pretending like we had a thing going. I turned him down over and over, losing massive amounts of affection in the doing. And I never gave him a Courting gift. And yet he persisted and ultimately sent me the 3 signature purple companion gifts. When I contacted BW about this in massive protest, they could not even confirm if I was married, much less do anything about it. The service rep was completely helpless and ignorant, giving me the same old spiel about forwarding it on to a developer. That was months ago, and as expected, I haven't heard word one.
I have come back around to the Inquisitor class and am rolling up an assassin. And the first thing that occured to me was that filthy forced marriage to Revel. Yep, primary concern before I even locked eyes with Harkun. I love the inquisitor storyline, so I'm FRAPSing every main and class quest along the way. And since I'm doing that, I'm also FRAPSing every single Revel conversation, to prove beyond the shadow of a doubt that I sent his butt packing every time he even suggests something romantic with me.
I am now L49 and eagerly working to complete Chapter 3, in part so that I can confirm what I suspected all along... That Revel will force himself into marriage with me no matter what I did. And no one is going be able to tell me that I made a mistake, because I can prove I didn't. Currently, he's at 10K and awaiting the Chapter 3 completion before forcing me down the aisle.
I'm already convinced he's going to do this because the last conversation I had with him, he was talking about our having babies, like we had ever flirted even once. There was no choice where I could tell him to go blow when he blurted this out of the clear black sky. The best I could do was say that I didnt realize he was such a softy (though I did listen to all 3 choices, and the other two were suggestive).
As you can imagine, I feel strongly about this. And I intend to shove this down the Service Forum's throat once I have it organized for internet viewing (which will be a cakewalk for someone as technical as me). Now, once SGRA releases (noted below), if they do some sort of optional overall romance reset that will allow me to fix this myself, that will be just fine with me. What won't be fine is a total lack of intelligent response or no response. Because hey, I can type all day.
A side note...
SGRA (Same Gender Romance Arcs) - This is the official term for it. It will make it easier to search on than "same sex romance".