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bright_ephemera
09.12.2012 , 04:43 AM | #253
Ooh, I do love blanket forts. As mentioned by Nalenne and Jaesa on a few occasions on another thread.

But first, I have a spinoff on iamthehoyden's chemistry suggestion!


On WEDNESDAYS, FCD is staffed by T7-01 and SCORPIO.


SCORPIO: Now, children. For today's show and tell, you have been asked to bring in interesting chemicals.
T7-01: SCORPIO = mistaken // chemical show-and-tell = beyond dangerous
SCORPIO: Teeseven, we are all out of soap in the refresher. You should go out to buy some fresh soap. We wouldn't want to be unsanitary.
BABY ELARA: Miss SCORPIO, for show-and-tell I brought a great deal of hand sanitiz-
SCORPIO: Be quiet, insect. Teeseven, could you go take care of that?
T7-01: SCORPIO = good thinking // T7 = go get more soap
T7-01 whizzes away.
BABY KALIYO: I cannot believe that still works.
SCORPIO: He is nothing if not consistent. Now, then. Vector, we will start with you.
BABY VECTOR: For show and tell we brought more membrosia because Miss SCORPIO said if we don't get her a sample for analysis she will use our brain for science.
Everyone looks nervous for a few seconds.
BABY VECTOR: As you will recall, membrosia has many healthful effects, which we have been told we should list in order of priority. It absorbs you into the hive mind, then improves your strength, reflexes, lifespan, and so on.
BABY BROONMARK, resentfully: Blllorp. (*)
BABY VECTOR, handing off the bowl of membrosia to SCORPIO: We hope you're satisfied.
SCORPIO: Well done. Now, Pierce. Did you have something to show the children?
BABY PIERCE: I did. Seems it disappeared. Wonder who that could've been.
BABY PIERCE gives BABY TANNO VIK a dirty look.
BABY TANNO VIK: Ooh, me! I've got show and tell chemical compounds!
BABY TANNO VIK swaggers to the front of the playroom and produces a small canister.
BABY TANNO VIK: This is an explosive, but I haven't yet figured out what. I only stole it a few minutes ago. Judging by the smell it's probably in the tricheminitrate family, so the street value's chump change, but for a quick 'n' dirty job it'll do you just fine.
BABY PIERCE: Quick and dirty? That's quality product, mate!
BABY TANNO VIK: Noted for the resale markup, my friend. Miss SCORPIO, may I demonstrate? I'm kinda curious what yield this has.
SCORPIO: Proceed.
BABY TANNO VIK starts setting up a canister, fuse, and a place to secure the improvised bomb.
BABY VECTOR: Can he please not test it on our shoes?
SCORPIO: Very well. Vik, test it on Broonmark's fur instead.
BABY TANNO VIK: But we already know that's indestructible.
SCORPIO: Observe the degree to which it is indented before it springs back. You can calculate the energy yields from there.
BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.
BABY TANNO VIK: Fine.
The children watch as BABY TANNO VIK finishes rigging up his explosive, tucks it just under BABY BROONMARK's shaggy fur, and backs off. A few seconds later there is a loud THUMP and BABY BROONMARK's fur, blackened, blows away from the explosion site. Two seconds after that there is a faint sproinging noise as BABY BROONMARK's fur springs back into place, mildly singed but fluffy as ever.
BABY BROONMARK: Blllorp.
BABY TANNO VIK: Friend, if somebody told you that was quality product, somebody lied.
BABY PIERCE: Broonmark's indestructible fur just makes it look bad.
BABY TANNO VIK: Nah, even by the standards of ruffling his fur. Terrible stuff. You should be grateful I took it off your hands.
BABY PIERCE: Nope, not grateful.
BABY TANNO VIK: Well, if it's that important to you, can I interest you in the half I didn't work into this bomb? Quality product, low price, very good for –
BABY PIERCE tackles BABY TANNO VIK and starts whaling on him.
SCORPIO: Now, children. I am eager to see the rest of the show and tell. You may finish the arms deal later.
BABY PIERCE, yanking at BABY TANNO VIK's elbow: I got your arms right here.
SCORPIO: Pierce. Combat ends now.
BABY PIERCE: Hmph.
SCORPIO: Kaliyo. What do you have to contribute?
BABY KALIYO produces a clear flask full of iridescent brownish liquid.
BABY KALIYO: This here is Rylothian Moonshine, a base of one hundred twenty proof whiskey with a special blend of seven herbs and spice…mostly spice. It is dee-licious.
BABY VECTOR: It is burning our nerve endings from here.
BABY KALIYO: Your fault for being a freak. Anybody want a taste?
BABY VECTOR: We are already getting one, thank you.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING, from the pet cage: I want some. I think you owe me tribute.
BABY KALIYO: Not likely, slug.
KARAGGA THE UNYIELDING: I hate this place.
BABY KALIYO: Anybody else want some?
BABY TANNO VIK: I'll have some.
BABY PIERCE: And me. In fact, I'll take his.
BABY TANNO VIK: Like hell.
BABY PIERCE and BABY TANNO VIK resume brawling.
BABY KALIYO: Huh. Can't drink while you're fighting. Well, I can, but I've had practice.
BABY VECTOR: You are three years old, Kaliyo.
BABY KALIYO: And wise beyond my years, bug-boy.
BABY BROONMARK shuffles over to plop down next to BABY KALIYO. A tiny Talz hand rustles its way out of BABY BROONMARK's fur and extends a palm-up gesture.
BABY BROONMARK, expectantly: Blllorp.
BABY KALIYO: Oh, that cannot possibly be a good idea.
BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!
BABY KALIYO: I didn't say I wouldn't do it, I just said it couldn't be good when I did!
BABY KALIYO cheerfully hands the flask to BABY BROONMARK, who carefully guides it through his fur to his proboscis and drinks up.
BABY BROONMARK stands thoughtfully for a few seconds. Then…
BABY BROONMARK: Raaargh!
BABY BROONMARK lowers his head and charges BABY TANNO VIK and BABY PIERCE. The two look up from their fight.
BABY PIERCE: Well, hell.
BABY TANNO VIK: Truce while we run for it?
BABY PIERCE: Yeah, sure.
BABY PIERCE and BABY TANNO VIK get up to start sprinting. At the last moment BABY PIERCE trips BABY TANNO VIK.
BABY PIERCE, sprinting away from BABY BROONMARK's rampage: Ha-ha, getting' out alive!
SCORPIO: So it would seem. How disappointing.


Idiom notes:
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