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08.31.2012 , 07:44 AM | #228
Today is a direct-quote day!

On FRIDAYS, FCD is staffed by KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.

BABY SKADGE is sitting on BABY TALOS while holding BABY VETTE by one lekku and whipping her with the tip.
BABY SKADGE: Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
BABY VETTE: Puh-leeze. That gag was old before you were born.
BABY SKADGE: You're still talking. That means I'm not hitting you hard enough.
BABY VETTE squeals in pain.
SCORPIO: I doubt she will ever learn not to antagonize the person who is actively torturing her.
KHEM VAL: That just means she will always be fun to watch.
BABY VECTOR: Mister Khem Val, Miss Scorpio, we are concerned about Skadge's behavior.
KHEM VAL: You realize there's only one of you, right?
BABY VECTOR: This time we are speaking for everybody else in the room. We especially speak on behalf of Talos.
BABY TALOS, from underneath BABY SKADGE: Mfff mrrff mf.
BABY VETTE: I don't need anyone speaking for me!
BABY VECTOR: You might want someone who can say something that will get positive results, Vette.
BABY VETTE: I can get positiv- ow! Ow!
BABY VECTOR: So, Mister Khem Val, Miss SCORPIO, we are concerned. Perhaps you could do something about it?
BABY SKADGE swings BABY VETTE out to trip BABY GUSS as he's walking by. BABY SKADGE drags them both in and starts banging their heads together.
KHEM VAL: Tormenting three at once, as was standard for the taskmasters of Yn and Chabosh. I didn't know he could do that. Did you know he could do that?
SCORPIO: Just watch.
BABY SKADGE grabs BABY VETTE and throws her in a precision strike at YOUNG BOWDAAR, knocking him over.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE. Why is it always me...
KHEM VAL: Most impressive.
SCORPIO: He is learning to control and expand his aggression. Very intriguing.
BABY VETTE sits up and shakes her head, hard.
BABY VECTOR: Are you all right?
BABY VETTE: Yeah, sure. But I think it's time for some policy lobbying.
BABY VECTOR: We can help. We are skilled in such matters.
BABY VETTE: Obviously you aren't, because the menace is still at large.
BABY VETTE toddles over to where KHEM VAL and SCORPIO are watching BABY SKADGE's reign of terror.
BABY VETTE: Can I ask you something?
SCORPIO: Proceed.
BABY VETTE: Why is he even here?
KHEM VAL: What do you mean by that?
BABY VETTE: Why did you let this psychopath in the door. It makes no sense whatsoever.
KHEM VAL: He is a paying customer.
SCORPIO: And he tests your limits as I am not permitted to.
BABY VETTE: I...I...I shouldn't even be surprised at that reasoning. Did Mister Teeseven approve him coming in?
SCORPIO: Oh, yes.
KHEM VAL: Skadge pulled a blaster and insisted we should let him attend daycare or else he would shoot.
SCORPIO: Once Lord Scourge was finished laughing, he pronounced Skadge bold enough to enter, though he made no guarantees as to whether Skadge would leave again.
BABY VETTE: I would love to guarantee that he leave again.
KHEM VAL: Teeseven was persuaded by Lord Scourge's judgment. So Skadge stays.
BABY VETTE: Mister Teeseven can be persuaded to do a lot of dumb things.
KHEM VAL: Do not speak so of the daycare staff.
A pause.
KHEM VAL: SCORPIO, I'm surprised you didn't snicker even a little at what Vette had to say.
SCORPIO: I was obliged to disable scornful snickering in the latest iteration of my software. It caused more trouble than it was worth.
KHEM VAL: But you're still laughing on the inside.
SCORPIO: Oh, yes.
BABY SKADGE, having gotten bored of sitting on BABY TALOS, scoots aside, scoops up BABY TALOS, and throws him to knock YOUNG BOWDAAR over again.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: This is because I AM A SLAVE, isn't it.
BABY VETTE: You know, Bowdaar, you're big enough to take him.
BABY VECTOR: And you see, this is why we discourage you from negotiating difficult social situations.
BABY VETTE: Quiet, you. C'mon, Bowdaar, sock him one.
KHEM VAL: Yes, do. It will be as in Tulak Hord's gladiatorial arenas.
SCORPIO, with pretend shock: For shame, Khem. That would violate the rules.
KHEM VAL: Gladiatorial arenas are only against the rules if we're the ones setting them up. If we happen to look the other way...into a vidscreen that'll give us realtime coverage of the bloody combat...we can claim innocence.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: I AM A SLAVE, and slaves do battle to the death a lot.
YOUNG BOWDAAR roars a Wookiee roar and charges BABY SKADGE.
BABY SKADGE, finally standing up: Ooh, fresh meat.
BABY SKADGE punches YOUNG BOWDAAR in the leg hard enough to knock him over.
BABY SKADGE: This will be over fast, fuzzy.
BABY TALOS throws a building block at BABY SKADGE.
BABY VETTE and BABY GUSS join in, throwing assorted toys at BABY SKADGE.
BABY GUSS: Wheeee!
Before BABY SKADGE can retaliate, YOUNG BOWDAAR tackles him.
BABY SKADGE: You can't gang up on me! There's...uh...rules or something! And I'll beat you all up!
BABY VECTOR throws a rock at BABY SKADGE, then sidles away and tries to look diplomatic.
BABY VETTE: Wow, Vector, I'm impressed. I never knew you were the heavy-projectile-weapon type.
BABY VECTOR: The nest can defend itself.
BABY TALOS: Are we dead ye...oh, my goodness! We won!
BABY VECTOR: Yes, one enemy vanquished. Somewhat to our surprise.
BABY VETTE: Brutal. Better check I still have all my parts.
BABY VETTE runs in to start gathering up pieces of the model swoop track. Once satisfied that they're all there, she looks up at KHEM VAL and SCORPIO.
BABY VETTE: So anyway, Skadge lost! That means Bowdaar kills him, right?
BABY VETTE: Pleeease?
BABY VETTE: But...but...didn't Tulak Hord do it that way?
KHEM VAL wavers.
BABY SKADGE: Most days I would say I love it when they beg, but I don't like where this is going.
SCORPIO: Now, children. Killing your companions is strictly forbidden. No matter how much they deserve it. Besides. I am not finished with this one.
YOUNG BOWDAAR: Figures. My work is for nothing, for I AM A SLAVE.
BABY VETTE: Your work is for nothing because the staff here is incompetent.
SCORPIO: Malicious, little one. Not incompetent. You will survive longer in this galaxy if you learn to tell the difference.

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