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bright_ephemera
08.21.2012 , 08:37 AM | #213
(My husband made me do it. It's not my fault! This next bit's all mine.)


On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by and KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.


KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE walk up to the wreckage of FORCED COMPANIONS DAYCARE.
KHEM VAL: Huh. Somebody screwed up.
LORD SCOURGE: I never would've thought T7-01 would be the one to do it.
KHEM VAL: No kidding.
LORD SCOURGE: Ah, well. Instance reset?
KHEM VAL: Instance reset.
KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE walk away again.


On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by and KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.


LORD SCOURGE: So did anyone actually succeed in dying?
BABY TEMPLE looks around.
BABY TEMPLE: No, I think the instance reset cleared it.
LORD SCOURGE: That is somewhat disappointing.
KHEM VAL: I was really expecting that Guss wouldn't make it.
BABY GUSS, hiding under the corner table, hugs himself and rocks back and forth quietly.
LORD SCOURGE: Ah, well. Until T7-01 respawns, I think it's high time we got the Force-sensitives some lightsaber training.
KHEM VAL: I feel that for tradition's sake one of us should assert the daycare rules, including no weapons training.
LORD SCOURGE: Teeseven got daycare crushed by falling rocks. I think that earns us a free pass for the day.
LORD SCOURGE spreads out his cloak and shakes out a staggeringly large pile of training sabers.
LORD SCOURGE: Force-sensitives, please come forward.
BABY KIRA, BABY ASHARA, BABY JAESA, and BABY XALEK come forward. BABY GUSS continues cowering under the table.
BABY TEMPLE: I'm definitely not coming forward for that.
LORD SCOURGE: I...wouldn't expect you to.
BABY TEMPLE: Good! Good! Please continue!
BABY XALEK sweeps up a practice blade and hits BABY JAESA with it.
BABY JAESA: Ow!
KHEM VAL: Well played, Xalek.
LORD SCOURGE: Yes, well played indeed. Your aggression does you credit.
BABY JAESA is scowling ferociously.
BABY KIRA: It's okay, Jaesa. Stay calm. If you control your emotions, you can-
BABY XALEK hits BABY KIRA with his practice blade.
BABY KIRA: Ow!
BABY ASHARA picks up a practice blade.
BABY ASHARA: Control your emotions, ladies. Just carry a big stick while you're doing so.
LORD SCOURGE: This one might be dangerous.
KHEM VAL: I could devour her if she ever became a serious Jedi threat.
BABY JAESA, in a singsong voice: Control, control, you must control...
BABY KIRA: That's right. Think Light Side thoughts.
BABY XALEK grumbles wordlessly.
BABY PIERCE wanders up and examines the pile of training sabers. He picks one up and waves it experimentally.
KHEM VAL: Put that down.
BABY PIERCE: Why? I've gotta learn to beat things up, too.
BABY PIERCE commences a mad charge that sends BABIES XALEK, KIRA, JAESA, and ASHARA flying.
LORD SCOURGE, muttering: That's not half bad.
KHEM VAL: You don't get to use lightsabers or training sabers!
BABY PIERCE, defiantly: Why not?
LORD SCOURGE, pretending he hadn't approved: You are not a Force user. It's a Force user thing.
BABY PIERCE, waving at KHEM VAL: He's not a Force user.
KHEM VAL: I'm not using a lightsaber or a training saber. I am using an ancient artifact of terrifying evil.
BABY PIERCE: Can I learn how to wield an ancient artifact of terrifying evil?
KHEM VAL: No.
BABY PIERCE: You lot make no sense at all. It's a stick. You hit people with it.
BABY PIERCE casually swings to one side, knocking a charging BABY XALEK out cold without looking at him.
BABY PIERCE: So why is it exclusive to you Sith?
BABY JAESA, groggily: And Jedi, jerk.
BABY KIRA, rubbing her head: Stay calm, Jaesa.
LORD SCOURGE: It's a rule, Pierce.
BABY PIERCE: I hate rules.
LORD SCOURGE: It's a rule and also the Force users can casually destroy you if you try to join the lightsaber club.
BABY PIERCE: I can casually destroy things, too.
BABY PIERCE pulls a thermal detonator out of his glove.
KHEM VAL: You don't have to blow up the playroom just to prove a point every other day, Pierce.
BABY JAESA: Yeah! There are peaceful ways to resolve our differences.
BABY PIERCE: Hey, Jaesa. The Dark Side is awesome.
BABY JAESA: ...oh. Rrrrrrrrrrgggg-
BABY KIRA: Pierce!
BABY PIERCE: What? It's not my fault she keeps falling for it.
LORD SCOURGE steps forward and relieves BABY PIERCE of his training saber.
LORD SCOURGE: Go terrorize Rusk or something, would you?
BABY PIERCE: Hmph. Okay.
LORD SCOURGE: Now, children. Khem Val and I will demonstrate some of the basic combat forms that will guide your fighting. Here I shall set myself in the opening stance of Soresu form. It is a form of defense and protection, used for-
KHEM VAL: Being a pathetic coward, like the rebels at Yn and Chabosh. Tulak Hord used the elegant aggression of of Makashi form.
KHEM VAL demonstrates a stance and a few practice swings with his great, lightkilling Sith blade.
BABY XALEK, raising his hand: Mister Lord Scourge?
LORD SCOURGE: Just Lord Scourge. You don't need the mister.
BABY XALEK: Which is the killing-people form?
LORD SCOURGE and KHEM VAL smile.
KHEM VAL: All of them.
BABY XALEK: Oh, I'm gonna like these lessons.
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