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08.21.2012 , 08:37 AM | #213
(My husband made me do it. It's not my fault! This next bit's all mine.)

On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by and KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.

KHEM VAL: Huh. Somebody screwed up.
LORD SCOURGE: I never would've thought T7-01 would be the one to do it.
KHEM VAL: No kidding.
LORD SCOURGE: Ah, well. Instance reset?
KHEM VAL: Instance reset.
KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE walk away again.

On TUESDAYS, FCD is staffed by and KHEM VAL and LORD SCOURGE.

LORD SCOURGE: So did anyone actually succeed in dying?
BABY TEMPLE looks around.
BABY TEMPLE: No, I think the instance reset cleared it.
LORD SCOURGE: That is somewhat disappointing.
KHEM VAL: I was really expecting that Guss wouldn't make it.
BABY GUSS, hiding under the corner table, hugs himself and rocks back and forth quietly.
LORD SCOURGE: Ah, well. Until T7-01 respawns, I think it's high time we got the Force-sensitives some lightsaber training.
KHEM VAL: I feel that for tradition's sake one of us should assert the daycare rules, including no weapons training.
LORD SCOURGE: Teeseven got daycare crushed by falling rocks. I think that earns us a free pass for the day.
LORD SCOURGE spreads out his cloak and shakes out a staggeringly large pile of training sabers.
LORD SCOURGE: Force-sensitives, please come forward.
BABY KIRA, BABY ASHARA, BABY JAESA, and BABY XALEK come forward. BABY GUSS continues cowering under the table.
BABY TEMPLE: I'm definitely not coming forward for that.
LORD SCOURGE: I...wouldn't expect you to.
BABY TEMPLE: Good! Good! Please continue!
BABY XALEK sweeps up a practice blade and hits BABY JAESA with it.
KHEM VAL: Well played, Xalek.
LORD SCOURGE: Yes, well played indeed. Your aggression does you credit.
BABY JAESA is scowling ferociously.
BABY KIRA: It's okay, Jaesa. Stay calm. If you control your emotions, you can-
BABY XALEK hits BABY KIRA with his practice blade.
BABY ASHARA picks up a practice blade.
BABY ASHARA: Control your emotions, ladies. Just carry a big stick while you're doing so.
LORD SCOURGE: This one might be dangerous.
KHEM VAL: I could devour her if she ever became a serious Jedi threat.
BABY JAESA, in a singsong voice: Control, control, you must control...
BABY KIRA: That's right. Think Light Side thoughts.
BABY XALEK grumbles wordlessly.
BABY PIERCE wanders up and examines the pile of training sabers. He picks one up and waves it experimentally.
KHEM VAL: Put that down.
BABY PIERCE: Why? I've gotta learn to beat things up, too.
BABY PIERCE commences a mad charge that sends BABIES XALEK, KIRA, JAESA, and ASHARA flying.
LORD SCOURGE, muttering: That's not half bad.
KHEM VAL: You don't get to use lightsabers or training sabers!
BABY PIERCE, defiantly: Why not?
LORD SCOURGE, pretending he hadn't approved: You are not a Force user. It's a Force user thing.
BABY PIERCE, waving at KHEM VAL: He's not a Force user.
KHEM VAL: I'm not using a lightsaber or a training saber. I am using an ancient artifact of terrifying evil.
BABY PIERCE: Can I learn how to wield an ancient artifact of terrifying evil?
BABY PIERCE: You lot make no sense at all. It's a stick. You hit people with it.
BABY PIERCE casually swings to one side, knocking a charging BABY XALEK out cold without looking at him.
BABY PIERCE: So why is it exclusive to you Sith?
BABY JAESA, groggily: And Jedi, jerk.
BABY KIRA, rubbing her head: Stay calm, Jaesa.
LORD SCOURGE: It's a rule, Pierce.
BABY PIERCE: I hate rules.
LORD SCOURGE: It's a rule and also the Force users can casually destroy you if you try to join the lightsaber club.
BABY PIERCE: I can casually destroy things, too.
BABY PIERCE pulls a thermal detonator out of his glove.
KHEM VAL: You don't have to blow up the playroom just to prove a point every other day, Pierce.
BABY JAESA: Yeah! There are peaceful ways to resolve our differences.
BABY PIERCE: Hey, Jaesa. The Dark Side is awesome.
BABY JAESA: ...oh. Rrrrrrrrrrgggg-
BABY KIRA: Pierce!
BABY PIERCE: What? It's not my fault she keeps falling for it.
LORD SCOURGE steps forward and relieves BABY PIERCE of his training saber.
LORD SCOURGE: Go terrorize Rusk or something, would you?
BABY PIERCE: Hmph. Okay.
LORD SCOURGE: Now, children. Khem Val and I will demonstrate some of the basic combat forms that will guide your fighting. Here I shall set myself in the opening stance of Soresu form. It is a form of defense and protection, used for-
KHEM VAL: Being a pathetic coward, like the rebels at Yn and Chabosh. Tulak Hord used the elegant aggression of of Makashi form.
KHEM VAL demonstrates a stance and a few practice swings with his great, lightkilling Sith blade.
BABY XALEK, raising his hand: Mister Lord Scourge?
LORD SCOURGE: Just Lord Scourge. You don't need the mister.
BABY XALEK: Which is the killing-people form?
KHEM VAL: All of them.
BABY XALEK: Oh, I'm gonna like these lessons.
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